The Select and Start News Report: 04.07.08
Posted by Vincent Chiucchi on 04.07.2008
This week's majority of violent video game news comes from the United Kingdom, in both a bad and good way. Back here, Gerstmann Gate takes a turn for the better, a new Tom Clancy game is announced, and an update on the TNA video game. All that and the usual.
Welcome to the Select and Start News Report. Last week was April Fools Day and I have to give major props to Destructoid for their "Foxtoid" parody for being hilarious and IGN for that Zelda trailer because it may have been a joke, but it looked awesome.
Big News
THE UK IS CRAZY [credit: GamePolitics, Destructoid, GameSpot, Kotaku]
When it comes to news about violent video games, America takes the cake for being the craziest country by trying to pass laws left and right to restrict sales, asinine ramblings from people who don't know what they're actually saying (more on that later), and FOX News running with whatever headline will grab ratings with the help from the infamous "First Amendmant Lawyer" we've all come to love. But this week, most of the news comes from the folks on the other side of the world: The United Kingdom.
First off, there's the story of a British newspaper that is paying people hundreds of pounds to tell their story of how video games turned them to a life of crime. This was posted on the UK's talent community website StarNow, and it doesn't list the newspaper in question. Also the news broke out on March 31st, so it might have been some April Fools joke, but nothing has been said that it was a joke so it's likely real. My question is if this newspaper happens to be owned by Rupert Murdoch, because then it would explain a lot. However, I'm thinking this "newspaper" is actually one of those tabloids that thrive on bullshit stories like this.
Second, there's the reactions to the Byron Report. The report basically called for video games to be rated differently by combining the Pan-European Game Information (PEGI) and British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) systems. EA UK exec Keith Ramsdale says he disagrees with Byron, saying the PEGI system works just fine on it's own, and having a single-nation system like the BBFC will make things complex. Considering I'm not from the UK I can't say much, but it sounds like the same argument that people have for supporting the ESRB. Meanwhile, Labour MP Keith Vaz says he's in support of Byron's views, though he's still going on about how in 2004 14 year-old Stefan Pakeerah was murdered by 17 year-old Warren LeBlanc because Warren was re-enacting Manhunt despite how it was proven Warren never had the game, but rather Stefan did. So screw Keith Vaz.
On a sidenote, I do plan to read the entire Byron Report during my Spring Break.
Then there's TV Personality Anne Diamond, who played some violent video games and gave her opinion on them. Suffice to say, they were very negative yet hilariously bad. For Call of Duty 4, she says "Perhaps it might be OK for older teenage boys, but only in small doses." Mind you, older teenage boys can be drafted and sent to wars that have absolutely no purpose. As for Resident Evil 4...well, here's an image of the review itself.
Don't tell me Dr.Byron is the only sensible person in the UK!
THE UK IS NOT CRAZY [credit: Destructoid, Gamasutra, Joystiq, GamePolictics]
Oh thank goodness!
A research team from Middlesex University studied 292 World of Warcraft players of both genders between the ages of 12 and 83 (83-year-olds play WoW?!), and after a two-hour session, based on the questionaires filled out, the players felt more relaxed before playing, though it all really depends on each person's own personality.
Sounds good, but only a two-hour session and World of Warcraft? What about games that are getting the spotlight for violence and corruption like Manhunt 2? I am surprised that an MMO actually RELAXES people, considering people get addicted to it like it's their life and have to pay $15 a month to play it over and over and then you work so hard to get that special item only for some stupid hacker to take it because he's nothing more then a DAMN SON OF A...wait, what I was talking about again? Oh yeah, relaxing. A two-hour session isn't really enough, so really, this study doesn't help very much.
So Ubisoft has been having it pretty good with the Tom Clancy franchise, and even more so now that they own the license. Now they've announced a new game with his name on it; an air-combat game called "Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X." The game comes out on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC this Fall and will offer over 50 different jets, a 4 player co-op campaign and 16 player versus matches. IGN's got the trailer:
Aside from Ace Combat and Crimson Skies, I don't know many air-combat games, so it'll be interesting to see if this one does so well that people will say this is the way to do these kind of games, just like what Splinter Cell did with stealth games.
UPDATES ON THE TNA VIDEO GAME [credit: PWInsider.com]
Here are the latest updates that came up for the TNA Video Game which is taking about as long as it takes the company to make Samoa Joe the world champ (except the latter should've already been done):
-Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, Jay Lethal, Booker T, Sting, Kurt Angle, Christian Cage, Homicide, Hernandez, Rhino, Scott Steiner, Eric Young, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Shark Boy, Christopher Daniels, and Tomko are all confirmed as being in the new TNA Impact video game. There will be 25 wrestlers as well as a create your own wrestler feature.
Only 25 wrestlers?! TNA's roster has usually been said to be packed and they only put in 25? I guess because it's the first TNA game they want to feel things out for if they release another one the following year.
-The different types of matches in the game include singles, tag team, Ultimate X, Full Metal Mayhem (weapons match), Monster's Ball (multiple players with weapons), Free For All (four players against each other), Submission Match, Falls Count Anywhere.
Oh thank the lords they aren't throwing in the Reverse Battle Royal! But what about the Six Sides of Steel/Lockdown and King of the Mountain matches? Hopefully they announce that as well.
-The game will also have a storyline mode that Midway describes as "creative and different as possible."
Based on what's happening in TNA now, I doubt that.
-Venues will include the Impact Zone, Japan, Great Britain, Las Vegas, Mexico, and a small indie style venue.
It's great they'll have multiple venues considering TNA mostly does the Impact Zone, but what about TNA's original home the Asylum?
So far things are looking good and hopefully the long wait will be worth it. A lot of people seem to be getting sick of the WWE Smackdown style of wrestling games, and TNA and Midway look to be taking this game very seriously.
[credit: Destructoid, Kotaku, Voodoo Extreme]
About five months ago GameSpot editor-in-chief Jeff Gerstmann was let go, and while it wasn't officially revealed why, sources say it was his Kane and Lynch review that got him canned. Former GameSpot employees also point the blame at Josh Larson, VP of games at parent company CNET, who was claimed to be nothing more than a suit who only cared about the business side of things. Well, this week it has been confirmed that Josh Larson will be leaving CNet. CNet announced that it would be cutting 10% of their work force (120 employees), and Josh Larson is part of that 10%. Larson's last day with the company will be on April 9th. Well Larson, good luck finding another place where you can be a suit all of you want and not completely fuck the company over.
Tidbit News
-Capcom has acquired the exclusive rights to the MotoGP license as well as acquiring Tenchu and Lost Planet developer K2. [credit: GameDaily, Gamasutra]
-First Master Chief appeared in Unreal Tournament 3, and now Samus Aran is making the rounds. [credit: Joystiq]
-Speaking of Unreal Tournament 3, Epic and Intel are holding a contest for aspiring developers to create mods for the game in a range of categories including environments, weapons, gameplay, tools, vehicles and more. Prizes include Velocity Micro PCs, cash prizes, and as for the Grand Prize, an Unreal Engine 3 license. [credit: Gamasutra, GameDaily]
-For a long time now many gamers have been asking Telltale Games to release the Sam and Max episodes to the Wii. Well, the demands have been met, as Telltale announced that Sam and Max: Season 1 will be coming to the Wii this Fall. [credit: GameSpot]
-Ubisoft announced "Emergency Heroes" coming exclusively to the Wii in May. The game is an open world driving game where you must rescue people in one of 16 different rescue vehicles. Wait...I thought there was No More Heroes anymore! [credit: GameDaily, Gamasutra, GameSpot]
-The ESRB has created a free, downloadable search widget for looking up the ratings of over 14,000 games. The widget can be put on a desktop or personal blog or website and can be customized for color, size, and language. [credit: GameSpot, GameDaily]
-Stormfront Studios, who developed The Spiderwick Chronicles, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Neverwinter Nights, and other games, has closed down. So it goes. [credit: GameDaily, Gamasutra]
-"Father of the PlayStation" Ken Kutaragi will be inducted into the Consumer Electronics Association's (CEA) CE Hall of Fame which takes place on October 21st in Las Vegas. Congratulations to Kutaragi. [credit: GameDaily]
-Hey PC Gamers, were you looking forward to Madden '09? Well, it's been canceled for the PC. Peter Moore says the reason for the cancelation was serious business challenges with releasing sports games for the PC, and EA is currently cutting back on releasing titles for the PC. [credit: GameSpot]
-So why are there still Wii shortages in America? According to analyst Micheal Pachter, it's because of the weak US dollar. Since Nintendo could make more money if they sold the Wii in Europe rather then America right now, Nintendo is sending the Wiis to where it will be most profitable. It's always the damn economy isn't it? [credit: GameDaily]
Gaming Calendar
April 9th - Games from "The Orange Box" to be available separately
April 15th - Okami gets ported to the Wii
April 20th - Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games to be released
April 22nd - The World Ends With You to be released
April 27th - Mario Kart Wii to be released
April 29th - Grand Theft Auto IV to be released
May 12th - WiiWare Service to be launched
May 19th - Wii Fit to be released
May 2008
-Mass Effect gets ported to the PC
-R-Type Command to be released
-Haze to be released
June 3rd - Ninja Gaiden II to be released
June 12th - Metal Gear Solid 4 to be released
June 28-29 - Blizzard's Worldwide Invitational convention to be held
June 2008 - Guitar Hero: Aerosmith to be released
NEW: July 8th - Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo's Dungeon to be released
Spring 2008:
-Heroes of Might and Magic Kingdoms to be released
-Death Jr.: Root of Evil to be released
September 7th - Spore to be released
September 2008 - LittleBigPlanet to be released
October 3-5 - E for All 2008 to be held
October 9-13 - The Tokyo Game Show 2008 to be held
November 2008 - Gears of War 2 to be released
Fall 2008 - Resistance: Fall of Man 2 to be released
Shakespeare is worse then Grand Theft Auto
Usually this would be The Bible is worse then GTA, but this week I'm going to do on it on Shakespeare based on the ramblings of one Phyllis Schlafly, a conservative (figures) commentator. She says she is getting sick of violent video games being protected under the same First Amendmant rights as works of Shakespeare, as if to say Shakespeare is better because it doesn't contain the same amount of extreme violence that video games do.
Apparently Phyllis Schlafly has never heard of the story Titus Andronicus. Now, many of Shakespeare's works are violent, but Titus Andronicus takes the cake. Or rather, I should say takes the pie, because at one point in the story, Titus kills two men and puts them into a pie that is fed to their mother. The reason Titus kills the two men, Chiron and Demetrius, was because they raped his daughter Lavinia and to make sure she didn't reveal who did it, cut off her tounge and hands. They also framed two of Titus' sons for the rape and they get executed despite Titus being told that if he cut off his hand (which he did) they would be spared. Eventually Titus kills Lavinia himself when he asks the Emperor, Saturnius, if a father should kill his raped daughter and he says yes. Titus also kills the mother of the two rapists cooked in the pie, then Saturnius kills Titus, and then Titus' son Lucius kills Saturnius.
Lots of murders, rape, dismemberment, and two people being cooked into a pie and fed to their OWN MOTHER. Yet somehow, because it's written by the man I call the "Original Emo" it's perfectly okay? Man, people in America sure do have weird standards. Or maybe Phyllis Schlafly is senile.
The Video of the Day
IGN's fake Legend of Zelda movie trailer:
Wrestlemania 24 Thoughts
If you're tired of hearing all the WM24 talk by now, feel free to skip this section. Here I rate matches with letters because honestly, I don't really like the star system.
Belfast Brawl: Finaly vs. JBL
I was surprised that this was the first match of the night and that JBL actually won, considering Hornswoggle came out and it looked like he and Finlay would get their revenge. So based off last week, it looks like JBL will now be feuding against Randy Orton for the title. But since a Heel vs. Heel feud doesn't make sense, Cena and HHH will probably still be involved and we get a 4-way at Backlash. As for the match itself, it was pretty good opener. I'd give it a C.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
So far these matches have never disappointed and has become a welcoming tradition to Wrestlemania. Awesome spots, a Matt Hardy run-in, and CM Punk actually wins the match. I figured Punk would win because if he's going to be on the cover of the WWE Kids magazine, he's got to be in line for some kind of push, though I'm thinking he'll be challenging for the Smackdown world title. Here's to hoping he doesn't look that suitcase through some BS angle. Match gets a B.
Batista vs. Umaga
I didn't give a damn about this match at all, and even if I did it was boring and predictable. Umaga is a jobber to stars like Batista, and really, is Smackdown really proven to be superior because of this? This gets a D.
ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo
SQUASH. BERRIED. Thanks for coming Chavo! F.
Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair
HBK may have blown a couple of spots, but that "I'm sorry, I love you" moment more then makes up for any mistakes these two may have made. Even if the actual wrestling wasn't top notch, this was a perfect match, and there was even moments where I thought Flair would actually win and decide to retire on his own terms. A.
Bunnymania Match
A match so bad that the lords of above didn't want to see it. Or maybe it was TNA shanenigans? Either way, the only saving grace for this match was Santino, because Santino is one of the most entertaining wrestlers on the roster. At least Beth Phoenix got the win. I'd give this a D.
WWE Title: Orton vs. Cena vs. HHH
Holy crap Orton actually retained! That was the hugest surprise of the night because very few people actually thought he would win. Now, I've never had and will never be a Cena H8TR, but I didn't want him to win the title because it would reach Jeff Jarrett levels of annoyance. The match itself was pretty good and, wow...Orton actually retained! Cleanly! I give it a B.
The Big Show vs. Floyd Maywheather
This match was also a pleasant surprise because it worked out so well. Big Show beats the crap out of Floyd, tries to leave early, and winds up beating the Big Show by multiple chair shots and brass knuckles to the face. I've noticed people pointing out how Big Show has NEVER won a 1 on 1 match at Wrestlemania, and to me, I think it's because of his character. Big Show is the kind of guy who at his weight and size looks to be the clear winner, but then his opponent somehow finds a way to overcome the odds and topple the giant. I guess they figured it worked so well with Hogan/Andre that they do it constantly. I'd give it a C.
World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker
Unfortunately, with this being the Main Event it was obvious Undertaker would keep his streak, and really, for a guy who has been extremely loyal to the company for all these years, he should keep it. The match was still good and for some reason, I found that referee sprint to be hilarious. B.
Overall, I really enjoyed Wrestlemania. There was a few bad matches, but the main events, the Flair Retirement match, and Money in the Bank all delivered. Some stuff was predictable, but we also got some nice surprises (is Orton really still the champ?). Now hopefully, unlike last year, they won't make this seem like a rip-off over the next month or so. I hated how after WM23, they were having the same and yet better matches just days and weeks later at Backlash AND free TV. Please WWE, don't make me think I've wasted $50, especially since I can't record the damn event to a DVD.
A message to Mark Salmela
For those who've read The SIXAXIS B3yond the Report, Salmela sort of complained about other writers of the 411 Games section not wanting to start a blood feud with him. I offered Salmela the chance to start one with me, but then he decides to point out how I'm starting it in his own column, almost as if he won't take me serious. Is that it Salmela? Well guess what Mark! I'm going to do what TNA does and that's CROSS THE LINE! How? By posting THIS!
Check it out! I actually HAVE a water cooler! Okay, it isn't really a cooler since it doesn't actually cool the water but STILL! It dispenses water! Anytime I want! It holds 8 cups (2 liters) of it! Are you jealous Mark? Jealous that for a man who does a feature called the One Man Water Cooler, you have to post some JPEG of something you only WISH you had while I post the REAL THING? Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
