B3yond the Report 04.22.08

Posted by Mark Salmela on 04.22.2008

This week I rate the worst PlayStation Network titles. In addition I was part of the Exploding Barrel Podcast, I respond to reader comments, give my thoughts on the possibility of motion controls for the 360, and cover news on things like GTA IV, Gran Turismo 5 Prologue, Mortal Kombat vs. DC, the new PlayStation Store, the Metal Gear Online Beta, WarHawk Operation Broken Mirror, and much more when we go B3yond the Report!



Hey everybody, what's shakin? As I write this I'm actually kind of pissed, since a couple of days ago someone broke into my car and stole my car deck. Fuck car thieves. Thankfully I have a couple friends who can help me get a deal on a new one and know how to install it. But enough of that, you're not here to see me bitch about personal matters. This week I *finally* was a guest on the Exploding Barrel Podcast with AJ and Mike Minotti. You can check out the link here and give it a listen. Thanks again AJ and Mike, it was fun and I'm open if you ever need another guest. We covered a lot of interesting topics.

Besides that it's been a rather short week as we close in to the upcoming GTA4 release on April 29. Thankfully there are a couple of things to talk about with the new PlayStation Store, so let's get to what I do best…



Not covered by your insurance, it's B3yond the News of the Week~!

The new PlayStation Store goes live



For Sony fans the big news of the week is the new PlayStation Store which went live last week. Coming with the version 2.30 PS3 firmware, the new PlayStation Store now lives natively on the PlayStation 3 and has been given quite the makeover. The PlayStation Store is now designed specifically for a d-pad much like the Xbox Live Marketplace, unlike the old PlayStation Store which had a terrible web-based interface that didn't work very well without a mouse. The new PlayStation Store is sleek, sexy, and fast. Now while people have noticed the fast part isn't quite up to speed yet, that's because the store just launched and there are some minor technical difficulties that Sony is working on. I got on the new PlayStation Store when it first launched and I downloaded the Lair Patch as well as the new Super Star Dust HD expansion pack almost 3 times faster then it would have on the old PlayStation Store. I am happy to say download speeds are just as fast as they are on Xbox Live.

Accompanying the new PlayStation Store is brand new content . This week we were treated to the long awaited Lair analog patch, an expansion pack to Super Star Dust HD, Gran Turismo 5 Prologue, WarHawk Operation Broken Mirror, and much more. The Super Star Dust HD expansion pack gets a high recommendation from me, adding in sweet new modes such as bomber, where you are stripped of your weapons and left with nothing but bombs to fend off incoming enemies. Obviously GT5 Prologue is also a must have, with an awesome 16 player online multiplayer in addition to the high-res graphics. I'll talk about WarHawk's Operation Broken Mirror in a little bit, and I'll leave the rest of the PlayStation Store goodies for you guys to find for yourself once you load up the new PlayStation Store.

Credit: Sony


Metal Gear Online running into problems?



Another nice surprise was the early launch of the Metal Gear Online Beta. Don't get me wrong, you couldn't play it until the 21st, but the fact that users could download it and get registered early was a nice surprise. It's a good thing users got to download it early too, because there was a plethora of problems. First some users only got part of a registration key, meaning that they had to contact Konami to get new Beta keys. Then, once everyone got their beta keys and downloaded the Beta, everyone had to download a patch just to get into the game, which took some users over 6 hours because of slow servers. Finally, users also had problems signing up for a Konami ID, which is necessary to play the game. This is where I personally had the most trouble, since it seemed the website was down practically all week. Konami better get their act together because if this Beta doesn't start getting better really quickly they're going to run the risk of derailing all of the momentum they've built up for MGS4. I actually as of this writing am still having trouble with the site, as it keeps saying it's deleted the page due to inactivity. I'm sure I'll get it fixed by the time this column goes live, or else I'm going to have to kill something. Konami, get your shit together fast. I'll have further impressions of the beta next week.

And as a last note, the MGO Beta has now been pushed back until the end of the week in North America. Apparently the servers still suck, at least the Beta will be extended a week to compensate. My Konami Game ID is unclefester for anyone who's interested. My PSN ID is Fester.


You're testing my patience, Konami.

Credit: PlayStation Blog


Sweet Jesus Batman, it's Sub-Zero!



First, I just want to gloat a little bit. Because I called this back in my October 2nd edition of the SIXAXIS Report which can be found here. Any who, it has been confirmed, the next Mortal Kombat game will be Mortal Kombat vs. DC Comics. Confirmed via a trailer featuring Batman vs. Sub-Zero, the next Mortal Kombat vs. DC Comics will be released this fall on the PS3 and 360.

Now I do have some thoughts on the game. First, the game will apparently be looking for a Teen rating from the ESRB. Apparently DC Comics didn't like the idea of their top superheroes getting decapitated by Midway's elite brawlers. Now the fact that there will be a Midway versus game featuring DC Comics doesn't bother me, the fact that it's Mortal Kombat does. Seriously, Mortal Kombat without the violence? That's like Halo without weapons. The entire idea behind Mortal Kombat is creating the most violent and outrageous game possible. Making a Mortal Kombat game without blood and fatalities is stripping the franchise of everything that it became popular for. I can't believe people like Ed Boon signed onto this. It's still too early to predict whether or not the game will be a failure but I am very upset over this. Why the hell would I play Mortal Kombat without everything that makes it cool? I don't care whether or not I'm fighting Batman or Wonderwoman, the fact that it's going to be a watered down fighter ruins it for me. With Tekken 6 and Soul Caliber 4 also on the horizon Mortal Kombat versus DC Comics is going to take a back seat in my book, as the game has lost everything that made me love it.

Credit: Games Radar


WarHawk's Operation Broken Mirror has landed on the PlayStation Store



In addition to GT5 prologue and the rest of the PlayStation Store update, WarHawk's 2nd expansion pack called Operation Broken Mirror has launched on the PlayStation Store. For $8 you get control of the new map called Vaporfield Glacier, as well as the new APC vehicle. This Armored Personnel Carrier is a moving spawn point that really adds into the strategy of WarHawk. Before, your spawn points were everything. But now, you can take your spawn point on the go in case you need to get across the map and have no other bases. The APC can carry up to 7 people and will provide each person who spawns in it a secondary weapon in addition to the normal pistol. While powerful, the APC doesn't ruin the balance of the game, and makes for one of my most favorite additions to WarHawk besides the Wrench. The APC can also spawn a field generator, which will protect everything in it from incoming fire, and will even destroy any plane that touches it. Your team can shoot out of the field generator, but enemies can't shoot in. I've been playing the expansion pack all weekend, and I can say the fun in WarHawk never ends. If you haven't picked up WarHawk yet, you owe it to yourself to pick up the most fun multiplayer game the PS3 has to offer.






It is awesome.

Credit: Sony



B3yond the tabloids!

Good news everyone, Grand Theft Auto IV has officially gone gold and will be released on April 29th for the 360 and PS3. It's been a long wait but I have a good feeling it will all be worth it.

In more GTAIV news the game will not have split-screen multiplayer. While I am saddened that the game won't have split-screen multiplayer I must admit this is one game I didn't plan on playing at parties with other friends. This also didn't stop the game from getting a 10/10 from OXM.

The Rockstar Social Club is now accepting pre-registrations. The Rockstar Social Club is a dedicated site for leaderboards, statistics and virtual events for upcoming Rockstar games. Here's the website.

The upcoming patch for Burnout Paradise will feature custom soundtracks for the PS3 version. I like Burnout Paradise but dammit I can never find time to play it.

Despite outselling the 360 the past 2 months in North America, the 360 barely outsold the PS3 in the month of March *262 thousand to 257 thousand*. While I predict the 360 will outsell the PS3 again for the month of April and maybe May, once June hits the PS3 will start a big upswing, starting with MGS4.

The TNA Impact video game from Midway has been delayed until September 2008. The game will ship for the PS3, 360, and Wii.


B3yond the Cinema!



Here's the opening movie to Gran Turismo 5 Prologue, now available exclusively on the PS3.



Coming straight out of Team Fortress 2, meet The Scout!



Finally, here's the MK vs. DC announcement trailer.



The One Man Water Cooler~!



Well since I've already covered all of the news and am adding a new feature right below this one, I'm going to keep this weeks' One Man Water Cooler short and sweet. Since I rated the 10 best PSN titles two weeks ago and the 10 best PS3 titles last week I figured I'd discuss some of the worst PSN titles. These are ones that you should definitely avoid.

10.) Cash Guns Chaos: Basically a Smash TV rip-off. It's not bad, but I couldn't get into it. For a launch PSN title it was ok but I can't recommend anyone going back to download it now.

9.) Nucleus: Basically a bad rip off of Blast Factor and Super Star Dust HD. It's not a terrible game, but it's not good either. It's the worst of the Geometry Wars style dual-stick shooters.

8.) High Stakes on the Vegas Strip: Poker Edition: It's a poker game that should be free. Some people might want to simulate poker without having to actually gamble, but I don't.

7.) Rocketmen: Axis of Evil: It's like Smash TV, if Smash TV was ass. I like Smash TV style games, but this game has terrible hit detection *I never know when I'm getting hit*, and the gameplay is mediocre at best. Unlike some people I don't mind the art style, but I do care about the terrible gameplay.

6.) Pixel Junk Racers: Sadly this title is nothing like the other title in the Pixel Junk franchise. While Pixel Junk Monsters is the best PSN title in my opinion, Pixel Junk Racers is terrible. I'm sure it sounded good on paper but it just didn't turn out. I'm sad to say it but the upcoming Pixel Junk Eden will probably fall into this same category. Maybe they should just make Pixel Junk Monsters 2 instead.

5.) GripShift: I don't know why some people liked this game. It took the absolute worst from 3 different genera's and crammed them into one horrible controlling title. It's a horrible puzzle game, a horrible racing game, and a horrible adventure game. Mix three different piles of shit and what do you get?

4.) Aquatopia, Turi-Emaki, and Mesmerize: I grouped these 3 titles because they're all the same garbage. They're all 3 "interactive screensavers" where there's basically no gameplay at all. They're all just shovel ware for the PlayStation Eye. I wouldn't mind these games if they were free, but since they do cost money they're on this list. 3 terrible games that make me regret buying a PlayStation Eye.

3.) Toy Home: This is honestly the only game on the PSN I have not purchased. I played the demo and it was so bland and retarded I refuse to buy this game. If you try to buy it for me and send it to me as a gift I will refuse to accept it. This game is trash, period.

2.) Go! Sports Ski: Another title that I thought could have been cool. But then I actually purchased the game and realized that there are only 2 courses. 2 courses. 2 in the entire game. What the fuck is up with that? The controls are broken and don't work at all, the graphics are terrible, the sound is terrible, and the online is a disgrace. There's no chatting other than a select list of quotes you can have you character say, great quotes from "The cat was getting in my way" to the ever popular "I ran out of the energy". I wipe my ass with this game.

1.) Go! Sports Skydiving: How do you make a sequel to a game that was horrible in pretty much every way? By making the concept idiotic of course. I had thought a skiing game on the PSN would have been cool, and I even thought the idea of making it SIXAXIS controlled was fine. But skydiving? Are you serious? Rather then discussing what was wrong with this game, you'd be better off trying to find anything right in this game. The idea that my instructor was a fat guy named "Captain Rainbow" is the closest thing to fun I had in this game. Then I realized he was annoying as hell.

There you have it, the top 10 worst PSN titles. I don't know whether or not I'll make a top 10 worst PS3 disc title list, but feel free to make your own list below *there's a lot of titles on the PS3 that I would consider bad*.



B3yond the Mail!



Well I've said before that I recommend my readers leave me feedback, whether it be questions and or comments. I already answer basically every email I get personally but before I was only answering comments with another comment in the column. Since people may not see it I've decided I'm going to add in a new section where I can answer fan questions or give my response to reader comments from the previous week. I can't promise I'll do it every week *depends on whether or not I get reader response or if my column is already getting too long that week* but for at least now I'm going to add in a new section where I can personally address reader comments *maybe it'll boost the number of comments*.

To Guest#9899: Oblivion is worthy enough to be considered one of the best PS3 titles. Personally I never got into Oblivion that much but it still was a fun game *basically all of my friends loved it*. I just never found the time to get that deep into Oblivion but what I did play was fun. Fallout 3 will be different, I will make time.

To Guest#4760 and Guest#9751 : All of the Metal Gear Solid 4 packages should be available for preorder now. I don't work at Gamestop or anything official but from what I've heard you can just ask for a preorder for the regular MGS4 standard edition and as soon as they start taking official MGS4 PS3 bundle preorders you can have them switch it over. I guess I recommend you go talk to your local Gamestop or video game store and try to work out a deal, although I have my doubts there'll be major shortages of the PS3 MGS4 bundle on June 12. Just look around if one place doesn't have them.

To calem: Pixel Junk Monsters is a great title and I made two lists, one rating the best PSN downloadable titles and one rating the best PS3 disc games. Pixel Junk Monsters got my award for best PSN title while Uncharted won best PS3 title.

To: Mazz: MLB 08 The Show is a great title, I both own it and reviewed it for the site a couple of weeks ago and gave it an 8.4/10. While the title is great, it's not quite on the level of the other honorable mentions I listed such as Burnout Paradise and Ninja Gaiden Sigma. Rest assured if I had made a top 20 the game would have made the list for sure.

To Andy010: The COD4 maps for the PS3 have been approved and should be up this Friday. Infinity Ward plans to have simultaneous launches for all future DLC for COD4.

To Everyone who disagreed with my comments on F-Zero: I can see how some people would prefer F-Zero to WipeOut. It all comes down to a matter of opinion. I never played the Gamecube F-Zero *to my recollection* but I own both the SNES and N64 titles and I happen to prefer WipeOut. We all have our favorite titles, and I am not above liking titles that are accepted as shitty *I don't mind Super Rub-a-Dub on the PSN*.

To 411Derek: Ninja Gaiden Sigma is a great game, however it is still a port that I originally beat on the Xbox over 2 years ago. That's why it only got an honorable mention on my best PS3 disc games. Ninja Gaiden 2 will be amazing though.

To Kirk: Sorry to hear you're one of the few unlucky ones to fall to error 80010514. Sadly no console is invincible. I've had my PSP break before and I can tell you Sony's customer service is pretty good. I've also had my 360 break before so I know what it's like *thankfully I have a Best Buy warranty so I can exchange it right away*.


Finally the big argument from last week:

To Toddo : While comparing a Microsoft motion controller to the Sega CD and 32X might have been a little extreme, it is something that would divide the fanbase. Why would developers openly want to take the time to add in these controls if only a small number of people have them? I don't see a whole lot of developers making decent SIXAXIS controls and making motion sensing controls work would be even harder. The only way I could see it work is if developers made games SPECIFICALLY for using motion control, in which case you are in fact dividing the 360 fanbase from the people who do have the motion controller from the people who don't. Not to mention Microsoft refuses to let FPS titles use the keyboard and mouse combo on the 360 for the reason that it wouldn't be fair against people who only use the controller. How would you balance games where you could choose between motion sensor and analog sticks? Sure Nintendo got away with it for Mario Kart but for more hardcore games like Halo and Call of Duty all hell would break loose. The motion controller wouldn't be a simple peripheral like a headset or a vision camera *or adding rumble into a controller*, this would be a major change in the way 360 games are played. At this point it's way too dangerous for Microsoft to release a peripheral of this magnitude, they're much better off on releasing it with a new console to ensure everyone has it and the fanbase isn't divided.


As I said before I always read what you guys send me and I appreciate the comments, even if they're sometimes filled with hate. If you wanted a response to your comment and I didn't respond I apologize.



The 411mania Empire~!



The Full Circle by Joe Roche. Microsoft says they've doubled the sales of the 360 in Europe, which I guess "doubled" is their fancy way of saying "someone else bought one". Hey Joe, how's Rocky and Bullwinkle?
Nintendophiles by Theo Fraser, and I wonder what people would think if I said Gran Turismo was better than Mario Kart.
The PC Centric Extravaganza by Chris Evans, and us Tuesday writers got to stick together against the rest of these fools…
The Select and Start News by Vincent Chiucchi, who's sporting a nice new banner. It's nice, except he didn't make it himself! What a chump… Oh wait; I didn't make mine either *thanks Eric*… Oh well, everything else is mine *I had made a banner too but it was mediocre, unlike Snake who's awesome*.



Signing Off!



Well that's it for me this week. School is quickly winding down and the summer season is winding up. Thankfully with games like GTA4 and MGS4 gamers like myself won't have to worry about skin cancer and can concentrate on more important things like blowing up cars and avoiding the police. I have no idea what I'm going to be doing in the next week, this column is the only sure thing. Go listen to the Exploding Barrel Podcast here ; I guess I'll cya in 7!