The 10th Hour 05.23.08: 10 Things That Need To Change About Sonic

Posted by Derek Robbins on 05.23.2008

Some old franchises have remained golden to this very day, but others haven't. 411's Derek Robbins looks at one of those who failed to make the transition in Sonic the Hedgehog. Which 10 things need to change about Sonic? The 10th Hour fills you in on what you need to know.

Hello and welcome to the 10th hour! As always, before I get started there are a couple of things that I would like to hit on.

-I've had the Orange Box on the 360 for a while, but…I recently picked up TF 2 for the PC and I have to tell you, this is where it was meant to be played. It's glorious and I believe I fell in love with the game all over again. I still say it was the best multiplayer game released last year.

-So I went to a movie yesterday. While people around the world were preparing to go out at midnight to see Indiana Jones at launch, I went to go see the Death Note movie! It was an over-dub of the original Japanese movie, so it feels a little weird at first but I ended up liking it in the end. Some of the voices didn't realllly fit (given that they're the same voices used in the English Death Note, and instead of using anime characters they are using real people, so it's a little harder to cast) but I'd recommend a watch if you're a fan of the series. It's out of theaters now (two day release), but I figure if you wanted to see it, you've probably torrented a version with subs by now.

Reader Feedback

Last week was an interesting week. Instead of my usual column I typed from the perspective of your typical GameFAQs user. With that said, there really isn't much for me to respond to in the comments section (due to the fact last week was mostly a humor list, as opposed to an actual one)…I'll still respond to a few though.

We could use an injection of Vitamin D

This list made me laugh hard. Thank you.

Seriously though....if you were going through the mindset of a GameFAQs
user....you know at least 4 of the games would be Japanese! Plus people would
be muttering "baka" or something related to it.

Also, no Katamari Demacy? You know that game is the favorite of "them
peoples" over there!

Nice list dude, hilarious! =)


I considered using "baka" and "kawaii" and what not, but I ended up going against it because…I don't know, I felt almost like it'd be over-doing it. I was going for obnoxious, I hit it, but I wasn't going for: "Make your eyes bleed obnoxious".

I think I had plenty of JRPGs, which would comprise the Japanese titles I lacked. As for Katamari…it's something I could have added and would have been very easy to mock (though I love that game). OH WELL! It would have fit in, at least.

Vincent Chiucchi pierces the heavens with the following comment:


Good list and who's that guy riding the blue thing?

That would be Kamina (riding atop Croagunk) from the anime Gurren Lagann. He's a pretty generic character if I had to be totally honest, but I still think he's alright.

The oft controversial David R. brings the praise:


I agree with FF VII (it is one of my favorite RPGs), but I really know it has it
flaws. The depth of characterization went to Cloud, Sephiroth, and Aerith...it
seems. Chrono Trigger was pretty awesome as well, but a handful of characters
(and a lack of a true sequel) really kills it.

I would have crucified you for Xenogears. I'm sorry, man, but demz da breakz.
Xenogears IS my favorite PS1 RPG (it doesn't hold up well to Shin Megami Tensei
Persona 3 or FES). You have to keep in mind, video games are in their infancy.
Story telling requires developers to tiptoe around certain subject matters.
You know Jack Thompson is waiting to get more parents into a riot because of
"video games messing people up." Geez, I wish people would be
accountable for their actions...

You have to take most of the posts by Gamefaqs users with a grain of salt. It
seems like some of them are unwilling to have their tastes evolve (which is a
shame for them).

Regardless of that, funny stuff man. Keep up the good work.


I love a lot of the games I listed, but I had to mock them anyhow. Sadly enough. I absolutely love Xenogears and think that it has possibly the best disc 1 of all time (and the worst disc 2). I actually would have had problems mocking the game because the story actually IS deep. I think it holds up just fine today and is worth playing if anyone out there hasn't.

JP is next in line:


Touche.

When I saw Goldeneye on your list, I seriously threw up in my mouth a little.
The amount of people who genuinely talk like that about that game is
astounding.

And to think... in 10 years there will be people throwing up in THEIR mouths
hearing people say the exact same things about Halo.

ps I am shocked - SHOCKED! - that you got another earthbound reference in!
...*cough*

Is there a 411mania iron man award for the most consecutive articles in a row
to make reference to the same person, place or thing? If not, there should be.


Yeah, I'm not a fan of Goldeneye. It's already appeared on my "Most Over-rated Games" list (much to the chagrin of the e-mailers back then) along with the Goldeneye of the Future (Halo)…so I'm not sure what else needs to be said.

As for the Iron Man award…well I'm working on it. I have a ways to go before I reach it though…I believe Czonka has the award for mentioning Mickie James. He is the Lou Gehrig to my Cal Ripken Jr…and you all know how THAT ended.

Curty, a GameFAQs user, has something to say:


As a member of GameFAQs myself I found this to be a hilarious and true read.

FFVII is like a god to the majority over there. As soon as I saw the word,
"GameFAQs" I knew FFVII would take the top spot.

Curse you, Sqaure fanboys!


Well I am glad a member of their community thought it was humorous. I posted there for a very short period of time to essentially troll their Super Smash Brothers Brawl message board and was taken aback by how many people seriously wanted characters like Cloud, Sora, and Geno to be in Brawl. It kind of made me shudder a bit. There are some decent people over there, but for the most part…decency goes there to die.

Patrick Robinson wants the truth.


How much different in the end was their top 10 from yours?


Glad you asked! 1-) FF VII 2-) Ocarina of Time 3-) Chrono Trigger (The same as MY top-three. Imagine my shock when I guessed all three right) 4-) Link to the Past 5-) Mario Brothers 3 6-) Smash Brothers Melee – this list was made before Brawl came out and I assume Brawl would have been here – 7-) Goldeneye 007 8-) Metal Gear Solid 9-) Halo: Combat Evolved 10-) FF VI

So, if you assume Melee would be replaced by Brawl, I accurately predicted 6 of the 10 games. I was also really close in the fact I had Mario Brothers 1 on the list…while Mario Brothers 3 was the actual game.

Real quick before I go on, I wanted to apologize to that Cardinals fan from last week. I don't believe in curses or jinxes and truly believe that the past 100 years is our own damn fault. I should have just said that instead of being kind of a jerk about that, so I apologize and hope you accept!



Top-10 Things That Need to Change About Sonic
This week I was going to cover the top-10 franchises that need to be killed off, but Curry Man already covered that and I really don't think we need multiple columns on the same topic…so I'll do something else! As a lot of you know, I'm a total Earthbound nut. It's probably my favorite game of all time (Iron Man Streak +1), but you may not have realized that there is another franchise out there that I am totally in love with and am not able to look at rationally. Sonic the Hedgehog! Don't get me wrong, Sonic has been absolutely horrible lately – which is why I'm writing this column – but even to this day he remains one of my favorite video game characters ever and I'd kill to play as him again in a GOOD game. I guess I just remember the Genesis days too fondly, because odds are we'll never see the days where Sonic and Mario were on equal ground again. So this week I'm discussing things I wish would change about Sonic, or that I wish Sonic would do.

As for the rules: There are none. Anything that I believe needs to be changed will be mentioned.

Also, before you ask…No, I don't buy these new Sonic titles when they have just been released. I don't want to support this bullshit they're doing. For titles like Sonic 2006, which I just wanted to try because I heard it was so bad, I wait until I can find a used copy for under twenty bucks.

10-) Wii game minus gimmick - Now don't get me wrong, I am all for innovation and trying something different – when it's necessary. For games like Kirby's Canvas Curse, it really could not have controlled in any other way and the differences made it welcome. It felt like a good, quality game and was a very welcome addition to the franchise. I'd honestly say that Canvas Curse might be one of the top-three Kirbys ever. That said…can you really see Sonic and the Secret Rings as one of the best Sonic games ever? Sure, it's good in the sense that it's better than most every 3D Sonic title on the market, but even shovelware such as the new Crash games could make claim to such a feat. While playing through it and steering Sonic through the fairly interesting courses, I couldn't help but tell myself: "You know, I think I would like this game more if I was actually CONTROLLING Sonic." Let's look at it like this – this game captures everything a Sonic game should be – it has great music, simple gameplay, and is somewhat challenging. If you just tilt your wiimote to the right, you will not beat this game and that is really cool I think. That said, the fact you control the way you do does take something away from the experience, so I hope the Sonic Unleashed that will be released for the Wii (it's made by DIMPS – the makers of Sonic Rush – as opposed to Sonic team. This may actually be a good thing) offers something more straight-up and more traditional. IF Sonic and the Secret Rings had been made as a more traditional platformer – like Super Mario Galaxy – I believe we probably would have the first truly good Sonic title in a long, long time. Given the state that the franchise is in, believe you me that would have been welcome. With all of this said, I feel a bit weird criticizing Sonic Team for trying something different. I am the same guy talking up Banjo: Nuts and Bolts for messing with tradition, but…I just don't know. I felt that the changes made here weren't really necessary and came off as more of a gimmick than anything. A game that didn't force you to embrace the wii's differences would have been preferred. There's always next time, right?

- See, this game looks awesome. It'd be even better if it controlled normally!

9-) Remake - For those of you who own a PSP, you may know what I am talking about. Megaman is a franchise every bit as classic as Sonic. While there are Sonic fanboys covering the globe, remembering the glory days…there are just as many Megaman fans out there. While the blue bomber hasn't been in a great game in God knows how long (though Zero has been in a few), the fans keep hope. That's why I often feel the blue bomber and the blue blur have a lot in common. Both have suffered through some tough times and need a lift. On the PSP, Megaman has received two remakes of fondly remembered titles: Megaman 1 and Megaman X. They were made with new graphics and are both a blast to play. They show that you can re-wrap an old present, add a couple of neat extras, and have a gameplay experience like brand new. While I love the collections that feature all the old Sonic games, it'd be something really cool to play the old-school Sonic titles with new, shiny graphics and perhaps a couple of other bonuses. While it may be considered taboo to take away the neat looking sprites and insert new, 3D models…I have to tell you, it could turn out really neat. I bet that a lot of old-school Sonic fans would actually purchase that title…and on top of that, it's not "old-school" enough to frighten off the younger Sonic fans who like the newer stuff. It shows that a classic game such as Sonic can stand the test of time. Many Resident Evil fans consider RE:make to be the best one in the franchise, and with some work…I think a lot of Sonic fans would embrace a Sonic remake in the same way. With pure adulation. Just don't go adding any of your generic furry characters into the mix and we'll be A-Okay. I really don't have any urge to run through Robotropolis as Rouge the Bat.

- It worked for Resident Evil!

8-) The Camera - For any of you who have ever played a 3D Sonic title, you probably know exactly what I am talking about. The camera always seems really jerky and can be counter-productive at times. It really isn't impossible to create a game with a working camera. We see platformers do it all the time! Sonic just has never seemed to capture the magic and the poor camera work can lead to some pretty frustrating incidents. To be fair, the camera has never been so piss-poor that it's kept me from finishing a game. Sure, it may kill me a couple of times, but I've always been able to make it to the end to fight the final boss. That said, it can be rather frustrating at times, especially in Sonic 2006. For whatever reason, in that game every level is like 15 minutes long and you have NO save points. So if you lose all of your lives you are screwed. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, because the 3D Sonics aren't exactly hard…but when you combine the piss-poor camera with all of the horrible glitches Sonic 2006 has, it can become quite the frustrating experience. There were a couple of times I ran out of lives when I was 10 minutes into a level and I just about threw my controller through my television. I almost excluded the camera work from this list, because really…EVERYONE knows it's bad and it probably is quite hard to create a competent camera system for a game that emphasizes speed, but really…is it so hard that the series has seen no noticeable improvements since Sonic first rushed into 3D? Really, it's sort of maddening, and I think it's about time they do something about it. What has me hopeful about the new title, Sonic Unleashed, is that it appears to be part 3D/part 2D. So even if the camera work is a tad sloppy in the 3D sections, there is always the side-scrolling areas which should not be an issue. I would like to believe that Sega is finally listening to what the true Sonic fans of old are saying when it comes to this game, but…I thought they were going to do that with Sonic 2006, and what an out-right abortion that game wound up being. I am very, very hopeful that the next title will be worth playing, but give history I would not be surprised if it ended up flopping. I just hope the camera during this likely flop will keep steady.

- What's the deal with shoddy cameras? They make the game feel like garbage? Am I supposed to enjoy garbage?

7-) Shadow the Hedgehog - This character seems to be the turning point in the Sonic franchise. Either you absolutely love the black hedgehog (newer fans) or you loathe him and consider him the point in which Sonic officially took a dive off of the deep end (older fans). Whatever the case is, it's hard to deny that Shadow has had an impact on the Sonic franchise. Now…if they had kept him dead at the end of Sonic Adventure 2, that would have been alright. It was the perfect farewell in my opinion and actually made Shadow a somewhat admirable character. He was gone and Sonic would move on. This would have been good…except they brought him back. I guess they were listening to their fans who demanded more Shadow and mourned his death. Well…his return was un-paralleled in its awfulness. They decided: "Well, those kids like the dark, emo hedgehog…I BET THEY'D REALLY LIKE IT IF WE GAVE HIM GUNS AND HAD HIM RIDE AROUND IN VEHICLES LIKE IN THAT THERE HALO." And all of a sudden, the 3D Sonic franchise changed. Instead of semi-light-hearted adventure games…we were fed "dark and deep" stories that were fairly shallow at its core. It really ruined things, because in the first Sonic Adventure I felt the tone, even if the world was at risk, was pretty light hearted and fun. Sonic Adventure 2, while a little "deeper", was also much the same way…but with the return of Shadow, it seems the light-hearted, fun-loving Sonic is gone and the serious Sonic with his un-willing nemesis Shadow is in the forefront. It seems like post-Sonic Adventure 2, every game that Shadow has been in has been absolute garbage. It may even just be his presence that shits up a game, but for whatever reason…the kids love him. So he'll just keep on coming back and the games will just get more "deep and dark". If I was Sega, I would listen to the more oldschool Sonic fan and just retcon Shadow. Forget he ever existed and just move on. Sonic was at his best when he was light-hearted and Shadow's presence just takes that away. Like make an excuse saying: "Every game post Sonic Adventure 2 was in an alternate universe". I don't know, just do something. I think it's just for the best that we forget the last generation of Sonic games (and the first of this most recent generation) and start over from scratch. Thankfully Sonic Unleashed appears to only have Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles…so perhaps Sonic Team is finally taking that step in the right direction. More Sonic, less Shadow is a great thing.



6-) Vehicles/Guns/Other stuff - Can you imagine Mario rollin' around the Mushroom Kingdom with the wheel of his car in one hand and a pistol in the other? Presumably with his hat backwards on the way to pick up Princess Peach and cap some Bowser ass…well, you get what I'm going for. It seems sort of blasphemous, don't you think? Well, once again mostly thanks to Shadow, it seems Sonic games as of late incorporate vehicles and weapons in some facility and it just doesn't seem right. Let's look at the game Shadow the Hedgehog. Without touching the horrible story, take a look at the gameplay. Shadow runs fast, can pick up various weapons to shoot down enemies, and he can also ride in vehicles. Now hasn't the Sonic franchise ALWAYS been about speed? So why in the hell would a critter like Shadow need a car? That's just crazy! On top of that, the vehicles control like garbage and feel just sort of tacked on for the sake of enraging me. In my eyes, if Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic 2006 had Sonic/Shadow levels that played like the Sonic Adventure franchise, they'd have actually been pretty competent games. Those two featured fun, simple gameplay that almost felt like a 3D version of the 2D franchise we loved so much. THAT'S what they were shooting for, isn't it? It seems like Sonic Team is trying too hard to over-complicate thing…when in reality for Sonic the Hedgehog, simplicity works best. Once again, let's take a look at Mario. Tell me once when a Mario game has been overly complicated? I mean, sure, sometimes you have to do various "hard" things to get stars and what not, but never has it gone out and changed a whole lot. It remains simple and it remains fun. It's sort of a franchise you turn to when you're tired of complex games. Sonic should be like that, like it used to be. Overly complicating the game with un-necessary additions really, really hurts it and is probably one of the big reasons that Sonic is looked at with such negativity today. Keep Sonic on the ground, running fast…and I'll be a happy camper. Save guns and vehicles for Halo, I want my hopping and bopping to stay pure.

- Well, I guess this was their target audience.

5-) No more new generic characters - ARGH. It seems like every Sonic title feels the need to add a new, worthless character. In Sonic Adventure, Big the Cat was the worst offender, in Adventure 2 you had Shadow, in Sonic Heroes/Sonic Advance 2 you had Cream the Rabbit, in Sonic 2006 you had Silver, in Sonic Rush you get Blaze, in Sonic Rush Adventure you had Marine the Raccoon. Now don't get me wrong, while the original four – Sonic, Amy, Tails, Knuckles – aren't the epitome of quality character design, we're used to them by now and we like them! Now it seems in every new game we get a random furry creature that is practically a stock character and shows no unique personality whatsoever. For instance, Cream the Rabbit is a "cute yet shy" character. Wow, it's not like we haven't seen that a hundred times before. Absolutely nothing makes her special, and she's just sort of…there. Blaze is your typical heroine, Shadow is your typical JRPG hero, Big is like the comic relief idiot…it just goes on. Don't go thinking I am totally against adding new characters – I'm not. Think back to the past for a second though. Remember when Knuckles was first un-veiled? He was COOL. Nobody really had any problems with him – he was a creature like Sonic who was working with Robotnik, and it just seemed so…right. I remember being so excited to play as him, hell…I couldn't stop drawing him and I had never even touched the game before. They later rehashed this with Shadow, and we are where we are today. Do you ever see kids get this excited about Marina, Blaze, or Silver? If you can genuinely get fans excited about a character instead of just throwing them out there for the hell of it, you know you've done a good job. Making anthropomorphic raccoons with no personality just isn't going to get the job done. Either introduce new, cool looking characters or just keep it simple with the original four (and it's not like they don't have their problems either, Amy Rose). I'm tired of Blaze, I'm tired of Cream…I want something cool, and you're just not delivering it right now.

- Cream and Cheese...Get it? Bad duh psh.

4-) Press Right to Win - A lot of you may be thinking right now: "Derek! Sonic has always been like that!" but…you are wrong. The Sonic games have not always been like that. The old ones actually had some really nifty platforming elements. While the Sonic Rush and Sonic Advance series are notably better than what we see on the consoles, they still don't really capture the magic of the old days. When playing through Sonic Rush, I realized that there were some levels I didn't even have to think through. I just jammed on the right button, occasionally jumped, and I found I was at the end of the level. It goes rather quickly, and while Sonic has always been about speed, at least in the older games you had to stop and think for a second. You had to say: "Oh hey, how am I going to overcome this obstacle?" Parts of Sonic 1 would literally slow you to a crawl, and I felt that it was kind of neat that way. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the Sonic Rush series is bad by any means – ah contraire' – I have a lot of fun with it and it's the closest thing we're getting right now to a true Sonic experience. However, this is a list on how to IMPROVE the Sonic series and I think more platforming elements in the side-scrolling games would really go a long way in helping to restore Sonic to his former glory. Dimps has been really close in re-creating the success you find in Sonic 3, they just need to add a couple of things and we have potentially a dynamite game on our hands. I just hope they've learned from the past and are ready to embrace greatness. Sonic was a side-scrolling platformer and it's best to embrace those roots if you want to create a memorable experience. Sure, pressing right to win is great…but there could be so much more!

- Make them more like this, Sonic Team!

3-) Stories - When I was growing up, I was a huge fan of the Sonic comic. While it had its serious moments (issues 47-50) it for the most part was pretty light-hearted and captured the mood of Sonic pretty well. It didn't try too hard to appeal to the "dark/edgy" crowd that didn't really exist at the time. Sonic isn't an overly serious guy, so it doesn't make sense for him to be that way…but it seems like as of late, he has lost the "Cool dude who loves him some chili dogs mentality" and has embraced the "Squall Leonhart" school of deep characters mentality. Once again, let's use Mario as a comparison. I know I've used it a lot in this column, but you have to remember…back in the day Sonic and Mario. Today, Mario is still a great franchise while Sonic…well…isn't. Anyhow, let's say Mario is on his way to save Peach from Bowser for the millionth time, but Luigi is kind of miffed the Princess didn't ask for him to go. So he cuts himself while listening to My Chemical Romance he goes off to join Bowser to show Mario that he can be every bit as heroic as he can. Before you fight Bowser you have an epic showdown with Luigi, Mario wins…and they both cry and embrace. Seems weird and mis-placed doesn't it? Look, I have an outlet if I want "deep" storylines. I enjoy JRPGs. I do not play Sonic titles to hear about Maria, to hear about the complications of being Shadow, or to see Sonic kiss a human girl. I actually enjoy Sonic having a story. I quite enjoyed Sonic Adventure 1's. It captured Sonic's style quite well. While there were serious moments, it was just a fun game. Since then though, they've sort of devolved and became…well…just flat out moronic. I am not saying get rid of the stories completely – I'm still one of the few people who doesn't jam on the "skip cutscene" button even when the story is horrible – I'm just saying quit trying to be "deep". That's not Sonic. I said the same thing earlier regarding Sonic's gameplay…the simpler the better, and I feel that's the same thing with the story. No need to be overly complex, simplicity is golden and Sonic just being "A cool hedgehog who loves chili dogs and occasionally has a dramatic moment" is okay!

- I would have used Shadow again, but I already posted his ugly mug.

2-) Regular Enemies have healthbars - You're playing Super Mario Brothers 1. You're having a blast. You get to a goomba and you jump on it. It doesn't die, so you jump on it again. Once again, it's still alive so you jump on it again. IT STILL ISN'T FUCKING DEAD, JUMP ON IT AGAIN. Doesn't that just seem annoying and counter-productive? I mean, sure, in beat ‘em up titles health bars are expected and a necessity. It's really not fun just punching everyone down with one hit…but in these sorts of games it just isn't fun. Nobody in their right mind would have a title like that…would they? WRONG! Sonic Team is doing it and it drives me insane. No, no, It's not enough to simple home onto an enemy to destroy them with Sonic's spiky body. You have to do it upwards of three times. Isn't that insane? Look back at Sonic Adventure one and two. Not a single one of the regular enemies had life bars. You hit them, they die, you move on. It's simple, it's fast, and it plays into quite well. I don't know what they were thinking or what they were smoking when they decided to have every enemy in Sonic become a homing fest, but it just doesn't work. Now, to be fair, even though Sonic Heroes does this, at least it implements a power-up system where you eventually don't need to whack the enemies multiple times. At that point, Sonic Heroes passes from "average" to pretty decent, the problem is very little time is spent at max power so you're usually just homing onto people multiple times. It reaaaallly slows down the gameplay and for the 3D Sonic titles that is a huge problem because it brings to face a lot of other problems the game has, specifically the shoddy homing system. In Sonic 2006 I have attacked an enemy in mid-air, then tried to home back onto them to finish them off (since it's necessary to move on) and instead of homing onto them I just go somewhere else entirely and Sonic dies. It's just horrible, horrible, horrible. Even though the homing attacks in Sonic Adventures 1 and 2 were pretty paltry too, it never really cost me any lives. I blame this all on the enemy health system. I hope Sonic: Unleashed abandons this moronic way of playing so Sonic can get back to being a speedy game as opposed to a homing attack game. Also, before anyone complains about this…please note that I am only talking about regular enemies. Not boss enemies. It'd be just plain weird if a boss enemy always went down with one shot. I should also note that the Rush and Advance series don't seem to have a problem with this (from what I remember, at least), so this point doesn't apply to them at all.

- Just three more homing attacks and we're golden, Espio!

1-) Let me Play as Sonic - Let's say that you just bought the latest Zelda game. You're super excited to play this game, you get home, you pop in the game, you play it, and it's fucking great. You beat the very first dungeon and then all of a sudden you're forced to play the next two dungeons as the Happy Mask Salesman who has a completely different play style than Link. Wouldn't that kind of disappoint you? Well now you know what Sonic fans have been going through the past several years. Instead of letting you just play as Sonic to accomplish your goals, you must play as every single character to officially beat the game and play as Super Sonic. This wouldn't be so bad if everyone played like Sonic (like MGS 2 where Raiden plays just like Snake), because really…it's fun no matter who you are. Shadow levels in Sonic Adventure 2 were every bit as good as Sonic ones. The problem is, they offer you different playstyles and they are almost ALWAYS bad. Take a look at Sonic 2006. You have Sonic's game play which is alright, but hampered by several things. The running sections – where all you do is run and you dodge shit with the analog stick – are disastrous, but it's not the worst game ever. Sure, playing as Tails and Knuckles during these parts isn't necessary or wanted (due to them playing so weird), but Sonic is okay. So what now? You play as Shadow! He brings his moronic vehicular combat to the mix and combined with the glitches the game has, it becomes a bit of a hassle. Rouge and Omega play just like Tails and Knuckles in that they are just…bleagh. Silver offers a unique play style, but it grows old fast. If the three hedgehogs played closely enough to Sonic – while offering different levels instead of the same freaking ones for all three hedgehogs – and they got rid of some of those glitches, I truly believe Sonic 2006 wouldn't have been such a mess. I'd be lying to you if I said this problem developed with the most recent Sonic, though. No, save for Secret Rings and Sonic Heroes – where everyone plays alike anyhow – this has plagued Sonic all of his life in the third dimension. In Sonic Adventures 1 and 2 you had horrible emerald hunting quests, you had fucking fishing in Adventure 1, and some un-inspired mech play in Adventure 2. It's frustrating because when you look at the Sonic and Shadow levels in Adventure 2 and the Sonic and Tails levels in Adventure 1, you see a REALLY fun game, and if they had developed more levels in that ilk, people probably would have had a better time with the game. Don't get me wrong, having diversity in a game can be a good thing…but if you're not going to make it fun, don't bother making it at all. Sonic Team had gameplay as Sonic really fun in the first two adventure titles, but because they forced other gameplay styles on us…it just felt weird. And wrong. I bought SONIC Adventure. Not Play as everyone but Sonic the Hedgehog The Game. The most important thing that Sega needs to fix is that they need to realize that they are making Sonic titles. Once they figure that out, perhaps we can finally move forward.

- Sonic games need more Sonic? Who would have guessed that.

Before I leave, allow me to link you to some great stuff from around 411's gaming section.

Theo Fraser brings us the Nintendophiles. He does a great job with these every week and you should show him your love. One of the things he talks about is Nintendo not releasing an external hard drive for the wii. To be honest, to me…it makes me feel like Nintendo is insisting on not focusing on their old-school gamers, but on the casual market. This is great news for sales, bad news for gaming

Vincent Chiucchi inducts Captain Novolin into the hall of shame this week. This game is about a Dentist-themed Super Hero. Really.

Mark Salmela writes B3yond the Report. As always, he does a great, great job compiling all of the news. This week, among other things, he discusses his top-10 most anticipated PS3 titles. I can't really find any issues with what he's saying, even if I don't really like the God of War series. I'm kind of surprised one of his commentators got on his case about dissing the 360. Man, I've bashed the PS3 more than any console on this column (though all three current-gen consoles deserve smack talk) and I don't usually get shit for it. So weird.

Owain J. Brimfield brings us the wonder years and this week he inducts one of my personal favorite games ever, Herzog Zwei! This guy has been on my good list ever since he mentioned Earthbound in his Wonder Years Alphabetical list

Chris Vicari brings us a very good column this week based on strategy games that time has forgot. All I have to say is: FUCK YEAH, HOMEWORLD!

Chris Evans writes the PC-Centric extravaganza. He comments on the new Command and Conquer trailer – he thinks it looks pretty bad, which is sad considering I love that series. Give him a look why don'tcha!

Chris Scott writes the Red Snifit. This week he takes a visit to the pinball hall-of-fame. There are a lot of cool pictures in here, and it is most definitely worth a look.

The Curryman tells us which game franchises need to be taken out back and shot. Now personally, I disagree with the inclusion of Resident Evil and Final Fantasy, but the others I would be very happy to see taken out back and done away with. Especially Medal of Honor and Tony Hawk. There were a lot of people saying: "MARIO SHOULD BE THERE. Ugh.

Rod Oracheski pens Achievement Unlocked. Even though we go up on the same day and by the time you read this, there'll be a new column up…you still need to check this one out.

Joe Roche makes his triumphant return to the Full Circle this week. Make sure to read this and give him some huge props on graduating Law School. Pretty big accomplishment, I'm proud of ya', Joe! Hopefully I can attain that journalism degree some day, heh

Speaking of returns, Mike and AJ Minoti are back from vacation! You guys need to listen to what these have to say. Seriously funny stuff a lot of the time. One of the things they hit on this week was game controllability, as in…which ones controlled the best. If I had to be honest, the one time in a game I felt like I could do literally anything was Z.O.E 2. That's a weird choice, but I don't know…it was really, really easy to control and it felt like I was actually flying Jehuty

All around badass Mark Salmela gets mentioned again for his special column, Beyond the Sp3cial. He discusses Metal Gear Solid in this one. Next week he hits on MGS 2, so make sure you read these. They are seriously really great trips down memory road. Good job, Mark!

Wellll that's it for this week. As always, if you have any thoughts or comments feel free to send me an e-mail at [e-mail] or [e-mail]. Your choice. Or simply just leave a comment below. Also, sorry in advance to that Croagunk guy. I ran out of pictures of that pokemon, bah!

Til' the crossroads