The Red Snifit 05.27.08: AN ODE TO R.O.B.
Posted by Chris Scott on 05.27.2008
An ode to R.O.B...
Welcome to yet another episode of The Red Snifit. I'm your host, sober and all, Chris Scott. Memorial Day was yesterday; a time where we think of all the brave men and women who paid the ultimate price for keeping the good ol' US of A as the freedom loving nation we've come to know and love to live in. Today, I take a look at an awkward gaming peripheral that despite it's lack of importantance when it comes to video games, helped shape gaming into what we come to enjoy today. It's time for
OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION: AN ODE TO R.O.B.
We begin our little literary doohickey in 1983, when the big "Video Game Crash" took place. With the market being flooded with mediocre and just plain bad games, the general public decided that the video game fad that enjoyed success of epic proportions just years before was over. Gaming consoles were no longer leaving the store shelves and new systems found it difficult to even get retailers to put their product up for sale. Although the arcades were still doing alright (at least compared to arcades now) and PC gaming was truckin' along, console gaming was left for dead.
Fast forward to 1985. A little known Japanese company called Nintendo was waiting patiently for the right time to release the Famicom, the Japanese version of the NES released in 1983, to the states. With console gaming being nearly non-existent, Nintendo saw a chance to take over the whole market. Just one problem. Retailers weren't buying into the Famicom. Even after redesigning it into the familiar gray box we've come to know and love and renaming it the Nintendo Entertainment System, they still had a hard time getting it onto store shelves. It wasn't until Nintendo unveiled the Robotic Operating Buddy that retailers started to take notice.
The Robotic Operating Buddy, or R.O.B., showed retailers that perhaps the NES was different from what they perceived a gaming console to be. Without R.O.B., it was just another gaming console, which once again, weren't selling. Adding R.O.B. brought something new to the imagination. A gaming system that allows you to play with a robot? Now THAT was something retailers could sell! In their minds, the NES wasn't another piece of gaming hardware, it was a toy. Before you knew it, Nintendo got the NES on store shelves and became the US gaming console market. They practically had a license to print money.
But what about the R.O.B.? After his presence got the NES to the dance, only 2 games were made to be compatible with it (Gyromite and Stack-Up), and they both sucked. The R.O.B. moved at the speed of snails, and when you have a slowpoke being your assistant in a video game, it's a recipe for failure. It was hard to set up, noisy, and didn't really add much to gaming altogether, yet without him, who knows if console games would have been able to bounce back from the depths of hell it found itself in during the crash. R.O.B. was a pawn to get the NES available, quality games such as Super Mario Bros. took over from there.
But where does that leave the legacy of R.O.B.? Despite being one of the worst gaming peripherals on the NES (and boy there were a lot of them), Nintendo, in a way, has paid tribute to their Robotic Operating Buddy. In 1997, R.O.B. was introduced as the robotic pilot of Great Fox in Starfox 64 and has become a fixture in the Starfox series ever since. Recently, R.O.B. has also been feature as a secret character in Mario Kart DS and Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Also, if you look in the background in one of the tracks in F-Zero GX (a damn fine game!), you'll see a giant R.O.B. sitting in the center of the track.
Thanks R.O.B., just never EVER become a peripheral again!
With out educational portion of the column complete, it's time to cowboy up as we drift off into the sunset towards…….
THE VIRTUAL CONSOLE CORRAL!
City Connection (NES, 500 Points)
Nintendo says:
Based on the arcade hit, a young man born in California sets out to tour famous sites and cities around the world. As he drives the highways surrounding these locations, the road is painted white as proof of his visit. Only once all sections of the road have been painted will he move on to the next location in his world tour. Not surprisingly, the local police will chase the driver and do their best to stop him from completing his goal. In addition, cats roam the highways and spikes lie in wait for unsuspecting drivers. To combat these dangers, the driver's customized car can jump, fire cans of oil and collect balloons to warp to a new stage. It's the ultimate road trip.
Nintendo MEANS to say:
City Connection is a game where you vandalize city property and avoid the cops. It's just like real life! Shoot oil cans at the Men in Blue and watch the patrol cars spin! Fun for the whole family!
Hit or Miss: Miss. Nothing about this game really jumps out as anything unique. The music is repetitive, the action is a little on the slow side, and I'd rather play Bump n' Jump or RC Racer Pro Am.
Metal Slug (Neo-Geo, 900 Points)
Nintendo says:
Released in 1996 by SNK, Metal Slug is a side-scrolling military-action game. Players control Marco and Tarma, both members of the special-ops force Team Peregrine Falcon (commonly known as Team PF), and battle their way through stage after stage of intense action. The goal is to try to overthrow General Morden and win back the stolen weapon, the Metal Slug. Players must blast through waves of enemies and machines (while also jumping over any obstacles in the way) to advance through the stages. It's not as hopeless as it might sound, though—weapons such as heavy machine guns, shotguns, rocket launchers and flamethrowers, as well as the Metal Slug itself (which appears frequently in the game), will make the battle easier. Take on General Morden with a friend to lighten your load and ramp up the excitement even more.
Nintendo MEANS to say:
You Americans like to run n' gun, right? Well, Metal Slug combines smooth cartoon-like visuals with Contra-style fast paced action! With so many bullets and explosions going on in this game, you'll find it hard to put down!
Hit or Miss: Hit. If you didn't already pony up the $20 for Metal Slag Anthology, I suggest picking this one up. It's fast, fun, and the animation style makes it unique!
Already, you young bucks! Pack everything up because it's time to head out to……..
THE WIIWARE RANCH!
There are this week's offerings:
Dr. Mario Online Rx (1,000 Points): The doctor is in! Mario takes a break from his adventuring ways and once again dons his stethoscope for a new generation of germ-battling mayhem. In addition to the classic mode of using vitamins to exterminate viruses, you'll find two battle modes and an online multiplayer mode where you can hone your skills against players from around the world. Feel like challenging a friend who doesn't have Dr. Mario Online Rx? Then the WiiWare-exclusive Friend Battle Demo is just what the doctor ordered. Or maybe you'd like some help taking on those nasty viruses? Try out Virus Buster, where four players can simultaneously move capsules simply by pointing at them with a Wii Remote controller. Any way you look at it, Dr. Mario Online Rx is a prescription for fun that everyone can enjoy
Family Table Tennis (500 Wii Points): It's time for some good old family fun, and what's more fun than table tennis? Just like a real family, choose your character from a cast of four, which includes Daddy, Mommy, Sarah and Billy. There are four table tennis-tastic stages where it doesn't matter if you're an indoors or outdoors table-tennis player. Pick your poison from a gymnasium, a forest park, a beach or even an amusement park. Choose from Single or Versus mode, or select a minigame to play. In Versus mode, you and a friend can play against each other to see who is the better table-tennis player. And if Single and Versus modes aren't enough, select between three minigames, which include Target Table Tennis, Thrilling Table Tennis and Matching Table Tennis. The appealing cell-shaded graphics and endearing music, on top of the super-fun game play, will have you and your family playing from morning till night. Get your paddles ready.
The game to pick up this week is Dr. Mario Online Rx, and IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME NINTENDO FINALLY PUT IT OUT, TOO! Familiar puzzle game with online battles and Virus Buster mode to utilize motion control; what's not to love? Family Table Tennis, on the other hand, looks like a waste of precious Wii storage. I mean, the wii does come with Wii Sports, so who pay anything to only end up with a clone of Wii Sports' Tennis? At least they're only asking for $5, but it's still pointless if you ask me.
And that will conclude this week's episode of The Red Snifit. I'm Chris Scott, and I'm still waiting for Earthbound on VC!
