Working Title 6.12.08: The Workies Halftime Award Nominations

Posted by Jordan Williams on 06.12.2008

It's the halfway point of the year and it's time to break the norm and dish out some awards. We actually had a lot of blockbuster games early in the year and to make sure they don't get lost in the shuffle, I'm doing a Workies Halftime Awards...

Welcome back to the #1 Column to think Kung Fu Panda is going to be better than Wall-E, WORKING TITLE. Last week marked the return to fulltime work here as I took everyone on a second Rant Omnibus, and the response was varied but still good. This week I'm going to look at something that will probably take effect later this year, but it was a fun idea someone gave to me and I decided to just to run with it.

Someone noticed that the 'year-end' awards for video games always tend to take place at the end of the year...because that makes sense. But he noticed you never really see awards that take place in the middle of the year, and sometimes that leads to great games that came out at the beginning of the year getting lost in the shuffle to the blockbusters that game out in the fall. So I decided that today I will remedy that situation a bit with The Workies: Halftime Report. Seeing as it's the 6th month of the year I figure it's setting to go ahead and dish out a few awards for what we have seen so far this year, and the couple them with the second half of the year so no one else forgets they existed.

It also helps because if you think about, with the year half over we already got some pretty heavy hitters already out, and later in the year we are looking at some potential killer-apps. Let's get this started.

The Workies: Halftime Awards - Nominations

Now, let me get one thing out of the way. Note that these are just some of the people SO FAR, they might not necessarily be in the running at the end of the year. It all depends. But as always feel free to use the comments at the bottom of the screen (especially because you can like...vote there) to voice you opinions. Even when you are picking on me or insulting the column I still like seeing feedback. Also, the sad death of my DS means that I really haven't gotten a chance to get my hand on ANY handheld games since Crystal Chronicles: Ring of Fates. So the noms are going to be pretty barren in regards to handhelds.

...That doesn't mean every comment has to be an insult though.

Anyway, let's get this started with some of the character awards.


King Leonidas Award for Manliness

This is an award that is given to a videogame character that just exudes manly awesome. They don't necessarily have to be a man, but these are characters that tend to blow up a lot of shit, bang a lot of broads, and in general just make you go "Man, I wish I were them." Last year's winner was Master Chief of Halo fame, but so far this year he has been absent from the list, thus his spot might be taken by one of these people.

Brucie Kibbutz (Grand Theft Auto 4)
ALPHA MALE, BABY. Really, when you look at the list of characters in GTA4, how can you NOT look at Brucie and see the pure MANLINESS that is him? He's a winner man...a FUCKIN' winner. Sure, he can be a bit annoying with his constant need for attention, but the guy is swimming with bull shark DNA and owns a helicopter. What's not to like?

Clyde (Army of Two)
Fuck-o. This man is single-handedly responsible for putting this word into my vocabulary. I think I must've called people Fuck-O about 13 times this week alone. Sure, it would've been easy to give it to Tyson or Salem, but they never shoved a guy through a cement wall and gouged a man's eyes out with their thumbs. Nor did they survive a plane crash caused by a grenade going off at point blank range.
...Fuck-os.

Jansen Friedh (Lost Odyssey)
Lost Odyssey got a lot of mixed reactions, I actually liked it and Jansen is one of the reasons why. If you can look passed his dorky clothes and the fact that he's the magic user you will see that he's AWESOME. He spends the first hour of the game drunk, ands up banging a hot immortal chick, and on top of all of that seems to have the best fucking lines in an RPG since Tellah. You don't have to cause a lot of damage to be manly man...you just need to land a chick with Triple E boobs who has been alive long enough to know shit in the sack you've never HEARD of.

R.O.B (Super Smash Brothers Brawl)
If you've played Brawl, you hate him...even if you haven't played Brawl you still hate him. Why exactly is R.O.B manly? Well for starters he isn't even a man. He could just kill at will without remorse and you could do nothing to stop him. R.O.B WILL destroy all you know and care about...and the only thing you can do about it is pray he doesn't get a Smash Ball.

Packie McReary (Grand Theft Auto 4)
First there was Brucie, and then there was Packie. If there was someone I would've liked to have been the main character more than Mr. Bellic, I think it would've been Packie. He snorts coke, fucks hookers, shoots people, blows up shit, gets drunk, steals cars, buys guns, robs banks, assassinates people and on top of all of that...he's Irish. Yeah, I think he's manly enough.



Game Mechanic/Character That Can Die in A Fire

And we go from the badass to the lameass. This spot is reserved for the characters of game mechanic that I think should just be abolished from the history of vidya. Last year's 'winner' was the Informant Missions from Assassin's Creed. This year I haven't seen many bad game mechanics, but man there are characters here to spare for DAYS.

Roman Bellic (GTA4)
Yeah, I know this is a little bit GTA Heavy, but with it so far being the biggest game of the year it only seems fitting that it dips it hand into every pot around. With that said...FUCK do I hate Roman. If it doesn't help that he is easily the most annoying character in the game next to Carmen Ortiz, it's the fact that every waking moment he wants to hang out with you at the most inopportune moments. He might have his flashes of brilliance, but he's just too much of a royal fuck up to NOT die in a fire.

Nintendo Wi-Fi
Now don't get me wrong, it's not that this should die in a fire because I hate it. It should die in a fire just so Nintendo can realize this is NOT working the way they wanted to and try it again the right way. I know last year I kept bitching at Nintendo to get online, but it's really disheartening when you get such a half ass attempt like this. Maybe this will change...but then again maybe they'll get a hard drive as well.

Lucario (SSBB)
Oh Lucario, how I hate you so. You replaced Mewtwo...a character I was actually GOOD with and you continue to make my life a living hell. Maybe I should just go ahead and END you...but NO! As I try to end you all you do is get stronger and eventually end ME. What the hell!? This is why we can't have nice things...fucking Pokemon come and fuck it all up for everyone.

Other
Ah yes, the dreaded "other". Just like last year I'm going to stick this into places where I don't really think there's enough representation. Odds are, you've all collectively have played more videogames than I have, thus you have more knowledge of characters and game mechanics than I do. With that said, who deserved to get immolated?


Insert Nominee Here

The "This Is Not Going to End Well" Award
Let's just keep the negativity ball rollin', since this is just a halftime report we can actually speculate on some things. We of course know what big games are going to come this year, but what about those potential stinkers or bad ideas we just see looming in the distance. When you see a stinker from a mile away, you can at least get out of the way of the smell.

Street Fighter IV
Man, I really want to get into this game, but the more I see the more it looks like it's just trying too hard to recapture the magic that had been lost long ago. I have no doubts that I'll probably play this game and like it, but looking at it right now I'm just not completely sold on it. I don't think I'll be walking away from this with that same awesome feeling that I walked away from Street Fighter II and Street Fighter III with.

Guitar Hero Series
I'm not a giant fan of Guitar Hero, but I'm not a complete GH hater either. However it's getting really hard to look at this series in the same light after Rock Band. It just seems like this series just isn't going to stack up to Rock Band in terms of greatness and songs anymore. Couple that with the fact that it almost looks like desperation with all of these different flavors of Guitar Hero such as GH: On Tour and GH: Aerosmith. It just looks like this game is going to be remembered as the game that inspired Rock Band rather than the game that can still hang with it.

Nintendo Wii
STOP. STOP THE HATE MAIL RIGHT THERE. I am not saying the Wii is DOOMED, but I'm just saying right now it looks like it might just fall dormant this year. In a year where we have MGS4, Ninja Gaiden 2, Gears of War 2, Fable 2, Saints Row 2, and pretty much ever other sequel you can think of it seems like the Wii blew it's load a bit too early. Sure, SSBB was supposed to come out LAST year, but it came out this year and pretty early into the race, too. Ditto for Mario Kart Wii. Now I admit that I haven't followed Nintendo news as much as I should've, but outside of games like MadWorld and MAYBE WiiSki. It doesn't look like the Wii is going to have any titles that can hang with the blockbusters that are going to drop later this year.

TNA Impact!
Odds are if you are at this site, then you care about this game at least a little bit. It's been a long time since there was a wrestling game made for a next-gen console that didn't have WWE stamped on it. In fact it's almost been too long. It's always a good thing to have competition in video games because it forces the games to get better in order to compete with the other (Look at the impending GTA4 vs. Saints Row 2 war for proof) but it doesn't look like TNA is going to be able to inspire such venom. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad TNA is finally making a video game but right now it just doesn't look as good as I think they hope for it. From what I've read it seems like the animations and moves or a bit stiff as well as the button layout being a bit on the lame side. I'm sure this game might put TNA in the minds or more people, but I don't think it's going to do Smackdown vs. RAW what Skate did to Tony Hawk. It's a damn shame, too...SvR NEEDS a wake-up call.


The Dorm room Dominator Award
Now this is a returning award from last year, it's for those games that you KNOW are just being played in any dorm room(term is used loosely) in the world. Be it via XBL or PSN or actual old skool split screen action. These are the games that are just clocking up some MAD Multiplayer hours. It's a bit of a slim offering so early into the year, but with Metal Gear Solid 4 and the XBL killer that will be Gears of War 2. I'm sure we'll see this flesh out a bit in 6 months.


SSBB
If I didn't put this game here, I'm pretty sure I would get my kneecaps broken. SSBB dropped and the Wii Universe exploded in a fit of smash balls, pokemon, tournaments(boo.) and online play. Given that the Wii's online offerings are still a bit weak, it doesn't change the fact that the games local multiplayer is still top notch. It might not be rated M or have a ton of blood and guts, but it's a tried and true winner when it comes to multiplayer gaming and with the way it's been going so far. I won't be surprised if they are playing this one for 10 years from now, too.

GTA4
Personally, I still like Saints Row's online play over GTA4's play but it doesn't change the fact that for at least a little while GTA4 was the #1 played game on XBL and had a lot of players on PSN when available. Its player rate has dropped a bit now that the shine is gone and everyone is ready for something new. But even though they might not be playing this one online, I am sure there's still a crowd of guys hovering around a TV taking turns wreaking havoc and seeing how long they can evade the police while going on a murderous rampage. While that's always fun to watch, I don't know how well GTA4 will hold up against this year's later releases.

Mario Kart Wii
There are very few things you bet against. You never bet against Triple H, you never bet against Final Fantasy, you never bet against Pixar(except for Wall-E) and you never bet against Mario Kart. This installment of the series got a few hiccups with its Whiil and the drastic change to the battle mode. But it's still a beloved part of the franchise and it's actually rolling pretty well. As I said above, the Wii might've blown its load early in the year, but at least they gave us gems like SSBB and Mario Kart Wii to let us know that they weren't completely silent.

Other
Ah yes, the dreaded "other". Just like last year I'm going to stick this into places where I don't really think there's enough representation. I'm not that big of an online player and opt to stick to games that have split screen. But I know some of you out there are and I'd love to hear what you think of the year so far when it comes to multiplayer games.

The Duke Nukem Award for Procrastination
If there is one thing we have become accustomed to in the land of viyda, it's that games seem to ALWAYS get delayed. It's almost second nature, if a big name game is coming up it's almost a guarantee that the original release date is going to get pushed back. It's already happened to a few of the games that we've talked about today. But looking at some of these games that are going to come out later this year, which one do you think is going to get delayed much to your dismay?


Gears of War 2
Last year it was Halo 3, and this year it seems to be Gears of War 2. I wasn't the biggest fan of the first one but I will recognize the pull it has when it comes to the Xbox 360 owners. Being able to dethrone Halo 2 as the most played game on Xbox Live isn't exactly an easy task. This game seems to be doing everything right and looks like it's primed to be the shot in the arm that Microsoft will need late in the year, which usually means that it might end up getting delayed.

Mercenaries 2: World in Flames
If this award was around last year, this game would've won it then too. This game, to my knowledge, was supposed to come out this time LAST year but for whatever reason it just keeps getting delayed and delayed. The first game didn't sell too well but was a great sleeper hit for those who tried it, hopefully this game won't be plagued by any more delays that could turn it into the best game that was never released this generation.

Fable 2
Fable, while a bit underwhelming to some, ended up being a solid little game. It actually looks like Fable 2 might make good on the promises that Fable 1 made. Possible online play, better environment and family ties? It all sounds too good to be true and just might be too good to show up this year.

Spore
I don't show PC a lot of love because my PC is so old that it has trouble playing The Sims 2. Either way, I know a lot of people who are into those sorts of games have been chomping at the bit for Spore. It's been pushed every single friggin' direction BUT forward. I don't think many fans will hold out too much longer or this game if it gets delayed.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
The hype machine for this game is rolling BIG TIME. There hasn't been a good/great/average Star Wars game for console since Battlefront II and a lot of the fans are aching for ANYTHING Star Wars at this point. Hell, it even has Darth Vader being...Darth Vader. The sad thing is with a fan base that is so fickle and ready to jump off at the handle for whatever reason. I really can't see them taking the news of it being delayed too well if it ever happens.

Workaholics Halftime Game of the Year...So Far

Yeah, it seems kind of odd giving out a game of the year award when the year isn't done. But it just seems wrong NOT to go ahead and give props to the best game to come out so far this year. Who knows, maybe the game you all choose here will go on to win at the end of the year, too. Who knows?

Just go ahead and email me or post a comment on what game and why and you'll see it here next week.

Normally, I'd give my choices for a GOTY(so far), but I'm actually much more interested in what you all have to say rather than what I have to say. So make sure to use the comments section or email. Better yet, does it or I won't be forced to kill this cute and cuddly baby otter.



Do you want its blood on your hands? I don't think so.

Working Feedback


Re: Legend of Zelda. According to some game timelines that certain internet nerds have come up with, Zelda II for the NES is the last game chronologically. The story of that game involves freeing the original Princess Zelda from a magic sleep that she's been in for thousands of years. When she was put to sleep originally, the king declared that all the princesses after that would be named Zelda.

While I'm sure they didn't plan it this way, if the ultimate chapter of the games involves freeing a princess named Zelda who's been under a magic spell for the entire duration of the series (not to mention the fact that the story of the sleeping princess could be considered a legend to the people in Hyrule), it seems like a pretty reasonable title.

The other thing is, they couldn't call it the Legend of Link, because you just put whatever you want for his name. The Legend of [insert
name here] isn't as catchy. ~ Hawkeye

For being the only person to actually have a good answer to this (I had more, but holy hell they are vulgar). You get 50% off your next purchase of butter at your local supermarket.

I understand that you can change the name of Link in every game, but I think that shouldn't hold them back from naming the games "The Legend of Link" or whatever. You could change the names of the characters in some of the Final Fantasy games, but everyone still knows Cecil is Cecil and Kain is Kain, regardless if you named them Dick and Fart.

Hollick looks like the result of an Orgy between Seth Rogen, David Hasselhoff, and Chris Sarandon of Fright Night. I thought they used Hollick for the MoCap work as well, but I guess not. Welcome back Jordan. ~ Toddo

Truer words have never been spoken. Thanks for the welcome.

You think Street Fighter IV looks bad? The art style and the name alone have sold me on this game. ~ Guest#6858 a.k.a "Mr. Puddles"

I'm not sure I'm on board with the graphics, but there are just a lot of other things about Street Fighter IV that are just putting a bad taste in my mouth. The art style is something I like and hate at the same time. It took the already cartoony characters (which looked fine in 2D) and turned them into really weird looking bulgy eyed freaks. That's easy to get over, though. What I can't get over though is the feeling that all of this work is going to end up being for nothing. As much as we all wanted a Street Fighter IV, it just seems like it's been too long for most people to really care and the ones who really DO care are either a small minority or die-hard fans. Like I said earlier, it just looks like they are trying too hard to recapture the greatness they had with II and III rather than make the full fledged sequel we've been waiting for (the fact that they went right back to SFII for inspiration and characters backs this up.).


Gaming's Unsolved Mysteries

Case File #6: Inhale...Exhale...
Subject: First Person Shooters

Question: How in the hell does hiding in cover and taking a few deep breaths cure gunshot wounds?

In another fit of "How does that cure..." we are not looking at the first person shooters who employ a personal pet peeve of mine. The Inhale Exhale Healing technique. Those who are not aware of this might not understand what I am talking about. So I will go ahead and explain it here. Basically the technique involves cowering like a simpering pussy behind cover after being riddled with bullets. Apparently taking a few deep breaths is all it takes to get these wounds to magically heal over and be fine again.

Yup.

First we had people being healed inexplicably by plants. Then good...now...breathing.

How in the hell does this work, let alone become a staple in gameplay? The answer has been right in front of our faces the whole time...

Answer: Green Herbs grow EVERYWHERE.

Remember way back when we discovered the secrets of the green herb? We found out they grow EVERYWHERE. Cities, villages, hills, buildings, it doesn't matter. They release that sweet sweet healing oxygen into the world like normal plants do. This healing air heals the poor victim's wounds after a few deep breaths, this allows them to get back up and get shot all over again, never dying unless the screen turns completely red.

...Or, they could be taking that time to roll one up and smoke a fatty like they do in Resident Evil. I'm pretty sure if I had to deal with the shit Marcus Fenix and Soap McTavish dealt with I'd probably be sparkin' one up, too.

Working Question

So, I've heard about the wonderful lameness that is Xbox Live Gold's Demo Policy. It pretty much just amounts to "PAY US TO PLAY THESE DEMOS FASTER". I never really had a problem with it until last week when I heard the Ninja Gaiden II demo was finally out. So I go over to download and I get hit by the STUPID RED CIRCLE that just ruins my day. Even after this lameness I really didn't care that much, but I know there is a very vocal majority out there that has a really bad problem with this. What do YOU think?

What do you think about the differences between the Xbox Live Gold and Silver accounts(Earlier Demos, Online Play, etc etc). I know personally I'd LOVE to be able to play online with some restrictions even on a silver account, maybe a lack of leader boards or the ability to get multiplayer achievements will do.

Well, that's a wrap for this week folks. Until next time, I'm Jordan Williams and THE LUNAR STAFF IN NINJA GAIDEN IS FUCKING BALLS-AWESOME