The Hall of Shame 06.25.08: The Top Ten Stupidest and Craziest Things Jack Thompson Has Said or Done, Part 2

Posted by Vincent Chiucchi on 06.25.2008

We continue from last week's column by listing the Top 5 stupidest things he's done. One look at this list and it's no wonder the Florida Bar wants him gone.

With Jack Thompson's law career likely to come to an end, I decided to list the ten stupidest and craziest things Jack Thompson has said or done. Last week I mentioned items 10 through 6, which included his letter to the Take-Two Chairman's mom, his hypocrisy on insulting people, racial bashing of Islam, pretending to be Batman, and showing off how he's a bad parent. This week we count down the Top 5, which I really feel show what kind of a person Jack Thompson is.

5. Chasing ambulances, jumping bandwagons – If there's a young adult murdering people, Jack Thompson will be there!


The real killer of Virgina Tech?

When I came home from school and turned on the TV to learn about the Virginia Tech massacre, one of the first thoughts that came to me was "How long until video games are blamed for this?" It probably shouldn't have been that, but considering Jack Thompson and other media pundits have done this so many times, it now basically becomes a common question. Ever since Doom was linked to the Columbine Shooters, video games have become a prime suspect in causing them, mostly because idiots like Thompson don't bother with trying to know the actual truth. Speaking as a person who's been bullied a lot in school, I blame school faculties for their "there's nothing we can do" mentality until someone actually dies. But that's a debate for another column on another website.

As for Virginia Tech, it didn't take Thompson long (about 3:00PM if I'm not mistaken) to appear on Fox News (surprised?) to talk about how this was caused by someone playing too much games. Then out of nowhere, the Washington Post posted a story about how the kid played Counter-Strike a lot, only to remove it sometime later. Once the shooter was actually identified as Seung-Hui Cho, we learned more about how much of a disturbing person he was. It also turned out he didn't really play video games at all. This proof was backed up when his suite-mate claimed he never saw Cho play video games, and a search warrant turned up no video games or consoles at all. That of course never stopped Thompson from saying stupid crap like "This is not rocket science. When a kid who has never killed anyone in his life goes on a rampage and looks like the Terminator, he's a video gamer." Months later, he STILL blames Virginia Tech on video games.

Here's a list of other things he blamed on video games:

The Beltway Sniper Attacks – In October 2002, ten people were killed by snipers in the Maryland and Virginia area, with three others (including a 13-year-old kid) being critically injured. It was a very frieghtening time for people in that area considering these attacks would basically happen out of nowhere at any location. Information about the snipers were scarce, but Jack Thompson had his only theory:

"...a teenaged boy, who plays video games...may indeed ride a bicycle to and from his shooting locations, his gun broken down and placed in a backpack while he pedals."

It turned out one of the snipers was a teenager, Lee Boyd Malvo. He was helping his father, who was once in the army and was qualified as an "expert" with the M16, the Army's standard infantry rifle, and praised Osama bin-Laden. Funny how Thompson never seems to mention these as possibly connections to how Malvo was trained to kill.

The Jacob Robida Murders - Jacob Robida was a Massachusetts teenager who attacked several people at a gay bar, fled the state, then murdered a police officer, his girlfriend, and then himself. Robida's main interests according to his MySpace was Neo-Nazism and the rap group Insane Clown Posse. But not even the power of Neo-Nazism can stop Thompson from blaming video games!

I couldn't find his exact quote, but he went on to say that Robida's bar attack against gay people was a killing scenario from Postal 2, and the "suicide by cop homicide" was from Grand Theft Auto. Later when no video games were found in Robida's apartment, Thompson claims that had "nothing dispositive to say about whether he played games," and said that Robida ditched the games somewhere and bashed the DA for not finding them. Considering Robida didn't delete his MySpace, or get rid of all his Nazi paraphenelia in his room, it's unlikely he would try to hide video games.

The NIU Shooting – This year we had a school shooting in Illonois that left five dead. The shooter was a 27-year-old named Steven Phillip Kazmierczak, who had graduated from NIU. Steven seemed to be a normal person with no issues, until it turned out that weeks before the shooting, he had stopped taken medication prescribed to him by a psychiatrist. Nothing about video games was ever mentioned. Well, until Jack Thompson tried to sue the school.

This is from the letter he sent to NIU about a possible video games connection:

Pursuant to the Illinois Freedom of Information Act, I hereby request production of copies of all documents that reveal Steven Kazmierczak's play of violent video games, including but not limited to the use of his computer to play Counter-Strike, which he apparently, according to the New York Post, used to rehearse for his Valentine's Day Massacre at NIU...The killers in the two worst school massacres in history—in Erfurt, Germany, and at Virginia Tech University—similarly trained on Counter-Strike to rehearse for their killing sprees...If I am not provided with this information, I shall bring a civil action  to secure these documents.

Once again, this is a guy who writes a book called "Out of Harm's Way" and he's threatening a school which just saw five of it's people die with a LAWSUIT! That's like chasing an ambulance and threatening to slash it's tires.

There's a lot more cases like this with Thompson, but I'm going to stop here I throw up in disgust.

4. The Sims 2 trains Pedophiles- How would he know exactly?


Hi Thompson, it's me again. Can I have another word with you?

Based on what we've seen so far, Thompson would only go up against M-rated games for how they're corrupting our children. But it turns out that Thompson will even take on games that don't have any sort of controversy until he decides that it should, such as the time he attacked EA over supposed nude content in The Sims 2.

Descending from the popular Sim City games, The Sims has become the biggest franchise in PC gaming with more expansions packs then any other PC game out there. But besides the expansion packs, there are custom mods that allow to do much more. One of those mods just happen to be where you can get rid of the blur that censors the Sims when they appear nude, even for children. However, even when the blur is removed, the Sims don't have any anatomical features, so they're basically like Barbie dolls. And if you somehow get turned on by naked dolls...actually, never mind, because you're probably not reading this article anyway.

Of course, because these mods are user-created, EA doesn't have much power to stop them. That doesn't stop Jack Thompson from accusing EA of cooperating with the mod community to turn the game into a porn offering. Thompson claims that The Sims 2 contains "full frontal nudity, including nipples, penises, labia, and pubic hair," and claims users can easily access this with a simple code on the internet. Since this also works on the children, Thompson says the game is "much to the delight, one can be sure, of pedophiles around the globe who can rehearse, in virtual reality, for their abuse." Jeff Brown of EA points out how they're not actually nude since they don't have any genitals, but that's not good enough for Thompson, who goes on to say that the nudity in The Sims 2 makes it even worse than Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

The number of stupid comments Thompson makes in this case is almost mind boggling. First of all, unless there really is a mod that lets you see Sims genitalia, this is about as false as the whole Mass Effect nudity scandal (where ironically Jack Thompson defended Mass Effect. Bizarre). Secondly, helping pedophiles rehearse their abuse? I really don't think pedophiles need a video game that has fake nudity to help them try to molest children, and besides, how exactly can you use The Sims 2 to do that? Does Thompson know something that he doesn't want to admit? Third, he's attacking EA for purposely trying to distribute porn. Not just for having them "nude" in the first place, but purposely working with the mod community to create realistic looking porn. Now even though EA is considered the "evil empire," I'm pretty sure they aren't THAT evil! But finally, he thinks this is worse than GTA: SA. While that game also contained nudity, it was hidden by Rockstar and they denied actually making the mod until it was discovered on the PS2. EA is not trying to hide the fact that the Sims are "nude" and that it's been like that since the original game in 2000.

Sometimes it's like Thompson doesn't even bother trying to sound logical.

3. Adult Supervision Required – Florida bar no longer accepts his evidence without others permission.


Gay porn and children's books: Two things you shouldn't file in court.

You can actually learn quite a bit about how the law works and doesn't work when you do research on Jack Thompson. For example, I learned that when you submit evidence for a trial, it can be publicly viewed by anyone, as I learned from his case against Norm Kent, a gay rights defense attorney who founded the National Gay News website. This is one of the few cases these days with Jack that have nothing to do with video games but still prove how stupid he seems.

Thompson criticized the Florida bar for conspiring with Norm Kent for the past twenty years or so to make Thompson's life miserable. In his latest lawsuit against Kent, Thompson claims that the National Gay News website was purposely distributing hardcore porn to people of all ages, and in order to prove this, he filed pictures of gay men having sex to the judge. Judge Adalberto Jordan of course was not amused when receiving this evidence, and ordered Thompson to justify his actions or face sanctions. Thompson of course said the usual stuff that in no way helped him out at all. As for the gay porn itself, it didn't come from the NGN website, but rather from other porn sites listed under the site's adult section.

But you know what the best part about all this is? This isn't the first time he's filed gay porn as evidence! While I don't know the case in which he did this, according to the Florida Supreme Court Case Docket, he filed gay porn as evidence back in April 2007 and was warned that he would ever do something like that again, the court would consider imposing sanctions on Thompson. Thompson apparently forgot about all this, because he was bragging about how he wasn't the one in trouble and that he referred to himself as Paul Revere. In the end the order was thrown out as Thompson promised to no longer file porn, but he problems with filing evidence continued.

In December 2007, he would file a document he called the "Children's Picture Book for Adults", which contained pictures along with his argument because he believed the court couldn't comprehend what he was trying to say. Pictures in the document included swastikas, kangaroos as judges, movie posters, celebrities, monkeys doing the see no evil poses, and a squirrel committing a mugging which for some reason I can not help but laugh. The Florida Supreme Court did not like Thompson's antics and in February 2008 he was ordered to once again explain why he shouldn't be sanctioned in filing evidence. He called these warnings the greatest gift he's ever received as it will help him deconstruct The Florida Bar.

Unfortunately for Thompson, the Florida Bar ordered that he could no longer file evidence without the signed approval of another member of the Florida Bar. Thompson was pissed of course, but none of this will actually matter anymore, considering Thompson will no longer be a lawyer anyway.

2. A Modest Video Game Proposal - Proves the kind of crap this guy does


If Jack Thompson ever promises you money, ignore him.

Although there are many occasions that can prove just how much of a buffoon Jack Thompson is (for example, items number 10 through 3), all you really need for evidence is his Modest Video Game Proposal. See, Thompson dared any company in the video game industry to create, manufacture, distribute, and sell a video game in 2006 based on his idea and if they did, he would donate $10,000 to any charity of Take Two's chairman Paul Eibeler's choosing.

Here's the scenario Thompson had in mind: The main character, Osaki Kim, is a father to a high school boy who gets beaten to death by a 14-year-old gamer because the gamer played a video game about killing people with bats. The 14-year-old gets sentenced to life in prison, but Osaki Kim swears vengeance against the video game industry for creating the game the murderer trained on, decides to get weapons, especially baseball bats, and sets off to go on a murderous rampage. First he kills CEO of "Take-This" Paula Eibel along with her family. After their deaths, he then kills Take-This lawyers "Blank, Stare" and destroys high-tech arcades called "GameWerks." Finally, he goes to E3 to kill all video game industry execs in "one final, monstrously delicious rampage". Along the way he steals items from major retailers such as Best Buy and yells that the clerks should've checked kids IDs.

Naturally, such an absurd concept for a video game was not in the interest of big name companies. But absurd concepts were perfectly natural for independent game developers, and two games were made based on the proposal.

The first was created by Fighting Hellfish (named after an episode of The Simpsons) which was actually released a week before Thompson's Proposal, but still contains the kind of violence that Thompson would have loved to see. The game, "Defamation of Character: A Jack Thompson Murder Simulator", was a mod for Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, where players take control of a hypnotized Thompson who at night goes by the name Banman and ride the streets in his "Bannedwagon" to fight the evils of the video game industry, lesbians led by Janet Reno, 2 Live Crew, and also tries to assassinate ESA President Doug Lowenstein. Powers in the game included Legal Immunity where Thompson can never be effected by law, and Holy Escort which calls for help from a higher power. Because this game was not released in 2006 and because the proposal was only satire (or not, depending on what day it was), Thompson did not donate any money.

The next game however was surely going to pass his proposal. A company called Thompsonsoft, consisting of "three alcoholics and a foreign exchange student," created a game much like Thompson asked for. It was called "I'm O.K: A Murder Simulator," and is available for free. The story and game ideas follow exactly what Thompson wanted: Osaki kills Paula Eibel and her family then pees on their brains, gets power ups from retail stores, kills the people at Blank Stare, GameWerks, and E3. The gameplay looks and feels pretty much like Metal Slug, plus contains many allusions and cheat codes from several popular games. I'm O.K became a very popular download title, but Thompson decided it came nowhere close to it's proposal and actually threatened the creators of this game with legal action.

So in the end, Thompson never donated any money to charity, and when asked about why he didn't follow up on his promises, he'll just keep making up excuses. But mostly, he says all of his proposal was satire.

Seeing how Thompson wouldn't be giving any money, in came Penny Arcade and Child's Play creators Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. They wrote a $10,000 check to the The Entertainment Software Association Foundation and signed it with "For Jack Thompson Because Jack Thompson Won't". Thompson saw this as harassment and decided to sue them, along with contacting the police about being harassed. He claimed in the letter he was being harassed because of how he went on 60 Minutes to explain how Devin Moore killed cops by training on Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

So, what have we learned here?
-You can never trust the words of Jack Thompson.
-He likes to rob charities of money.
-He thinks doing what he said he planned to do is considered criminal harassment.

But hey, at least we got a couple fun games out of this mess.

1. Starting The Bully Case - The Beginning of The End of Jack Thompson


Next time you want to rant and rave about other people, go on MySpace.

There are many reasons as to why the Florida Bar wanted Jack Thompson gone for the next ten years. But the sanction hearings for deciding that would probably not have happened if not for this particular video game case. This is when the beginning of the end arrived for Jack Thompson.

With Bully coming from the creators of Grand Theft Auto, it attracted natural attention by the media already condemning the game for teaching kids how to be Bullies or how to deal with Bullies. Mind you, the game was attracting controversy before it was ever released, so people had no idea what the actual product would turn out in the end. Before the game was released, Thompson tried to get this game labeled as a public nuisance and having it banned from retail shelves. So Judge Friedman decided to watch the gameplay itself, and was shown the most graphic portions of the game. After seeing the game for himself, the judge said that it wouldn't be something that he would let his kid play, but because there was nothing in the game you can't see on TV, he ruled that Bully would not be prohibited from getting sold. Thompson was so furious that he made several angry comments about Judge Friedman and sent him a few letters about how badly he conducted the hearing:

"How dare you, Judge, promise a hearing today and then prevent that hearing from occurring. How dare you, Judge, petulantly order the production of the game after it is released on Tuesday morning. I didn't even ask for that. You did that out of spite, and you were smiling when you did that. You really enjoyed that one, didn't you, Judge? Next time you promise a 'hearing,' I'll bring a parent with me whose kid is in the ground because of a kid who trained to kill him or her on a violent video game. Try mocking that person, I dare you.

...when the victims start contacting me, I'll tell them how you prevented the hearing and didn't review the entire game before you unleashed it upon them. I have never run into a more discouraging abortion of justice than in your courtoom. But it's not about me, Judge Friedman. It's about these kids. You think the riot in the OD was bad? Just wait."

If Thompson had kept his mouth shut about the decision, he would not be in the situation he's in.

Overhearing what Thompson was doing, Take-Two's attorneys requested Friedman hold a hearing as to why he shouldn't be held in contempt. So off to court Thompson went, and wouldn't you know it, Thompson went and made an ass out of himself. At one point he decided to hold up a big sign that stated the rules of contempt. Judge Friedman decided to step down from the case and filed a complaint to the Florida bar, calling Thompson's actions "inappropriate by a member of the bar, unprofessional and contemptible". He also warned Thompson that the next judge "might not be as kind" as he was.

Ever since this hearing, things went from bad to worse for Jack Thompson. In 2007, he was made to be a complete fool by many over his comments on Virginia Tech, was threatened with sanctions by the Florida Bar for filing frivolous evidence, the bill he helped draft in Louisiana to ban video game sales to people under 18 cost taxpayers nearly $2 million when it failed, had a three month suspension, had many of his countless lawsuits and complaints thrown out, and then in 2008, was recommended to be found guilty of 27 out of 31 misconduct violations by Judge Dava Tunis. A disciplinary hearing was held a few weeks ago, and Thompson simply walked out of the courtroom, where the Florida Bar suggested he gets disbarred for ten years.

Thompson has been doing stupid and crazy things for years, but it seemed like aside from earning him hatred by gamers and other critics, nothing would really happen to him. But ever since taking the Bully case and making an ass out of himself during the hearing, things went completely downhill for the man. The Florida bar grew to dislike Thompson as time went on, and more hearings would have to be held until the one that would eventually seal his fate.

For that reason, Starting the Bully Case is the most stupidest thing Jack Thompson has ever done.

Dishonorable Mentions

The hard part wasn't trying to find out all the stuff he did; it was trying to reduce it to ten. Here are other stupid things Thompson has done but didn't make the list:

Thompson enters Mortal Kombat – He threatened Midway with legal action when he thought he was in Mortal Kombat: Armageddon. Turns out it was just a website making custom character in the "Kreate-A-Fighter" mode.

Sony committing "Pearl Harbor 2" - Because Sony is dumping porn in kids brains with GTA, he claims Sony along with Take-Two is committing Pearl Harbor 2. When asked if his remarks were insensitive, he said "What the Japanese are doing to our kids is insensitive and racist."

Where's my $200 million? - As part of a dispute with Florida radio personality Neil Rogers, he recorded eight months worth of shows and heard his name 40,000 times, so he thought he was worth $200 million and sued for that amount. He didn't receive a dime.

Goodbye John Bruce Thompson. We won't miss you.