The Checkpoint 09.01.08: STOP IT! BAD, BAD MONKEY!!!
Posted by John Curry on 09.01.2008
In this world apparently people feel the need to turn EVERY successful game into a film. It’s a monkey see monkey do kind of world. This week the Checkpoint decides to kill a monkey.
This week the biggest announcement of the year came, one that had everyone on their seats waiting to find out if this Giant Monkey was real, myself included. As it turned out the Giant Monkey was real and Bigfoot was not. Who is this proverbial Giant Monkey I speak about, you ask? IT would be none other than Brett Ratner.
Brett Ratner released the following statement this past week.
""I love Guitar Hero and I think it's a part of pop culture. I would love to do a Guitar Hero movie, if Activision would ever let me. I'm trying to convince them, but why would you have a movie screw up such a huge franchise? Not that I would make a bad movie. So that would be cool, to do a Guitar Hero movie."
For those of you who are not familiar with Brett Ratner, Ratner is the guy behind the atrocity that was X-men: Last Stand, the constantly incarcerated Prison Break, Code Name: The Cleaner, Santa Slay, Rush Hour 3, Red Dragon, Family Man, and many, many other top notch films. I would expect more from Ratner but apparently he has given up his name to become nothing more than another Giant Monkey who does what he sees. He wants to make a movie based on a video game. Unfortunately, he wants to make a movie based on a game that a million movies have already done and done ten times better. Which leads me to the idea of discussing exactly what movies have already been done that a Guitar Hero movie would even try to replicate.
The Guitar Hero Game's guitar aspect…………beaten by CrossRoads"
Look at this clip:
This is what a good guitar movie looks like. This is one of the best films of all time. There is no other guitar playing film that you are going to make that could have any potential at beating this film. I mean think about it, classically trained guitarist meets old man, gets laid, and gambles his soul against the devil in a guitar contest. You aren't going to beat it. Don't waste your time or mine trying to do it.
The Guitar Hero Game's making/being in the band aspect…….beaten by ummmm Rockstar, Almost Famous and Others."
Check this one out:
Going at it with Jennifer Aniston. It just doesn't get much more Rocker than that. Plain and simple this is the story of going from a fan with nothing to having it all. There really isn't much that can be done to replicate this aspect of it. I mean hell even Purple Rain would do anything better than a potential Guitar Hero movie.
I mean seriously what the hell could Brett Ratner bring to the table with a Guitar Hero movie? Maybe the rise of Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers? This is the only way you are going to get anyone to explain how in the hell those two "bands" made it to being as famous as they are. This is just another example of making a freaking game into a movie when it doesn't really warrant it. What's next? Tetris the Movie? Pong the Movie? BrainGames the Movie? Come on wake up people this is horseshit. Stop the monkey see monkey do mentality of turning everything into a damn movie. IT isn't warranted. What happened to the creativity of making films and good games without copying someone else? It's down the drain. Join me in telling Brett Ratner and the people at Activision that we DO NOT want a Guitar Hero Game. Hell we barely even want a Guitar Hero sequel.
