The Checkpoint 09.08.08: It’s So Easy, A Caveman Can Do It
Posted by John Curry on 09.08.2008
This week the Checkpoint looks at one game that it wants to see redone for the next generation consoles, Caveman Games.
This week I was at the local game exchange location and saw something that I had not seen in years. A glimmer lit up in my eye as the memories of my childhood flooded back to me. There in the NES case laid the only real game I remember actually playing with my father as a kid, the one and only Caveman Games. I remember playing this game with my father every chance he would give me to play. I had to have this game. A little nostalgia for my own selfish purposes I paid the 10 dollar asking price for the game and proceeded to run home to dive headfirst into this game as an adult for the first time. I dug through my closet, found and hooked up my original NES system and began to play it. After about two hours of exponential enjoyment I began to question why this game has not being ported to one of the next generation systems. For those of you who are not familiar with the game allow me to tell you a little about the events that make up the game.
Events:
Sabre Race
The Sabre Race is one of the silliest but probably most historically accurate events to occur in Neolithic times. The point is simple, out run the sabre or be eaten. It's that simple. Your job is simply to mash the buttons as much as possible and run to get up the tree quicker than your opponent.
Clubbing
The original Ultimate fighting. Club your opponent until they fall of the rock balancing on the pointed rock below it. This is one of the most enjoyable parts of the game. The event begins by intimidating your opponent which will force them to back up. Once the match begins, you either club their knees or their head until they back up and fall off the cliff. It is hilarious.
Dino Vault
This is the simplest event of the game. You just run as fast as you can. If you do it well enough you will leap over the dinosaur, if you don't then you are eaten alive.
Dino Race
This is as simple as it sounds.
Mate Toss
The second funniest event in the game. The whole point is to spin around as fast as possible and then release your mate at the correct time and you will throw them as far as possible. It's like the javelin but better.
Firemaking
The single reason to purchase this game. Your job is to start a fire before your opponent does. If he gets too far ahead of you, just reach over and slap him upside the head with your club.
The whole premise of this game would be perfect considering the popularity and albeit shortage of family style multiplayer games, such as Mario Party and Hail to the Chimp. The whole caveman idea is being milked to the point of exhaustion why not revive the greatest caveman game? I mean let's be honest, could there be anything better than Caveman Games, Sponsored by Geico. I want to see this game revitalized and made to be one of the funniest and greatest games ever. There is no reason that this game should not be made. This game if marketed correctly would be perfect for the Nintendo Wii. The whole idea that this game would be perfect for families and would be able to fully utilize the Wiimote for 4 players at once.
I apologize for the shortness of the article as this week was the beginning of my Student Teaching semester and as a result has stretched me out as thin as possible. Bear with me. I'll be back next week with the top 10 most historically innaccurate history based games.
