The Hall of Shame 09.10.08: Angry Video Game Wannabes

Posted by Vincent Chiucchi on 09.10.2008

They got the angry gamer part right, but they got everything else wrong.

James Rolfe is a guy who really loves movies. Ever since he was a kid he started his one-man production called Cinemassacre and created dozens of movies. Most of his movies were basically private works he shared with his friends until he decided to review of a couple bad NES games. Two years after doing the reviews and uploading it on YouTube, he became quite popular. Thus the Angry Nintendo (later changed to Video Game) Nerd was born. As by internet law, or theory, or something, in came the people doing their style of angry game reviews in order to be just as popular as Rolfe.

Even though these people weren't original in their idea (in fact you can say the AVGN wasn't original when compared to Seanbaby), some of them were quite funny. Some think that the people that have come after AVGN are just as funny or even funnier then him. Some, however, are just outright wannabes who have no idea what makes the AVGN funny in the first place. In this week's Hall of Shame, we take a look at three of the possibly hundreds of angry video game wannabes out there.

Good Bad Awful Video Game Reviews

Real? Parody? You decide.

If you're going to take an idea and reshape it as your own, the least you can do is make sure you let people know what exactly you're doing. A different take on angry reviews? A parody of people who do angry reviews? With this guy's videos, I really can't tell what the hell this guy is doing. He has a 20 second intro where the production is so awful, that alone makes me think he's a horrible AVGN wannabe.

I mean, just look at it:



Would you really want to see the videos of someone who made THAT as an intro? I watched one of his reviews and it sounded like he was doing a serious review. So I guess he's a serious reviewer then? But he really was he wouldn't make such amateur video mistakes would he? Anyways, the guy's videos aren't so good, but they are sure as hell much better then the next two I'm about to speak of.

Angry Video Game Nerd XD

This is why 10-year-olds should be banned from YouTube.

Okay, if you're going to do your own angry video game review show, the least you can do is not copy the name of the guy who made it really popular. It's one thing if you make your name sound like the guy in order to parody him (such as the Happy Video Game Nerd, who actually makes some good videos), but just taking his name and adding a couple of letters really shows that you're nothing more then a wannabe and that's all you'll ever be. The YouTube name for this guy is Sizzler07, and he is so horrible that there are literally dozens of response videos talking about how awful he is. One was even done by Armake21, an angry video game reviewer who is also quite popular and is actually funny. You would think with all the hate this kid gets, he would quit making new videos, but instead he seems to have taken the Uwe Boll route and revels in the fact that he is the worst angry video game reviewer ever.

Here is one of his infamous videos where he talks about why Mortal Kombat for the Genesis sucks:



In case it wasn't obvious, here are all the problems with this kid's review:

1.It's a port, not a remake.

2.He seems to have no idea who made Mortal Kombat or who ported it to the console. Since this kid has access to a computer, I'd say he should have done the research first.

3.I can understand not having a capture card and having to use your camcorder, but could you at least have edited the crap where you're setting everything up? If you're smart enough to upload a video, then you should be smart enough to edit them.

4.He hates the game because it looks old. Probably because it came out about FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS AGO! That's older then this kid is.

5.He's complaining about what button to press when the screen clearly says to PRESS START. Obvious instructions are obvious.

6.Wow. A console game not being as good as the arcade version? This kid is obviously not old enough to remember when just about all console games were exactly like that.

7.He talks about how the game isn't saying what it's supposed to be saying, but the sound quality is so awful I can't tell whether he's telling the truth or not. Considering he didn't know to PRESS START, I'd say he's a liar.

8.He doesn't know how Sub-Zero and Scorpion are different.

9.He took the cartridge out of the system while the game was still on. Now can damage the game and your system, so it's obvious this kid has no idea what the hell he's doing.

Really, how can anyone look at these reviews and think they're good? Thankfully no one seems to actually like this kid, but if there is someone that does, I might as well do my own AVGN wannabe show.

The Irate Gamer

Doesn't seem so Irate to me.

The Irate Gamer is basically the Carlos Mencia to AVGN's Dave Chappelle. At first you think he's really funny. Then you start noticing all the similarities. Then you notice how he makes observations that don't actually contribute to his reasoning. Then you realize he just isn't funny at all and you wonder why you'd watch his videos other then to see just how terrible he can get.

The Irate Gamer has been heavily criticized by AVGN fans. Of course that happens to a lot of reviewers due to AVGNazis (a term given for stupid AVGN fanboys), but the Irate Gamer has almost all of it coming. In his early reviews, many of his jokes and sayings were lifted from AVGN videos. Plus whenever AVGN comes out with a new piece of merchandise, the Irate Gamer immediately follows with a half-assed version of his own. Last year he came out with a DVD around the time AVGN did, and it had so many problems that Chris Bores basically proved himself to be nothing more then an AVGN clone trying to cash in on his popularity. It wasn't just copying AVGN that was the problem; on the bottom of the DVD he printed copyright information for a completely different show that he made. Oh, and if you try to watch Episodes 7 through 11 from the select menu, it takes you to another episode instead. So in order to see them, you have to select Play All and watch all the episodes. That's right: YOU CAN'T SKIP THE EPISODES! Even if the Irate Gamer was better then AVGN, that kind of poor production is inexcusable.

For a further look at how badly he reviews games, here's his review of Mission Impossible for the NES:



The Problems

1.When the AVGN gets angry, you can tell by the change in his tone. The Irate Gamer barely sounds different whether he does a serious review or an angry review.

2.He points out how you can't choose to not accept it, but seems to miss the fact that it doesn't say choose to accept it. Instead it says "DECIDE" to accept.

3.He points out not selecting a stage as a fault? Last time I checked, over 90% of NES games were linear that way.

4.He's irate about getting run over in the street? Well then I guess you'll have to stick to the SIDEWALK!

5.He hates the game for having you solve puzzles along the way? Doesn't Mega Man somewhat do that when you have to jump on those disappearing/reappearing platforms?

6.It's funny how he disses Mission Impossible for having you choose a password or starting all over, since Mega Man does THE EXACT SAME THING!

7.Notice how he constantly taps the Turbo button? You don't need to do that. IT'S A TURBO BUTTON!

8.What was with the random Urkel reference?

9.I swear he must be trying to look stupid on purpose on the conveyor belt part.

It's probably not fair to judge this guy based on his early works, but honestly, compare this to his latest reviews like R.O.B. or E.T. and it doesn't even look that much different. Overall, if Chris Bores was a serious game reviewer, he could've been somewhat good. As an Angry Video Game Wannabe however, he just fails miserably. But unfortunately, just like Carlos Mencia, he has such a dedicated fanbase that he'll continue to live on for years to come. Hell, YouTube made him a partner and started taking down the AVGN's videos!

No wonder people think YouTube sucks.