Achievement Unlocked 09.19.08: The Revamp

Posted by Rod Oracheski on 09.19.2008

411's Rod Oracheski takes on the so-so Achievement lists of three games, offering up a few replacements that would have made the quest to get 1,000/1,000 a lot more interesting.



It's a sad fact of life that some companies just didn't think Achievements were going to catch on, and didn't spend much time on the Achievement list for their games as a result. That left us with lists that were a grand total of 10-20 Achievements, and took an hour to finish up.

Of course that's all changed as companies came to realize a good Achievement list could be a valuable (and free) marketing tool for their upcoming product, along with a way to keep gamers playing their game - not the competing product.

I figured an Achievement list revamp would be a good subject for discussion, especially as those poor lists aren't only confined to older games. A number of new games still sport sub-par lists, though this number seems to be shrinking as time goes on, and could use a revamp as well.

The Rules:
For each game I'll make a quick list of Achievements that would be dumped, along with some reasons why they have to go. Expect to see a lot of Achievements marked 'online-only' in this section, for reasons that are probably obvious to anyone who has played with an Achievement Beggar.

**ACHIEVEMENT BEGGAR HAS JOINED THE GAME**

Achievement Beggar, 20 seconds before the round starts: PLEASE, just let me get five kills in a row without killing me!

Achievement Beggar, 15 seconds before the round starts: GUYS? PLEASE! I just need to get this ONE Achievement!

Achievement Beggar, 10 seconds before the round starts: OK? GUYS? C'MON GUYS!

Achievement Beggar, 1 second after the round ends: GUYS, STOP KILLING ME!

Achievement Beggar, 1 second after the next round ends: WTF...YOU GUYS SUCK!

**ACHIEVEMENT BEGGAR HAS LEFT THE GAME**

After the removals comes Replacement Achievements. This is where I'll be listing, obviously enough, the Achievements I'd add to the game. The format is pretty simple: name of the Achievement, task associated with it, then a quick explanation of why it'd work better than what was there. I'll also list some extraneous stuff here like how the Achievement would be stat tracked, what kind of extra content it could unlock - things like that. I won't list a Gamerscore allotment, as that's dependent heavily on what the entire list looks like, though I might say I'd make it a low (5-10) or high (30-50) point Achievement.

This isn't going to be a weekly thing, and it's going to be a little more limited than I wanted in its first outing. I originally wanted to do a complete overhaul on offending Achievement lists, but realized that, while I have a pretty good idea of them, I don't know the exact guidelines that developers need to follow.

Even some of the rules that are commonly believed to be set in stone don't seem to be - the 50-Achievement limit, for example. While Valve received a widely-reported exception for The Orange Box's 99-Achievement limit, I don't think THQ has the kind of pull needed to get Juiced 2 an exception for it's 60-Achievement list...nor did it really need one.

I figured it would be pointless to do an Achievement revamp without knowing the rules, so I sent off some e-mails to people 'in the know' hoping they could straighten out the basic guidelines. When I get some answers from those inquiries, I'll think about doing an entire list. I'd hate to do a revamp, then have to correct my own list down the road.

Without those answers, I figured the next best thing is to do a few games and suggest 3-5 Achievements I'd add to each. So let's get to it...

Smile for the...what - no cameras?

Battlefield: Bad Company

Achievements to remove:

I'd take out online-only Achievements like 'Dog owner!' (Collect 5 unique dog tags.) or 'Vehikill' (Get at least one kill in every vehicle) to make room for these 10 replacements. Some online Achievements could remain, particularly 'Never Used a Door' (Destroy 1,000 walls) or 'Forest Ranger' (Knock down 1,000 trees) - but those should be switched to offline Achievements.

There's nothing worse than losing a close match that could have been a win if one (or more) of your team wasn't off trying to get an Achievement instead of actually shooting at the enemy.

Replacement Achievements:

We Can't Have Nice Things:
Blow up every vehicle in a level.

This Achievement would only count static vehicles that always populate the level. Enemies that come in from 'off-map' with a vehicle wouldn't count. It gives gamers a reason to explore the terrain a bit more, perhaps stumbling onto some hidden gold while they're at it, but shouldn't have to be a punishing grind. Stat tracking for this one would indicate how many vehicles remain intact in the level.

My Boomstick's Bigger:
Kill five enemies using artillery.

A fairly self-explanatory Achievement - in the mission with the howitzer, rain death down on the unworthy. I'm not sure why they never included a howitzer Achievement at all - it's a very fun piece of death machinery to use. This one is pretty easy, and required to advance in the story, so it would be a low-point Achievement.

Close Counts In Hand Grenades:
Kill an enemy with a 'near miss' hand grenade.

I really just wanted this one for the name, a play on that 'close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades' saying that's largely died out. Not only is it an Achievement, it's preserving the history of the language! This Achievement would be an easy one to get, so figure it to be a low-point one.

Everyone loves a man in uniform

Elder Scrolls: Oblivion

Achievements to remove:

Ditch the Achievements for hitting the lower ranks within the various guilds. Make getting the max rank an Achievement, so it means something. The current list gave 10 Gamerscore for each level but the last, which was worth 50. I'm sure they intended that to make it special, but for anyone who doesn't really care about the numbers...it just cheapened them all.

Replacement Achievements:

Isn't There a Crisis Somewhere?
Kill a deer with your bare hands.

This one was inspired by the way I always wind up chasing down deer to pummel instead of following through on the quest lines. It helps that it also encourages gamers to try something new, though most gamers confronted with Oblivion's huge tracts of land probably need as many Achievements aimed at keeping them on the straight and narrow as possible...

Two on One Isn't Fair:
An enemy who has attacked you was killed by a guard.

Another Achievement designed to make people think about options, this one would be picked up by having someone attack you in sight of a guard - causing them to beat the holy hell out of your attacker. Anyone who has played Oblivion knows this can happen in a variety of ways, giving gamers a nice selection of options to unlock it.

Never Saw It Coming:
Kill an enemy without warning.

There would be a number of ways to get this one - one shot kills from behind or from invisibility, or using a bow on a low-level enemy. It's another that will get people to try something different, though it shouldn't be overly difficult to unlock.

Pottery Barn:
Collect 25 plates, bowls, or cups.

This is one of those quirky Achievements that you can accomplish pretty much anywhere in the game. Everywhere you look, there's something to pick up and look at - though most of them will get you in trouble for stealing! There's the added benefit of getting gamers to look around them, helping them see just how much detail there is in the world.

Nothing to see here...

Grand Theft Auto IV

Achievements to remove:

Once again, the multiplayer Achievements get the axe. The rest of the list wasn't all that bad, though a bit heavy on completion-style ones. If I was going to redo the entire list, I'd also axe the pigeon-killing one, or at least drop it down to a far more manageable 50-100 pigeons. Changing mission-related ones to something more fun would also be a priority.

Replacement Achievements:

You Got Lucky:
Bailed out of a helicopter at high altitude...and lived!

There would be two ways I can think of to accomplish this one: land in the ocean (easy) or land in a pool (insanely difficult). I like the way it could be a challenge to the more hardcore gamers, but not make it impossible to those not-so-skilled ones out there at the same time.

I'm In Marketing:
Bailed out of a helicopter and hit a billboard.

Not a difficult one to get if someone were to go after it, but also not something people would generally think to do on their own. It's worth it to see him smack that signboard at high speed in the fetal position.

Rubbing's Racing:
Damaged every side of a vehicle while driving it.

When you have those nice vehicles and the ability to beat the hell out of them, how can you miss giving out an Achievement based on that? Simple as hell to get, so make this one a low-pointer.

Hey, I'm Driving Here!
Run down 50 pedestrians.

Vehicles + pedestrians (on the sidewalk or not) = chaos and fun. I've said before that Achievements should find what people think is fun and use it. People love running down those slow moving Liberty City pedestrians.

The Niko-pult:
Fire Niko over 30 feet from a vehicle.

High speeds + sudden stop = Niko flying through the air. I'd have to see what distances you can achieve using some of the city's set points - like hitting the fence at the end of a dock, for example, but 30 feet sounds decent.

No doubt there's a time or two while playing that you've done something and said "Man, that should have been an Achievement" so feel free to share in the comments or via e-mail. If it's good (or really bad) I'll give it a mention down the road when this reappears.



The Bioshock Trophy list was released and, as expected, it's a virtual clone of the Xbox 360 version's Achievement list. There are three more Trophies than Achievements, however - two related to the new Survivor mode ('A Man Chooses' and 'I Chose the Impossible') along with the Platinum Trophy for completing all the others. Bioshock has a decent Achievement/Trophy list, if a little heavy on the completion-style tasks, so changing it up probably wasn't really needed in any case.

Rock Band 2 also had its Trophy list revealed, and I believe it's an exact clone of the Achievement list - with one additional Trophy for the Platinum. This is a game that I'll probably hit with a revamp at some point, as the list is pretty bland for such a great 'rock and roll attitude' game.

The final game to have a Trophy list revealed was LittleBigPlanet. One of the better Trophy lists, this one seems to tap into the 'do anything you want' vibe the game has, with 'Incredible Height!' (Travel to an incredible height) and 'Incredible Speed!' (Travel at incredible speed) both piquing my interest, while 'Sackbird' (Spend 8 seconds or more in the air) sounds like a challenge.

In addition, they use Trophies to push people towards the level creation aspect, but this - like the online-only Achievements EA used to push gamers towards the EA Sports Hockey League in NHL 09 - is a huge letdown for offline gamers. There's also one 'you're never going to get it' style Trophy - 'FIRST!' (Be among the first 10 people to complete a community level).



Meant to get back into Disgaea 3 this week, but wound up sidetracked by NHL 09's EA Sports Hockey League along with some friends. I know other games have had it in the past, but multiplayer - when done this way - in a sports title is amazing. We struggled a bit early on - should definitely have spent more time in the offline modes to get the hang of the controls again after leaving NHL 08 on the shelf for so long - but we're coming around and almost back to a .500 record.

Speaking of NHL 09, I saw Sam Gagner - a second-year player with the Oilers - had his stats reduced over the summer. The poor guy went from an 80-something in the final update of last season to a sub-80 at the start of this year, prompting him to wonder how they think he got worse over the summer. I'm going to try to get in touch with him in the next week or two so we can talk games. I already talked to Mike Green about the subject, and adding in someone who's an admitted gamer would be nice. I might add in a few more of the younger guys in the league and turn it into a feature article - we'll see. If there's anyone you'd like to hear from, let me know.

I also gave NHL 2K9 a shot and while there are some things it does better than NHL 09 - particularly the fighting - I still think it's coming up second-best this season. They took some huge steps forward this year, so maybe next year's the one they finally get that crown back.

Until next week, I'm back on the ice.