Coming Attractions 10.18.08: Exploding Wallet Edition

Posted by Drew Robbins on 10.18.2008

Welcome to a week of Coming Attractions that is bound to make your wallets cry, as Fable 2, Bioshock, and Little Big Pla--wait, what? Delayed?! Well, those other two are still pretty good.

Welcome to this week's edition of Coming Attractions, coming to you every Saturdays on 411, praise Jesus. Uh oh, did he say Jesus?! BETTER DELAY IT A FEW WEEKS!

- Today was going to be an awesome Coming Attractions, I was pumped. All I could think about was how next Tuesday, Little Big Planet was finally going to sink into my PS3 and I could spend my days creating levels and playing through the game's beautiful single player. One Qu'ran reference later and Little Big Planet has been officially delayed. Yes, religion has now forced my second most anticipated game of the remaining year to November (*update...thank the lord, only one week), on the same day as the latest World of Warcraft expansion. The choice may seem obvious but…I hate choices. This is probably the third worst video-game related day this year, only behind the day I found out Brawl was delayed again and the day I saw what they are doing to Banjo Kazooie.

- I'm still playing Madden, and from the looks of it, I might be playing it for a while longer than I expected, at least until NBA 2K9 arrives in the mail. Still enjoying it immensely, my franchise is coming a long nicely. I won the Super Bowl and beat the Patriots (which is just…fantastic). During the offseason I traded off Steven Jackson for Ronnie Brown, but other than that I didn't mess around too much with the team. I've started off my new season with a 5-2 record, including an awesome (see: holy crap, it was awesome) comeback against the Texans.

- Did you see the real Rams win last Sunday? What a triumph of mankind. I was in a very good mood all week, and then LBP screwed it up…thanks.

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Coming Attractions – Week 15

Former best week ever turns into…week I couldn't care less about. The biggest game this week is on a system I don't even own. Just…this is probably going to be a very disgruntled Coming Attractions.

Wii Music (Wii) - See what I meant? We go from the top notch of the gaming world to the…bottom rung. Last generation, the common argument by a teenager against the Gamecube was "Nah, I don't play those baby games." Well that is literal this time, because Wii Music is actually a baby game. For the first time ever, those morons have a logical complaint. Wii Music was Nintendo's "big announcement" (seriously, how does this crap upstage Animal Crossing?) at E3, a day where they promised the world but only ended up giving us something equivalent of Oklahoma. And honestly, who wants that? The "game," if you could call it that, is a rhythm game for children without rhythm. You remember those toys you used to have that played whatever note was next in the song, no matter what note you actually pressed? Well, turn the cost up to $50 and you get Wii Music. Of course, now instead of feeling like you are holding an actual instrument, you feel like a moron for holding the Wii remote like a saxophone or perhaps even an oboe. Miyamoto's favorite thing about this game (oh Miyamoto…please tell me you aren't really the one behind this) is the fact that you can play the game without looking at the screen. WELL THEN WHY THE HECK DID YOU PUT IT ON THE WII? That is the whole thing, you get to see video games play out on a screen, if you are just looking around the room it will make you look even more moronic than you already look…which to be frank, if you are over the age of 10 and enjoying this game, you probably look pretty doofy. Just saying…
My Opinion: ??? - How am I supposed to rate something that clearly isn't a game?


- "That looks fun!" Says the kid who's only Wii game is Wii Sports.

Spiderman: Web of Shadows (360/PS3) - For once, I think there is good reason to get excited for a Spiderman game. The developers, this time around, actually watched the Spiderman action scenes for a change and saw that *gasp* Spidey doesn't just sit on the ground and punch people. He fights on a web, he fights in the air, he fights on the walls. There are no situations where Spiderman doesn't fight, but in the past, he has only fought while on the streets during the games. Remember how cool fighting Green Goblin could've been…but you had to fight him inside some lousy building. Or on the top of a bridge…but never while he was on his little air-board. This time around, all of the action seems to be done in quick spurts of combos, you'll go from slinging a web to kicking a guy up in the air, shoot some web at him to stick his body to a building, and the run up and punch the crap out of him…that just sounds…awesome. I'm not quite sure whether or not they kept the extraordinary swinging controls from Spiderman 2 (and to a less awesome extent, Spiderman 3), but either way, the combat looks like it has finally been nailed. High hopes for this one, let us hope they don't screw it up like they did with Spiderman 3.
My Opinion: Thumbs Up - It might end up being just the perfect rental, but I'm sure this game has some replay to it…if the combat is as great as they've shown in videos.


- Dear Activision, if you screw this up…just don't freaking screw this one up.

Far Cry 2 (PC…and those other two) - Far Cry is not a series I'm particularly familiar with. I know Ubisoft makes it, which is usually a sign of quality (misleading Imagine series…darn you!). This game is out of Ubisoft's usual routine of platformers and fantasy girl simulators, and is instead a member of the most oversaturated market in recent years, the first-person shooter. To separate itself from the pack (and join S.T.A.L.K.E.R.), Far Cry is a free roaming shooter. Of course, unlike S.T.A.L.K.E.R., Far Cry is a well know brand name that will probably appeal to the casuals as well as the "hardcore," who I'm pretty sure just hate all games these days. There really isn't much more to say about Far Cry besides…looks pretty cool. Word of the wise, if your PC is good, just get it for that. Shooters…on consoles? Ha, that is a good one.
My Opinion: Thumbs Up - Ubisoft! Where would I be without you?


- I don't know what to derive from this picture…maybe he is timing the Zebra's trip to the water.

Rock Band 2 (PS3) - Just as a side note, I'm a little mad about waiting till December for the Wii version of Rock Band 2. Only a little mad, though, because the game is fully-featured. Thank the lord. The following has been copy-pasted from my column a month ago, when Rock Band was released on the 360.

"Surprisingly enough, 2008 has been a year where nothing has really made me too angry. Obama won the Democratic nomination, Smash Bros got released, and a new Prince of Persia was revealed to be coming this holiday season. There was one peace of news, though, that did make me want to slam my head on the computer desk. The second that Harmonix announced that Rock Band 2 would be a temporary exclusive; I was sent into a state of rage. Not only will I have to wait an extra month to play Rock Band 2, that will be one less month where I own a rhythm game with Living on a Prayer. Edit: Hey look, the wait is over…if you own the PS3 original. Harmonix claims it was because Microsoft was really supportive of Rock Band (see: they paid them off), so they decided to reward them with a temporary exclusive. My rage is almost inexpressible, so I won't express it. I'll talk about how awesome Rock Band is, just to reassure everyone. The environment created by this game is so astounding, something about the game just feels special. When I was singing "Wanted: Dead or Alive" for the first time, chills ran up my spine. It really is a surreal experience, the crowd seems alive (sometimes they even sing along), and everyone is getting into the music. When you play Guitar Hero on multiplayer, it feels kind of dull, just too people playing on a plastic guitar. Take that idea and add drums and a microphone, and suddenly you have one of the best multiplayer games of all time.

My Opinion: Thumbs Up most people avoided Rock Band because of the price, but now they are really on an even playing field. Activision just doesn't have a feel for the rhythm genre."

Thanks, past self, any questions you'd like to ask?
Past Drew: Oh wow, you are really close to Little Big Planet, 4 more days, right?
Drew: ….



Bioshock (PS3) - Last year, in the midst of a lot of other great games (Mario Galaxy and Team Fortress 2 are already among my all-time favorites), Bioshock was released. I remember when I first played the demo, it was a lot like Fallout. Only in that I didn't quit because the gameplay sucked. The similarities are within the opening, where your character gets plummeted down to Rapture…which just blew my mind. The game is just beautiful, and that alone is probably reason enough for a purchase. I've never played the whole game, mostly because I hate spending money and I wasn't quite sure if Bioshock was for me. However, after the release, praise for the game started to flood out and the story was being highly praised. The atmosphere and story just seemed exactly right for me, so now that it is coming out on a system I own, I will definitely try and snatch it up. I recommend you do the same.
My Opinion: Two Thumbs Up - A classic, as deemed by many, those of you who have yet to play it had better buy it.



Star Ocean: First Departure (PSP) - Rejoice, PSP owners, as something is finally hitting store shelves for your neglected handheld. Star Ocean is a remake of the original Star Ocean, a Squeenix series that uses real-time combat and combines it with…anime like characters, god dangit. Such potential, and then you just kind of hit this bump of crap…really, anime? I understand why they do it, the Japanese will buy anything if the cover has big-eyed characters with overly spiky hair…heck, it worked pretty well in the U.S. with Final Fantasy 7. This is not good character design, guys, the more belts does not make a better character. The character development has always been pretty lousy in Squeenix games as well, with clichéd characters partaking in clichéd scenarios. "Spiky-haired male, who lives the life of his dead friend, chases after an evil looking man seeking the destruction of the world." Never seen this before.
My Opinion: Thumbs Up - Lousy story (that is bound to be praised by reviewers that don't understand good writing) but redeeming gameplay. Looks fun, though I know I won't be playing it.


- Thousands of Japanese people just went out and bought this game, based on this picture alone.

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This Week's #1 Pick

Fable II (360) - Well this week was going to be a shining moment for the PS3…if it weren't for that creative "genius" who decided to quote the Qur'an…JUST WHAT THE HECK?!

Peter Molynieux (this is probably misspelled…and if not, I need a life) is a renowned liar, and every once in a while he creates a game so he can lie about features it might include. The greatest example is the original Fable, where he went on and on about the replay value and raising families and how deep the character customization was…none of that came to reality in the final game. What we got was an enjoyable game that had very little replay value. This wouldn't be a problem if the game wasn't so short, making it into the "perfect rental" instead of the "perfect purchase." The game had a lot of problems keeping it from greatness. First of all, Norty. ‘Nuff said. Then we have the aging process which was overly quick. Your character goes from strapping young lad to old man in a matter of hours. I wasn't even halfway through the game when my character's hair turned completely gray. The game's highly touted character customization was overblown, as per usual with games that let you choose between good and evil. Your choices were pretty much laid out for you "Do this, and you're good…but if you do this? Bad man." I'm fairly sure they even organized it like that in the mission menu. Every game with "deep character customization" ends up being so blatant about how the choices affect you.

The return of Fable brings with it the promise of lies, but also potential for greatness. My personal favorite new feature is the co-op mode, which instantly bumps up the replay value to godly levels. Other new features include a family, a dog, and improved character customization. To be honest, I can't wait to see which lies are fulfilled this time, and will only be addressed in a few years when Fable III is released. Oh Molynieux, you are such a jerk!
My Opinion: Two Thumbs Up - Fable is back, and better than ever…I hope.


- This dog has great potential to be a sack of lies. You heard it here first!

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Console War Scoreboard

Xbox 360 8
PS3 5
PC 4
Wii 3
DS 3
PS2 2
PSP 0

Hey! I already wrote the text for the scoreboard, lets see what it says..

"The PS3 closes the gap this week with, finally, the release of Little Big Pla—"

NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

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Quick Previews

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia (DS) - Not a fan of these games.
My Opinion: Thumbs Up - But everyone else is, and the DS has been pretty good to the series.

Carnival Games: Mini-Golf (Wii) - Oh man…
My Opinion: Two Thumbs Down - If you are going to buy one crappy game this week, just buy Wii Music. Wait, I said game…never mind.

Spyro: Something or Other - Not in the mood for this garbage.
My Opinion: Two Thumbs Down - The last thing I wanted to see was a game that reminded me of how companies are going out of their way to ruin my childhood. Just keep on with the Crash and Spyro games Vivendi, I couldn't hate you any more than I already do.

Eternal Sonata (PS3) - Remake of the 360 game last year.
My Opinion: Ehhh - I hear mixed things…and I'm not really into researching these overly Japanese RPGs.

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Yesterday's Attractions

Wii Play - Ah man, what is this garbage? Only months after the release of the Wii, Nintendo decided to milk the popularity of Wii Sports with another Mii-based game. The product of this was Wii Play, a collection of minigames that are fun for about…ten minutes? If that. The first mini-game I tried is ping-pong, a horribly controlled mini-game that wasn't even half of what Wii Tennis was. Next up was air hockey, which was decent, but yet again, those controls are so clumsy it is ridiculous. The last game I even attempted before giving up on the game was Pose Mii…the worst idea of all time. You guide your Mii, twist his poses, and try to fit him into a bubble. That is it. Dear lord this game was awful, just thinking about it makes me want to throw the Wii out the window. Luckily it would have the PS3 to cushion the fall, which I threw out when I heard that Little Big Planet was delayed. Now all that is left is the PC…oh Valve, if you delay Left 4 Dead, I will just go insane.
Related To - Wii Music (without the free controller)
My Rating 0 out of Five, what an awful game.

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Reader Feedback

I got more feedback this week…though I still think that people will only comment if I act like an inconsiderate moron.

David R. - The PSP was close to having its week, but Fable 2 and Bioshock were in its way. LBP was supposed to be there too but, let's stop talking about that. It is true, I enjoyed the original Fable, but it didn't change my reality like was promised. Also, Rock Band 2 doesn't come out on the Wii until December which is just…so angering.

Mark Salmela - I highly doubt that Jill Valentine is dead, but the concept of it still shocked me. The Master of Unlocking will never die!

Toddo - While I like NBA Ballers (somewhat), I would be ecstatic if they brought back NBA Jam. But whenever I think about it, I remember their other attempts at a newer NBA Jam…and all of those were pretty shoddy. They need to take the Tecmo Bowl route and make an updated NBA Jam for the DS…that would just be incredible.

Spacefight - Everyone has different preferences for wrestling games, and I prefer the more realistic but still goofy Smackdown 2 style. I was addicted to Mario Strikers, and never addicted to Mario Golf or Tennis…so giving Strikers the nod was a no-brainer.

Mike - Tell me, Mike, is SKATE really that good? It must be if you are willing to give up Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 forever.

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The 411

It was a busy week, as always, on 411, lets check the other columns that hit the site this week.

The 10th Hour by Derek Robbins. This week is about the holiday releases, and what in the name of jeezy creezy is Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts on this list. It isn't called Top 10 games that will ruin the series, is it?

Fact or Fiction starring Ramon Aranda and Rod Oracheski. Obama's advertisements are interesting, but I hear they are only in borderline states. Considering I'm in Illinois…I don't think I'll be seeing those ads on Madden.

The Full Circle by Joe Roche. Roche talks about the rumor of MGS4 coming to the 360 in the Hot Button. I don't see it happening, but it'd be nice if it does. I wouldn't mind seeing less PS3 fanboys lauding the PS3 as the best system based solely on MGS4.

Nintendophiles by Theo Fraser. No More Heroes 2? HECK YEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Achievement Unlocked by Rod Oracheski. NBA 09 is getting trophies, but NBA 2K9 won't be getting them…well, at least I'll be getting the better game.

Working Title by Jordan Williams. The Ogre gives us his pet peeves, and I agree with him. Every time I see characters in a show playing a game that sounds like the old NES games, I just want to kill someone.

The PC Spotlight by Chris Vicari. I haven't even got to talk about the Starcraft "Trilogy" today…how awful. Talk about bad ideas, nobody buys Starcraft for the single player, and I highly doubt I'll be picking up all three campaigns.

The PC Centric Extravaganza by Chris Evans. World of Goo looks incredible, I might have to get that game. Secret of Mana came out on VC, and I already have 300 points so…I would have enough! I need to buy a Wii Points card…

Alright, that is it for this week's slightly disgruntled version of Coming Attractions, come back next week when…Fallout 3 is going to win the game of the week (*maybe not). No doubts about it, I may hate it…but everyone loves Bethesda besides me for some reason. Leave me a comment below or email me at [e-mail]. *Update: Oh, LBP might not be delayed till November…maybe just a week…now I feel good.