Games Only a Mother Could Love 01.01.09: Night Trap (Sega CD)

Posted by Mark Salmela on 01.01.2009

This week: Dana Plato’s greatest hits and on the XNA the first video game to ever tell you to “get raped”.

Welcome back everybody, I am your host Mark Salmela, and if you've chosen to celebrate the new year by reading this column than it's time to look at what you've been doing with your life. I'm kidding of course, as I'd feel like an idiot sitting here preaching to myself about how awesome the Sega CD is *imagine what I'll be doing when I'm old and senile*. Just like last week *with Christmas Day* I'm the only games writer on the site to have a column go up on New Year's Day 2 years running, so suck it Vince. With that said I've got a busy couple of days coming up with the New Year and all, so I'm going to cut the crap and get right to the good stuff.





Night Trap (1992)


They don't make box art this awesome anymore.


This week we're going to discuss the game that is synonymous with Sega CD *along with Sonic CD* and that is Night Trap. Night Trap is so controversial that it *along with Mortal Kombat* was the subject of the 1993 Congressional hearings on video game violence. While most of what was discussed regarding Night Trap at the Congressional hearings was either untrue or skewed, that doesn't change the fact that Night Trap nearly got the government to impose its own ratings system on video games *and over time lead to the ESRB's formation*.

So is Night Trap really worth all the hype? By today's standards, no, Night Trap isn't violent at all. In fact, it's quite comical, which is why I love it so much. Pretty much every death in Night Trap is completely over-the-top and improbable. After all, who rigs their house with death traps that includes knocking someone onto a bed which in turn catapults them out the window presumably to their death? But Night Trap is in fact a pedophile's/stalker's wet dream, in which you literally are stalking the girls throughout the house.


Hey, ever wonder what Genital warts feel like?


As for the gameplay, I'd actually argue that Night Trap is quite possibly one of the hardest video games of all time *forget what I said about Slam City*. In fact, without a FAQ I'd honestly say that beating Night Trap is impossible, because the second half of the game is filled with false kills and crucial kills that cannot be missed. Night Trap doesn't screw around; if you don't know where to be at all times you're going to lose *and Night Trap does not give you any hints what-so-ever*.


The infamous death scene that made Congress flip out.


In Night Trap, you take control of presumably yourself, now a member of S.C.A.T. *Sega Control Attack Team later changed to Special Control Attack Team* sent in to protect a bunch of teenage girls left alone for a slumber party. Why a task force is needed to protect a slumber party is well beyond my comprehension. The game starts off with some pissed off lieutenant telling me it's my job to protect Dana Plato from the terrible blood sucking Augers *basically a form of vampire*. But I can't just go in guns-a-blazing, I have to do it ninja style by taking out the Augers using the house's built-in protection system. Why I can't just grab a couple of the AK-47's chilling in the background and take care of business Rambo style is once again a mystery to me. Besides, post-menstrual lieutenant over there isn't doing jack shit, why does the world's fate fall upon my rookie ass?


There's so much win in this scene that I'm not even going to bother making jokes.


So in Night Trap you don't actually control anyone, but instead switch between cameras set-up throughout the house and activate traps when your meter moves up into the red alert area *assuming that you have the right color password to activate the trap*. It takes some getting used to, and you'll probably die ten minutes into the game the first time through like I did, but eventually everything starts to click and killing Augers becomes second nature.


The main villains of Night Trap, the evil Mr. and Mrs. Martin.


Night Trap is split between two discs, with each disc taking about 15 minutes to complete *although you miss a lot of stuff the first couple of times through*. So while you can complete Night Trap in about 30 minutes, it's so difficult and packed with so much extra content that it'll be a game you play numerous times before completion *I must have played Night Trap over a dozen times now and I've still missed things*. In fact the big criticism I have with Night Trap is the fact that to get a perfect game *killing every Auger* you have to basically miss every scene and focus strictly on killing Augers. That means that I get to miss all the hot action as each of the girls at the party takes off more clothing as the game goes on *except for one girl who flat out takes off her shirt and walks around in her bra for the rest of the game about 6 minutes in*. Hell, getting a perfect game includes missing the entire Night Trap theme sing-a-long that I posted above in video form which sucks. Besides, how are all of these Auger's getting into the house if I've already secured the entire house several times already? You can kill them outside before they get into the house, but even then the bedroom is always filled with another couple of Augers going on a panty raid.


Here's part of a speed run I found on YouTube. Basically this shows all of the sweet, over-the-top kills.


I won't go through giving commentary as I play through Night Trap like I have other games, because to be honest Night Trap doesn't need it, it speaks for itself. I will say that I've spent many a late-nights playing Night Trap with my friends, and beating Night Trap at 3:30 in the morning right before the sun starts to rise is quite the feeling. Not to mention your reward for beating the game is the option to kill Dana Plato *which in theory defeats the purpose of playing the game, but it's not forced on you like in Prince of Persia*.


Peace bitch, it's been fun.


Night Trap is pretty much the flag bearer in terms of full motion video game. If you think of FMV, you think of Night Trap on the Sega CD. While it's not perfect, I do think it is a solid game that was worth the price of admission back in 1992. By today's standards it's actually a pretty tame game, but some of the scenes still stand out today as awesome *such as making Dana Plato fall in an endless pit to her death*. If you own a Sega CD, you need to own Night Trap.


So zombies are vulnerable to bullets, but vampires aren't?




Games Only I Could Love

Johnny Platform's Biscuit Romp (XNA)



This week's submission from the XNA is surprisingly the first game that I actually recommend buying *since the other games I recommended could basically be beaten in the free trial*. Johnny Platform's Biscuit Romp is a 2D puzzle platformer that despite a couple of control issues with the double jump is actually very good. It's no Braid *the art style is quite poor*, but there are quite a few surprises hidden within this game.

Player's take control of who else, Johnny Platform, on a quest to drink as much coffee as possible *at least I assume that's the story*. Through 55 levels your goal is to kill every enemy on screen until the exit opens up while drinking as much coffee as possible. Drink 16 cups of coffee and Johnny Platform announces that he's had "uh… too much" and gains an extra life. Johnny actually has quite a potty mouth, and is not afraid to speak his mind throughout the game. This is what completes the experience for me, as Johnny Platform's Biscuit Romp is the first game ever to my knowledge to actually tell you to "get raped" if you die. Johnny has an awesome voice, and I love hearing his different impersonations as the game goes on.

In true platformer style every enemy is killed by jumping on its head, and the last few levels especially require quite a bit of thought to complete. At first glance Johnny Platform's Biscuit Romp is a nothing more than an armature 2D platformer that could have been on the Atari 2600, but it will win you over with its charm and surprising amounts of depth. Like I said it's not quite the brain tickler like Portal and Braid were, but if you enjoyed either of those games I highly recommend checking out Johnny Platform's Biscuit Romp, for 200 Microsoft points it's a steal.





Well that's it for me everyone. I hope you've enjoyed this week's edition of Games Only a Mother Could Love. If you spent your first day of the new year reading about Night Trap, than you know it's going to be a good year. Be sure to check out all of the other new columns on the site, we've been running rampant adding new writers to the site *Joe Roche better start watching his inbox, we might have to cut the fat soon*. As for yours truly, I'll be taking next week off for my birthday. Hey, last year I put columns up on Christmas Day, New Year's Day, and my birthday, so 2 out of the 3 this year isn't bad at all. Be sure to send in suggestions for future columns as well as feedback, as besides a couple key games like Target Terror, I've gotten most of my "most do" columns out of the way *pretty much the last 4 columns*. Anyways, I'll cya guys in a couple of weeks, I'm off to party.