The Select and Start News Report: 01.05.09
Posted by Vincent Chiucchi on 01.05.2009
It's a special "WTF?!" edition of the Select and Start News Report. Hentai style soda, woman destroying a Wii with her credit cards, guy beats up his girlfriend because he got a Wii, rumor of Lego Rock Band being made, and more.
This week with most people still on holiday, there was pretty much little to no news to talk about. But several stories did pop up that had me going "WTF, SRSLY?"
These are those stories.
This Week's Stories
YOU GONNA GET GRAPED! [credit: Kotaku, GiantBomb]
Mnemosyne, a company that likes to make geek-chic brands, has come up with a new soda they say is the perfect caffeine rush for gamers, cosplayers and comic book fans: Tentacle Grape Soda. The soda's name is based on a genre of animated porn. Six packs are currently available for pre-order at www.tentaclegrape.com for $15.99 plus shipping. People who ordered before today would get free Tentacle Grape branded condoms or bumper stickers.
From the press release: "Obviously I don't take the brand very seriously… we can't. The best I can do is develop products that I'd want to buy myself and frankly this is the right combination of ridiculous and delicious." Says brand creator, Dekker Dreyer.
Additional flavors and label designs are slated for the third quarter of 2009.
It's not the name or the fact it has to do with anime porn I find offensive. It's paying $16 for six bottles of 12oz soda, and apparently that's the only way you can purchase the drink right now. If I wanted to pay ridiculous prices for soft drinks I would live in Manhatten. Plus I have a feeling that like the Cocaine energy drink, the name is honestly the only thing going for this product.
MAYBE THE WII JUST DOESN'T ACCEPT MASTERCARD [credit: WiiFanboy]
This is the kind of story that leads to new warning labels having to be made.
According to HUELEN10 on the NeoGAF forums, his neighbors got a Wii for Christmas and the mother asked for game recommendations. HUELEN10 suggests some retail games and one for the Virtual Console. Not familiar with the Virtual Console, the mother asks how it works. HUELEN10 said that it would require, in his words, to "put in her credit card when prompted on the Shop Channel, and get the amount of points she wanted." Some time later, she called and claimed that her Wii was damaged and that HUELEN10 should pay for damages. Apparently when he said she needed to put in her credit card, she took as having to insert the credit card into the disc slot. When it didn't work the first time, she tried with two more credit cards. So she wound up with a broken Wii and three now unusable credit cards.
Has this woman never shopped online before? How you can think that you needed to insert your credit card into the disc slot?! I feel sorry for the kids who got screwed out of a Wii because their mother can't shop.
Maybe they can ask the following guy for his Wii...
GUY GETS A WII, BEATS UP GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE OF IT [credit: GamePolitics, Boston Herald]
Heath Blom, 26, of Portsmouth, New Hampshire really wanted a $1,000 remote controlled airplane from his grandparents, but instead what he got was a Nintendo Wii. Blom was furious over this and got into an argument with his girlfriend, Randi Young, 24. Young allegedly hit the game from Blom because of the way he was acting, and the two eventually got into a fight which with each other. Police were called in to arrest both of them on misdeanor charges.
Damn do I hate stupid spoiled white people.
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK AND ROLL AND BUILD?! [credit: GiantBomb, Kotaku, VideoGaming247]
One series that has become really popular with casual gamers are the LEGO games. As the series grows to include more franchises based on popular TV shows and movies, gamers would sometimes wonder who would be next. Who would ever guess that the next franchise getting the LEGO treatment would be Harmonix's popular music game Rock Band? At least, that's the RUMOR going around according to a source at VG247, who says that Travelers Tales is working on a LEGO Rock Band and that this information is "100% correct."
A LEGO Rock Band? I seriously doubt that is actually going to happen. What would the point be of making a LEGO version of Rock Band anyway? Would be just like the game only really dumbed down for kids?
FAKING SUICIDE WILL NOT GET YOU FREE STUFF [credit: 1UP, GamePolitics]
A 17-year-old Ohio gamer had an online conversation with a Blizzard representative when he typed that "he was suicidal and that the game is the only thing he has to live for" apparently to try and get what we wanted in the game. Instead of getting free stuff however, the rep called 911 and police and paramedics arrived at his door only to find out he was joking. He was then handcuffed and placed in a patrol car. The police charged the boy with a first-degree misdemeanor.
Stupid kid got what he deserved.
January 5th - Saints Row 2 ported to PC
January 6th:
-Star Ocean: Second Evolution (PSP)
-Big Bang Mini (DS)
-Retro Game Challenge (DS)
January 13th:
-Lord of the Rings: Conquest (X360, PS3, PC, DS)
-Mirror's Edge ported to PC
January 20th:
-Ar tonelico 2: Melody of Metafalica (PS2)
-Dead Rising: Chop Til You Drop (Wii)
January 21st - Skate 2 (X360, PS3)
January 26th - MLB Front Office Manager (PS3, X360)
January 27th - Afro Samurai (X360, PS3)
February 2nd - Gauntlet (DS)
February 3rd:
-Rygar: The Battle of Argus (Wii)
-My WorldMy Way (DS)
-Burnout Paradise ported to PC
-Ninja Blade (X360)
February 10th:
-Legacy of Ys: Books I & II (DS)
-Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection (PS3, X360)
-F.E.A.R. II: Project Origin (PS3, X360)
-X-Blades (PS3, X360, PC)
February 17th:
-Street Fighter IV (X360, PS3)
-Dragon Quest V: Hand of the Heavenly Bride (DS)
-Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and Damned (X360)
-Prinny: Can I Really Be the Hero? (PSP)
-Sacred 2: Fallen Angel (X360, PS3)
February 20th - The Sims 3 (PC)
February 24th - Puzzle Quest: Galactrix (X360)
February 27th - Killzone 2 (PS3)
February 28th - Tabula Rasa to be shut down
March 2nd:
-Damnation (PS3, X360, PC)
-Shellshock 2: Blood Trails (PS3)
-This Is Vegas (PS3)
-Samurai Shodown Anthology (PSP)
March 3rd:
-Star Ocean: The Last Hope (X360)
-Halo Wars (X360)
March 13th - Resident Evil 5 (X360, PS3)
March 17th:
-Valkyrie Profile: Covenant of the Plume (DS)
-GTA: Chinatown Wars (DS)
-Trackmania DS
-Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball (Wii)
March 22nd - Pokemon Platinum (DS)
March 24th - Phantasy Star Portable (PSP)
March 29th - Guitar Hero: Metallica (X360, PS3)
May 1st - Batman: Arkham Asylum (X360, PS3, PC)
Video of the Day
As I've already mentioned, rumor has it that the next LEGO game is going to be based on Rock Band. I wonder if it'll be anything like this:
Posted By: Guest#3018 (Guest) on January 05, 2009 at 09:09 AM
I just hate stupid people, indescriminantly.
Posted By: G-Walla (Guest) on January 05, 2009 at 02:44 PM
"Damn do I hate stupid spoiled white people."
Wow... What does skin color have to do with being rich stupid, or spoiled? Are you saying that you would not hate say... a rich, spoiled & stupid Asian kid?
Bad form sir, skin color had nothing to do with anything involved in that story.
Posted By: Srsly? (Guest) on January 05, 2009 at 03:23 PM
Stupid people suck regardless of color. Certain groups sure do seem to better at that whole stupidity thing, though.
Posted By: Steve307 (Guest) on January 05, 2009 at 07:25 PM
Considering the writers name is "Vincent Chiucchi", I'm willing to bet he's white as well. I am caucasian, and while I don't hate them, I have no use for stupid spoiled white people either! Or black, asian, hispanic, etc. Lighten up people
Posted By: Whiteburbia (Guest) on January 06, 2009 at 01:50 PM
