The 10th Hour 02.27.09: The Top 10 Worst Video Game Movies

Posted by Derek Robbins on 02.27.2009

It's no secret that games have had a rough time when it comes to being converted over to film. This week, the 10th hour discusses which of these transitions have been the worst. Destroying your childhood one movie at a time, which of these films deserves to be at the top of the list? Read on to find out!

Hello and welcome to the 10th Hour. As always, there are a couple of tangents that I would like to roll off on before I get things started today.

-Playing Street Fighter IV online is fun and all but I can't help but notice that there are about a million Ken users out there. The problem is: I also use Ken. I've almost decided to switch my main just so I can be a little different. I'm pretty good as Sagat and Sakura so I'm considering moving over to one of those two. Such a shame because I really fucking love Ken.

-I was pretty sad to see Christian lose his ECW title match. Honestly, when I heard he lost I was kind of worried. Usually when a wrestler loses a title match cleanly so early it doesn't lead to good things. Luckily, this isn't one of those times. Swagger and Christian put on an EXCELLENT match that made both the challenger and the champion look strong. They made you wonder throughout: "Wow, either one can win." It's crazy, but I actually feel better about Christian in the WWE following that loss. I'd like to see him in Money in the Bank now that the title business is over. That or uh…a triple threat between Bourne, Swagger and him.

-I recently finished Retro Game Challenge. Well, I guess I shouldn't say finished. I made it to the very last day of the 80's and am tasked with beating every game. Yeah, I don't really see that happening. Guadia Quest is just too old school to see myself forcing my way through. I also completely hated the first two Haggleman games. Whatever though, it was a pretty fun ride and if you're looking for a new DS game to waste your time with, I'd go with this one.



Top-10 Worst Video Game Movies

Since there were no comments last week – due to me taking the week off – we can skip right to the meat! This week we're discussing the top-10 worst video game movies ever. This is the sort of list that would be hard to comprise a "best of" so I figured, hey, let's go with worst. Basically, to make this list you need to be based off of a game in some way. Or, err, be entirely based around gaming as is the case with one of the titles that makes this list. In a way, these movies are all enjoyable because they are just so bad. I know I get a huge kick out of watching a couple of these.

So put on some nostalgia glasses and get ready to have your childhood ruined!

Also, no, I didn't forget the Resident Evil movies. I actually…kind of dig those. The Resident Evil games have a pretty ridiculous plot as is. I think the movies just follow in tradition. I love that!

10-) DOOM - Doom is a classic video game. It helped to revolutionize the first person shooter genre and is remembered fondly to this day. Hell, I know a lot of people who still religiously play the game. I guess it helps that it's easily modifiable. When I heard that there was going to be a movie adaptation to it, I was kind of excited. If a game lends itself to the movie format, I think DOOM does it quite well. I mean, hell opening up on a Mars base? I could not possibly emphasize how much I want this.

Then I saw that The Rock was in it. Sure, I love Dwayne Johnson as much as the next guy, but when he's your title actor, it's hard to have much faith in the movie. I mean, yeah, I had an outside hope of him dropping the Rock's Bottom on Satan at some point, but that never really happened. A matter of fact, there was no hell opening up at all! The Mars base apparently has some sort of virus break out and its up to the space marines to take care of the threat.

I guess part of the appeal of the Doom series is that while you have people at the beginning, you're alone for the rest of the time. This movie takes the fairly traditional horror movie approach of having a group of people and as the movie continues people get picked off. Really, you can see it anywhere. It doesn't really work very well here as the horror bits aren't particularly entertaining. Combining a frustratingly slow movie with putrid acting and laughable dialogue, you have a pretty lousy movie.

There are a couple of saving graces that prevent it from ranking higher though. First of all, they have this first person bit towards the end of the movie that pays homage to the series. A lot of people seem mixed on it, but I think that sort of thing is really cool. There were rumors of having a scene with healthbars in the new Street Fighter movie and I was let down when they decided not to do it. I thought it was neat. I also thought that there were times that it was so bad it was funny. Like, ridiculously cheesy funny. There are a lot of movies like that on this list though, so it doesn't really net DOOM any bonus points.

DOOM doesn't really do service to its source material, but is that a surprise?



9-) Pokemon the First Movie - This is a film that I was literally shaking with anticipation to see. I was a total Pokemon freak in my youth and some of that has carried over to today. I mean, I still totally love the games after all. So, like every pokemon obsessed kid, I dragged my parents to the movie in order to see my beloved creatures on screen. For any of the rest of you who did that, well, you know exactly how well that turned out. This movie isn't even funny bad. It's just bad. The sole animated film on this list had to bring it, I guess.

The movie starts out with a short called Pikachu's vacation which introduces us to some new Pokemon that we've never seen before. You had Pikablu Marrill and Snubble and a couple of others that could be caught in Pokemon G/S. There really isn't a whole lot going on here, it's just goofy creatures acting goofy. It's cute, it's nonsensical, and in a child's eyes, well, it's going to keep ‘em entertained at least. As soon as this little bit ended, I remember hearing a father behind me saying: "Well, the movie is over! Let's go!" …I have a feeling my Dad felt the same way.

So the actual movie gets going and it's not a whole lot better. Yes, there is talking now, which is always a plus. It all goes downhill from here though as Mewtwo, a pokemon who is apparently self aware and fluent in English tongue through telepathy, attracts a bunch of strong pokemon trainers to his island in order to test his strength. That's the plot. Really, that seems more suitable for an anime episode than a movie, but whatever. What followed was an exercise in poor dialogue and poor, well, everything. I mean, what movie has a line that goes: "Wow, I didn't know there were still Vikings out there!" "Yeah, they mostly live in Minnesota!" Doh ho ho, nice one Ash.

The end of the movie sees Ash sacrifice himself in order to get the Pokemon to stop fighting with each other. It's horribly weird that Ash suddenly comes to the realization that this form of cock fighting is wrong but it's equally weird that EVERYONE else realizes this at the same time. You see, Mewtwo creates clones of all the pokemon and they fight each other. I guess fighting yourself isn't cool or something? So Ash, instead of simply using his pokeballs to make a stand and refuse to fight, simply throws himself into an attack launched by Mew and Mewtwo. He turns to stone and then he dies.

Except not because the Pokemon tears brings him BACK TO LIFE. Only through the power of cinema folks! Mewtwo, after almost killing some guy even though he killed like a hundred scientists earlier in the movie, decided that he was doing wrong and flees the scene after wiping everyone's memories. So, now that they don't think pokemon fighting is wrong anymore…they start pokemon fighting again! YAY! A LESSON WAS LEARNED!

Ugh, seriously, if this sounded confusing to you just reading this, trust me, I'm right there with you. This movie was a mess. I can kind of enjoy watching it because I just picture a little me in a theater digging every second of it (and to be fair, some of the battles are pretty cool). If you step outside the eyes of a child though, this movie is a pretty big pile of shit. Mom, Dad, if you're reading this – which I know you're not – I'm sorry that I had to subject you to this film.



8-) House of the Dead - Hey look! We got to our first Uwe Boll movie! Alriiiight! If that name wasn't enough to scare you away from this movie, well, think about it for a moment. This is a movie based on the light gun game House of the Dead. I mean, look, there's not a ton of source material there and making a movie out of that seems quite, well, GOOFY. You'll see the trend of lack of source material repeated over and over again on this list. Seriously, if you have to be creative yet you lack creativity, just stay away huh?

Just like DOOM before it, this movie takes a fairly traditional horror movie route of starting with a large group of people and slowly killing them all off until you get to the main characters. Generally speaking, I guess I can't complain too much because the original game is essentially just a couple of guys with guns shooting a bunch of zombies which doesn't really go into the movie format quite well. Still though, it'd be nice to see someone break away from this little trend. Of course, it sure as hell won't be Uwe.

Really, this movie is the definition of B-movie fare. The acting is putrid, the writing is putrid, the action is putrid, really…there's not much redeeming here. I guess if you're horribly lonely you can enjoy the nudity the film offers? I'm really reaching here I guess. You may notice that as I wind down the list, the movies become more and more enjoyable in some goofy way. I don't know, maybe I just enjoy really bad movies? The thing is, this one really has no redeeming qualities. It's hard to displease me when it comes to zombies but God. There was nothing here that I liked and that's just a damn shame.

There's also probably another reason why this doesn't rank lower on the list. I don't care if Boll says that he's misunderstood, he HAD to know that this movie was a total B movie affair. Looking at the production values – it had a massive $9,000,000 budget – and the acting, I mean, there's no way he didn't know. It just leads further credence to the idea that Boll is some sort of crazy troll. What's even worse is that SEGA is featured prominently in the film. Hell, Sega of America president Peter Moore is a freaking zombie in it! Come on guys, come onnnn.

This is a movie with very little value. Then again, everyone should have seen this coming. No source material = no buys. It's a shame, what a shame.



7-) BloodRayne Uwe Boll movie number 2! Alright, good job man, you're doing the industry proud! Really, I was never that big on Blood Rayne in the first place. As a game series, I always felt it got way more credit than it deserved. Really, if they just put a random vampire dude there it probably wouldn't have been near as popular as it was. I mean, yeah, it was a good game…but I really never understood the acclaim that it had. Kind of a shame it did get that acclaim because, you know, Mr. Boll wanted in on some of that action.

Rayne is this sort of crazy vampire who isn't affected by crucifixes and doesn't thirst for human blood. So…she's not really a vampire then? Really, at that point, the sun is the only vampire trait she still has and even then who is to say she simply won't glimmer in the sunlight? Anyhow, she was brought into existence when the vampire king Kagan raped Rayne's mother. Alright, un-necessary rape in a movie. This is going well.

So a group of three people compose this society that fight vampires. These guys hope to go up against Kagan and kill him. Now would be a good point to mention that Kagan commands an army of vampires and humans. So, really, three people on an army doesn't exactly seem like a good idea. Hell, even the Street Fighter movie had the sense to include soldiers to go up against the Shadaloo army. So, this society tries to recruit Rayne because, you know, she hates her Dad. Their main goal is to stop Kagan from getting three items that make vampires immune to typical vampire killing devices such as the sun and water.

What follows is a movie with horrible writing, un-needed sex scenes and poor acting. I mean, obviously the plot is cliché. You mean the villain is trying to gather artifacts that make him more powerful? I've never seen that before! The thing is, Boll doesn't even have the same benefits he had with House of the Dead. While the $25 million budget isn't the most ever, Million Dollar Baby had a budget of $30 million and was a really damn good movie. So you could definitely work with it. It's also significantly more than what he had to work with in House of the Dead.

Still though, some really weird choices were made. For instance, Boll hired actual prostitutes to act in the movie. This isn't just some internet rumor, Boll said as much in an interview with UGO! He even said that during a particular scene they did a good acting job. Yeah, okay. It's no surprise that the movie ended up being nominated for six Golden Raspberry Awards. Luckily, people weren't as mystified with this movie as they were with Doom (which garnered over 20 million) because the movie only grossed $3,591,980. Good.

BloodRayne is just proof that maybe, just maybe, you should take more pride in your franchises. Lending them out to the king troll of the movie industry may not be the greatest idea you've ever had. I've not seen any Blood Rayne games for this generation, have you? Not saying the movie is the reason for that, but…I'm just saying.



6-) The Wizard - You probably knew this movie was going to make the list when I said that there was an exception made. The Wizard is not based on a video game but is instead based on a kid who is ridiculously good at video games. Well, that's not the basic premise of the movie. You see, this kid named Jimmy is suffering from a mental disorder after his sister drowned. He misses her so much and for whatever reason starts chanting "California" over and over again. When his parents put him in an institution his brother Corey, played by Fred Savage, gets him out of there and runs off to California with him. This is to make him better, I guess.

Along the way, they discover that little Jimmy is good at playing video games. They also recruit a random love interest girl along the way for very little reason. Why? I'm not sure. I guess they just needed a love story. Anyhoo, these are poor kids who live a while away from California, so they hitch rides along the way to get there. They also hustle elderly men out of their money to get there. Now, it seems implausible to me that a bunch of rich old guys would be joking it up in an arcade but…whatever. Jimmy needs to get to California, continuity be damned!

Along the way they run into Lucas, the guy they wanted to be Jimmy's rival I guess, who is a total badass. I mean, he has a power glove! He loves it because it's totally bad. They end up having Jimmy face off against Lucas and some random competitor in the finals, Jimmy wins and he also ends up getting over his mental condition when they drive by this dinosaur place they associate with his sister. That, uh, makes a lot of sense!

Look, The Wizard would have worked great as a thirty minute special or as a little video that Nintendo sent out through the mail. You remember those, don't you? Nintendo used to send these little preview videos through the mail that made you want their products. This movie is really no different than that as it comes off as an hour and a half long commercial for Nintendo and Nintendo accessories. It also used a very cruel trick to net people into watching the film: The North American debut of Super Mario Brothers 3. Seeing that on the big screen was a big deal and thus, people were excited to get into it.

To be frankly honest, I have a soft spot in my bitter heart for this movie. Despite all of its flaws, despite the inaccuracies everywhere (you can turn off a console by pulling out a controller?), despite the fact that it was an hour and a half long commercial, something about the Wizard is just so appealingly goofy. It's a TERRIBLE movie, but a lovingly crafted terrible movie. An implausible adventure with Super Mario Brothers 3. You also have the awesome Lucas and the crazy adventures of Jimmy's Dad trying to get him back. It's bad, but it's just so lovably cheesy.

Just kick back and put yourself in the time period and you may sucker some cheap enjoyment out of this. I may just be a sucker for pain though.

chicka, chicka

5-) Alone in the Dark - Alright, the third Uwe Boll movie to make the list. This baby is just going strong! Originally, this movie was supposed to be release alongside the fifth Alone in the Dark game but that plan was scratched as Alone in the Dark 5 was delayed. So, to say that the movie strayed far from the plot of the games may be technically true, the idea was for it to not do that. A matter of fact, Alone in the Dark 5 featured similarities to the movie so you could kind of say that, just maybe, they are kind of related.

Which just speaks to how shitty Alone in the Dark 5 really was. I mean, when you think about the Alone in the Dark franchise, you think of one that is exponentially important to the survival horror genre. It may have fallen a long way since then, but at its inception…there really wasn't much out there like it. Combining with a decent plot and legit scare moments, Alone in the Dark was memorable. One of the best games ever? No. It was important though.

The movie really doesn't follow this logic though. Boll, who had originally developed a script that mirrored the first game fairly closely, decided to go with a more cinema-oriented picture. He hired two fairly poor actors in Christian Slater and Tara Reid to play his leads and relied way too heavily on gun play to tell his story. He really ignored a lot of what made the game special, including the fact that Lovecraft's Cthulhu mythos played a pretty important role in the plot structure. You really got none of that here.

Really, the only thing the movie did well was piss off the fanbase. A lot of people thought that it had enough additional plot that it could be considered a sequel to "Alone in the Dark: A New Nightmare." While Alone in the Dark fanboys are hard to spot these days, rest assured most people were not quite content with this Boll movie acting as their fifth Alone in the Dark game. Kind of a shame that the fifth one was a lot like the movie. Maybe that's why everyone thought it was so shitty?

Unfortunately, Alone in the Dark features very few redeeming moments and is worthy of skipping all together. Unless you really like watching movies that go out of their way to troll the original fan-base, this is just not something you should be watching.



4-) Street Fighter - Any of these next games could probably be ranked at number one. Really, most any movie on this list outside of Doom and Pokemon the first movie could rank towards the top. There's a good reason for this, they're just so god damn bad. Street Fighter does what House of the Dead did wrong. You see, they took a game with very little plot substance (at the time, mind you) and tried to make a movie out of it. They could probably make a decent Street Fighter movie now if they gave it their best effort – No, no, no, I'm not talking about Chun-Li – but at this point in time it was just about impossible. …Unless they ripped off the anime movie completely.

The movie primarily follows Guile in his war with Shadaloo. Guile's actor is infamously Jean Claude Van Dam. For an American, he sure has a wacky accent eh? As you can guess, his character is pretty poorly acted but at least we get some crazy fight scenes huh? They also decide to kind of fuck with the very thin Street Fighter canon. You see, Ryu and Ken are now con-men who steal money from criminals. This leads them into direct conflict with Sagat. I mean, look, I'm not terribly picky about this kind of thing but Ryu and Ken wouldn't do that! Especially Ryu! Bah, whatever though.

This movie was a complete cheese fest all the way through. The fights, what fights they had at least, were all very putrid. Seriously, when you compare the action in this film to the action that the first Mortal Kombat movie had, it's really not even close. There were even some fights that were for pure humor such as Zangief vs. E. Honda. I mean, as kid I thought it was absolutely hilarious parodying Godzilla here, but now? I don't know, I can't find myself doing anything but face-palming at it.

Another problem with the movie is that it couldn't quite decide who its main character was. Yeah, I know I said that it primarily focused around Guile, but it jumps around an awful lot. One second it's following Guile and his crazy quotes:

Troopers! I have just received new orders. Our superiors say the war is cancelled, and we can all go home. Bison is getting paid off for his crimes, and our friends will have died here... will have died for nothing. But... we can all go home. Meanwhile, ideals like these - freedom, and justice - they get packed up. But... we can all go home. Well... I'm not going home. I'm gonna get on my boat, and I'm going up-river, and I'm going to kick that son-of-a-bitch Bison's ass so HARD... that the next Bison wanna-be is gonna feel it. Now who wants to go home... and who wants to go with ME!

The next it's following Ryu and Ken through their crazy con-games and working against the Shadaloo underground. You also get the neato adventures of reporter Chun-Li! It's crazy and even after that you have some frankly bizarre choices in character. Like, for no reason at all, Dee Jay is made into a Shadaloo subordinate alongside Zangief. Also, Balrog turns against Shadaloo despite the crazy amount of money he's supposed to be getting. It really, really doesn't make much sense.

This movie is notable for a few reasons though. First, before he appeared in any video game, Charlie appeared in this movie. Yes, the amazing Abel Chrarlie found his way onto the Street Fighter scene through the movie first. It was also the first time that Chun-Li has been referenced as a news reporter. Obviously, this isn't true, but the idea that she is kinda lives on to this day. Plus, it's poked fun at a lot, which might be why she's a reporter in Megaman 9.

It's also known for being Raul Julia's last film. Kind of sad, but he did a great job as Bison and didn't shy away from the role despite it being completely freaking ridiculous.

Here's the thing, Street Fighter is an absolutely terrible movie. At the same time, I find it totally charming and lovable. It's full of cheese, it has some absolutely wacky quotes, and it's funny in a way they probably didn't intend it to be. It RUINS the Street Fighter canon and is kind of a slap in the face to the games, but I want to be honest here: I don't care! I don't! It's such a goofy film that should not be taken seriously at all. It's not "slap your head" bad like Alone in the Dark is. It's like Plan Nine from Outer Space bad. It's just funny.

Here's hoping that The Legend of Chun-Li is bad in the same way.



3-) Double Dragon - This marks the end of the "Just Bad" movies on this list. This movie continues the trend of movies that should not have been made because there just wasn't enough source material. I mean, yes, Double Dragon was a very fun Beat ‘em Up that had people converting their paychecks into quarters, but the action in game didn't necessarily translate to the big screen. It was much better suited to being an animated show, which…it was. It still wasn't very good though.

Look, I really don't have a lot to say about this movie. It didn't leave a significant impression on me to be honest, which may be why it ranks so high. It featured a pretty ho-hum plot involving a medallion. It also features one of those "what the hell" moments with one of the two (Billy or Jimmy, I forget which it was) destroying a Double Dragon Arcade cabinet. I mean, if it's a Double Dragon movie…it's based on the game? So wait, the game it's based on is in the movie? Did…they go forward in time, grab an arcade cabinet from some scribes who were chronicling their adventure and had converted it into a game, and bring it back with them. You know, so they could successfully control BimmyBilly and Jimmy.

I guess the main sin of this movie is that it's forgettable. It's bad, it's poorly acted, it's nonsensical…but nothing about it leaps out at me. I remember they do that thing that everyone hates where they hint at a sequel when no sequel is guaranteed but again, really, what's the point? If you're dead set on seeing the Dragons on screen though, I guess you could see it. It's just not as lovably bad as the Street Fighter movie.



2-) Mortal Kombat: Annihilation - It's no secret that I'm not a huge fan of the Mortal Kombat series. The thing is though, even I can admit that I kind of liked the first movie. It wasn't a bad movie, it was actually a pretty entertaining action movie with some good fight scenes. To say the least, I enjoyed it on a different level than I did the Street Fighter movie. Unfortunately, thanks to the film's success, a sequel had to be made and to say it ruined what the first movie did right is a bit of an understatement.

First, let's look at the cast. Apparently they decided that the script for film number two was too bad and most every actor was changed. The only ones that stayed on board were Liu Kang and Kitana. I guess that's nice since they were pretty much the main characters. The actor who played Reptile also stayed on board, but for whatever reason he was given the role of Sub-Zero. I guess for his loyalty? The rest are a new bunch which is an immediate bad sign.

It's interesting that they had so many changes though because, really, there's a shit load more characters in this movie than there were in the first one. Like, remember the first Futurama movie where they tried to fit every single character the series has ever seen into one movie? It was kind of like that, except much worse. While the Futurama movie maintained the ability to build characterization, the sequel did not. They brought in about a hundred characters from the Mortal Kombat cast and brought them in for very little reason and also took them out for, well, very little reason. It's confusing and kind of rage inducing.

On top of this, the storyline was really over-done and kind of confusing. There is a whole hell of a lot of VERY BAD fighting scenes mixed in with this to make matters even worse. Seriously, a character will be talking one second and the next they'll be engaged in Mortal Kombat. Again, the first movie did this as well but at least when they did it, it was entertaining. The fight scenes in that movie were good but here? Something was just off. Poor choreography or something?

You also got to have possibly the worst fight in movie history here as well. You see, towards the end of the movie for whatever reason Liu Kang transforms into this giant dragon which looks just horrible. He does battle against Shao Khan who turns into a giant…something. They do this by tapping into their Animalities. That's right! They turned those throw-away animalities from the video games and made them their own little section of the movie! Alriiiiight. The plot reason for this is that Nightwolf spoke to Liu and taught him how to awaken it…or something goofy like that. Seriously, if you're bored, watch this fight sometime. It's ridiculous and it's pretty funny. It really looks like something out of the Power Rangers.

I wish they would have just let it end with the first Mortal Kombat movie but they just kept it going. What's even worse is that a third movie, Mortal Kombat: Devastation was planned out. This movie kept getting pushed back and delayed though and nobody really knows the status of it to this day. It's still technically planned to be made but will it ever? Probably not. Let's hope not at least. It's hard to bounce back from Annihilation. Why even try? Also, Devastation is a dumb follow up title though I guess I'm not sure what else you could have put up.

I believe Jason Gibner of Allmovie said it best with "Whereas the first film was a guilty schlock pleasure, this sequel is an exercise in the art of genuinely beautiful trash cinema."



1-) Super Mario Bros. - It just makes sense that the very worst video game movie is based off of source material that doesn't lend itself to the cinema at all. Once again, movie makers, if the game's plot doesn't evolve far beyond "A DINOSAUR HAS KIDNAPPED THE PRINCESS, SAVE HER", a movie for it doesn't need to be made. Unfortunately, people need to make money and from that need such projects are born. Super Mario Bros., as you know, is just that kind of movie.

The movie goes for a plot in which Bowser, the ruler of an alternate world, is trying to merge his world with our world and rule both. I guess ruling one just isn't enough? His goal to do this is by taking some sort of meteorite and getting the worlds to combine. Conveniently enough Daisy, the princess from Bowser's world who was expelled from there at a young age in order to save her, is in possession of this and Bowser sets out to kidnap her. Let the hijinks ensue.

Bowser's main form of combat, the thing that makes him feared the most, would be the de-evolution beam. This beam, when shot at someone, forces them to de-evolve into a simpler state. For instance, when Bowser shoots this at a human they would turn into a primate. Stuff like that. This also leads to Bowser's defeat as Mario and Luigi use the beam on Bowser to de-evolve him. There's really no jumping and not much in the way of combat, it's just…kind of weird. I mean, I guess having the actor who played Mario jump on shit would look a little weird though.

Perhaps the biggest problem with the movie, outside of the plot obviously, is just how freaking messed up the characters look. If you've ever seen a goomba before, you're expecting maybe a little walking mushroom? The movie's interpretation of this is a big muscular guy with a super shrunken head. Yeah, uhm, okay then. You also have Toad who starts as a reptile but turns into a Goomba. If you remember, a Goomba is a traitor to the mushroom kingdom…so is Toad a bad dude now? Another character, Yoshi, also looks flat out bizarre and you have to wonder whether the creators of the movie were using Mario as an inspiration or just making shit up as they go.

This movie also came out before Princess Peach had a name, so we were to assume that Princess Toadstool was in fact Daisy. So no, the Daisy in this film is NOT the Daisy that we know today, but instead Princess Peach. They have her hook up with Luigi because, well, if you had to choose between Mario and him, the choice is very easy. Seriously, look at the film adaptation of Mario? Clearly, this matchup was not meant to be as Nintendo later created their own princess for Luigi who was, oddly enough, named Daisy. Coincidence? I don't knoooow.

This movie is another one that does the annoying trend of leaving on a cliff-hanger when they don't know whether or not there will be a sequel. To be totally fair, the guys making this movie had to think so. I mean, they were making a movie based off of the fucking Mario brothers. There was NO CHANCE it would fail. Unfortunately, it did just that, and we never found out what was going to happen. You see, at the end of the movie our world and the Koopa's world separate. Luigi and Daisy love each other but they must separate! That's fine, if it had ended there, whatever. Instead, for no reason at all, DAISY comes back at the end of the movie and says they need help again. Well, obviously, the Mario Brothers aren't going to just leave her hanging!

This movie was such a disaster that even Shigeru Miyamoto said it was a bad idea. Yeah, really, you think? Every time you've leant Mario to another source the results have been tragic. Luckily, the same can't be said for Zelda (please realize I'm speaking of the stellar Ages/Seasons games and not the CDi titles). I wonder what could have happened if they had just made a fun movie and not tried to include all those fucked up looking critters? Could have been interesting, I guess.

Despite a budget of over $40,000,000, the Super Mario Brothers movie was a box office bust and was Nintendo's least successful theatrical release OUTSIDE of the Pokemon movie, Pokemon Heroes. It's interesting because after the first pokemon movie, the rest start making more sense but I mean, whatever. If Super Mario Brothers lost to a movie that parents evaded like fucking cancer, you know it had to be bad.

Overall, making this movie was a very bad idea and I'm sorry to everyone who had to suffer through the production of it. It's fun to watch and enjoy just how bad it is, but nothing really has neutered the source material quite like this.



Honorable Mentions: Hitman, Tomb Raider

Well, that's it for this week. As always, feel free to comment below or shoot me an e-mail at [e-mail]. It's your choice really. All of your feedback is greatly appreciated and I feel it helps me get better at what I do. Soo, thank you.

Before I go, let's take a stroll around our gaming section shall we?

Theo Fraser writes The Nintendophiles

JDL writes What I Hate About You. This week centered on the Street Fighter franchise.

I write B3yond the Report

Chris Vicari writes The PC-Spotlight. He continues his EVE online series.

Drew moderates Three Player Co-Op. This week it's between THE OGRE, Adam Larck, and Drew. DEMERITS to one of the greatest commenters Travis for agreeing with Ogre that SC IV was better than SF IV.  Such a shame.

Tommy Coloma writes The Release List

Greg Bruno writes What IF?. This week it's a showdown between Drew "Luigi" Robbins, Mark "Salmonella" Salmella, and Greg "Elite Four" Bruno.

Ramon Aranda hosts a Fact or Fiction between MISSSSSTEEEEEER Anthony Kennedy and Theo "El Dio" Fraser.

Trace Aber writes LIVING LIVE!

Jordan "The Ogre" Williams writes Working Title

Joe Roche writes the Full Circle 360 News Report

AJ an Mike Minotti are the voices of the Exploding Barrel Podcast. I am probably alone in this, but I really didn't think the original Metal Gear was all that good.

Well, that's it for this week. I'm out.

'til the crossroads

Screenshots
All 9 The 10th Hour Screenshots