Undertow (Xbox Live Arcade ) Review
Posted by Ty Huston on 02.05.2008
Come with me ... my love ... to the sea, the Sea of Love ...
Game: Undertow
System: Xbox Live Arcade
Developer: Chair Entertainment
A little background here, just for the file. During the 2007 holiday season, Xbox Live was experiencing some serious difficulties with dropping players and other such fun things that bring back aggravating memories and make me realize I need to take my medication again.
Anyway, Microsoft wanted to say they were sorry for the problems and decided to give the Xbox Live subscribers a free Arcade game. Did they just shell out 1000 Microsoft Points to everybody and rejoice? No. They picked Undertow and gave people a week to pick it up for free.
Yeah, they got a lot of flack for it.
But here I am, faithful reader, to review the game and help in decision to determine if their consolation prize was a stud or a dud.
You may take my goldfish … but you’ll never take … my FREEDOM!
Welcome to Undertow – a game based on the polar caps of Earth melting and subsequently burying nearly all of it under water. Wow, that sounds like an awesome idea for a movie! Let’s see … we need a lead character … let’s say a normal dude who has mutated so he can breathe water! YES! And to play the lead character, we need someone who chicks will squeal for and who we know can kick ass. Hmm … Van Damme? The Rock? Schwarzenegger? Stallone? The ghost of Jack Lemmon?
Hell no. I’ve got the perfect guy.
Kevin Costner. Oh yeah.
Check it out … [dream sequence]
And I shall call it … Waterworld. Isn’t that right Mr. Bigglesworth?
[/dream sequence]
Original idea, huh?
Alright, so it’s not that original. Basically, what happens is that some dude named Nemo who’s been around for a hundred years or so is pissed that all these landlubbers be wanting to swim in his pond, so he goes after them. You get to be the hero (if you choose to be, anyway) and fight him off.
It’s an underwater shooter that is very simple and really easy, but could fill a sick day if you were on your death bed and the cable was out and you couldn’t reach your wallet to buy a different game from Xbox Live Arcade.
Billy forgot that he didn’t have to wear his scuba gear above the water’s surface.
During play, you have the choice between four types of characters, all with a different look but pretty much the same even though they’ve attempted to make them different. As you kill crap and gain points, you can spend your points to upgrade your stuff but it only applies to that particular level. So each level is like a clean slate, with you sucking at first and getting your ass handed to you – unless you can find a good hiding spot where they come at you and you can kill them before they can attack you.
Don’t get me wrong, the game isn’t BAD by any means, it just isn’t that … fun. And I hate to be that way, because I really like side scrollers. It’s just that between shooting crap, switching characters, upgrading your peeps and capturing outposts, it feels like the game has so much going on that you can’t actually be entertained.
The game is very linear, but has some decent graphics and isn’t a horrible gameplay experience by any means. It’s a decent game, but overall I feel I got a bit cheated with my “gift” for Microsoft’s boo boo.
Graphics
8.0
Pretty decent stuff for an XBLA release.
Gameplay
7.0
Repetitive and boring, but not difficult to pick up and run with. I've seen worse.
Sound
7.0
Not too bad, not too great. The voice acting choices were kind of wierd.
Lasting Appeal
5.0
You beat it once, you delete it. It's just not a keeper.
Posted By: natedoggcata (Guest) on February 07, 2008 at 01:37 PM
I downloaded it cause it was free. And it was a lame attempt to make up for some Microsoft stupidity. (How could they not expect new subscribers over the holiday) That being said, I have yet to touch this game since download. Not even to try it.
Posted By: Toddo (Guest) on April 25, 2008 at 12:20 PM
