NFL Head Coach (Xbox) Review
Posted by Joshua Richey on 07.24.2006
How does EA's new coaching simulator stack up?
Have you ever found yourself lying in bed at night asking yourself: ‘When will game developers finally create an exceptional NFL Head Coaching simulator?’ Well if you have, then I’ve got bad news for you: you’re going to have to keep waiting.
From afar, NFL Head Coach seems like a great concept. You play as a young successful offensive/defensive coordinator that is fresh off a Super Bowl win. You’ll answer some pretty uncomplicated questions regarding the gridiron, from NFL owners. Once you’ve accomplished this; you’ll begin to get job offers. You’ll get to pick and choose which NFL Franchise that you wish to guide. At this point the game begins to get exciting, as now you will begin to form your staff, talk to the owner, and build your team. This was great at first, but the execution is atrocious. Any time that you have a dialogue with a fellow coach, owner, or agent – you’ll have to conduct the conversation throughout a series of boring and frustrating menus. Your remarks are limited to a simple yes or no in most situations. EA invested some time in a trust system; but it’s really quite unimpressive.
The game proceeds to just fall out of the Bad Tree from there, and hit every single branch along the way. Once you’ve formed your staff, you’ll begin to target players in free agency. After that is completed, you’ll begin to scout collegiate players for the NFL Draft. Again, all of this sounds fun – especially for die hard football fans; but it’s the execution of these things that brings the game down. Hiring and firing coaches should be fun, especially the firing. It should be a blast to pick up free agents and conduct the NFL draft. It’s should be, but it’s not. Instead it’s uninteresting, tedious, dull, mind-numbing, lackluster, and any other negative adjective that you feel like using.
Completing your first off-season as an NFL Head Coach will take you around 8 hours of uninspiring gameplay. Its then, and only then that you’ll begin to actually coach. And when you begin to actually coach your team, you’ll learn one thing about being an NFL Head Coach. It sucks.
Basically, you’ll just pick a play from your repertoire, and allow the games AI to play it out for you. Oh, is this a good time to mention that the game AI is horrendous?
Graphics
Those accustomed to playing EA’s Madden franchise are used to seeing these very same graphics. Your coach looks unrealistic, swollen, and mentally retarded. Where as your players are still very bulky, and look to have been hitting the ole’ juice, a bit too much. The game interfaces are difficult to navigate through, due to their bad design. The games graphics in general are dull and half assed.
Sound
There is very little dialogue in NFL Head Coach. When replying to an owners questions, your coach will simply say ‘Oh, alright’ or ‘Yeah, ok’. This is supposed to be a coaching simulator EA, not the replica of a P. Diddy song. The games weak dialogue is matched only by it’s clusterfuck of a sound track. None of the songs on the EA Trax are related in any way to either coaching or even sports, for that matter.
Lasting Appeal
The only joy that I have from walking away from this game is just that, walking away. I enjoy the Franchise mode in Madden. I liked the weekly coaching feature in NFL 2K5. So, it’s not that I’m not in this games target market. In fact, I think that this games target market is mentally challenged old folks that are in a vegetation-esque state.
Fun Factor
There is fun to be had with this game. You could perhaps use the game’s disc as a drink coaster. Perhaps use it to play some Frisbee Gold with. There are plenty of ways to have fun with this game. Just none of them involve playing it.
The 411
What a let down. The only words of encouragement that I can offer to you people, is that this is the first game of the franchise. And that it can only get better from this point. Right?
Graphics
4.0
Blah! Rushed, bad, and boring.
Gameplay
4.0
Complicated menus, bad AI, constantly repetitious.
Sound
5.0
The in game music doesn't seem to match the game, and the coaches are limited to a vocab of two words.
Lasting Appeal
2.0
My lasting appeal is that I want those hours of my life back. I can waste them in much better ways.
Fun Factor
3.0
About as fun as being taught Quantum Physics by Paris Hilton.
