Opoona (Wii) Review

Posted by John Curry on 05.06.2008

The perfect example of how you can completely miss your goal and destroy any future success at the same time.




Intro:

I have always been a fan of Japanese style games and RPGs so when I was offered the opportunity to review the game Opoona for the Wii, I jumped right into it. Unfortunately, it was nearly impossible to swim out of this festering pile of gaming. Rather than get detailed as I can possibly with this game, I cannot condone advocating the purchase or rental of this game to anyone, even my enemies.

Graphics:

This is the best part of the game. That does not say much about the game though. Complimenting this game’s graphics is like telling an ugly chick she has a nice personality. It’s about the only thing nice you can think to say. The game tries to incorporate an animation cell styling. The characters are beyond ridiculously done. They look like the rejects from a Pokémon series or Lil’ Tyke’s toys. Poorly designed and without any innovation in variation of the enemies or your allies is another show of lazy design. The game actually tends to replicate characters identically while only changing their names or often times omitting them altogether and replacing them with ***. The “GPS” map is nothing more than a picture of the facility with your red dot. I am serious; there is nothing else on the map. The graphics are the beginning of this shitfest so this is as polite as I am going to get with this game.

Gameplay:

The catch point of this game is that it operates solely on with the nunchuck controller. Just point the nunchuck in the direction you want to move and push the mouse in the direction you want to move. When you want to fight you simply point it at the target and pull the trigger. The longer you pull the trigger the more “English” or spin you put on your “Bon Bon” or energy ball stored above your head. The game provides different styled attacks that you can pick up or purchase such as fire or ice or increased mass, but in all reality they really do not do much that is noticeable. The enemies are boring and easy to defeat at all levels. Some of the enemies are nothing more than freaking balloons. Combine this insult with the fact that no matter who you are fighting you have two minutes to defeat them. You can angle your attack by turning the nunchuck in the direction or path you want it to travel. The game centers around you obtaining different “job licenses” which will allow you to complete different tasks to progress throughout the game. While this would sound like an interesting concept the game absolutely misses its mark on every level. The side missions bored the hell out of me. There is no objective list so you spend half your damn time just walking around going what the hell?The gameplay is monotonous, childish, and absolutely disgraceful. This game is only furthering my idea that the Wii put all of its money into simply making an advanced power glove and completely ignored their audience and their game division. This is just downright horrible to the point where this game is insulting to game players everywhere.



Sound:

This is one of the few times in a game where I have actually unplugged my hearing aids from the television and enjoyed the benefits of being deaf. That should say all there is to say about the boring sound and the piss poor music. When you aren’t listening to these noises you are treated to bouts of silence that just continue into eternity. Again just furthering the decline of the Wii in my mind.

Lasting Appeal:



This game wouldn’t last five minutes in your Wii without you making your way back to the store to beg that they let you return this game. You will offer to pay them to take it back. This is one of those games that you are happy if you only get fifty percent of your money back. Absolute garbage.

Fun Factor:

There is a reason that the Japanese don’t even buy this game. This will be in the $9.99 bin before summer is over. I really feel bad because with some damn effort this game could have been interesting enough to deserve my money. In the end the one handed controls, the total lack of usage of the Wii technology and the just poor game in and of itself prevented this game from being anything I would recommend for any reason but to tell someone you don’t like them and want them to leave. Put this game in when you want them to leave and five minutes later you will be resting peacefully in your empty house. I am embarrassed to have punished my Wii by making it play this game.


The 411

This game is an absolute nightmare. Poorly done in every way. While the premise is interesting and I realize that there will be a certain constituent of people who will purchase this game simply due to the lack of RPG on the Wii, and will enjoy it because it is an RPG on the Wii, the vast majority of the gamers in this world will follow the pattern of the Japanese market and try to avoid this game like the plague. I suggest you do the same thing.

Graphics	3.0	Nothing special. The only part of this game that has any resemblence to being enjoyable.
Gameplay	1.5	Just horrible. What a total waste of the Wii system. If you aren't going to use the system you port your game to to the best of your ability don't port it at all.
Sound	1.5	It might as well be on mute.
Lasting Appeal	0.0	This game has no lasting appeal at all. NONE. ZIP. ZILCH. NADA.
Fun Factor	1.5	What a freaking nightmare. You will have more fun just sitting around waving your Wiimote at a television that is turned off.
Overall	1.5   [ Extremely Horrendous ]

Screenshots
All 10 Opoona Screenshots