Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard (PS3) Review
Posted by Mark Salmela on 03.20.2009
I never thought I’d see the day where I get to kill Soviet Russians and rhinestone cowboys at the same time! Oh and there are dancing girls in bikinis!
Title: Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard
Publisher: D3 Publisher
Developer: Vicious Cycle
Genre: 3rd person shooter
Players: 1
Rated: T for Teen
Also available on: Xbox 360
I have to give Matt Hazard credit; it’s a video game that is actually aware that it is a video game. A video game that is a parody of other video games is a relatively new concept, and I applaud Vicious Cycle for attempting something new. It’s just too bad that the game also knows that it isn’t very good, and sadly, that isn’t very funny. There are plenty of awesome one-liners in Matt Hazard, but if the game isn’t fun to play, then I’m not going to be laughing. I really wanted to appreciate the sense of humor that Matt Hazard portrays, but there are too many gripes that I had with the game. Here’s my full opinion.
Graphics
Not so tough are you now Tron?
The graphics in Eat Lead are actually pretty good, but the environments leave something to be desired. One of the first jokes in the game is “not another sushi level”, and while that’s humorous, it isn’t fun to play. I wouldn’t mind going through relatively bland environments if they were short and changing at a fast pace, but most levels drag on way too long and overstay their welcome. Matt is also one of the most generic video game characters ever, and I don’t know whether or not that was by design, but if it was the joke sure wore off after 5 minutes.
The one stand out feature of the graphics are the enemies themselves. As I said in the teaser for this review there are all sorts of enemies, and you can end up fighting multiple stereotypes in the same level. In my opinion the Soviet Russians are the best, as they’re in full on winter suites despite fighting in a variety of different locations, all in temperatures that call for relaxed wear. This is a situation where being a parody works, as I love the fact that the cowboys have such thick accents and the soldiers from the squirt gun game all talk like they’re Robo-cop. Plus the guy portraying the wizard sounds a little like William Shatner, and that’s just awesome.
Gameplay
You tell John Wayne that Matt Hazard is coming for him!
Matt hazard is a typical 3rd person shooter. You can hold up to two weapons at the same time, but you can’t make use of anything such as grenades. There is a cover system in Matt Hazard that is an absolute necessity, and in this aspect it plays like Gears of War. Peak out of cover, shoot, push a button to dive over to more cover, shoot some more, you know the drill. All of this would be perfectly acceptable except for one big glaring issue, and that’s hit detection. About 75% of the time enemies will not react at all to being shot unless it’s a head shot, in which case it’s an instant kill. So if I don’t pull a head shot off on every enemy I’d often have no idea if I was actually hitting the enemy, as it’d take 3 or 4 shots before they’d finally react. In a game that relies so heavily on shooting, it’s a pretty big error when the enemies don’t react to your gunfire.
The weapons in Matt Hazard are acceptable although nothing that’ll set the world on fire. The default weapon is the Hazard pistol, which is basically a supped up pistol. There are a couple of other pistols, a few types of semi-automatic machine guns, a shotgun, and a few other enemy specific weapons such as the squirt gun, but nothing too out of the ordinary *minus that squirt gun that actually doesn’t suck*. There are power ups that Matt Hazard can use throughout the game such as an ice power up that’ll freeze your enemies but just like everything else in the game you’ll grow bored of them after 5 minutes. There are also quick time events that can be triggered by getting near an enemy. You see there isn’t an actual melee button, but rather an initiation into a quick time event where you proceed to knock out the enemy. Some of the bosses will also be fought using quick time, although they’re very easy and very forgiving if you don’t have a trigger finger. I must give credit to Matt Hazard for the fact that you can still be shot during these quick times events, which makes it quite realistic. For example if I tried to go up and punch somebody in the face during a gunfight I’d probably be shot and killed in 5 seconds, just like Matt Hazard.
Matt Hazard will take the average person around 6 to 8 hours to beat, with the final two levels taking a large part of that time. I’m serious, the last two levels take forever to beat, and it’ll really test your patience for this game. This is one of the rare times that I’ll actually complain that there is not a multiplayer. Normally I do not mind if there is no multiplayer aspect to a game, but Matt Hazard does not have enough content or variety to make up for the absence of any sort of multiplayer. Besides, Matt Hazard is a parody of shooters, and almost all of the games it’s parodying have multiplayer, so why couldn’t Mr. Hazard? Besides, I really wanted to play as the Soviet Russians.
Sound
I really felt a strong connection to the characters, particularly this guy.
One of the big features of Matt Hazard is that Will Arnett and Neil Patrick Harris have voiceovers, but honestly, I could care less. I’m not watching a movie and I don’t really care who’s voicing the characters, as long as they don’t suck at their jobs. Since the story for Matt Hazard is a joke, I would have rather they got a stereotype to play Matt. How about someone parodying Duke Nukem or Marcus Phoenix? As I said before I find that the best voiceovers in the game are the stereotypes such as the Russians and the cowboys, so I would have rather seen Matt rip off some well-known video game characters. To Matt’s credit he does have his own catch phrase “it’s Hazard time”, but it gets old after the second or third time. Everything else after the voice acting came from video game music 101. The guns in Hazard sound like every other gun in a video game and the level music is some of the most generic and uninspired music I’ve ever heard. Once again that may not be the point but it’s still not entertaining.
Lasting Appeal
Here’s generic death animation number 5.
As I said before Matt Hazard is a relatively short game, and most users will complete it in less than 8 hours. After that there is pretty much no replay value what-so-ever. Almost all of the Trophies can be obtained on the first play through, and with no multiplayer modes at all, there is little reason to replay this parody. I guess you can play through on the hard difficulty, but I found it challenging enough on normal. This is a game that could have used a multiplayer mode, as it could have actually been pretty entertaining. I for one am intrigued by the idea of an online arena-style multiplayer that is a parody of other multiplayer games. Multiplayer doesn’t need an actual storyline, so it could have helped to make up for the terrible single player story.
Fun Factor
No, I will not take a clean plate each time I go up to the buffet.
Did Matt hazard provide the occasional funny one-liner? Yes, yes it did. Did Matt Hazard provide glimpses of an entertaining game? Again, yes it did. Did Matt Hazard come through on providing an entertaining game? Not really. It wasn’t an abortion or anything, but Matt is pretty much a one trick pony in that the only real joke is how bad the game knows it is. I almost felt as if I would have enjoyed Matt Hazard more if I were to have watched it and not actually played it myself. Without any sort of replay value or a multiplayer mode Matt Hazard boils down to a generic 3rd person shooter that suffers from some pretty big errors such as its hit detection.
The 411
He’s definitely one of a kind!
The reason why parodies of movies work is that they require no input from the person viewing them. Disaster Movie doesn’t require any input from me, so it doesn’t matter how bad the movie actually is. But in a video game I have to actually give feedback to the game and put in effort, and if the game isn’t fun to play, then it all falls apart. A parody of a video game can only work if it is actually well made and fun to play. Matt Hazard is not very well made and not that fun to play. Had Matt Hazard been shorter and been released as a downloadable game for $10 or $15 bucks than I would be willing for forgive some of the errors in Matt Hazard. But for a full retail game that sells for $50 it isn’t acceptable. I like the concept of Matt Hazard, it’s just too bad it was poorly executed.
Graphics
7.0
The environments are very bland, but nothing is an eye sore. The enemies are all awesome stereotypes.
Gameplay
5.0
Matt Hazard is a very generic 3rd person shooter. It would have been acceptable for a parody except for the fact that the collision detection sucks.
Sound
4.0
I don't really care who they got to voice over the game, the only good thing to come from the sound department are the stereotypical voices of the enemies.
Lasting Appeal
4.0
Matt Hazard can be beaten in 6 to 8 hours. After that the game is pretty much over and there is no reason to go back.
Fun Factor
5.0
There is the occasional funny joke, but sadly the game fails to amount to anything above mediocre.
