A Little Push - Thoughts on the Hollywood Machine 04.11.09

Posted by Rick Tym on 04.11.2009

A PG-13 Terminator: Salvation, new Wild Things images, a stand-alone Venom film and other tidbits better than that inexcusable cheapo drug store Easter candy...

Is Salvation Going Soft?

A Pizza Hut tie-in web page answers in the affirmative. If you head on over to this Terminator: Salvation Pizza Hut promo site you can see, clear as day, that the upcoming fourth installment of the series is slated for a PG-13 release come May 21st.

A PG-13 Terminator film? That, my friends, is not salvation—it is the beginning of the end. Or is it? More on that in a second.

Does anyone around here remember how the whole PG-13 rating thing came about? Seems that in the theaters back in the Eighties some guy named Indy was busy trying not to have his heart ripped out of his chest by a cult leader and some people took offense to it. (You know, Temple of Doom, the Indy film that was infinitely more enjoyable than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Another factor involved was some little furry cute animal fighting green scaly Gremlins that same year. Apparently, some people had a problem with a scene that showed one of those scaly green dudes melting down to its skeleton, eyeballs exploding, due to unadvised prolonged sun exposure. (Somebody big cog in the Hollywood Machine was involved in the production of both films. Spielberg? Lucas? Bueller? Bueller?) Parents and their whining. Don't take your kids to these kinds of movies!!!

Just kidding. I know that such scenes were a bit extreme for younger kids in the audience, while teens were sure to be capable of handling such "fantasy violence." A line of demarcation was drawn in the celluloid and the powers that be that 13 would be perfect cut off age when it came to determining who could handle such cinematic shenanigans. Technically it started with Dreamscape, that classic movie about, well dreams, the psychics that were capable of entering them, and a big freakin' snake monster.


Remember this dude? He was scary at the time. No, really. Okay, I was like nine. See that, PG-13? You didn't stop me then!
Dreamscape was the first movie to be tagged with the PG-13 rating. The first movie to enjoy a widespread release with the restriction was Red Dawn, which told teenagers everywhere that they should prepare for the inevitable Russian commie invasion. Indeed, 13 year-olds hastened to learn how to to shoot rifles, drink deer blood and shout the names of predators to the heavens (a classic intimidation tactic) just in case those dirty red bastages ever parachuted into their practice football fields.

At the time, PG-13 was considered an effective way to curb the kiddies from seeing movies with a slightly more adult tilt than, say, Ghostbusters. (No arguments in the comments section about that one being PG-13, people. It was a VHS box error, not a conspiracy to limit the fun of those that found Slimer amusing.) Now, PG-13 is considered the most egregious of classifications when it comes to our favorite film properties that once wore the proud badge of the rating R. A film is also interpreted as being more children-friendly when it carries a PG-13 rating. However, according to most members of the geek community, this is akin to neutering the male family dog. Sure, they'll still be your pal, but that leg humping spark is lost. Does A Little Push agree? Sometimes…


Yippee ki yay, mother(gunshot). Honestly, what the (bleep) was that all about?
Live Free or Die Hard was not a bad movie. But it was a watered-down version of our favorite Bruce Willis character of all time. (Yes, I liked Moonlighting too. Let's just move on.) But the Push has gotta have its John McClane done right, and that particular brand of seasoning comes with eff-bombs and other gratuitous colorful catchphrases. If they would've just let John be John (or, you know, let Bruce be Bruce) they could've lain off all those fancy explosions or over-the-top stunts. (Jet fighter flashbacks, anyone?) Me thinks that the directors and producers (of which Willis was one of) were overcompensating for the PG-13 rating by making things go boom! And the unrated DVD release that followed the theatrical one doesn't count when it comes to making up for this indiscretion. I saw Die Hard With a Vengeance in the theater, and I know what makes an exceptional Die Hard flick a great crowd experience. So once again, the fourth installment in this franchise was not bad--but it sure as hell wasn't that great, either. The Push thinks they just should've made another Die Hard movie instead of making it a bit kid-friendly. So that's one vote against the PG-13 rating and it's possibility to dumb down a franchise.

One vote to PG-13 ratings would obviously be The Dark Knight. No pun intended, this movie was dark, and the implied violence was arguably more powerful and disturbing than anything that could've been put blatantly put up onscreen for all to see.


The interrogation scene gets a little intense starting right…about…here.
No super long paragraph needed for the Knight…it was foreboding, adult and even a tad disturbing…and it was rated PG-13. So there's one vote for PG-13 ratings.

Let's let this quick discussion on Terminator: Salvation be the tiebreaker. As an adult that doesn't bring kids to R-rated movies (like the foolish parents I saw towing their kids into an afternoon screening of Watchmen), I truly believe that grownups should be able to see whatever they want on the screen big or small, regardless of content. Want to see dismemberment a la Saw? Maybe you don't, but that doesn't mean you should be able to stop me from seeing it. In other words, don't p*ss in my Cheerios, people. There are plenty of other things in the world to protest about.

With that out of the way, the discussion turns to whether or not the Push is worried about the PG-13 rating being tagged onto the Terminator franchise. At first I was, and even went on an ill-advised mini rant (only in my head, mind you) about McG screwing up the beloved Terminator saga. Then I took a deep breath, stepped back, had a beer, and thought about the fact that Salvation is going to be mostly human on robot syfy action. Sure, people are going to be slaughtered terminated in Skynet's human Earth purging, but do I really need to see blood on the lens and limbs being ripped from torsos to make the impact of the end of days initiated by computer fully resonant?

No. All I need is my Bale and my Worthington and some grungy special effects. PG-13 wins the tiebreaker in an argument shortened by my deadline and the fact that I'm traveling for the Easter holiday. It's going to be a decent flick, at least in the Push's eyes, and the benefit of the doubt it definitely extended in the form of a purchased ticket come May 21st.

The Push also wanted to talk about the possibility of a hard PG-13 today (and really, what the hell does "hard" mean anyway?) versus the R of yesteryear, but that darned lack of internet access coupling with a long car ride made it all a moot point—for now. Perhaps this topic will be revisited with some specific film-by-film breakdown and comparison when the summer "blockbuster" season is over and news topics are slim. In the meantime, enjoy this funny little image I found before I left my humble surroundings for one of those Verizon dead zones you keep seeing bad commercials about…



Your Weekly Wild Things Update

No jokey intro about that famous movie with some borderline softcore porn this week. Instead, simply feast your eyes on the latest poster and a new still image from Where the Wild Things Are…




Pics like this make me want my own wild thing.
More cool stuff from a sure to be cool movie coming our way this October. As always, the Push will have more as it rolls in on this beloved children's book adaptation!

Newer Public Enemies

This movie is probably already on your list of things to see this summer. How could you pass on Michael Mann directing Johnny Depp and Christian Bale in a film about famed Depression outlaw John Dillinger? Sounds like a win-win-win-win to me.

What you may not have seen yet though is the full theatrical trailer for Public Enemies, so here you go…



Public Enemies looks like another solid Michael Mann outing (I liked Miami Vice, God help me). Film is due out right about the time you should be buying your illegal fireworks, July 1st.

Venom Has Been Green Lit. Will There Be Continuity Problems With SM3?

Usually I don't rely on what Latino Review has to saw when it comes to advance script reviews (I did once and it forever chapped the ass of my internet integrity), but they do get a juicy nugget her here and there. Apparently Sony is moving ahead with a Venom standalone movie in spite (or perhaps directly because) of fan reaction to the way the character was a complete gyp in Spider-Man 3. While the pair of writers hired to pen the script admit that they are not experts when it comes to the Venom mythology (RED FLAG #1!!!), they went back and learned more when it became clear that they could "actually get" the job. That's RED FLAG #2!!! if you're keeping score at home.


Remember me? I hope not…I want another chance to endear myself to audiences.

Luckily A Little Push could not find a strike three at this time. I don't like the phrasing the writers have used but will give them a chance to prove it they're really gone back and done their homework on the Venom character. He's one of the most revered villains in Spider-Man lore, Sony—don't muck it up again.

Outtro

This is going to be a quick one because the family doesn't quite get why I didn't do the report earlier instead of cramming it in at the last minute. Actually, that's not quite true—I just want to spend some time with said family and am going to wrap this abbreviated column up a bit abruptly to do so. It's Easter, so I'm sure you all understand.


Have a great holiday weekend, everyone. Be sure to bookmark this news report or 411mania.com in general to make it easy to come back and get your pop culture fix. Until next time…