Misunderstood Masterpieces: The Man With One Red Shoe

Posted by Will Helm on 11.01.2005

…or, He’s Also the Guy with Two Oscars

It’s a hard life being an up-and-coming actor in Hollywood. You never know whether the path you’re on is the road to stardom or the road to ruin. For some, it comes quickly; others have to pay their dues. Above it all, though, you have to take what you can get until your big break comes and you can leave everything else behind.

One individual who had to pay his dues until stardom beckoned in the late ‘80s – to the present day – is lauded and award-laden actor Tom Hanks. While we’ve seen him before in these pages in the early ‘80s romp Bachelor Party, Hanks couldn’t quite parlay his initial successes – Splash, Bosom Buddies – into true big screen stardom. And so began a litany of Misunderstood Masterpieces featuring this likable, down-to-earth actor in a series of likable, down-to-earth roles, three of which shall be our next three studies. First among them is Hanks’ immediate follow-up to Bachelor Party, 1985’s The Man with One Red Shoe. Released in the twilight of the Cold War and just before the Iran-Contra scandal broke, The Man with One Red Shoe is merely a witty little game of spy-vs.-spy or evidence of what happens when the Central Intelligence Agency has a little too much time on its hands. Scooter Libby would be proud. Grossing nearly nine million dollars, The Man with One Red Shoe was a flop at the box office – especially when compared with Bachelor Party’s thirty-eight-plus million dollars take – but should it have been? Was the star-power of Tom Hanks night bright enough to light the way for this film . . . or was it doomed from the start? Let’s find out!

Unlike most of the movies I’ve done – but yet like some of them – the film opens with a creepy symphonic introductory credits sequence. Ooh . . . moody. Then, the next thing we’re treated to is . . . Dabney Coleman’s sunglasses! Ah, it’s nice to see Dabney Coleman. Even though it seems like he’s always working, he still needs to do more. Or bring back Drexell’s Class. Anyway, in addition to Dabney Coleman, there’s also a plethora of unexplained construction equipment; apparently, Mr. Coleman has business in the Middle East, so that’s where he is. Meanwhile, some dictator guy shows up and he hassles some chick (Lori Singer) in a BMW. After the chick appeases the dictator guy with some crafty Arabic, she then meets with a nerdy guy and she exchanges the car for a briefcase full of cash. All this hubbub for a trade-in? There must be something more. And there is, as the chick tells the nerdy guy that the tires are full of cocaine! Wow . . . it’s like The French Connection . . . but not. While the nerdy guy revels in his triumph, Dabney’s accomplice – who, like his partner, is dressed in stereotypically Middle Eastern garb – commandeers a crane and lifts the car above the nerdy guy, intending to crush him under its weight! The nerdy guy, not as dumb as Dabney and his associates think, catches on and dodges the falling car; upon impact, the tires explode, sending a cloud of cocaine into the air and the nerdy guy to a sure death sentence in a Middle Eastern prison. Oops.

Sometime later, in Congress, a Senate committee grills the director of the Central Intelligence Agency (Charles Durning). It seems that the nerdy guy was an agent for the CIA and his arrest – and probable execution – is a serious public relations boondoggle. The CIA director deflects the congressmen’s questions and then he does the same to a throng of reporters outside the room. Also evading the horde of reporters’ questions is CIA renegade Cooper (Coleman) who, after losing the reporters on his tail, ducks into a nearby bus depot. This may not be any ordinary bus depot, though, as – mysteriously – the chick from earlier in the film works there as well! Dum-dum-DUM! After a subtle signal, she and Cooper enter a secret lair underneath the bus depot filled with imposing and possibly nefarious computers and such.

After settling into their secret hideout, Cooper and the chick, named Maddy – if that is her real name – as well as some other conspirators, eavesdrop on a conversation between the CIA director and his faithful lawyer (awesome character actor Edward Herrmann). In the process of arguing with his lawyer about silly and insignificant subjects, the CIA director reveals to his humble advocate that his house is entirely bugged . . . which would explain how Cooper and his crew could eavesdrop on what they were saying. After the crafty CIA director – that is how you get that job, you know . . . by being crafty – starts a recording to throw off Cooper’s clever bit of espionage, he and his lawyer take to the backyard where the lawn sprinklers drown out the sound of their dialogue. It seems that the CIA head, tired of Cooper’s rogue maneuvers, wants a measure of REVENGE against his subordinate; in order to facilitate his vengeance, the CIA director reveals a juicy bit of information within earshot of Cooper’s bugs. Meanwhile, outside of Cooper’s purview, the CIA head gives his lawyer a mission: pick any random individual at the airport and use him – or her – as a decoy for Cooper’s machinations.

Over at the airport, both the CIA head’s and Cooper’s agents are all around, waiting for their subject to arrive. The lawyer and his agents, waiting somewhat impatiently, argue to pass the time . . . until the lawyer spies a man coming down the escalator, a man with one red shoe (Hanks). The lawyer, springing the CIA director’s plot into action, introduces himself to the mysterious man with one red shoe – intentionally by mistake – while Cooper’s troops – and the chick – fall for the ruse. As Cooper’s acolytes and Maddy take pictures of the enigmatic man with one red shoe’s every move, Jim Belushi and Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) search for the man with one red shoe and they also reveal his true identity: his name is Richard! Dum-dum-DUM! After finishing their work at the airport, Cooper’s accomplices retire to the secret hideout where they and their boss review the pictures and go over Richard’s actions after meeting the lawyer.

Sometime later, at Richard’s finely appointed Georgetown apartment, he teaches some Asian kid to play violin. While the Asian kid practices, Jim Belushi prank calls Richard; Cooper, meanwhile, listens in to the suspicious conversation as Jim Belushi mentions shoes, peanuts, and . . . senators! Cooper, his mind racing, sends his troops out to investigate Richard’s apartment and actions; Maddy, meanwhile, has misgivings while I use alliteration in this sentence. Cooper, after placating Maddy, then tells his resident psycho agent (Phantom of the Paradise’s Gerritt Graham, making two straight appearances) to take some men over to Richard’s dentist, since that’s his next destination, and to pull all of Richard’s teeth in search of some microfilm . . . that may or may not be there.

While Richard heads over to the dentist, the lawyer’s two agents follow him closely behind; perhaps they follow a little too closely as, while Richard repairs a tire on his bike, the agents’ car gets rear-ended after they stop a little too suddenly in traffic. Oops. I guess they’re not the best at being inconspicuous. Speaking of not-so-inconspicuous, Maddy and her team break into Richard’s apartment where they tear up every suspicious bit of furniture, plumbing, and such . . . which is pretty much the whole apartment. Over at the dentist’s, the psycho agent sends in a special CIA dentist who incapacitates the receptionist and Richard’s regular dentist; back at Richard’s apartment, Maddy spies – no pun intended – some of Richard’s childhood pictures and she gets all sentimental. Uh-oh; it’s always the women that endanger the mission. When will these espionage agencies learn?

Richard, with the lawyer’s agents close behind, finally arrives at the dentist, but he bugs out when he finds the receptionist missing and some odd orgasmic sounds coming from the dentist’s office. In his place, one of the lawyer’s agents goes to the dentist and the CIA dentist sedates him and then pulls all of his teeth! Oh, the hilarity. Richard, meanwhile, heads back home, where Maddy and her team go on full alert and rebuild Richard’s wrecked apartment in a very haphazard – and hilarious – manner. When Richard arrives at his place, Maddy is there waiting for him as a distraction since her team has yet to clear the room! Richard, who remembers her from the airport – she momentarily lifted his wallet for espionage purposes – thinks that she’s there for him, so he puts the moves on her until some old CIA agent guy shoots him in the rear with tranquilizer darts and Richard passes out in a heap on the floor allowing Maddy and her agents to leave unhindered.

Back at the secret base, Maddy goes over Richard’s biography, which somehow includes a Bachelor of Science from Juilliard. Now, I don’t know if it was different in 1985, but I don’t think it’s possible to receive a Bachelor of Science from Juilliard, as they’re primarily a school of music . . . but I could be wrong. Either that, or Richard faked his documentation and we have the proof! Dum-dum-DUM! After Maddy reveals that Richard is, in addition to being well-educated, rather quirky and eccentric, a CIA psychologist studies Richard’s handwriting and discerns – perhaps humorously – that Richard is severely sexually repressed. Ah . . . I’ll chalk that up under “too much information.”

Speaking of Richard, he later wakes up on the floor of his apartment and then he goes to the bathroom . . . where he turns on the sink and the shower mysteriously starts running. Bizarre. Richard, perhaps thinking himself delirious, then tries the shower, which merely makes the toilet freak out! I guess the CIA doesn’t have particularly good plumbers in their employ; remind me never to use the lavatories there. Richard, curious as to just what his toilet does when he flushes it, does so repeatedly, piquing the interest of Cooper over at the hideout. Cooper, thinking there may be a significance to Richard’s near-obsessive wasting of water, sends agent Squiggy (David Lander) into the sewers to investigate just what Richard is up to. Hmm . . . is that hilarity I smell? Or just raw sewage?

Sometime later, Richard plays violin in his apartment until he’s rudely interrupted by Princess Leia . . . although perhaps not too rudely as, when Richard opens the door, she immediately begins making out with him. Whoa . . . it’s good to be a violinist. Although it is here we learn that it is not Richard who is sexually repressed but Princess Leia as she is not only attracted to Richard due to a drunken one-night-stand, but she also has a strange Tarzan fetish as well. Umm . . . weird. Richard, perhaps proving that he isn’t sexually repressed – or is so sexually repressed that he can’t perform – refuses Princess Leia’s advances as he doesn’t want to cuckold his best friend Jim Belushi . . . who’s married to Princess Leia. And, as if it were planned that way, Jim Belushi shows up at the door as he and Richard have a baseball game to go to! Richard and Princess Leia panic, sending Princess Leia climbing out the window while Richard answers the door . . . and he receives a box of cigars from his charitable friend. Hmm . . . suspicious.

Richard and Jim Belushi – who betrays no knowledge of his wife’s actions – bike to their baseball game and all the other agents – the lawyer’s and Cooper’s – follow behind. Meanwhile, agent Squiggy remains trapped and lonely in the sewer. Where’s Michael McKean when you need him? Over at the baseball game, Cooper tests Richard’s sexual repression by sending Maddy running by the field with short shorts on while Richard mans second base. Richard, distracted by Maddy’s gracefully bouncing derriere, is pelted with a line drive and, after a moment of unconsciousness, he comes to and sees Jim Belushi and Maddy standing over him. Maddy, against everyone’s wishes, takes Richard away to safety. After the game, Cooper’s agents play back a tape of Princess Leia playing Tarzan with Richard; unfortunately for them, Jim Belushi overhears the audio and becomes enraged with jealousy! While the ambulance serving as the agents’ cover drives away, Jim Belushi gives chase until – through a convoluted series of events – he ends up dumped unceremoniously into the Potomac.

Over at Richard’s apartment, he and Maddy relax and she asks him for some orange juice . . . which she knows he has but he doesn’t! Two minutes into actually talking with her target and she nearly blows her cover; you’d think she’d be a little better trained. While Richard retires to the shower – which is still connected to the sink – Maddy reports in to Cooper; after the shower, Richard feverishly composes a musical phrase in the fogged mirror and then he blows bubbles after brushing his teeth with shampoo, courtesy of the CIA. Meanwhile, Maddy studies Richard’s sheet music – could it be Faust? – until Richard catches her and, in a fit of paranoia, snatches it from her grasp. Before Richard can explain himself to Maddy, Jim Belushi busts into the apartment in a rage because he thinks his wife is banging an ambulance driver. Jim Belushi, in his fury, busts up the CIA-repaired apartment while Richard calls Princess Leia, much to Jim Belushi’s unbelieving chagrin . . . until he finds his wife on the other end of the line. How confusing . . . for Jim Belushi, at least! Not for us, though, since we know what’s going on. I think that’s called “dramatic irony.”

Back at the headquarters, Cooper freaks out for no particular reason while Maddy tells him of Richard’s suspicious reaction to her finding his music. Cooper, his curiosity piqued once more, gets conspiratorial and sends his troops into action once more, this time to investigate a symphony concert Richard has that evening. Meanwhile, lonely agent Squiggy patrols the sewers and, sadly, is doused in human waste for no particular reason. At least the movie didn’t forget about him. Over at the CIA director’s place, the CIA head tells his lawyer that Cooper is so caught up in his job that he’ll never catch on to the fact he’s being played; the lawyer, on the other hand, just wants Richard to remain alive and not die as a pawn in this silly game of cat-and-mouse. Of course, the CIA head, like any good politician, states that his job is more important than the life of any paltry violinist. Of course, if he were an oboist, then it might be a different story.

Later that evening – it’s really hard to believe that all of this is happening in such a short time frame – at the concert, all of our conspirators are there to cause trouble and watch as Richard plays. Meanwhile, Richard, surveying the audience, sees Maddy sitting among them and he’s distracted by her presence. Even more meanwhile, Princess Leia, playing the flute, sees Richard watching Maddy and is caught with a pang of jealousy . . . until Jim Belushi, timpanist, notes Princess Leia watching Richard watching Maddy and he freaks out on the drums, much to the conductor’s (David Ogden Stiers) chagrin. After the scene settles a bit, Richard, inspired by Maddy’s presence, breaks into an impromptu solo which is not part of the program sending the harried conductor into a paroxysm of frustration. Leopold he ain’t. The conductor, as per his particular idiom, steps in and stops Richard’s momentary improvisation and the piece – Rimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade for you fans of classical music – continues on until Richard tears the sleeve of his tuxedo like a frustrated Looney Tunes character and the conductor storms off . . . probably to commit suicide with his baton. Not that I condone such a thing. But it is apropos. Then, as a punchline to the whole scene, Cooper studies and criticizes an analysis of Richard’s music, which ends up as nothing more than nonsense. Oops.

Later that night, after the concert, Richard goes to Maddy’s finely appointed abode because she sent him a note . . . which is rather reminiscent of The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?. Meanwhile, like the gypsy lady from the aforementioned Ray Dennis Steckler opus, Cooper watches Maddy put some moves on Richard from behind a two-way mirror. Richard, trying to play it cool, reviews the events of his very bad day – which we’ve been party to throughout this film – and Maddy elects to calm his nerves by seducing him. Well, that is a very calming action, I must admit . . . except when, through a convoluted series of events, Maddy ends up with her hair stuck in Richard’s zipper. Like something out of a low-rent madcap comedy – probably featuring a poor man’s Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn – Richard and Maddy stumble over to the bathroom to extricate her hair from his pants. Meanwhile, Cooper is up in arms because he now believes that Richard, master spy, is intentionally dimwitted. Um . . . . probably not.

With Richard’s pants still hanging from her hair, Maddy busts into Cooper’s side of the apartment and complains bitterly to him about Richard’s buffoonery. After Cooper placates Maddy’s concerns, she returns to the apartment to invite Richard into her bedroom where, unsurprisingly, they make out. Wow . . . it’s good to be mistaken for a spy. Although, unlike any cold, uncaring spy, Maddy hesitates before continuing further in the seduction because she doesn’t want their copulation to be just a one-night-stand. Maddy: the sensitive CIA agent. Somehow, during the course of her heartfelt confession, Maddy also attempts to extract information from Richard while Cooper watches intently from behind the mirror. Damned voyeurs. Forget about using CIA resources for nefarious purposes; it’s more likely that they’re being used for perverted purposes. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Richard, spurred on by Maddy’s prompting, reveals that he does have something to confess: he composed his little piece of music with Maddy in mind . . . and then, conveniently, he plays it while everyone listens studiously. After the impromptu concert – there’s a lot of usage of the word “impromptu” in this column today . . . odd – Richard and Maddy get it on . . . in the dark. I guess Cooper can’t rub one out behind the mirror now. Poor guy.

Meanwhile, over the course of that same night, the lawyer wakes up with a start in his bedroom. For some unknown – at the moment – reason, he calls his agents trailing Richard to check in and tell them to stay close by to their quarry. The next morning, Richard leaves Maddy’s apartment and Cooper tells his psycho agent that he now wants Richard rubbed out since Richard is, as of then, inconsequential. Either that, or Cooper’s just jealous that Richard got to bang the hot CIA agent and Cooper didn’t. Moments after Cooper gives the order for termination, his two hitmen follow close behind Richard, who is walking from Maddy’s apartment building . . . only to but knocked out by the lawyer’s agents. Speaking of the lawyer, he once again meets with the CIA director, who’s not happy that the lawyer is now disobeying orders, since the CIA director could care less whether Richard lives or dies at this point.

Later that day, Richard, in a generous and kindhearted sentiment, sends Maddy some flowers and chocolate. Before she can revel in the romance of it all, Cooper swings in to destroy the flowers and have his fat agent eat the chocolate. Yeah, he’s jealous . . . but he says that he thinks they might be bugged. Great excuse, Cooper. Really great. Once more, the CIA head leaks a little bit of information to Cooper through the wire – you know, maybe that’s proof that the CIA doesn’t have any good plumbers: there’s too many leaks – and Cooper, once more, readies his troops for action.

Meanwhile, back at his apartment, Richard plays a keyboard with headphones on – blocking out the bulk of the sound – until he’s rudely interrupted by a call from Princess Leia about some nonsense . . . like Jim Belushi wanting to kill him or something. You know; nonsense. Anyway, while Richard returns to the keyboard, Cooper’s hitmen and the lawyer’s agents bust into the apartment and end up in a standoff in another room, out of Richard’s earshot. Richard, meanwhile, is once more interrupted by the telephone, this time it’s a frantic call from Maddy, who says that she’s leaving the country and can never see him again. That’s CIA code for “I’ll be dead and at the bottom of the Potomac within twenty-four hours. Please water my plants for me.” At least I think it is. Richard, in a panic, leaves his apartment and, with him gone, one of the lawyer’s agents attempts to make peace with Jim Belushi’s cigars. Unfortunately, they’re trick cigars, so after the expected explosion, Cooper’s two hitmen end up dead and one of the lawyer’s hitmen is knocked out by his partner . . . just because.

Speaking of Jim Belushi, he takes a taxi over to Richard’s with REVENGE – and possibly murder – on his mind! Elsewhere, in an adjacent café, Richard inquires about Maddy’s whereabouts from a sassy waitress. Jim Belushi, gun in hand, finds dead guys in Richard’s apartment and goes a bit batty because of it. Jim Belushi, his thoughts of REVENGE now replaced with no thought at all, meets up with Richard on the street to tell him of the strange goings-on in his apartment. Richard, skeptical, accompanies his friend back upstairs where they have comic misadventures involving the last conscious agent, a bunch of dead hitmen, and Jim Belushi. Hmm . . . that sounds like a terrible sitcom.

While Jim Belushi finds dead men in unexpected places, Richard watches from the window as the two elderly CIA agents kidnap Maddy like she were their rebellious child or something. Well, we already know that she enjoys preying on men’s sexual repression, so maybe they are a bit put out with her harlotry. Richard, not content with having his one lady-love dragged away by two crotchety old people, springs into action; meanwhile, Cooper watches from a car on the street below and is primed for some REVENGE of his own. After the lawyer’s last agent knocks out Jim Belushi – left all alone in the apartment after Richard’s hasty exit – Cooper, from the street, snipes the lawyer’s last living agent, who’s lifeless corpse lands hilariously next to Jim Belushi’s unconscious form . . . merely so that the movie can have the uproarious scene of Jim Belushi waking up next to a dead guy. Which also sounds like a bad sitcom.

Back out on the street, Richard, years before Jackass ever took to the airwaves, plays bike-joust with the elderly agents’ car and wins. In the ensuing chaos, he makes off on foot with Maddy in tow . . . until Cooper, waiting at a red light, sees them both and gives chase. Maddy and Richard retire to the subway, where they believe themselves safe, until Cooper, backed up by the elderly agents, corners them. Maddy and Richard, somehow, escape by pulling the emergency brake and running through the dark, dank subway tunnels. Wow . . . it’s just like The Warriors all over again, although, this time, Cooper gives chase through the tunnels, rather than a bunch of bizarre, futuristic gangs. Somehow, through a convoluted series of events, Richard, Maddy, and Cooper run into either the Supreme Court or a Senate office building – I’m not too good with my Washington landmarks – where Cooper gets arrested due to Maddy’s testimony in front of a conveniently convened committee. Finally, in the denouement, Richard visits a newly invigorated Princess Leia and Jim Belushi at a sanitarium; after leaving, Maddy and he hook up in the street. Meanwhile, from the periphery, the CIA head and the lawyer watch; after the resolution, the lawyer reveals that he’s now the director of the CIA because he had the foresight to spare Richard’s life . . . and then he gloats about it. Ah, well played, lawyer.

When all is said and done, The Man with One Red Shoe isn’t necessarily a good film per se, but it certainly is clever and, at times, entertaining. Tom Hanks, meanwhile, like in nearly every other role, displays the common likeability that is his hallmark; his average-guy shtick keeps the film from becoming too unbelievable – even though if it were remade now, it would be quite more believable. There are, like many movies we’ve studied, the few moments of brilliance that stand out in this film – and there are also the unneeded subplots, like Jim Belushi and Princess Leia’s hateful, bitter marriage – but the subject matter, as well as the intentionally convoluted plot, serve to fly over the head of the average viewer, unless you’re REALLY paying attention . . . and you all know it’s my duty to you, my readers, to pay far too much attention.

Join me next week as we watch Tom Hanks find love in Southeast Asia with his portly sidekick by his side . . . which is usually where you find “sidekicks.” Either that, or in the Chuck Norris section of your local video store. Anyway . . . see you then!