Ask 411 Movies for 06.01.09: Two Great Tastes that Taste Great Together!

Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 06.01.2009

Sagal Twins, Morgan Stewart is Coming Home, Jim Varney, Robocop vs. Terminator and the extinction of network promos!

From YouTube this week, we have the movie that SHOULD have been made, Robocop vs. Terminator. I thought it was pretty well put together until the silly inclusion of the Predator as a deus ex machina.



From Cinevent I picked up several five bucks DVDs from a guy having a blow out sale. They include two disc special edition of Dog Day Afternoon special collector's edition of Once Upon a Time in the West, George Lucas director's cut of THX-1138, Sunset and deluxe edition of Guys and Dolls. Plus from Ron Adams of Creepy Classics I got "Shemp Cocktail," featuring a documentary, films and shorts from Shemp Howard of the Three Stooges, and a collection of eight classic Hercules movies. Then on top of that my friend Dan gave me a collection of all three Hulk Hogan Thunder in Paradise movies. I also picked up an authentic Cannonball Run poster for two bucks. I am a deal maker.

To note again, I will be at The Monster Bash in Butler, Pa., the weekend of June 26. That Friday evening, about 1:30 a.m., I'll be hosting Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster. Learn more here.

My ten favorite country music song titles in no particular order:
"Barstools and Babies Don't Mix"
"I'm Going to Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home"
"Dropkick Me Jesus (Through the Goalposts of Life)"
"Happiness is Texas in My Rearview Mirror"
"She's Feelin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles"
"Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed"
"She Got the Goldmine, I Got the Shaft"
"Elvis Has Left the Building and All You Have Left is Me"
"I Like Beer"
"Jesus was a Capricorn"

Q: Did those twins from Double Trouble have another show? I think I remember something about them going to college in New York?
-Norman

A: Same show, different premise. "Double Trouble" started out as a midseason replacement in 1984 and was used so again in 1985. For the second season, the girls left their dad behind and moved to New York to live with their aunt. The sensible one was going to fashion school while the wilder one was trying to become an actress. I couldn't find that intro, so enjoy the twins playing tennis and drinking Sprite. But they're crazy, 7-Up is way better than Sprite.



Q: There's an error in your description of The Tall Guy. Emmat Thompson does not MISTAKENLY think he is having an affair. He DID. I just watched the movie last week.
-Goldblum.net

A: Thank you for the correction, just an error on my part.

Q: Another underrated comedy would be Morgan Stewart's Coming Home. "Out of my way, I need a shampoo!"
-The Great Capn Smooth



From 1987, Jon Cryer plays the title character, a teen returning home from seven years in boarding school. He attempts to loosen up his uptight parents, played by Lynn Redgrave and Nicholas Pryor. This is one of those notorious films with an Alan Smithee director credit. Paul Aaron didn't like the final result after studio tampering. Aaron came on to replace Terry Winsor, who had only one other movie to his credit and the producers weren't confident in him.

Q: I would actually say that the actor to star in the most sequels/prequels would possibly be Jim Varney for his "Ernest" character. Unfortunately, I can rattle off at least 8 "Ernest" films, and there are probably more that I've forgotten about. (I'm assuming the TV series and one-off TV spots don't count)
-Dirk

A: There are nine Ernest movies, with the last few going direct to video. We've covered the Ernest series in the past, so lets just list those films. They are Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Saves Christmas, Ernest Goes to Jail, Ernest Scared Stupid, Ernest Rides Again, Ernest Goes to School, Slam Dunk Ernest, Ernest Goes to Africa and Ernest in the Army. There was also his short lived television series, other TV specials and other video compilations and specials, including Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam from 1986 where he plays a variety of characters. Below, the opening of one of those TV specials "Ernest Goes to Splash Mountain."



Q: What's the difference between screenwriters being credited with an and or & between their names?
-Chris

A: An ampersand means that the two people worked together on the script, an and means that the people worked separately on the script. Screenplay by means the people wrote the script, while story by means that the writer or writers had their original script greatly rewritten after being optioned by producers or a studio. Writers guild rules states that only three writers can be credited on a script or three teams of different writers with no more than three members each. This rule has been stretched here and there.

With plenty of space to kill this week we're going to indulge my own whims by taking a look at a defunct species: the network promo.

There was a time when the major networks like NBC, ABC and CBS would implore you to watch their channel while you were watching their channel.

ABC: Come on Along (1982)

Fonzie and Chachi dressed like third-rate stockbrokers pull people off the streets of New York to come dance with them. The promo goes ok until Ted McGinley shows up to square dance in a barn to make it jump the shark.



CBS: We've Got the Touch (1984)

Two kids get sucked into a TV repair van television where they grope Victoria Principal, annoy Bob Newhart, chill with Higgins and get their basketball stolen by Gerald McRaney.



NBC: Come Home (1987)

Alf eats Bob Hope's golf ball, John Larroquette plays peeping tom on Deidre Hall, Richard Moll has hair, Howie Mandel has hair, Harry Hamlin is beefcake for the Golden Girls and Michael J. Fox sits in a bitching looking NBC shaped chair. Yeah, that's just like my home.



As a bonus here is a parody of the NBC "Proud as a Peacock" jingle from 1979 that cracked my shit up.



Just for shits and giggles, here is an old opening credit sequence to "One Life to Live." First of all, the theme song will eat your brain if you listen to sixty times in a row like I did. Second, from what I can remember watching the show as a child with my mother I think all the pictures of the cast are arranged in order of importance. To put this in wrestling terms, the first segment is your main eventers, the second your upper midcarders, the third your midcards and the last all the jobbers. You can compare this with the background shots too. We start with palatial mansions and ritzy office buildings and wind up with diners, railroad tracks and under bridges. All shows should do this for easy pick up of characters and storylines by new viewers.



Don't die.

"Gentlemen, we are facing the biggest disaster in the history of Cincinnati Bank & Trust. Worse gentlemen, than losing the Super Bowl."