The Big Screen Bulletin 06.15.09: The Virus for What Ails You

Posted by Chad Webb on 06.15.2009

A nightmare with Tara Reid and bowling balls, the box office results, the gossip surrounding "G.I. Joe", the new "John Carter of Mars" news, the director for "Conan", new DVD releases, a critic's quickee for "The Hangover", new trailer ratings, and much more!

Straight to Video Nightmares

Strike







Starring: Tara Reid, Ross Patterson, and Clayne Crawford
Directed By: Tommy Reid
Written By: Ross Patterson
Release Date: June 9, 2009
Running Time: 93 minutes

If you plan on looking up the information on Strike, be aware that IMDB still lists the title as 7-10 Split, and even though Strike is displayed as an alternate title, one has to scroll down far before they find this movie's link. On the surface, Strike would appear to be just another terrible B-movie, but in truth, it is just mediocre, which is certainly a step above the pack these days.

The story begins with a character named Ross (Ross Patterson), an aspiring actor who cannot land a role. Instead, he works at a pizza place called "Oscarz" where the theme centers on Academy Awards and acceptance speeches. Every delivery comes with a $2 discount providing the buyer gives a 30 second acceptance speech. Although funny on paper, this concept quickly becomes grating as a huge black woman's yelling was so loud it upset my downstairs neighbors. His friend Mike (Clayne Crawford) works there as well, and Ross' girlfriend Lindsey (Tara Reid) works at a pet store with dreams of SeaWorld. The film gets on my bad side right away by relying on fart, beer, and marijuana jokes for absolutely no reason.

It turns out that bowling, dressing up in funny costumes, and making up fake names for the display screen is a favorite activity for Ross, Lindsey, and Mike. Ross bowls well over 200 each time. One day, a guy named Buddy (Ray Wise) and his PR assistant Dianne offer Ross a chance at the PBA tour. Once Ross proves he can bowl at an average of over 200 per game, and bowl in 36 league games, he can be on his way. He declines initially, but of course has no choice once he is fired from Oscarz and let go by the talent agency that had given up on trying to land him acting parts. He debuts as an instant success, and his wild personality prompts a boost in PBA ratings. But with all the money and fame, Ross turns into a self-centered jerk, and loses those closest to him.

Even though Strike is just another recycled "fame going to one's head" story, it desperately aims to be the Happy Gilmore of bowling. The problem lies in the laziness of the script and the unpolished nature of the direction. Ross Patterson is the star and screenwriter of Strike. As a comedic actor, he comes off resembling Ryan Reynolds, but in a far less irritating manner. He certainly evokes promising aspects as a performer. His timing and delivery of dialogue is excellent, and he refrains from exaggerating too heavily. As a screenwriter, Patterson fails to inject the story with enough flavor and identity to make it stand out.

Tara Reid is given top billing, but to call her the "star" is definitely a false statement. Her contribution requires barely any work. She stands around in a pink wig, and escorts Ross to the bowling lanes. Other than that, she complains about wanting to deal with pets. Clearly she has not taken strides to develop her skills since the American Pie days. Clayne Crawford is supposed to be the zany friend, but thankfully Crawford does his damnedest to avoid being an annoying cliché. He is forcibly handed all the lines dealing with pop-culture references and pot. Vinnie Jones, Ray Wise, Vincent Pastore, and Robert Carradine all have minor roles, and are adequate. The acting is what catapults the movie from being horrid to tolerable.

Whether it was rookie filmmaker Tommy Reid, or Ross Patterson, someone understood that going over the top with Strike was a bad idea. The rapid editing was bothersome since it became obvious that the cast was not actually bowling. At least Kingpin gave us the illusion that Bill Murray was as good as Big Ern. The marketing campaign behind Strike wants viewers to think of National Lampoon's style of comedy. All you have to do is glance at the cover to grasp that. I'm sure if this does well on DVD, Mr. Reid will find more directing offers. I can see some potential for improvement.

I expected to hate Strike, but in the end, it was just a run of the mill story, which at least does not result in my regretting I spent the money to rent it. It did result in a hilarious pick-up line I had not heard before: "It's pretty loud in here. Can I please use your thighs as earmuffs?" For everything that Strike does right, it is the wrong decisions that linger in one's head unfortunately. Take for instance the "El Torito" midget character, the penguin sex, or the commenter constantly talking about his bowels. I can't see why anyone would be sitting at home perusing their Netflix queue, or standing in a video store, and say "You know, I really want to rent Strike", but if you did take that gamble, it could be a lot worse.

Final Rating = 5.5/10.0

The News Bulletin

Another Satisfying Hangover
BOX OFFICE TOP TEN
1. The Hangover - $33.4 million ($105 million)
2. Up - $30.5 million ($187 million)
3. The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 - $25 million ($25 million)
4. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian - $9.6 million ($143.4 million)
5. Land of the Lost - $9.1 million ($34.9 million)
6. Imagine That - $5.7 million ($5.7 million)
7. Star Trek - $5.6 million ($232 million)
8. Terminator Salvation - $4.6 million ($113.8 million)
9. Angels & Demons - $4.2 million ($123.3 million)
10. Drag Me To Hell - $3.8 million ($35.1 million)

Well, in terms of the top spot, it looks like I was correct that The Hangover and Up would battle it out, and that the former would win. I should have placed The Taking of Pelham 123 higher though. Imagine That, predictably, is another dud for Eddie Murphy. Night at the Museum 2 and Star Trek are the heavy hitters this summer rising above their budgets. Terminator Salvation and Angels & Demons have yet to gross enough to make theirs. May was so crammed with releases that it is no wonder this happened. Drag Me to Hell took a huge dive, and Land of the Lost should suffer a worse dip next week. Next week I can see The Proposal beating out Year One, but the top 5 should all be fairly close.






John Carter Suits Up
"X-Men Origins: Wolverine" stars Taylor Kitsch and Lynn Collins are set to join the live-action "John Carter of Mars" film adaptation for Disney Pictures says The Hollywood Reporter. Based on "Tarzan" author Edgar Rice Burroughs classic sci-fi pulp stories, "Carter" centers on a civil war veteran who finds himself mysteriously transported to Mars, where his involvement with warring races of the dying planet force him to rediscover his humanity. Kitsch ("The Covenant," TV's "Friday Night Lights") will play the title character, while Collins (TV's "True Blood," "Uncertainty") is playing Dejah Thoris, heir to the throne of Mars' Helium kingdom. Andrew Stanton ("Wall-E") wrote the screenplay with Mark Andrews and will direct. Jim Morris and Colin Wilson are producing. Filming aims to kick off around the end of the year.
-From IGN

The John Carter of Mars project has been haunting Disney for decades now. It has up until this announcement been one of the best films never made. This will be Stanton's live-action debut, and he is under a lot of pressure because of it. I for one am really amped for this film to the point where I need to check out the books. I will say that I am skeptical of Taylor Kitsch since he was one of the many flaws in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and since the rest of his resume is not all that impressive. Here's hoping he can prove me wrong. Lynn Collins I am bit more optimistic about, but this movie could go either way. Initially, Disney wanted this to be a franchise, and with this cast, you never know what will happen. Then again, studios want everything to be a franchise these days. I am glad to see it moving forward. I'll be anxious to see who else is cast.






Release Date Changes!!!
When in Rome
The Mark Steven Johnson-directed romantic comedy starring Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel, and Jon Heder has been delayed from August 7th 2009 to January 29th 2010.

Shorts
The Robert Rodriguez-directed fantasy comedy has been delayed from August 7th 2009 to August 21st.

The Spy Next Door
The Lionsgate comedy starring Jackie Chan has been scheduled for January 29th 2010.

Valentine's Day
The Carry Marshall-directed ensemble romance starring Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Shirley MacLaine, and Julia Roberts will come out, appropriately enough, on Valentine's Day Weekend on February 12th 2010.

Going the Distance
Due to the previous film's date, the romantic comedy starring Drew Barrymore and Justin Long has been delayed from February 12th 2010 to an undetermined date in 2011.

Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D
Despite the fact that they practically abandoned any type of marketing for the 2008 re-release in favor of High School Musical 3, Walt Disney Pictures will continue the perennial re-issue of the holiday classic on October 23rd 2009.
-From Dark Horizons

I am glad to see that more viewers will have the opportunity to see The Nightmare Before Christmas in theaters. I am not a 3D fan, but introducing it to more kids is terrific. The rest of these release date changes are rather unremarkable I must say. I am happy to see Rodriguez's Shorts getting delayed since I am going on vacation at the time of the original date. The romcom Valentine's Day has all the markings of a huge box office hit, especially if it sticks with that release date. Husbands and boyfriends beware! Weird that Going the Distance, the other romcom, is then pushed back a full year to an undecided date just because it can't land the Valentine's Day slot. Another martial arts comedy with Jackie Chan. Meh.






Was Stephen Sommers Fired?
The gossip story of the day so far is that Paramount's upcoming "G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra" is so bad that the director may have been fired. It all began when a posting on Don Murphy's message board, now removed, claimed that a test screening of the upcoming action film scored the worst marks in the studio's history. As a result Paramount exec Brad Weston had the film's director Stephen Sommers ("The Mummy," "Van Helsing") fired and locked out of the editing room.

Stuart Baird, a renowned "fixer" editor was brought it to try to see if it could be made releasable, while producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura was told "his services were no longer needed on the film either". When word of the firing started to get around, Sommers "was summoned back to the editing room but only to save appearances, Baird is still editing the movie with studio input." Latino Review then followed that post up with a few checks of their own. While columnists have been quick to slam the film, it apparently is tracking quite well, and so the site got in contact with di Bonaventura himself to ask if the report had any truth?

"It's completely untrue he was never asked to leave or been fired or any of that. That's ridiculous. The movie tested very well. Everybody was happy, the studio was happy, the filmmakers were happy, the audience was happy with the movie. We had three test screenings, three different times and tested it and each time it just got better and better. We started off in a good place and we ended up in even in a better place, which is what you hope on a film from testing it."

So what happened in the editing room? "Nothing that doesn't happen on every other movie, which is that you constantly work and work and work and you make it better and better. We had a delay on visual effects so we waited a long time to finish the movie but that's the only thing. I don't really know why that would be interpreting it negatively but I guess it was".

Still, many remain dubious. There's been blood in the water on this film for a while and many online critics seem to have already made their minds up on the film. Sommers has generally provoked dislike amongst critics, and the word is with 'Joe' he essentially got total creative freedom to do what he wanted. Has that resulted in a workable film? We'll find out in two months.
-From Dark Horizons

This is an interesting story. Obviously the media airs stories that are shady regularly, but this one seems have a ring of truth to it. I mean, obviously the studio is not going to admit they fired a director, kept him from the editing room, and that the film tested poorly. Why would anyone pay to see it then? On the other hand, I cannot believe this rumor until it is backed up by other sources. I was a G.I. Joe fan as a child like many of our male readers, but I will not praise a film just because it uses that name. The trailers thus far have been perpetually worse, and have yet to display or remind me of why I enjoyed the cartoon so much. My first impression is that they did not understand how to translate a cartoon to live-action. Could this be a plan to wound the film before it is released? Possibly. Many fans have reacted like me. Could the film have been bad enough that the director was blamed? Possibly. We all know Sommers' history. All I know is, even though I think it looks awful, I am even more curious to see it now.






Nispel Meets Conan
CHUD initially reported, and Variety later confirmed, a scoop indicating that "Friday the 13th" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake director Marcus Nispel is getting behind another remake - "Conan the Barbarian". Nispel will direct the new 'Conan' for Nu Image/Millennium Films & Lionsgate which begins production later this year in Bulgaria and South Africa. Nispel says he will blend his childhood imaginings of the character with the influence of the famous Conan illustrations by Frank Frazetta, and the influence of such viscerally violent period films as "Apocalypto". The Robert E. Howard-created barbarian was first adapted onscreen with Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1982. The reboot has been in development for nearly a decade. Avi Lerner, Fredrick Malmberg and Joe Gatta are producing.
-From Dark Horizons

In past issues of The Big Screen Bulletin, I have had many comments about the Conan reboot. Quotes from those involved have stated this will be different than the Ahhnold movies, and more faithful to the source. Fans took this to heart. Ok, let's say that holds up. All those fans who were hoping for the best have to be upset at who has been hired to direct. Marcus Nispel, a man who has no sense of originality, has not delivered a quality film since his debut. Unless he has received sage-like advice from Scorsese, I can only assume that Conan will be as torturous as his other films. I can envision it being filmed almost entirely in the dark so that we are unable to see what is going on. Sound familiar? I feel sorry for the fans of this material, and they can continue to argue with me if they want, and still hold on to hope, but if I were a betting man, I would not put too much money on this being a reboot in the vein of Batman Begins.

The 20 Second Sermon

Guillermo del Toro has confirmed that Hugo Weaving will reunite with Andy Serkis and Ian McKellen in The Hobbit. After the lawsuit rumors, this is great news. Peter Morgan, writer of The Queen and Frost/Nixon, has been hired to pen Bond 23. This is spectacular news. If anyone can move Bond away from Bourne, it is Morgan. In an interview with EW.com, when asked about his involvement with the new Buffy film Joss Whedon said, "I believe [the producers] did ultimately reach out to my agent after the news broke. I think that's something better left untouched by me. So, I wish them luck." I don't blame him. If the fans really want to show their disapproval, they should simply not see the finished film. British director Neil Marshall (The Descent, Doomsday) is close to signing on to direct Fox's Predators remake. This isn't what I would have chosen for Marshall, but I'll bet fans of the franchise are content. Ryan Reynolds is very enthusiastic about the Deadpool movie, but I'll believe it when I see the trailer, or hear. Seabiscuit and Pleasantville writer Gary Ross is set to pen the Lance Armstrong biopic. He is a very wise choice. If anyone can get the emotions stirred, it's him.

The DVD Release Rundown for June 16th

DVD Headline of the Week



The Seventh Seal – Criterion Collection - It is one of the greatest films of all-time, it is what made me a film buff today, and it is getting the much needed double-dip treatment. It is also released on Blu-Ray, and this means a very happy day for collectors. If you haven't seen this then you are missing a vital piece of film knowledge. Preorderable

The Diary of Anne Frank - The magnificent Holocaust drama from Director George Stevens finally gets a double dip after so many years. This is another of Stevens' great pictures, and he really does deserve more respect. My fingers are crossed for new extras! Buyable

Jesse Stone: Thin Ice - This is the fifth made-for-TV film in this franchise, and more are on the way. I really need to watch these soon. I mean, if they've gone for this long, there must be something worthwhile about them right?

Friday the 13th: Extended Killer Cut - Director Marcus Nispel and Producer Michael Bay show once again how to destroy horror films. They increase the body count, nudity, and blood amount, but the story is non-existent, the characters are unlikable, and the plot holes are gaping. I hated this film. Trashable

Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - Sorry, but I am not a Madea fan.

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (Deluxe Edition) - The Tommy Jarvis sequels were some of most ridiculously fun of the series if you ask me, but I don't know that I'd want to buy them individually right at the moment. I'm waiting for the Blu-Ray box set. In case you forgot, this is the Corey Feldman one, so you know it's solid. Buy it Used/Cheap

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning - The one where someone dresses up like Jason. This was ok as well. Buy it Used/Cheap

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives - Ahh, the one where Jason's grave gets struck by lightning. This is was more funny than anything else, but hey, its Tommy Jarvis, so I'm there. Buy it Used/Cheap

Garfield's Pet Force - This is Garfield's third CGI adventure, but Frank Welker still does the voice, so it can't be that bad. I have yet to try computer generated Garfield, but this could be a future STV nightmare.

Bergman Island – Criterion Collection - If you are like me, and own the old edition of The Seventh Seal, buying this DVD of a documentary on Director Ingmar Bergman will give basically all the new extras on the double dip edition of the film pictured above. And this is a lot cheaper than normal Criterion discs, so that is a plus.

Andrzej Zulawski's L'important C'est D'aimer - The title translates to "The Important Thing is To Love", and the film was made in 1975. I must see it since the DVD gets the royal treatment with top notch packaging and two-discs. I had never even heard of it until it was announced recently.

What Goes Up - A comedy starring Steve Coogan and Hillary Duff? It's like taking something great and something horrible and mashing them together. I am curious.

Operation Valkyrie - This is the first version of this story from 2004, starring Sebastian Koch from The Lives of Others - If I have the time, I would love to review this DVD.

WWE: Judgment Day 2009 - I have been on a long drought from newer PPV's, and this card does not look to be a reason to stop.

The Outlaw - This is a film from Howard Hughes, and is described as one of the most controversial of all-time. It features Jane Russell. If it is controversial, I am certainly going to see it.

TNA: Lockdown 2009 - It might be two old guys battling in a cage, but I wouldn't mind seeing the Foley/Sting match. The rest looks bad.

Suddenly - This stars Frank Sinatra as an assassin. The black & white original, and a new colorized version are included in this DVD. It is only 76 minutes long, and I enjoy Sinatra's acting, so I would rent this.

What's Up, Tiger Lily? - I have never seen this, and if I explained it, you would be confused, so here: "An evil mastermind with an addiction to egg salad! Sadistic, torture-hungry double crossers! Gorgeous girls hungry for lovin'! A weird marriage between a cobra and a chicken! Only one man is daring, clever and sexy enough to take on this kind of mission: superspy Phil Moscowitz! Woody Allen spoofs the spy thriller in one of his funniest films, a nonstop frenzy of skewed wit, hilarious parody and sidesplitting wackiness. With dialogue rewritten and redubbed for a Japanese James Bond-style movie, What's Up, Tiger Lily? turns the sex-and-danger world of filmdom's spy game upside down!"

The Cell 2 - A sequel to the Jennifer Lopez thriller. This is not directed by Tarsem, and the girl on the cover is made to resemble J-Lo.

The Critic's Quickee

The Hangover - Let's take a trip down memory lane to when Bryan Kristopowitz gave The Dark Knight a 7.5 and everyone sank their teeth into his article relentlessly. He liked it, but because he didn't love it, people went crazy. What I'm about to say on The Hangover is a bit like that. I thought this movie was funny, I did. I laughed lout loud a lot. However, I would not label it a classic. Allow me to explain. Outrageous comedy such as this is best in the moment, during the first viewing, and especially with a larger group of people. It is my experience that these types of comedies lose some of their spunk over time. You could also say that about most of Director Todd Phillips efforts. Old School, Road Trip, and even Starsky & Hutch were really popular years ago, but their reputation has kind of died down. Why? Because a movie like The Hangover has been released, that's why. It replaces let's say an Old School, or whatever, as the new outrageous comedy to love, one that college guys will have in their dorms. In the 80's it was Bachelor Party with Tom Hanks. I'm not saying everybody feels this way, and of course right now everyone will disagree with me because it is the "hot" comedy, but give it a few years, and a new comedy will be released that captures the thunder The Hangover possesses now. More and more, I find through other people's statements and watching outrageous comedies collect dust on their shelves, that when one goes to watch it again, it just isn't the same as that first time. It does not hold up as well as say The 40 Year Old Virgin or Anchorman. Now, only time will tell, but I wanted to say that.

The best parts about this movie are the leads. Ed Helms, Bradley Cooper, Justin Bartha, and Zach Galifianakis act like friends going to a bachelor party. The first three give relatively grounded performances. Galifianakis' role strikes me as being tailored around his type of humor. I am not very familiar with his stand up act, so I could be wrong, but it seems that they called his character of Alan "odd" as an excuse for him to do crazy things. Nevertheless, he was funny as hell. I enjoyed the erratic structure of the movie, and thought it enhanced the very unoriginal aspects of the plot. You were actually engrossed most of the time because you wanted to find out how it all comes together. Putting aside my introductory comments, my biggest problem with this movie was that the story spirals out of control at times into preposterousness. Many critics have praised the plot, but the stripper marriage, the police station incident, the baby stuff, and a few other scenes bothered me. I did appreciate the reasoning of how they all forgot what happened though. Movies like this have a certain effect, which is that you see a gag so off the wall that you laugh, only to realize later that it was kind of stupid. Some of the funniest material involved Ed Helms. I laughed at how they continued to travel from place to place while wasted, and I loved how Mike Tyson became a part of the plot. Mike Epps has a super small role, and should have been in it more. Phillips shows hints of keeping the substance grounded, but at times that is sacrificed for the "shocking" comedy. Bottom line is, The Hangover is a pretty enjoyable time at the movies, as long as you aren't by yourself. The bigger the crowd, the better it will be. Final Rating = 7.0/10.0

Land of the Lost - (Based on the show from Sid & Marty Krofft) Will Ferrell now understands what hitting rock bottom means. In terms of quality, and probably financially as well, Land of the Lost is a disaster of mega-proportions. Ferrell's films were becoming more and more conventional, routine, and uninspired, and this proves it to all doubters. This is easily the worst movie of his career, and very well might be in the running for worst of 2009. This entire premise is so clumsily staged and mapped out. The story is not laid out so the audience can grasp what is going on. Dr. Rick Marshall invents this machine called a tachyon amplifier. He goes to a certain spot, turns it on, and it seems to work, but he drops it in the water, and suddenly a portal appears that takes him, associate Holly Cantrell, and Will Stanton (a guy who sells fireworks) to an alternate dimension. The amplifier arrives there also, still working somehow. We know he invented this machine, and that he uses a term called tachyon, but the details of how it worked remain a mystery. The whole set-up has the trio traveling from one gag to the next. The first impression is that this wants to be a sort of Jurassic Park with a comedic twist, but upon closer examination, Land of the Lost has virtually no plot. The characters explore this world, and that's it. You have these Creature of the Black Lagoon type monsters, and one of the leaders talks quite coherently, and wants Marshall's machine so he can take over the Earth Marshall lived in to begin with. Did you follow all that? I could list half a dozen questions just about that, but I won't. A couple of sequences made me think. You have two instances where Rick Marshall is close to death. One time he is snatched up by a T-Rex from his backpack, and thrown around, and the other has a bug sucking out gallons of his blood. He comes out of these moments unscathed. That is when you know that this movie could care less about a plot.

Not for one second does anyone associated with this understand what suspense is. The object here was to put these characters in these wild situations and hope for a laugh. The plot is the laston the list of priorities, it makes no sense half the time, and is the epitome of lame. The special effects in this film are sloppy. Spielberg created more believable illusions in 1993. Land of the Lost's CGI would have been outdated years ago. I gave a 7/10 to Journey to the Center of the Earth, a similar movie on the surface. That was good natured family fun that involved a fantasy world, but did not go over the edge. This adventure flick goes over the edge and keeps going. The trio finds this primitive creature (like in the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey) named Chaka, and somehow the female understands its dialect, and somehow Chaka grows to understand human language. He looks like a hairy Ben Stiller. He speaks in gibberish for most of the film, except one scene. The machine I told you about earlier plays show tunes for some reason because a radio consists of some of the parts. Chaka suddenly breaks out in song, singing a show tune, in regular human language, and then goes back to gibberish. This is what the whole movie is like. They are desperate for laughs here, and fail at almost every turn. Director Brad Silberling has not had a long career, but he better think long and hard about his next project. McBride's character is reminiscent of ones he has portrayed already, and it really brings out the worst in everyone involved. The budget for this was like $100 million, and it is not worth 1/10th of that. If you ask me, this is the summer's first huge dud. I could go on and on about the terrible scenes, but I won't. Final Rating = 1.5/10.0

What Have I Done?

Monday - I almost forgot about this month's Chuck Norris calendar line. Incidentally, it is one of the worst ones: "Chuck Norris picks his teeth with other people's teeth." It does not get many laughs when we have visitors to the house, but it is one thing people always stop and read before leaving.





Tuesday - I have been listening to a lot of music lately. I picked up the new Dave Matthews CD, Big Whiskey and the Groo Grux King. It is not their best effort, but I definitely enjoyed it overall. It has the band doing what they do best, which is making fun music showcasing many different talents. The middle of the album dragged, but I would rate this above Stand Up at least. It has a bunch of memorable tracks.






Wednesday - Another album I had playing in my car was Marilyn Manson's new CD: The High End of Low. Manson is one of those artists who knows what his fans want, and he delivers. If you were not a follower before, you won't be now. This is not his finest work, but this set contains a handful of terrific tracks, like the advertised singles, and the first song, "Devour." Some of his material tends to sound the same, but he inserts some gems here and there.






Thursday - I watched a bunch of movies this week. Among them: Wag the Dog, Contact, and White Heat, a classic gangster film starring James Cagney. If you love the intensity of Pacino in Scarface, Cagney will blow you away as Cody Jarrett. I loved all three of the films mentioned, Contact (by Director Robert Zemeckis) most of all.






The Weekend - Mountain Dew has introduced, or re-introduced in some fashion, "Game Fuel", a limited edition drink. They released before when one of the Halo games was a hit. They have released 2 flavors, one is a mixed fruit, and the other is a berry. Both are pretty good, but I prefer the blue in this case.

Based on the Trailer…

Newest Trailers

Shutter Island - Martin Scorsese's new film looks outstanding, and yes, it stars Leonardo DiCaprio, but who cares? They do great things together. The cast looks terrific, and the plot seems intriguing. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

Shorts - I have seen at least a dozen trailers involving aliens lately, so when I saw this, I thought it looked terrible, but then I noticed that Robert Rodriguez was directing, and so I watched it again. It has me interested, and it may be fun. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

The Time Traveler's Wife - Initially, this strikes you like The Lake House in some way, but hopefully it is nothing like that. Plus, this has better leads in Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams. For a romance, this looks pretty darn good. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Untitled Michael Moore Documentary - This was a very funny teaser. It is typical Moore comedy, but I appreciated the way it was set up. No one gets the world interested in documentaries (or whatever you call Moore's stuff) like he does. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

June Releases

$9.99 - A stop motion animation film that is very much geared towards adults, and is based on the short stories of Etgar Keret. This is right up my alley, so I'll be seeing it for sure. It looks to be funny, engaging, and heartfelt from this footage. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

The Proposal - This is an example of a romantic comedy I loathe. Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock are the stars. Yay. Watch this preview and tell me you cannot predict how this ends. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0

Cheri - This is a turn of the century story about a French courtesan and her young lover. It is directed by Stephen Frears, and somehow he managed to make a movie with Michelle Pfeiffer that will not go DTV. Bland, bland, bland. Trailer Rating = 5.5/10.0

Whatever Works - Woody Allen writes and directs a new comedy with Larry David and Evan Rachel Wood, among others, and it looks hysterical. It seems like Allen and David are such a logical combo to make a comedy, and I hope this is as good as the trailer. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Year One (Super Bowl spot) - Jack Black and Michael Cera are hunter-gatherers set in the ancient world. This looks mildly amusing. Both actors should provide the laughs. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Super Bowl spot) - I was little late with this one, but it's too early to tell how good or bad this will be anyhow. I'm betting it's more bad than good. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - During the first few seconds, I thought I had clicked on the trailer for Armageddon. I see robots, explosions, and the LaBeoufster. Other than that, what is happening is anyone's guess. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2) - I thought the first previews were absolutely horrendous, but this trailer actually shows more than explosions, which is nice. I am a little more enthused about this sequel now…just a little. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

My Sister's Keeper - Cameron Diaz shows she will not be counted out after What Happens in Vegas because she stars in this film with Abigail Breslin, which looks very good from this footage. When a trailer manages to tug at your heart strings, then you know the film has the chance to be solid. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

July Releases

Public Enemies - This is my type of film. You have Michael Mann, Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, and a bunch of tommy guns. I am so there. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Bruno - This is the red band trailer. It looks really funny, and I'll definitely be seeing it, but I do question the legitimacy of the "real situations" they display. We all heard the rumors after Borat. Regardless, Cohen is hilarious. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

G-Force - Is Disney greenlighting anything that can be 3-D now? They also seem to love talking animals. This looks so gigantically awful. Will Arnett is in this, and that makes me sad. Wow. Trailer Rating = 1.0/10.0

I Love You, Beth Cooper - The new film from Chris Columbus starts out promising, and Hayden Panettiere looks good, but this reeks of like 20 other high school comedies. Count me out. This is disappointing from a guy who normally understands what it takes to make a solid kid movie. Trailer Rating = 2.5/10.0

Adam - A quirky romantic comedy where one has a disability of some sort. One of these comes out every so often. This looks like it could provide some laughs, but I doubt many will see it. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Orphan - Well, if there is a chance of Vera Farmiga nudity, I'm there, and Peter Sarsgaard is cool, but this looks like The Omen with a girl character instead of Damien. In other words, this evil child outline needs to have a break. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

Funny People - The new dramedy from Judd Apatow starring Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and others. This looks very funny and touching at the same time, and that's what Apatow does best. I hope this can salvage what if left of Sandler's dignity. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Shrink - Kevin Spacey stars as a shrink who has his own issues. I don't know. This looks like it could be funny, but some of the acting looks too exaggerated for the tone they want. Maybe I'm wrong. It could be decent. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - This was a great book, the darkest of the set, and this trailer rocks. I'm anxious to see this. The franchise has not decreased in quality, and here's hoping this continues that trend. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2) - Yes, I am a bit skeptical of the director, but this looks very good. This teaser gave me hope that Yates knows what he's doing. The comedy part at the end was terrific. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

August Releases

G.I. Joe (Super Bowl spot) - Oh my Lord. This looks ten thousand ways of awful. I cannot believe that the cartoon I watched as a child, has been adapted in this way. Holy schnikes. Trailer Rating = 2.0/10.0

Taking Woodstock - If this wasn't directed by Ang Lee, I would probably not be interested, but it is, so I'll be seeing it for only that reason. I must agree with Mr. Luers and say this looks like Ang Lee's Almost Famous. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra - I'm sorry, but this is not anything remotely similar to the fun show I watched as a kid. I may be older, but I know a travesty in the making when I see one, and this has all the markings. This looks like total and utter horse dung. I don't know how else to phrase it. Trailer Rating = 2.0/10.0

Julie & Julia - Starring Meryl Streep and Amy Adams, this is based on 2 true stories, one is of Julia Childs. These women are great actresses, and even though Streep's accent seems a bit off, and the story strikes me as disjointed, I have a feeling this will be terrific. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

District 9 - Peter Jackson produces this Neill Blomkamp feature. This guy was originally slated for the Halo film, but this is not far off. The trailer certainly gets your attention, and has a Signs vibe to it, which I like. Color me intrigued for now. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

The Final Destination - What a dumb title. Why not just say "Final Destination 4"? People see these movies to watch the creative ways of dying. That's it. All the installments have been mediocre with a possible exception of the first film. This looks dumb. The well has run dry. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

H2 - The Rob Zombie Halloween sequel looks a lot better than I anticipated with a definite Friday the 13th/Pamela Voorhees vibe going on (as Mr. Luers told me). I really hope this turns out well because Zombie deserves more respect as a filmmaker. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

The Boat that Rocked - I love music, so this is right up my alley. It's about a radio station on a boat, one that helped give rock music to the world. It stars Philip Seymour Hoffman and Nick Frost. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Inglorious Basterds - Many expressed disappointment with this, but it is a WWII film from Tarantino, so what were you expecting? I think it looks awesome. I can't wait to see it! Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

September, TBD, and Beyond Releases

Surrogates - Here is another film that has the potential to be very good, or very bad. The director is Jonathan Mostow (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines), so I hope this is solid. Bruce Willis looks bizarre, but maybe that's a positive, and the plot has echoes of other sci-fi flicks, but you never know, this might surprise us. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Planet 51 - This could be a fairly amusing CGI film. The animation looks nice, but this has few voices, and no real clue as to how funny it will be. I am still unsure, but it might be good, and it might not. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Where the Wild Things Are - I know this production had loads of trouble, but this looks outstanding by the trailer. I can't wait to see it. The creatures look good and Spike Jonze usually doesn't disappoint. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Sherlock Holmes - Guy Ritchie is sending mixed signals with this one. I am anxious to see it, but this trailer shows an action film, and call me old fashioned, but I kind of prefer the mystery to outweigh the action. However, Rachel McAdams looks damn sexy and Kurrgan is involved, so those are both positive points. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself - This is just a teaser, but you know what you're getting when Madea is the main character of a film. This is what keeps Perry relevant, so logically he continues to make films with her. This is somewhat humorous, but nothing I'm interested in. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Beyond a Reasonable Doubt - A generic looking courtroom thriller complete with generic title. Jesse Metcalfe, or John Tucker from John Tucker Must Die is not a good actor, and aside from Michael Douglas outshining everyone as a scumbag attorney, I have no reason to see this. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0

Extract - Mike Judge is delivering another comedy set in the workplace, and I can't wait. Ben Affleck has a cool look going on, and Jason Bateman is usually golden in comedies these days, so this should be terrific. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Astro Boy - A lot of bright colors, fancy CGI, an all-star cast, and not much else. I realize fans of the many TV series' will be excited, but this character just translates as ordinary to the big screen. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

Fame - This looks…..just like every other dance flick we've seen in the past decade, only this is a musical. Yay. The Wayans are parodying movies likes this for goodness sakes! This is a skip it, and I'm not talking about the girl toy from the 90's. Trailer Rating = 2.5/10.0

9 - This looks amazing, and the song in the background only makes me want to see it more. This will be a mighty tough year for Pixar to reign supreme in. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

The Perfect Game - Though I'm not a baseball fan, I always enjoy watching the Little League World Series. The problem with this film, despite a bad title, is that the preview reveals way too much, so hopefully it has more going for it besides the story, which I'm sure is inspirational. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Antichrist Lars Von Trier, the director of Dogville and Manderlay, is behind this new psychological thriller/horror effort. It just might be decent, but with Willem Dafoe, one never can tell. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

More than a Game - If this focuses on the entire high school team, and not just LeBron James, it could be a very decent documentary. The trailer certainly spreads the wealth, so that's good. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

New York, I Love You - The first film, Paris, Je T'aime was one of the best films in recent memory that few knew about. So I am very excited about this second installment. The cast and directors look amazing. It should be a terrific experience. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

2012 - This teaser has been circulating for awhile, but I felt the need to rate it anyway. Roland Emmerich tackles another disaster epic, this one showcasing a flood. Gee, we have never seen any movies about cataclysmic floods before. I suddenly long to watch Knowing again for originality. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

The Princess and the Frog - It's about time Disney returned to hand drawn animation. This looks to be a lot of fun, and very much in the spirit of the classic tales they used to adapt when Walt was around…maybe he still is. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

The Road - This is based on a Cormac McCarthy novel, the same person who wrote the book to No Country for Old Me. I had no idea this was about the end of civilization. I am disappointed somewhat, but it could be good since Viggo and Charlize are the leads. These types of storylines always have the potential to be terrible though. The release date for this has already been pushed a number of times. I hope the final cut is better than this trailer. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

The Twilight Saga: New Moon - Boy does this look retarded. The sequels will no doubt increase the hatred for this series. The were-wolf morphing is truly retarded. I say pass. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0

Toy Story 3 - This is an early teaser, but it still gets me excited. I can't wait for this, and I've heard it if fantastic from footage screened early. It has a tough act to follow, but I have faith. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans - Nicolas Cage, Val Kilmer, and Werner Herzog. Hell yes! This could be bad or good, but I have faith in Herzog to elicit the best from this quirky cast. This story looks bizarre, but with Herzog, a trailer is never as good as the full feature. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Nine - The new musical from Rob Marshall (Chicago) looks to be infused with Fellini-esque qualities, which is a good thing. The cast certainly qualifies for the all-star label, and story looks entertaining, so I'm there. This should be fantastic. I mean come on, Dame Judi Dench and Daniel Day-Lewis are just the tip of the iceberg. This is one of my most anticipated for 2009. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Obituaries

This may be a movie column, but I have to acknowledge the passing of a wrestling legend, a man that casual wrestling fans should have known. Mitsuhara Misawa passed Saturday night in Japan at the age of 47. He died tragically in the ring, due to a suplex on his head. Misawa is half responsible for the match that made me an avid follower of Japanese wrestling. His match with Kenta Kobashi on March 1st, 2003 is one of my favorite of all-time. This is indeed a sad loss for professional wrestling.

Other Stuff to Read

The Best Movies of the Alphabet
The Best and Worst Bond Films.
411 June Roundtable - This month Owain J. Brimfield continues as roundtable host and compiles the thoughts of the movie zone staff on the summer releases for June! The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks - Thanks again to John Meehan for providing my banner here, and for the Alphabet feature.

Also, keep an eye out for more comic book character timelines in the future. Here are the first two:

The Ultimate Batman Timeline
The Ultimate Daredevil Timeline



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