411 Fact or Fiction Movies/TV 07.03.09: Week 184

Posted by Ben Piper on 07.03.2009

Will Public Enemies be the best movie of the summer? Is expanding the Best Picture Academy Award race from five movies to ten a good idea? Is remaking An American Werewolf In London a horrendous idea? Will Ice Age 3 get lost in the box office shuffle? 411's Erik Luers and Dan Baltrusis debate these and other topics in week 184 of 411 Fact or Fiction: Movies/TV!



Hiyo! Welcome back once again to the 411 column sure to have all manner of internet trolls sharpening their claws and bearing their fangs, Fact or Fiction! This week Eric Luers joins us, as well as 411 newcomer Dan Baltrusis. Let's see what's on their minds…

1. You like the idea of the best picture Academy Award race being expanded from five nominated films to ten.

Dan Baltrusis: Fact. The only reason I'm choosing this answer is solely based on the fact that the Oscars are BORING! When The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is nominated for half (12 of 24) the categories and Slumdog Millionaire is nominated for 9 of 24 categories, the whole ambiance and glamour that once was the Oscars becomes "who cares." These movies are considered great movies, we get that, but what about Gran Torino or The Dark Knight? These too are great movies, so why not put them up there and then maybe a wider audience will appreciate this category even more. If The Dark Knight was nominated, then I actually would have been interested in watching the end result.

Erik Luers: Fiction. I am wholeheartedly against this idea. Do we really need ten nominees? Isn't five enough? Won't the significance of a Best Picture nomination decrease with another five nominees? Oh yay, now a film like The Dark Knight can get nominated! But I counter: when The Reader took its place, didn't Stephen Daldry's film gain interest? Didn't people have to see that one due its nomination? If they chose not to because of the "snubbing" of The Dark Knight then they really shouldn't even be allowed to join the discussion. Does the lack of a Best Picture nom make something like Wall-E less accomplished? I hope not. Now, if the Academy were to nominate foreign films and documentaries and even short films in the Best Picture race, we may have something here, but I doubt that will happen. Just because the number increased doesn't their mode of thinking will change. And lest we forget, there will still only be five director slots available, making five best picture nominees' chances immediately worthless. I can't wait for the TV spots that claim "now nominated for best picture, just like nine other films." No thanks.

Score: 0 for 1

2. Public Enemies will be the best movie of the summer.

Dan Baltrusis: Fact. When you have two of the best actors in the same movie, it is going to be great no matter what it is about. I'm from Chicago so I cannot wait to see how Depp portrays John Dillinger. Lately, it seems like every movie Christian Bale is in turns to gold, despite his poor attitude at work. What really is going to compete with this movie anyway? Possibly Harry Potter, but we are talking about BEST movie not biggest fan base or biggest draw, such as Transformers. No doubt Public Enemies will surpass all other summer movies.

Erik Luers: Fiction. Well, I liked Away We Go and that was technically a summer movie. Tetro looks good. So does Woody Allen's Whatever Works. The Hurt Locker and 500 Days of Summer are getting some great reviews, so I look forward to seeing those. What about the eerie looking, Moon? And we have the excellent looking, Kaufman-esque Cold Souls on August 7th! Oh, and Ponyo! And Tarantino will be back with Inglorious Basterds, forcing all jealous fanboys to wish they could one day write like him. And Ang Lee is getting groovy with Taking Woodstock! This is gonna be some summer! But I do look forward to Michael Mann's Public Enemies for the sheer number of talented people involved in the production. But will it be the best? No, probably not in this crop.

Score: 0 for 2

3. It was a smart and prudent move to edit a Michael Jackson joke out of the upcoming Bruno.

Dan Baltrusis: Fiction. Haters will probably come out and bash my answer, but Michael Jackson has been a running joke for the past 10 years. I've already heard numerous jokes since he's passed away. What's the difference? I do have a heart and I know it's not cool to mock the dead, but it's a joke. It was probably inappropriate when he was alive, but I'm sure we would have laughed our asses off. It's not like he is going to piss on his grave. Look, we don't even know what the joke is about and how out of line it really is. Sacha Baron Cohen has no boundaries and I'm sure this was not his decision but if people are going to start having hurt feelings over this, then everybody is a hypocrite except for those crazies who were outside the court house when he was found not guilty. If this was Brittany Spears or Paris Hilton I'm sure nobody would give a crap.

Erik Luers: Fiction. The makers of Bruno obviously finished production before Michael Jackson died, so if people are smart, they would understand that the filmmakers were not intentionally trying to make fun of a dead person. They were making fun on the pedophile image he has had ever since that infamous TV interview back in 2003. The day before Michael Jackson died, there were hundreds of Michael Jackson jokes. And now it's deemed inappropriate? I can understand that his death is a tragedy, but to say that someone is wrong for making fun of him, when this culture has been applauding that negative behavior towards him for the past ten years, is hypocritical, plain and simple. And trust me Dan, if Paris Hilton died tomorrow, everyone would be talking about how her porno reimagined the way cinematographers now use green filters and noir lighting. C'mon now. Grow up.

Score: 1 for 3

Switch!!!

4. A remake of An American Werewolf In London is a horrendous idea.

Erik Luers: Fact. I'm sorry but I was unaware that the original negative for John Landis' American Werewolf in London had disintegrated. Oh wait. It didn't? So why are they doing this? For money. Ah, of course. The original film was a good, fun film that had dark humor and some great makeup from Rick Baker (one of Baker's latest projects:Norbit. Hey, brother gotta eat). The sequel, starring the hot Julie Delpy, tried to duplicate the original's charm. Their attempt consisted of a condom being blown up like a balloon in a public restaurant by Ms. Delpy. How devilishly highbrow. Oh, and when Delpy mounts a guy in bed, she takes off her shirt and……..all wolf hair. Even Brazil couldn't wax this beast (well, she IS French, Erik.) ! Yes, I hated that movie, can't you tell? But, in a way, the sequel provides a great example of what the remake would be like today. All naked CGI creatures running amuck with their sexual organs conveniently framed out of reach. Sorry, but 2:35:1 ain't gonna help you bestiality perves. But hey, in terms of remakes, I do like Cape Fear, The Departed,Halloween, The Thing, and The Hills Have Eyes. On a side note: who knew Dimension still made movies? Harvey, get back to focusing on Nine and your other awards baiting projects. You know, I hear they're gonna have ten nominees this year…..

Dan Baltrusis: Fact. I honestly can say I've never seen the complete movie, and maybe I should have because it was pretty entertaining. The problem I have is that The Weinstein Company has the rights to remake the movie. If you look at a mini list of their films, you can see the problem I have. Pulse=crap, Superhero Movie=crap, Grindhouse=terrible, Zach and Miri=overrated and Clerks 2=shouldn't have been made. Sure The Reader was a big success, but one out of many doesn't bode well for this movie. Can't we think of new movies (producers of Hollywood), I mean this film came out when I was born and even Wes Craven gave a try at a new twist of a werewolf movie with Cursed, (even though it was terrible) and three of his films have already been remade.

Score: 2 for 4

5. Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs will be lost in the box office shuffle and not be as big of a hit had it been released later on in the summer.

Erik Luers: Fiction. When I think of summer movies, I think of the ice age and cold, winter nights. Well, not really, but I think this is a pretty good time to release it. It's too big a movie to release in August, and yet too small a movie to be competing with Transformers'second weekend. Is it a lose lose? Not in my opinion. Ice Age will take a big bite out of Transformers presumed gross, and it is good counter programming to the much more adult Public Enemies. Up is slowly losing its audience (after one hell of a run), and I think even five years olds are too mature for the new Transformers flick (if you are a parent and are taking your child to this film, it is glorified child abuse). The second film in this series did much bigger business than the first, and I expect this pattern to continue with the third. Also, this one is getting some good reviews (Ebert gave it three and a half stars and even, get this, praises some of the 3D imagery). Let's say $75 million for the three day and $95 million for the five. It'll crack $200 million easily. As to why these films do well, I am not sure. I can relate to a squirrel trying to get a nut though, if you know what I mean.

Dan Baltrusis: Fiction. Does it really matter when a animated film of some sort comes out at the theaters? These films always will make money because we as Americans like to overpopulate the planet. It will be about six weeks since Up came out when this film will be released and what else are parents going to do when it's a Saturday night and it's raining like crazy outside. I liked the first film myself, hell, I even own it. That means 99% of the kids own the first and probably the sequel, and just like Shrek the Third, it will make a boatload of money even if it's terrible. Regarding what Erik Luers says about Mr. Roger Ebert, he couldn't critique his own bowel movement so those three and a half stars means nothing to me, and I'm sure the kids will feel the same way.

Score: 3 for 5

6. With Aaron Sorkin writing and David Fincher directing, you'd be eager to check out the proposed Facebook movie The Social Network.

Erik Luers: Fiction. Mr. Fincher, if you agreed to do this movie, and if I had a facebook, I would never send you a friend request. I wouldn't even write on your wall. You just got Criterion to put out a film of yours (regardless of the accusations thrown at you about Criterion paying Paramount to help the independent company out), so think very carefully about this. But still, the title, The Social Network is intriguing. Reminds me of that Soderbergh film, The Girlfriend Experience. But good titles don't necessarily equal good movies. It sounds like there's no real script for this yet, so I bet it won't happen. This is a project ripe for the Shawn Levys and Todd Phillips of the world. Wasn't there talk of a Myspace movie a couple of years ago? All of this is just that, talk. Fincher is a very talented director, obviously, but what would this movie be about? Facebook? That's a concept, not a plot. Oh, internet rumours, how I hate you so. Did you hear? Jeff Goldblum is still alive and well. Oh boy. Next week, we'll probably hear how Fincher is gonna direct the next Batman movie with Keisha Castle Hughes as Poison Ivy. And even then, I still wouldn't accept him as a "friend".

Dan Baltrusis: Fiction. This is right up Aaron Sorkin's alley because he loves writing drama filled episodes with a teeny tiny bit of comedy, but David Fincher, what the hell! You gave us Seven, Fight Club and I still remember "his name was Robert Paulson." This must be some kind of joke because the David Fincher I like to watch would not direct this crap. I'm on facebook okay, but I write stupid little tidbits about nothing and I go back and forth guessing movie quotes with my buddy and that's all. Facebook has mafia wars, squirting people with, (you guessed it) squirt guns, and sending midgets as a gift, how the hell can you translate that to the big screen. Is this supposed to be You Got Mail part two? To quote Norm MacDonald from Dirty Work, "Ridiculous! Completely ridiculous."

Final Score: 4 for 6

Bonus Non Fact Or Fiction Question: What is your favorite "Guilty Pleasure" TV show?

Erik Luers:Hmm, well, I've recently started watching the original Land of the Lost television series and am just enthralled with it. It is absolutely awful, but it's sincere and seems to work even without the nostalgia factor so crucial to many shows from that time period. The special effects are dreadful and the acting subpar, but there's such a happiness about it. For people trapped in a world with dinosaurs and caveman, they react pretty calmly. And that makeup, wow. I also like my fair share of unfunny sitcoms like Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Unhappilly Ever After; if only they'd bring those back. Oh, and Are You Afraid of the Dark? used to scare me to no end. Now I think it's fun to watch but very, very lame. And yet, still, I watch. My sister showed me a show on Bravo called NYC Prep about a group of upper class, preppy teens living in New York City with their parents money. I just saw a glimpse of it, but was intrigued, perhaps because it's not the New York I know (or associate with). Will I continue to watch it? Eh. But what do I know? I'm just a celebrity. Get me out of here.

Dan Baltrusis: This was, is, and always will be a no brainer for me, love me some Saved by the Bell. Just like Billy Bob Thorton, I am obsessed. This was my favorite show growing up as a kid and I own every single season on DVD. What's not to like? Overdosing on caffeine pills, the sprain, "There's no Hope with Dope!" Kelly Kapowski. Every person in the USA knows at least one episode and can probably quote something from it. Whenever any of my friends ever have a question regarding Saved by the Bell the first person they contact is me. Sad, but true. If I was going strictly 80's then I would want Charles in Charge of me.

_____________________________________

And there you have it. Erik and Dan agree more often than not. Many thanks to them both for taking part. Check back next week for more thrilling Fact or Fiction action!
-BP

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