Movies/TV's 3R’s 08.11.09: Cameron Douglas, Gunsmoke, True Lies 2, Machete and More!
Posted by Shawn S. Lealos on 08.11.2009
From Paula Abdul leaving American Idol, Vanessa Hudgens joining Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch, Tom Arnold praying for another True Lies movie, and Gunsmoke being re-imagined to Dollhouse news, and Miley Cyrus being stalked, 411's Shawn S. Lealos breaks down the Right, wRong, and Ridiculous from the week in Movies/TV!
Welcome to Week 07 of The 3 R's for the Movie/TV world.
Without any further ado, here is...
The Right
Vanessa Hudgens gets Sucker Punched: Zack Snyder's next film is his first original script called Sucker Punch. The movie is about an insane young woman in a mental hospital who fantasizes of escape with her fellow inmates. High School Musical's Vanessa Hudgens has signed aboard the Rated R film, joining Emily Browning, Jena Malone and Carla Gugino. It will be Snyder's first film with a mostly female cast and he calls it his first action movie. I don't know if he is kidding or if he was misquoted, but I love his first three films (Dawn of the Dead, 300 and Watchmen) and am excited about this one. Hudgens is the performer most believe to be the breakout star of the High School Musical franchise and I think she might have a better career than even Zac Efron. On the Ridiculous side of things, Hudgens has more nude pictures showing up on the Internet. Guess she didn't learn her lesson the first time.
Those Lovely Bones: This trailer is awesome and is still one of my most anticipated movies of the winter.
My Weekly Machete Update: Yep, after last week's kick ass news that Steven Seagal signed on to play a role in Machete, Robert Rodriguez has added two more names to the cast. The first is Jessica Alba, best known to me as the twit who came to Oklahoma and left with two dubious distinctions in my mind. First, she likes to drink alcoholic shots that cost upwards of $40 each but refuses to tip. More disturbingly, she also decided to go out one night, use glue to paste "Save the Sharks" posters all over downtown - even plastering one on a United Way billboard. All this cost thousands to repair since, you know, she used freaking glue. Did I mention we live in Oklahoma, a land locked state, with NO SHARKS. Then she took a picture of herself in the act of the vandalism and posted it online. Allow me to get past this rant and tell you what is Right in this news. Don Johnson. So, let me recap - Machete will star Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal and Don Johnson. This is not the level of Expendables greatness, but it is the next best thing.
Doug Liman is a hero in his own right: Doug Liman (The Bourne Identity) was boating on the Hudson River and watched in horror as a cargo ship plowed into a smaller speedboat and kept going. Liman and his producer friend Avram Ludwig captained their boat to the wreckage and were amazed to find four people, alive, screaming for help. They rescued three of them and the fourth waited with the wreckage until the Coast Guard arrived. While it was a case of the right people in the right place at the right time, it is still pretty cool.
George W. Bush and Richard Nixon Finally Unite: Oliver Stone's next movie will be a sequel to his eighties hit Wall Street. Michael Douglas reprises his Oscar winning role as Gordon Gekko and is joined by Shia LaBeouf as a young broker. However, Oscar talent is on their way to possibly join the cast as well including Josh Brolin and Frank Langella. Brolin was nominated for his role last year in Milk, also starring as George W. Bush in Stone's W. Frank Langella was also nominated last year for his portrayal of Richard Nixon in Frost/Nixon. Anything Oliver Stone does always interests me, so I'm keeping my eye on this one.
District 9: The movie is a really good film. Go see it and support originality. My review will be up for it this weekend.
How about some Harry Potter?:
The wRong
Rob Marshall seeks some booty of his own: Someone tell me what Rob Marshall (Annie, Chicago, Memoirs of a Geisha) has done to earn the trust to take over the billion dollar franchise that is Pirates of the Caribbean. The guy is a master at choreography and has earned Tony nominations for musicals such as Damn Yankees, Kiss of the Spider Woman and Cabaret. Gore Verbinski finally stepped away from his goldmine to get back to serious - oh wait, he's doing a videogame adap next (Bioshock). Anyway, Jerry Bruckheimer wants to get the new film going before Johnny Depp starts filming The Lone Ranger. Wait, what? Marshall's next flick is the musical Nine, starring Daniel Day Lewis. Is the next Pirates movie going to be a musical with Captain Jack singing? That might be cool.
Tom Arnold can't say goodbye: I don't know what it is, but Tom Arnold just can't seem to let go. It has been 15 years since James Cameron released the film True Lies, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jamie Lee Curtis. Well, for the last fifteen years Tom Arnold, who also starred in the film, has been dropping hints that he expects the sequel to be made any time now. In a recent interview with The New York Times, Arnold once again has said the sequel is being made. Arnold claims that in 14 months, one whole day after Schwarzenegger steps down as Governor of California, shooting will begin on the True Lies sequel. He also says James Cameron will be returning as director. First of all, I think Schwarzenegger starting work on a film one day after leaving office is a long shot. Second, Cameron shoots a movie on the average of once a decade and he is currently finishing Avatar right now. Third, it is Tom Arnold and I don't believe anything that comes out of his mouth. The guy is delusional. Finally, this is an email from James Cameron himself sent to Harry Knowles - "I think Tom was joking. There are no plans for a True Lies 2." Tom Arnold - just stop, you are making yourself and everyone who takes you seriously look stupid. You have become a joke.
John Hughes passes away: 59-year old men are not supposed to die of heart attacks. It really brings home the vulnerability of life. At that age, my son will have just turned 20 and that is a sobering thought. John Hughes is a legend and his films mean so much to anyone who grew up in the eighties. It was a period where most kids could see themselves in the characters he created and no one did (or has ever done) it better. He wrote National Lampoon's Vacation, European Vacation, Pretty in Pink, Some Kind of Wonderful and Home Alone. He directed Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, She's Having a Baby, Uncle Buck and Curly Sue. The man is an institution and when he believed he could not compete with the direction comedies were going in the nineties he stepped aside and was rarely seen since 1991. Sit down sometime this week and watch some of his movies. They are all classics and the best of a genre.
The Ridiculous
Cameron Douglas brings shame to the San Francisco PD: Cameron Douglas, son of Michael Douglas who portrayed San Francisco police officer Steve Keller in the ABC drama The Streets of San Francisco (among other roles), has been arrested in New York City for possession of meth with the intent to distribute. Cameron was also arrested in 2007 for possession of a syringe with liquid cocaine. Cameron starred in It Run's in the Family with both his father and grandfather, legendary actor Kirk Douglas. Why would the grandson of a great man like Kirk Douglas sink into this life? Because he is an untalented hack who lives in the shadow of greatness. By the way, you can read the blog of 92-year old Kirk Douglas on MySpace RIGHT HERE. He is a better man than his grandspawn ever will be. This is a sad and Ridiculous moment but I want to take the chance to show you something great and very Right as well:
Chris Jericho is both albino and lame: I love Chris Jericho as much as the next wrestling fan and his latest movie, Albino Farm, is about to hit DVD. That is all well and good but the distributor came up with the worst possible cover for said DVD. The first two images below were posters and possibilities for the DVD but they instead went with the third choice, one of the worst DVD covers I have ever seen.
Stop Remaking Old TV Shows!: CBS Films is developing a feature film reboot of the classic TV show Gunsmoke. Writing the script is Gregory Poirier, best known as the screenwriter of National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Here is the kicker: The action-adventure will re-imagine Marshall Matt Dillon for modern audiences. It will serve as a prequel to the show and be set in the classic American West but will feature a contemporary look and modern action twists. Just F*ck off, already.
Lost coming on demand: Lost has now been made available on both Hulu and Netflix. They are just getting started but at least it is a start. Hulu only offers Season 1 and the final five episodes of Season 5 while Netflix has the first four seasons but none of Season 5. Hulu has stated more episodes will be added as they are made available. Netflix said Season 5 will be added in September. If you have missed out on the phenomenon, here is your chance to catch up.
More Dollhouse information: Just giving you a little Comic-Con interview footage with Joss Whedon and Eliza Dushku
The public has spoken: Jon and Kate suck: I talked about what horrible human beings Jon and Kate Gosselin were in a Ridiculous column a few weeks back. Well, it looks like audiences agree with that sentiment. The couple is allowing their children to be showcased on TV during this separation and divorce and can't keep off the tabloid covers. If they cared about their kids at all, they would get them out of this media frenzy, or at least get their faces off TV. The kids will pay for their parent's greed because this can only be about the money. Well, a record number of people (10.6 million) tuned in to the episode where they publically announced their divorce. That made me sick. Well, the show now gets a Right - or more significantly the viewers get a Right from me. For the first episode back from that announcement, using a new format where the parents will no longer be interviewed together, the show lost 6 MILLION viewers.
At The Movies returns to its roots: What made At the Movies so great was the back and forth banter of Siskel and Ebert, two critics who generally love movies and loved talking about them. The thumbs up/down became part of popular culture and there was not a time the two critic's opinions were the forefront of all movie reviews. When Gene Siskel passed away he was replace by Richard Roeper and the show dropped in quality because of the lack of comfortable discourse. Despite the drop off, Ebert and Roeper were still interesting to listen to as they discussed the week's releases. When Ebert lost use of his voice and had to leave the show everything fell apart. First, they lost the right to use the Thumbs because that device is a trademark of Siskel and Ebert's. They switched to a "see it", "skip it" and "rent it" standard which is not that big of a deal. However they replaced Ebert and Roeper with Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz, two critics who are respected but did not fit the style of the show. Lyons, despite his intelligence, was never able to articulate his opinions and sounded like he didn't have an original opinion of the film he was discussing. Another problem was the one-on-one discussion of films was set aside and more critics opinions were brought onto the show. They are revitalizing the show this season with two new hosts - Michael Phillips of the Chicago Tribune and A.O. Scott of the New York Times. Also gone are the additional critics and the show is returning to the favored style of two men discussing films. I doubt these two men will ever match the level or Siskel or Ebert but at least it is a step back in the right direction.
Guillermo del Toro coming to TV: Guillermo del Toro was wanting his new vampire idea to be a TV show but he couldn't find any buyers. Instead of continuing to get rejected he went and wrote it as a book called The Strain. The book is part one of a trilogy, co-written by Chuck Hogan, telling the story of a world over-run by a virus that turns everyone into vampires. Since the book was written, vampires have become glamorous again. Between Twilight and True Blood, two tales also based on books, vampires are popular and Del Toro is finally finding interest. To make it even more interesting, the production house teaming with Del Toro for this endeavor is Grady Twins Prods., a house started by Buffy the Vampire scribe Marti Noxon. As a huge fan of Del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth is one of the best movies ever made, period) and Buffy, I am very excited.
The wRong
Chuck will be late in arriving to the party: Chuck will not be returning to TV this fall as anticipated. The genre favorite was one of last year's surprise renewals and had fans everywhere excited. There was even a poster released for the show that was all kinds of cool (the agent with the gun while Chuck had the price scanner was brilliant) and beautifully drawn. Well, NBC executives have revealed Season 3 will not begin until March and will only be 13 episodes. I don't have a problem with the 13 episode length, but moving it out of the fall timeslot is worrisome. However, good news might come out of this as there might be a chance it is extended to be a summer show as well in 2010. Also in the bad news category is Friday Night Lights not returning until summer 2010 as well. The reason it was moved out of the fall is the ratings don't justify a slot in the fall lineup.
Paula Abdul voted off Idol: Through the entire history of American Idol, the constant is the judges Randy, Simon and Paula. Now, Paula is nuttier than a squirrel's shit but she has a pretty strong chemistry with the other two judges. What makes this wrong to me is the entire money paid to Idol stars. First of all, Ryan Seacrest, whose only job is to stand on the stage with a microphone and look pretty, is being paid a lot of money to do so. It is unclear what he is being paid. Reports have him signing a 3-year, $45 million deal to host the show but FOX says they are not the ones paying him that money, but instead a company called CKX is, and for more than just hosting Idol. Simon Cowell is negotiating a $100 million salary which is big money but the guy helped create this phenomenon, so whatever. Paula Abdul wanted to be paid closer to the big boys, maybe as much as $20 million a year and FOX said no. Does she deserve that much money? No. Neither does Seacrest. Cowell might not either. But the show is losing one of its original judges and whoever replaces her will have an uphill battle for audience respect.
The Ridiculous
NBC strips king of his crown: No take backs. That is what Conan O'Brien should be saying to his bosses at NBC. The first week he was on the air as The Tonight Show host, he beat David Letterman in the ratings. NBC got so excited because they never believed he could do it they issued a press release calling O'Brien "the new king of late night." Well, Letterman bounced back and is leading in the ratings again and NBC retracted the statement saying "that was premature." Man, screw these guys. Conan O'Brien is one of the funniest guys to ever host a late night show and his humor is a million times better than what Jay Leno attempted before him. I still don't think this network is completely behind him and that is a sad thing.
Billy Ray Cyrus must regret that deal with the Devil about now: 53-year old Mark McLeod has been arrested a second time for stalking 16-year old Miley Cyrus. See, the guy claims Miley has been sending him secret messages through her TV show. What is worse, that a 53-year old man is stalking a teenage girl or that a 53-year old man is watching Hannah Montana? Well, 411 has investigated the case and it seems the worst thing in this is that it is all a conspiracy. See, Miley Cyrus has been sending the man secret messages, part of the strange powers she was granted when her father traded his daughter's soul to Satan in exchange for his song "Achy Breaky Heart" becoming a hit. McLeod is a nut bag but you would be too if Hannah Montana were speaking to you. Shame on you Billy Ray, how could you?
Paris Hilton to ruin my favorite show: Paris Hilton will appear in episode 5 of Season 5 of Supernatural. I will now say there is a chance this could go from Ridiculous to Right very easily. A source close to the show says to trust [show runner] Eric Kripke and it is true he has rarely let us down. Supernatural will be bringing the Apocalypse this year and if Hilton is guest starting this season it could mean some great things, especially if she ends up dying in a horrible manner, ala House of Wax. I mean, her death was the only reason to watch that movie. There is very little details right now, so I am sticking this here because anything giving Paris Hilton work is Ridiculous in my eyes. She's really only good for one thing:
ok someone has to say it. If elvis sang achey breaky heart it'd be a classic. Just because the man had a mullet we cant let him get away with it. Hound dog really.
Posted By: x-0816 (Guest) on August 10, 2009 at 11:54 PM
Well we already know who will play Lucifer on Supernatural .. so what the fuck is Paris doing on there?
Posted By: K. Bett (Guest) on August 11, 2009 at 12:49 AM
Dude, read the NY Times article. i said the film would NOT be True Lies 2..and Jim did not deny we'd make a film (just not True Lies 2). Please read the whole stories you're quoting. You're embarrassing those of us who love you. L,Tom A
Posted By: Tom Arnold (Guest) on August 11, 2009 at 01:13 AM
Umm... Achy Breaky Heart *is* a classic.
Posted By: Volourn (Guest) on August 11, 2009 at 01:58 AM
1 - District 9...i will download it before i decide to see it in a theatre. I had hopes for it before i noticed that jackson was attached. i still have hopes for it, but jackson is a talentless hack who got lucky with LOTR and with George Lucas open sourcing the CG technology that made them possible.
2 - conan o'brien should go back to the simpsons. not only were his years on that show the funniest, but it would also make it possible that someone who could do something funny when hosting an interview show could take over.
Posted By: Darth Mortis (Guest) on August 11, 2009 at 02:33 AM
"I love Chris Jericho as much as the next wrestling fan and his latest movie, Albino Girl, is about to hit DVD."
Then why do the posters AND the DVD cover say "Albino Farm"?
Posted By: Loki (Guest) on August 11, 2009 at 07:53 AM
Hurry with that District 9 Review.
Posted By: Ant-LOX (Guest) on August 11, 2009 at 11:07 AM
"I've been in the van for 15 years Harry."
Posted By: MBD (Guest) on August 11, 2009 at 12:19 PM
"Umm... Achy Breaky Heart *is* a classic."
Which explains the pact with Satan...
Posted By: Shawn S Lealos (Registered) on August 11, 2009 at 01:27 PM
Well we already know who will play Lucifer on Supernatural .. so what the fuck is Paris doing on there?
Posted By: K. Bett (Guest) on August 11, 2009 at 12:49 AM
I don't know. but she better Die. But come on man. It's supernatural. They havn't let us down yet. And who is playing Lucifer?
Posted By: Guest#6204 (Guest) on August 11, 2009 at 02:48 PM
"And who is playing Lucifer? "
Jacob from Lost
Posted By: Shawn S Lealos (Registered) on August 11, 2009 at 03:54 PM
Oh yeah, Jackson got lucky with three films. idiot!
Posted By: Chuck0624 (Guest) on August 11, 2009 at 06:39 PM
I caught a special screening of District 9 at AMC East in Chicago on August 5th. The movie is simply amazing. The commercials are very deceptive. Its not the film you think it will be. The interrogation scene is not in the film. I really don't want to spoil anything. It really does look and kinda starts off as an Alien Nation rip off. But quickly goes in a completely different direction.
Jackson is only a producer for the film. Weta is the effects company that really went above and beyond for this movie.
I'd have to say this is one of my must see films of the summer.
Posted By: Nick (Guest) on August 11, 2009 at 11:51 PM
