A Star is Born 08.11.09: Summer Blockbusters

Posted by Dan Baltrusis on 08.11.2009

Are these movies really worth that $10 you spend, or does Hollywood once again steal our money just because of anticipation?

The summer is supposed to be the best time of the year. Girls wearing teeny tiny bikinis, no school, and the much anticipated summer action flick. Hollywood must have embedded something into our heads that make us think that this is the only good time to show their untouchable movies. I mean, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was pushed back from November of last year to July 15th of this year just because Producers wanted a summer release. Why? The movie was good, but I expected much much more. This is the problem with these summer movie releases, we as an audience expect way more than Hollywood is willing to give us. Let's look at two movies this year alone for an example. Funny People has done pretty poorly with a star-studded cast and heavy promotion. "It's Judd Apatow, it has got to be good." Well not really, I mean when you just make half of your budget back and the summer is about to end, it is a sign that the movie isn't the best. Who would have thought that The Hangover would gross well over 200 million dollars when their budget was just around 35 million. The only people I've known that was in the movie were Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifianakis, therefore a heavy star-studded cast doesn't mean shit! Word of mouth, and any kind of action seems to fit the bill these days. Transformers 2 made a ton of money but I haven't really heard anything good about it. That leads me to rent the movie rather than pay my $10 to the box office.

Last year was probably the only good year that I can think of where Hollywood has actually put out product that was worth spending the money on. The Dark Knight just blew me away and I was lucky to get my tickets for the show on opening day and I went to purchase them at noon for the 7 o'clock showing. Everybody I know went to see Iron Man and yes, I know that May is not considered the summer, but when you get out of college the second week of May, to me, summer has begun. Everybody loved the movie, and when I saw it, I was pleasantly surprised. Indiana Jones was extremely overrated, but it had the action I needed to get me through the movie. Lastly, I was really surprised how much I liked The Incredible Hulk. I didn't think it would be any good because Ang Lee's version was down right despicable. Timothy Roth and Edward Norton can definitely act and I think that made the difference between both movies. Also, the Hulk itself didn't look to much like a cartoon. Let's now see the good and the bad that Hollywood has provided us.

Let's do this based on a Hollywood vs. The Public. If Hollywood scores a point, that means they successfully earned my money.

Armaggedon July 1st, 1998
I was 17 years old when this movie came out and the only reason to see it was if you had a girlfriend. I went with my girlfriend at the time (who had already seen it) and a bunch of friends. Well my friend Matt thought it would have been funny to tell me what was going to happen next the entire movie, because he too saw the movie. I didn't care, because like I said this movie was for the ladies. It wasn't the greatest movie, but just like Titanic you wound up seeing it numerous times. Plenty of action but a definite chick flick. Hollywood 1-0

Forrest Gump July 6th, 1994
I remember being with some relatives in Michigan when we all saw the movie and I didn't get it at all. Hell, I was 13 years old at the time, and the movie was just all over the place. A couple years later when I watched it again, I finally understood why everybody loved it. Tom Hanks can pretty much play anybody, well he used to be able to. Just an unbelievable homage to an era I was never a part of. Great, great movie. Hollywood 2-0

Batman and Robin June 20th, 1997
Am I glad I didn't see this movie at the theaters. What a horrible piece of crap this was. I really hope that there is somebody out there who liked this movie because I would really have to know Why? Everything about this was bad: the costumes, the acting, the dialogue, and the scenery. George Clooney must be embarrassed to mention that his name was involved in this movie, Arnold well I'm not too surprised. Horrible, terrible movie. Hollywood 2-1

Clerks 2 July 21st, 2006
Clerks is my favorite movie of all time. Letting that be said, I was extremely disappointed in this movie. Kevin Smith should not have made this movie and I know the only reason he did was because Jason Mewes promised he would stay clean. The donkey show was really ridiculous and the jokes didn't really have the same feel that the first movie had. It felt like he wrote the ending first(which was the best part of the movie) and decided to hurry up to fill in the rest. I own the movie and I really don't know why. Hollywood 2-2

Scary Movie July 7th, 2000
In my lifetime, I have seen two movies at the theaters more than once. This was one of those movies. Oh my God, how funny this movie is. The scene where Anna Faris is going down on her boyfriend in the car was so funny it took me about 5 minutes to stop laughing. The first good spoof movie I've seen since Spaceballs and it was worth every penny I'd spent going to see it twice. Hollywood 3-2

So far so good with Hollywood getting the benefit of the doubt. I'm still going to stick with my star rating since that is the whole point of this article




The Day After Tomorrow May 28th, 2004 **

Roland Emmerich comes out with another world disaster movie. This time Godzilla isn't taking over the country and neither are the aliens from Independance Day. Now we have really bad weather coming our way and I was extremely disappointed with this film. Don't get me wrong, this had some pretty cool special effects and I think Dennis Quaid is a great actor, but all of that didn't make up for a subpar movie. I just don't like it when movies try to be as real as possible but when the ending comes, it gives you the feeling of "Oh come on". I do believe Jake Gyllenhaal gave a pretty good performance even though he wasn't too huge of a star at the time. But once again, that ending had me pretty pissed. I can understand that some people were able to survive the extreme cold that swooshed on through, but why o why do you end the movie where everybody is on top of their roof. If I was in that predicament, there would be no way in hell I would ever leave the place that I was safe. Somehow Mr. Emmerich must have thought, "Hey, if everybody would be visible, then they all can be saved". If you were going for a realistic movie Mr. Emmerich, then your ending should have been better. I give this 1 1/2 * for the cool special effects. Hollywood 3-3




The Happening June 13th, 2008 **

Why does it irritate me so much to want to see everything that M. Night Shyamalan comes out with. Every time one of his new movies comes out I can't wait to see it, and then I am extremely disappointed. I honestly think he has only come out with one good film and that was The Sixth Sense. Unbreakable was terrible, The Village was okay, but his last two films The Lady in the Water and The Happening were down right terrible. If Zooey Deschanel was in the entire movie, and I mean from beginning scene to the very last, then this movie would have been good because Zooey Deschanel is simply gorgeous. Even she couldn't save this complete waste of a movie. "The WIND is causing people to kill themselves, THE WIND" are you kidding me. Mark Wahlberg, John Leguizamo you actually signed up for this? Where in the script made you think this would actually be any good. The funny thing is that at the end the wind just.... stopped! What? Am I really watching this movie. Rated R, more like it should have been rated Waste of my Time.
Terrible film -* and Hollywood 3-4




The Bourne Identity June 14, 2002 ***

Finally, I can talk good about a film, it's been awhile. Matt Damon shows why he is one of the best actors to this day. This film was absolutely fantastic. I will admit, the first time I saw this movie I was half asleep and didn't watch the whole thing and I didn't really care for it. About 3 months ago, yes it has been awhile, I decided to watch it again and I was blown away. Non-stop action and excitement and a well-acted movie and that is what we want from our summer films. I love it when somewhat big stars (Julia Stiles) sign on because they appreciate the greatness of a film even though their part isn't that big. Hell, Clive Owen made a name for himself in this movie because I didn't know who he was at the time and now he's very popular. Brian Cox was brilliant and that is all it takes for a fun, exciting, successful film. Get some good actors and have excitement and the film will succeed. Hollywood should take some notes. The second film is still my favorite but I definitely will give this movie it's due. *** Hollywood 4-4

Two movies left and we are all tied up.




Batman Forever June 16th, 1995 ***
I was actually surprised to see that this movie received three stars. Was it a good movie, sure, but was it worthy of three stars, probably not. Talk about getting a cast that is on fire. Jim Carrey, Tommy Lee Jones, Val Kilmer and Nicole Kidman were all at their peak of their careers. But what happens when you hand these people a script that is not the greatest, the movie kind of disappoints. Tommy Lee Jones is "too" over the top as Two-face and Nicole Kidman is "too" bland and boring as Dr. Chase Meridian. Val Kilmer and Jim Carrey do play their parts very well and I think Val Kilmer might be one of the best to portray Batman. But why is Chris O'donnell in this movie? He is a terrible actor and I hated the character of Robin. This movie could have been a whole lot better but the ending was bad and so was the dialogue. No way this should have received three stars but I must say it was pretty entertaining so I'll go with ** because there are more positives than negatives. Hollywood 5-4




Fantastic Four July 8th 2005 **

I might be one of the happiest people on earth because I didn't pay to see this movie. What a piece of garbage this was. Now, I've only read about 15 comic books in my lifetime and they all pretty much were X-Men, but if I were a fan of these stories, I would have demanded my money back. Was this movie written by 5 year olds? This wasn't just corny but down right stupid. If people think Chris Evans should be a male lead in a movie, then please watch this film. He is a terrible actor. Jessica Alba, why are people so obsessed with her. She looks okay, but she too CAN'T ACT. I feel bad for Michael Chiklis because he is such a great actor, I mean who didn't love him as The Commish. The money must have been good because I don't understand why he would have signed up for this rubbish. Then we have the ending. All of a sudden, the know how to defeat the bad guy. I always thought of Dr. Doom to be this menacing figure, but I never would have figured that out in this movie. Just terrible, that is what the title should have been called. -* Hollywood 5-6 Sorry, but when a movie this bad comes out you should double the refund.

Hollywood just loses out, and now we can see that just because it is a summer blockbuster, doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be any good.

Until next time
Baltrusis, out