Ask 411 Movies for 08.17.09: The Column that Corners the Orange Juice Market

Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 08.17.2009

Trading Places, Mary Chapin Carpenter, sex and horror movies, celebrities on Sesame Street, real people with G.I. Joe action figures and the All-NFL All-Actor team.

From YouTube this week and keeping with our August theme of celebrities singing on "Sesame Street" we have an all-star cast helping out Grover with the "Monster in the Mirror." I can pick out Kadeem Hardison, Whoopi Goldberg, Robin Williams, Lou Diamond Phillips, Siskel and Ebert, Candice Bergman, Jeff Goldblum, the Frugal Gourmet, Tyne Daly, Julia Roberts, Malcolm Jamal Warner, Bo Jackson, Ray Charles, Tracy Ullman, Kid and possibly Play, Cindy Brinkley and the Simpsons.



I got a lot of compliments on the G.I. Joe sequel pitch I wrote last week. Let's only hope it gets picked up and that Stephen Sommers pays me for it.

Also need to clarify this taken from last week's write-up on Behind the Mask.

"Having sex saves you in a horror film."

Isn't this exactly wrong? In every Friday the 13th movie set at Camp Crystal Lake, every teen that has sex also has about two minutes left to live.
-saneiac

A: It is exactly wrong. If you read the sentence right before I say it would be funny if that's what the ending was. The film is all about exploring the elements of slasher films and the concept of the virgin girl hero is brought up. As also written last week, advice given to the one girl in the movie is when stalked by a slasher to keep running until you see daylight or if you have a virgin in your crew, get her laid.

Sex has long been a taboo element explored in horror films, especially with the rise of the slasher genre. Particularly in the Friday the 13th series as you mention, it seems that when anyone has sex they are immediately earmarked for death. Sometimes death comes while they're in the act. It's been put forth by many critics that this is social commentary on the morals of society being put on youth or the fear of sexually transmitted diseases. The covert message is basically, don't have sex and you live longer.

Q: The blond chick you couldn't remember in the Sesame Street video is Mary Chapin Carpenter, who had a couple of big country hits and then disappeared off the face of the earth.
-GKC

A: Thank you. Like a pirate with a steering wheel in his fly, it was driving me nuts. A quick glance at Wikipedia says she's working on a new album and has been writing a column for the Washington Times on music and politics since December 2008. Her only number one country song was "Shut and Kiss Me," but her biggest crossover hit was "Passionate Kisses." Other top five hits include "Down at the Twist and Shout," "I Feel Lucky," "He Thinks He'll Keep Her" and "I Take My Chances." Below was her break out performance at the 1990 Country Music Awards with "Opening Act."



Q: Hey Boss.
Could you explain in detail the ending of Trading Places? Don't get me wrong, I get the gist of it, but the details all play out kind of non-sensical. (Is that even a word?) Ackroyd and Murphy falsify a crop report, which causes the Duke's to buy up all the OJ stock. At some point Ackroyd yells something very quickly that I could never make out. This causes everyone to start selling sell their stock. Then when the legit crop report comes out, which causes the stock to drop even further, at which point Murphy's and Ackroyd's characters to go to town and corner the market, making them rich and bankrupting the Dukes. Again, I get the basic gist of it, but it is never really explained how this whole series of events plays out or is conceivable. Then again, I'm not a stockbroker. I guess my biggest question is what Ackroyd yells out and how that causes everyone to start selling...

I'm smarter than I look, by the way...
-BP

A: I'm not a stockbroker either, but I do think your basic gist is correct. I do know, Winthrop tells Reggie as they get out of the cab, the main thing to remember is to buy low and sell high, which is basically what they do.

First start with the crop report, if it says that orange crops are going to be low in the coming year due to a harsh winter then that would mean the cost for orange based items, like frozen concentrated orange juice, would go up. So if you bought stock in the company while prices were still low then you would make money when the prices go up. As brokers buy more shares of a stock, it causes that stock to rise. What Winthrop yells is "selling April at 1.42." You will notice that the board the stock prices are on is marked Apr for April. I'm guessing that's the current month they're in and they record prices by the month and I'm also guessing that Winthrop and Reggie bought stock at some point we don't see so they have stock to sell. So, as they sell their stock the price goes down. When the stock report comes out and it says that the orange crop will not be affected that makes the stock overpriced, more people sell and the price goes down even further. Winthrop then says "buy ‘em" when the price reaches 46 cents and they buy through the close at 29 cents. So if they sold stock at $1.42 and bought it back at an average of 37 cents then that means they made roughly $1.05 per share not to mention cornering the orange juice market on the cheap and the dividends they'll get from that. If such things interest you I would recommend watching Wallstreet, particularly the Endicott Steel sequence.



Q: ...I'm listening to the GI JOE segment of your podcast this week, and the question of real life people who were Joes came up. You're right--there was a third person slated to be a real-life Joe...well, kinda

Way back when, Hasbro had approached Slyvester Stallone about licensing his character Rocky Balboa to be the third exclusive mail-in figure. Stallone was amenable at first--and if you can uncover the old GI JOE ORDER OF BATTLE character guides, you will find an entry for Rocky that lists him as a Joe Trainer.

However, at the last minute, Stallone decided to sign a toy contract with LJN, which led to the legendarily bad RAMBO AND THE FREEDOM FORCE, the first cartoon in television animation history that was based on a series of R-Rated films! With Stallone with LJN, the Hasbro deal fell through, and the potential oddity of Rocky trying to whip Shipwreck into shape went the way of the dodo.
Just thought you'd like to know...and knowing is half the battle....
-Thomas

A: Thank you for that information Thomas. And thanks for listening to the podcast. And you can listen to the podcast too by clicking here.

Actually I've found a list on Wikipedia of real people honored with G.I. Joe figures over the years totaling about 30. They include astronaut Buzz Aldrin, comedian Bob Hope, Army Master Sgt. Roy Benavidez, SFC Charlie Bury as part of the 1999 "Real-Life Spirit of G.I. Joe" contest, astronaut Robert Crippen, Army Sgt. Francis Currey, President Dwight Eisenhower, Army Lt. John Fox, President John F. Kennedy, Civil War General Robert E. Lee, General Douglas MacArthur, actor and soldier Audie Murphy, Air Force General Jimmy Doolittle, General Omar Bradley, Marine Colonel Mitchell Paige, General George Patton, Navy Corpsman Francis Pierce, Former Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Colin Powell, war correspondent Ernie Pyle, President Teddy Roosevelt, President George Washington, baseball player Ted Williams, Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones, Roddy Piper as a member of Cobra, 2001 G.I. Joe fan club president David S. Lane, 2001 G.I. Joe fan club officer Brian K. Mullholland, 2005 FHM contest winner Luke Ellison and, of course, Sgt. Slaughter and William Perry.

It was a light week and I'm doing a show and am busy at work, so forgive me as I feel space with a reprint. With football season on its way, we take a look back at the All-NFL All-Actor team. The idea was to fill out a whole team and go with guys who had fairly extensive film and television credits, not just Brett Favre in Something About Mary even though he might be the most talented guy available.

Joe Namath-QB-Namath became the first star of the newly merged NFL when he guaranteed a win in Super Bowl III with the New York Jets. A hard partying lifestyle and bad knees meant it was all downhill from there. He starred in his first film in 1970, as mechanic turned motorcycle gang member CC Ryder in CC and Company. He has also been in Norwood, The Last Rebel, Going Under, The Green Visionary, The Avalanche Express and the short lived series "The Waverly Wonders," which Joe got after Larry Hagman passed in order to do "Dallas."

Terry Bradshaw-QB-He won four Super Bowls with the Pittsburgh Steelers and is currently an in studio analyst for Fox. Bradshaw was good friends with Burt Reynolds and appeared in several of his movies including Smokey and the Bandit II, Hooper and The Cannonball Run. An unsold pilot was filmed for a series that would have revolved around Bradshaw and country singer Mel Tillis' characters from Run. Director Hal Needham said it was the funniest thing he ever saw in his life. He also played Matthew McCaughney's dad in Failure to Launch.

Don Meredith-QB-He helmed the Dallas Cowboys for nine seasons and then rose to even greater fame in the booth for "Monday Night Football." He parlayed that into a host of guest spots and TV movies. He last appeared in 2002's Three Days of Rain.

Jim Brown-RB-He retired from the Cleveland Browns after nine seasons to try his hand in Hollywood. His big break was in 1967's The Dirty Dozen. He has made over forty films including Ice Station Zebra, 100 Rifles, Black Slaughter, The Running Man, I'm Gonna Get You Sucka, Original Gangstas, Small Soliders, Any Given Sunday and Mars Attacks!

OJ Simpson-RB-Simpson broke the single season rushing record with the Buffalo Bills and ended his career with the San Francisco 49'ers. Simpson appeared in all three Naked Gun movies as well as The Towering Inferno, Killer Force, Capricorn One, The Cassandra Crossing and Firepower. Simpson was up for the title role in The Terminator, but was rejected because the producers didn't feel he would be believable as a cold blooded killer.

Ed Marinaro-RB-A Heisman Trophy runner up at Cornell, Marinaro played in the NFL with the Vikings, Seahawks and Jets. He had recurring roles on "Laverne and Shirley" and "Edge of Night" before landing a meaty part on "Hill Street Blues." He later had a supporting role on "Sisters" and starred as Joey Buttafuocoe in one of the ten million Amy Fisher made for TV movies. One of the lesser ones too, he only got to snog Noelle Parker. He has a Kevin Bacon number of 1, having appeared with him in Queen's Logic in 1991.

Mike Henry-LB-Henry played with the Pittsburgh Steelers and later the LA Rams where he signed a contract with Warner Brothers. After doing some television guest shots he took over the role of Tarzan in a series of B-movies. When the films were going to be converted into a television series he managed to get out of his contract. He was originally considered to star in "Batman," but when the series was re-envisioned as a camp comedy Adam West got the part. Henry is probably best known as Junior in the Smokey and the Bandit films. He became friends with Burt Reynolds during the making of The Longest Yard, which featured several other ex-NFL'ers including Joe Kapp and Ray Nitschke. Henry was also buddies with John Wayne and appeared in The Green Berets and Rio Lobo.

Fred Dryer-DE-Dryer played 13 years in the NFL, mostly with the Rams. He holds the NFL record for most safeties in one game with two. Dryer and Julia Duffy were the runner up couple to Ted Danson and Shelly Long for the starring roles on "Cheers." Everything worked out for Fred who wound up as kick ass cop "Hunter." Two successful reunion films led to a short lived comeback of the series in 2003. Dryer also starred in the syndicated series "Land's End" and has made a handful of B-movies.

Dick Butkus-LB-Butkus is one of the all time great Chicago Bears and former owner of Klawicki's on "My Two Dads." Which is a greater honor is hard to say. He usually does wind up playing grizzled Polish guys, also evident in the short lived "Blue Thunder" and "Hang Time." He also once played Brom Bones opposite Jeff Goldblum as Ichabod Crane in a made for TV version of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow." Someone find me a copy of that.

Rosey Grier-DT- This is from Grier's bio on the imdb, "brawling L.A. Rams football player, guitar-strumming folk singer, and expert at the art of macramé." That's all you need to know. Grier famously told boys it was ok to cry on "Free to Be You & Me" and had Ray Milland stuck on his shoulder in The Man with Two Heads. He even hosted his own variety show in 1969.

Merlin Olson-DT-Part of the Rams Fearsome Foursome, Olson went on to be an all around swell guy hawking FTD gift baskets and being Amish. After bit parts in films such as The Undefeated with Rock Hudson and John Wayne and the notorious Mitchell, Olson landed on "Little House on the Prairie" replacing Victor French as Michael Landon's burly sidekick. When French returned to the show in 1981 Olson was given "Father Murphy" where he pretended to be a preacher in order to run a frontier orphanage. I'm sure that looked good on paper. His character got an update in 1988 with the short lived "Aaron's Way." Olson played an Amish man who moved his family from Pennsylvania to California when his son who had left the fold was killed in a surfing accident. The trek was in order for the family to help the dead son's pregnant girlfriend run her family vineyard. Now that looks like shit on paper too.

Deacon Jones-DE-Another Ram, Jones appeared in Heaven Can Wait and The Norsemen, starring Lee Majors as a Viking and not the kind from Minnesota. He was also possibly God on the USA series "G vs. E."

Fred Williamson-CB-The Hammer kicked butt for the Raiders and Chiefs before entering the world of acting in the early seventies. Williamson was a star of the blaxploitation genre and formed his own production company, Po Boy, in 1974, which allowed him to write, direct and produce many of his own projects. More recently he was seen as the police captain in Starsky and Hutch.

Howie Long-DE-A hall of famer for the Raiders Long is currently a studio analyst for Fox. Long got some notice as John Travolta's sidekick in Broken Arrow, but an attempt to turn him into a full fledge action star bombed with Firestorm. He has also appeared in Dollar for the Dead and 3000 Miles to Graceland with Kevin Costner and Kurt Russell.

Alex Karras-DT-He played with the Lions from 1958-1971, barring a one year banishment for gambling. His acting career got off to a great start in 1974 as Mongo in Blazing Saddles and hit a nadir as the dad on "Webster." He's also done Porky's, Nobody's Perfekt, Victor/Victoria, Against All Odds, When Time Ran Out, FM and Mad Moose and the Quaterback Kid. He was the Moose.

Bubba Smith-DT-Smith has stated in numerous interviews that he felt Super Bowl III was rigged. He was on the losing end with the Colts and later played with the Raiders and Oilers. Smith is best known as Hightower from the Police Academy series and of popular Miller Lite ads with Dick Butkus.

Brian Bosworth-LB-The Boz was more famous for his haircut than his minimal career with the Seattle Seahawks. Bosworth started acting as leverage for his NFL contract negotiations. He wanted them to know that he could spend the year taking bit parts in Hollywood and not starve. He starred in one of the greatest bad movies of all time in 1991 with Stone Cold. As John Stone he was an undercover cop infiltrating a biker gang led by Lance Henriksen.

Carl Weathers-LB-Weathers played for the Raiders and the British Columbia Lions in the CFL. He is best known as Apollo Creed in the Rocky series and getting his arm blown off in Predator. He'll be running for governor of some state shortly. Attempts to make him an action star in the late eighties with Action Jackson and the short lived series "Fortune Dane" (notice how many of these series are ‘short lived') failed. He was a late addition to the cast of "In the Heat of the Night" and was Chubbs in Happy Gilmore. Weathers was a finalist for the role of Benjamin Sisko on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Lyle Alzado-DE-His life was cut short due to steroid abuse during his time in the NFL with the Broncos and Raiders. Guys around here might know him from the infamous "Learning the Ropes" where he played a masked wrestler by night and a high school teacher by day. He was also in Who's Harry Crumb, Tapeheads, Destroyer, Ernest Goes to Camp and Zapped Again!

John Matuszak-DE-Yet another ex-Raider. Matuszak's finest acting moment was as Sloth in Goonies. Not to mention him kicking ass in North Dallas Forty, Ice Pirates, Caveman, One Man Force and The Dirty Dozen: The Fatal Mission.

Bob Golic-DT-His brother Mike also played in the NFL. Bob went into the league in 1979 and played for the Patriots, Browns and Raiders. He probably should have stayed there as his biggest acting role was as the RA to Screech, Zack and Slater on "Saved by the Bell: The College Years."

Rolf Benirschke-K-We have to have a kicker and this guy was a Pro Bowler with the Chargers. In 1989 "Wheel of Fortune" got a makeover and the daytime and nighttime versions were split. Rolf hosted the daytime edition for a short period before being canned in favor of Bob Goen.



Don't die.

"I got 'em boxed in like a turtle's pecker."