The Hollywood 5 & 1 8.21.09: Glorious Basterds Edition
Posted by Steve Gustafson on 08.22.2009
This week we look at the biggest non-sex tape scandal, Lindsay Lohan as you've never seen her, Kourtney Kardashian courts controversy, and Playboy magazine wants Diane Kruger to keep her clothes on! Plus, a big announcement that will change the Hollywood 5 & 1 forever!
BEFORE WE BEGIN...
Welcome to the Hollywood 5 & 1! I'm "Gentleman" Steve Gustafson, and while summer is winding down, things are heating up in Tinseltown! With plenty of leaked photos, sex tapes, and other shenanigans, it's keeping this writer on his toes! Oh, and if you have been following the Pop-tart saga between "Mighty" Mike Gorman, and myself I'm still winning the "Frosted Cinnamon Pop Tarts are better than the Fudge Pop Tarts" debate. Feel free to weigh in at the bottom. But please don't try to throw another flavor into the race. Frosted Cherry? C'mon.
I promised you a SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT regarding the Hollywood 5 & 1 and I will deliver. In a little bit.
Let's get this started proper. I was over on TMZ and saw this little tidbit about Lindsay Lohan. Seems she had some trouble when she went to Mott Corner Deli. Seems she bought some stuff and left when she realized she had left her phone inside the shop. However, when Lohan went back, the deli worker insisted on checking the security tape to make sure it was hers before handing it back. Safety first. Being a HUGE STAR, this sent Lindsay over the edge! Multiple people at the scene, including the deli worker, reported that she was so angry that the guy wouldn't just hand over the phone, that she had someone call the NYPD for backup. Whoa. New York's finest arrived at 7:30 PM, but by the time the officer showed up to the situation had been "diffused." The best part of the story: The deli worker said he had no idea who she was. I love starting with happy endings.
BUSTED. In more ways than one.
So did you catch the newest issue of Playboy? Douche Spencer Pratt and his chick, Heidi Montag, interviewed each other in one of the worst pieces ever printed by the esteemed magazine. Seriously. Pratt even gave out his number, which is really some hotline type deal. I won't bother printing it, but it just makes me want to set up a charity MMA match even more.
Let me get tooting my own horn out of the way. This past Monday I filled in again for Chad Webb and his Big Screen Bulletin, which I will be taking over starting with issue #201. I guess I can still give you the linkage for my G.I. Joe review and (500) Days of Summer review.
WHO SAID WHAT? "I had to go up to the cheap seats and tell these guys to stop yelling 'Lieutenant Dan!' They sort of obliged a little bit...I get back to my seat and all they kept yelling was 'Hey, it's the fat kid from Stand By Me.'"
Jerry O'Connell became an object of fun for a group of drunk baseball fans after he asked them to stop ruining his pal Gary Sinise's day at the ballpark. The two stars were watching a game at the Dodgers stadium in Los Angeles when the fans recognized Sinise from Forrest Gump and started referring to him by his amputee character, Lieutenant Dan.
CELEBRITY TWITTER-A-GO-GO!
No matter what you think about Twitter, it's making headlines. Saying that, I pick those headlines and deliver them right to you so you don't have to suffer following thousands of Tweets. You're welcome.
Robert Pattinson has blamed Twitter for ruining his life, because it lets obsessive fans know where he is constantly. Robinson has urged his admirers to keep their distance after he was recently struck by a taxi while trying to escape a group of over-excited devotees on a New York movie shoot. He has admitted he's often scared to go outside because of the number of screaming girls who follow his every move. And now he has taken aim at the internet and social networking sites because he can't stay in one place for very long for fear his fans will be able to find him. He says, "I can't remember what my normal life is like. Because of internet stuff and Twitter, there will be a crowd if you are in a place for more than half an hour...I've learned never to stay in the same place for more than 20 minutes. The biggest challenge is coping with the crowds. I am a quiet, private person. It's strange. You have to change a little bit. Walking down the street comes with screaming." Screaming. Just like I did when I tried to get through Twilight.
Are you following the REAL 411mania on Twitter? Don't be fooled by the imitators!
Sweet Tweet "9 the official trailer - the animation looks insanely good: http://om.ly/GVRZ GR" Guy Kawasaki (GuyKawasaki) who is the co-founder of Alltop and all around cool guy. You have to start following him to check out that trailer link.
COMING & GOING
Tinseltown is in constant flux. Consider this to be your scorecard for marriage, divorce, who had a baby, and who just passed away. I would include arrests but I don't have the room!
News pioneer Don Hewitt has lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 86. The 60 Minutes creator, a veteran newsman at the CBS network, died on Wednesday. He was diagnosed with a small, contained tumor earlier this year and underwent treatment for the disease.
Actor Tom Cavanagh has become a dad for the third time. Cavanagh and wife Maureen Grise welcomed their second son, James Joseph Cavanagh, on August 5. Little James joins older siblings three-year-old Alice Ann and two-year-old Thomas Patrick.
Actress and model Ruth Ford has died at her home in New York at the age of 98.
Award-winning movie producer Clive Parsons has lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 66.
Political commentator and journalist Robert Novak has died at the age of 78. The conservative debater, who often appeared on television and was the co-host of CNN's Crossfire, passed away at his home in Washington, D.C. on Tuesday after battling brain cancer.
Former child star Virginia Davis, known as Walt Disney's first movie star, has died. She was 90 years old. The actress passed away of natural causes on Saturday at her home in Corona, California.
Actor Ed Reimers, who appeared in Star Trek and The Millionaire, has died. He was 96. The star passed away at his daughter's house in New York on Sunday.
Johnny Knoxville is to be a father for the second time. Naomi Nelson, the star's girlfriend of almost a year, is three months pregnant with his child.
Hollywood talent agent Tom Korman has died after suffering heart failure. He was 76.
Jason Schwartzman has confirmed reports he wed designer Brady Cunningham last month. The newlyweds exchanged vows at their home in California on 11 July.
JUST MISSED THE CUT
Quick little news briefs that just missed the official 5!
Should we be expecting any revealing photos or videos to hit online soon? Twilight actress Nikki Reed has lost her treasured holiday photos after a thief stole her laptop. Holiday photos. Is that what we are calling them now? The actress was visiting Greece with Paris Hilton's former boyfriend Paris Latsis when her computer was stolen. This guy again? A source told blogger Perez Hilton that Reed was overheard saying, "I had so much fun in Greece this summer. I wish I had pictures to show you, but my laptop was stolen with everything on it. The police are trying to find it for me, but I doubt they will, which really sucks!" It's the second time the actress has been targeted by thieves; her prized guitar was also recently taken. I'm sure if anything interesting is on the laptop, it will turn up. On the 5 & 1!
If you have her laptop, please contact me at stevethegoose@gmail.com.
Alright, let's get to the actual Hollywood 5 & 1. I go through 5 things out of Hollywood this past week that made me scratch my head and...well you have to keep reading to find out how the & 1 is going to change...forever! Let's go!
The Non-Sex Tape Incident
Los Angeles authorities are reviewing Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart's sex video for any "criminal activity" as part of an official investigation. Wow. Out of ALL the sex tapes that Hollywood has produced, THIS is the one they target? Fans were stunned when footage of the husband-and-wife couple frolicking nude with former Miss Teen USA Kari Ann Peniche hit the internet on Monday. Stunned...and extremely jealous of Dane. Extremely. In the edited clip, the seemingly intoxicated trio lounge on a bed, passing a camera around and dreaming up porn names for each other. An anonymous source gave the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) a copy of Dane's tape last month, prompting a thorough investigation into the trio's activity on film. A statement released by the LAPD says, "On July 30, 2009, an unnamed source provided the LAPD's Detective Support and Vice Division with a copy of a DVD. According to the source, the DVD contained images that could link celebrities engaging in illegal activity. The LAPD was in the process of reviewing the voluminous files contained on the DVD when the story was leaked to the media. No determination has been made as to whether or not the DVD contained any information that could be used for a criminal investigation. Some of the information contained on the DVD included archived articles and photographs of porn stars and formally convicted madams, which could readily be found over the internet. The LAPD will continue to review the DVD for potential evidence. Therefore, additional information about the contents of the DVD will be treated as confidential." There you go. Sleep soundly at night knowing the LAPD will be meticulously going over this tape looking for evidence. Sheesh. That was the worst non-statement I've ever read. Meanwhile, a lawyer for the actor has threatened to sue anyone who publishes the "private, confidential tape," adding, "from what I've seen, it's a naked tape, not a sex tape." Still, a naked tape with Garyheart and Peniche is still greater than a tape of a regular family vacation.
Some guys have all the luck!
Kourtney Kardashian at Crossroad!
Reality TV star Kourtney Kardashian considered aborting her unplanned pregnancy before she reconciled with ex-fiancé Scott Disick. The socialite revealed her shock news last Wednesday and followed it up by confirming she had reunited with her former partner after learning she was carrying his child. Kardashian, who spilt from Disick in November after two years of dating, recently confessed she had conceived with her former beau after forgetting to take a contraceptive pill, and has blamed the pregnancy on her "stupidity" and bad memory. She's honest, you have to give her that. However, when the star found out she was expecting she was faced with a life-changing decision, and considered booking herself in for a termination. She told People.com, "I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not, and I wasn't thinking about adoption. I do think every woman should have the right to do what they want, but I don't think it's talked through enough. I can't even tell you how many people just say, 'Oh, get an abortion.' Like it's not a big deal. I looked online, and I was sitting on bed hysterically crying, reading these stories of people who felt so guilty from having an abortion. I was reading these things of how many people are traumatized by it afterwards. I was just sitting there crying, thinking, 'I can't do that." However, Kardashian is now confident she's made the right decision to have the child, and the couple is looking forward to starting a family. She adds, "For me, all the reasons why I wouldn't keep the baby were so selfish: It wasn't like I was raped, it's not like I'm 16. I'm 30 years old, I make my own money, I support myself, I can afford to have a baby. And I am with someone who I love, and have been with for a long time...My doctor told me there is nothing you will ever regret about having the baby, but he was like, 'You may regret not having the baby.' And I was like: That is so true. And it just hit me. I got so excited, and when I told Scott he was so excited. But I think if I had said I'm not going to keep it, I really think he would have pushed me into keeping it." The "A" word is a touchy subject so I'm staying clear of it. I will just end this that Kourtney told US Magazine that she'd be open to posing nude while pregnant. Let the offers begin!
New poll: Is pregnancy sexy?
Simpson VS. The Tabloids! Jessica Simpson has waged war with a U.S. tabloid, sending in her lawyers to tackle a string of untrue stories about her love life. Star magazine recently reported that Simpson is planning a tell-all book about her life, suggesting she might reveal intimate details about her previous romances, including her marriage to singer Nick Lachey. But reps for the singer/actress have insisted the story is not true and her lawyers have issued a warning letter to the publication, urging editors to issue a retraction and an apology. In documents obtained by GossipCop.com (Remember them? I mentioned this new site a few weeks back!), the star's legal team called the stories "unseemly and scandalous" and ordered the magazine to "cease and desist from publishing any further false and misleading allegations concerning Miss Simpson". Simpson previously threatened legal action against Ok! magazine in early 2008, relating to a false article about her relationship with now ex-boyfriend Tony Romo. Does it matter if her being dumb is an act if she has a team of lawyers ready to pounce?
Be careful what you say about her in the comments section. You never know who might be reading!
Copperfield Hoping Lawsuit Will Disappear! **POOF**David Copperfield has blasted a woman suing him for sexual assault, calling her lawsuit "extortion for money". A 22-year-old fashion model filed a federal lawsuit against Copperfield, alleging the magician sexually assaulted and threatened her when she stayed on his private island in July 2007, according to legal documents obtained by the Seattle Times. The unidentified woman claims that after watching a film in Copperfield's room, he "attacked and sexually assaulted her" and threatened to kill her if she resisted. Who here wants to know what film they watched? She also maintains Copperfield assaulted her twice more before she was able to leave the island and report the alleged assaults to authorities in Seattle, Washington. But Copperfield's lawyers have released a statement defending the star, and dismissing the model's suit as a bid for financial gain. It reads, "This woman, who filed the lawsuit, has a history of lying...She has lied to law enforcement before and, as a result, had innocent people arrested based on a false accusation. She is incapable of telling the truth. This lawsuit is extortion for money, plain and simple. Unfortunately, false claims like this only hurt the women who really have been abused, women who really need our help." I'm not making light of assault. But don't you think he would do it with a bit more flair than the old "come-back-to-my-room-to-watch-a-movie" trick? The dude made the STATUE OF LIBERTY DISAPPEAR!
Didn't See THIS Coming.
Actress Diane Kruger was shocked by her new Playboy magazine spread, because editors chose to cover her up. Let me go on record to say she wasn't the only person shocked. And disappointed. Kruger agreed to pose in a series of provocative shots for the publication's 20 Questions interview segment, but photo editors chose the least sexy shot of her. She says, "I'm actually more covered up in the picture they used than any other photo shoot I've been in. I'm wearing a full-on trench coat and a beret." To avoid these types of missteps in the future, I have volunteered to act as picture consultant for future issues of Playboy. Free of charge, of course.
What say you? More or less?
It's with great pleasure that introduce a brand new feature at the Hollywood 5 & 1! The & 1 Model of the Week! That's right! Starting next week (and every week after) I'll invite a model to stop by for a quick chat and share a delicious photo or two. All I ask is you keep it respectable in the comment section. These ladies WILL be checking to see the interview and I wouldn't want to scare them from telling a friend. Thanks! Wait a minute. YOU should be thanking me! So, who's the first & 1 Model of the Week? You'll have to tune in next week to find out!
Who do YOU want to see?
Before I say GOODBYE!
I would be remiss if I didn't mention some of the other OUTSTANDING articles on www.411mania.com. You would be doing yourself a disservice if you didn't peep around the site. I always get my daily habit of reading. Here's a small sample!
Great column Steve-O, but what was the big announcement? ha! Jk. Cool feature. Can't wait to see the first model interview. P.S. Again, not sure how you think you're winning the debate? Oppressive sales numbers don't work when the products are not carried equally. Keep dreaming Cinnabuns!
Posted By: Mike Gorman (Registered) on August 22, 2009 at 01:40 AM
I think Robert Pattinson and Cody Rhodes were switched at birth.
Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth (Guest) on August 22, 2009 at 11:06 AM
I'm sure I heard Jerry O'Connell's story before on a late night show or something. It definitely didn't happen recently.
Posted By: Crazy (Guest) on August 22, 2009 at 02:54 PM
That's three times now that I heard there was no nudity in Playboy. Olivia Munn, That Montag chick and now this chick. Either Hef is starting to go blind or something is goin' on here.
Posted By: the dude (Guest) on August 23, 2009 at 10:33 AM
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