411 Fact or Fiction Movies/TV 08.28.09: Week 192

Posted by Ben Piper on 08.28.2009

Will Halloween II be better than it's predecessor? Will Ang Lee's Taking Woodstock be a great film recounting the making of the historic music festival? Will The Final Destination be the best installment of the franchise? Should Robert Zemeckis back away from remaking Yellow Submarine? 411's Will Helm and Jason Chamberlain debate these and other topics in week 192 of 411 Fact or Fiction: Movies/TV!



Hey y'all. Welcome back to the column that has all the kids toes tapping, Fact or Fiction. This week Will Helm and Jason Chamberlain are in the house. Let's find out what's on their minds…

1. Rob Zombie's Halloween II will be better than the first installment.

Will Helm: Fact. For a filmmaker like Rob Zombie, who is wired for excess, a sequel usually ends up better because so much is thrown into the original to make it bloated and meandering. This is certainly true of Zombie's first efforts, House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects. While House of 1,000 Corpses had a lot of potential, it was also confused and dragged on far too long. The Devil's Rejects, however, was a pointed throwback to old exploitation cinema and worked well as such. I can only imagine that the next Halloween film will follow in the same mold, as the general feeling on the first -- which I have yet to see, even though it's always on cable lately -- is that it's good, but could have been better; the sequel will build on that to greater heights.

Jason Chamberlain: Fact. Sequels, the ones done right anyway, always have a good chance of being better than the original for a number of reasons. The constraints of introducing (or reintroducing/remixing in this case) a universe and its cast of characters are alleviated and you can focus simply on telling the best story possible. Or in the case of a horror movie, perhaps, simply throwing up as much blood and guts on the screen as you can. If that's the goal, I'm sure it was met, and since horror flicks, and this franchise in particular have a built in audience, I'm sure it will be a success.

Score: 1 for 1

2. You can't see Robert Downey Jr. playing Lestat in a reboot of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles.

Will Helm: Fact. I know that Robert Downey Jr. -- RDJ to his homies -- is one of Hollywood's hottest properties right now, with the Iron Man franchise under his belt as well as Sherlock Holmes on the horizon. It's no surprise that he's the subject of more casting rumors now than ever, but this is one that won't come to fruition. First, I think that the Anne Rice ship has sailed and, even though vampires are having a pop-culture Renaissance lately, nothing can save the franchise from the atrocious Queen of the Damned. In addition, RDJ just doesn't seem "right" for the part; even though he is a great and experienced actor, his recent on-screen persona seems too cool for something like Lestat, who generally seems to favor the dark and brooding characterizations. More importantly, RDJ has better things to do, as does Hollywood . . . though that's never stopped them before!

Jason Chamberlain: Fact. Will nailed this one on the head. He has better things to do. For starters, can a man have three franchises on the go at once? I know I say this well in advance of Sherlock Holmes' release and it may flop, thus not warranting sequels, but I honestly don't see that happening. It looks great, and I think it'll be perfectly timed to take advantage of a traditionally slow time at the movies this holidays. And from what little I know of Lestat, he just doesn't seem right for the part. That, and is anyone really asking for more Anne Rice movies? This vampire stuff is becoming the equivalent of the boy band boom of a decade ago. Where's O-Town? Anyway, I'd rather see Rob keep rocking the shit as Iron Man and Holmes, while busting out killer roles in smaller flicks like Charlie Bartlett and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

Score: 2 for 2

3. You're bummed that the rumored Arrested Development big-screen movie probably won't happen.

Will Helm: Fiction. I absolutely loved Arrested Development. Even though I didn't catch it until reruns started on G4, I caught up quickly and found it to be one of the most original and, more significantly, hilarious American television programs of the decade. Strangely, though, I think the show is better off without a follow-up film, mainly because it adds to the mystique of the original series. I am well aware that the cast of Arrested Development was one of the funniest in recent memory and it'd be great to see them reprise their roles for one last hurrah, but I have the awful feeling that a movie would only serve to dilute the original show's legacy, much like many other television-to-film adaptations/continuations. Sex in the City, anyone?

Jason Chamberlain: Fiction. Nope, because *ducks* I never watched the show in the first place. I've heard all the great things about it, and I enjoy the work of a lot of the people involved in the show (Jason Bateman, Jeffrey Tambor, Michael Cera, Portia de Rossi, Will Arnett, Tony Hale...) but for whatever reason I simply never found the show, on its first run or any other. Granted I could in the future, and my answer to this question could change greatly, but for now I say no.

And as Will said, turning TV shows into one off movies is always a sketchy proposition. In a lot of ways, it's one or the other, and what makes a TV show so great simply doesn't work on a movie screen, and vice versa. Really, it would have been best not to cancel it at all.

Score: 3 for 3

Switch!!!

4. Ang Lee's Taking Woodstock is going to be a great movie recounting the making of the historic music festival.

Jason Chamberlain: Fiction. Meh. I haven't really been interested in what Ang Lee's been doing for quite a while now. Will it be great? I guess it's possible, but despite being a music lover, Woodstock isn't a topic I am extremely passionate about (nor are the 60's/70's come to think of it) and so I'm not all that interested in this one.

Will Helm: Fiction. To say Ang Lee has a strange resume is an understatement. From Sense and Sensibility to The Ice Storm to Wo hu cang long to Hulk, Lee has never rested on his laurels and stuck with one particular genre. Strangely, Taking Woodstock whether by design or bad marketing, seems like another foray for Lee into a different genre: wacky comedy. Unfortunately, I don't think this is a genre he'll be able to master, as great a director he is. Taking Woodstock seems odd and strange and devoid of entertainment value, but hopefully it'll at least have a great soundtrack.

Score: 4 for 4

5. Robert Zemeckis should back away from the idea of doing a motion-capture Yellow Submarine remake.

Jason Chamberlain: Fact. Okay, I'm going to level with you right now. I'm not a big Beatles fan. And of the Beatles tunes I do like, none of them appear on Yellow Submarine (with the exception of All You Need Is Love). Aside from fond memories of staring at the album cover when I was a kid (hey, it was colorful) I don't care all that much about the album or the movie spun off from it. That said, while some films and concepts are ripe for remake at certain points, I don't think is one of them. Maybe if all the Beatles were alive to voice themselves this time, then it'd be cool. Sadly that's not the case, and so I don't see the point of this one.

Will Helm: Fact. Whose idea was this? If so, they should be told to forget it and go back to the drawing board. Though it'd be nice to have Robert Zemeckis make another movie -- but a live-action one, for once -- and I'm sure the novelty of seeing the Beatles in motion-capture would be huge, this sounds like a horrible concept that doesn't need to be done. There is no way it can match the original, if only because this is a different time and place. the Beatles were on the cutting edge of pop culture in the late '60s; now it would just play like a nostalgia act. Well, at least it'll have a great soundtrack.

Score: 5 for 5

6. The Final Destination will be the best installment of the franchise.

Jason Chamberlain: Fact. Sure, I guess. Whatever. Maybe the 3D gimmick will mesh nicely with this one. Me, I'm not into horror movies and haven't seen any of these flicks, so I really don't know. I'm sure it'll do some quality bank though, as people (mostly teenagers, it seems) love to scream their heads off at the theatre, and as I said, the 3D gimmick this one boasts kinda lends itself to that.

Will Helm: Fiction. I'll admit that I've never seen any of the Final Destination movies, but I get the general idea. That being said, other than the novelty of The Final Destination being in 3-D, the best of most series would have to be the first and I'll say that Final Destination is the best of this particular series. Why? Originality. While all subsequent sequels are derivative of the first, the original will always remain the film that sets the tone and usually requires the most quality to sell the overall concept. It's usually never better than the first film -- other than maybe the Friday the 13th series, so I can't imagine The Final Destination topping it's original predecessor.

Final Score: 5 for 6

Bonus Non Fact or Fiction Question: What TV show do you hate that everyone else loves?

Jason Chamberlain: Oh man, where do I begin? Pick any reality TV show out of a hat, just to get us started off. Seriously, any one. Biggest Loser? Get off my TV. Survivor? Jeff Probst should be castrated. The Apprentice? All that money and he still can't find a good hair piece. The Bachelor/ette? Oh yeah, they're seriously looking for love on national TV folks. Totally genuine. Dancing With The Stars? The name itself is a punch line. But in the unscripted realm, no show makes my skin crawl like American Idol. Good God, I don't understand what people see in that show. Every year a gaggle of people looking for their 15 minutes/a quick buck are herded onto our TV screens. Most of them have no talent, and their awful singing is laughed at around the world (see Hung, William) and shredded to pieces by the panel of 'esteemed' judges. The ones that do have some talent (or at least a marketable, focus tested look) are shoved out on a stage to belt out bad covers for weeks on end while Simon Cowell acts like a douche, Paula Abdul sends transmissions from her home planet and the other guy... well, he seems like a good enough guy. We're cool. Finally somebody wins, gets a record deal and a career that usually never materializes (Kelly Clarkson aside). And millions of people watch every year, dooming great scripted shows to anemic ratings. And Simon makes $40 million a season for this shit? Man, fuck American Idol.

Will Helm: Though I don't get the obsession with American Idol -- and I'm glad to say I've never seen one episode -- and I actually enjoy Dancing with the Stars, the show that seems to garner ratings that I hate, especially on a conceptual level, is The Biggest Loser. First, the title is horribly insulting, as if saying to the contestants "Even though you're thinner, you still suck." In addition, it's terribly exploitative of America's lambasted "obesity epidemic"; I don't see the entertainment value in watching the morbidly obese exerting themselves for the audience's amusement. Most significantly, the general premise and mechanics of the show annoy me, as the contestants are herded to a ranch or campus for the game; if the producers really wanted to show the way things are, the contestants would have to stay home and go about their daily lives while still competing. It's generally easy to lose weight and find time for exercise when there's no work, no stress, no eating on the run, etc. If a contestant can't lose weight on the show now, there's something wrong; if they lose weight in my version, that'd be a challenge and quite impressive.

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And there you go. Jason and Will are in almost complete agreement about a great many things. Thanks to the both of them for taking the time to take part.

Check back next week for more enthralling Fact or Fiction action!
-BP

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