Ghost Hunters Recap Episode 5.12: Essex County Penitentiary

Posted by Ron Martin on 09.10.2009

On this episode of Ghost Hunters, TAPS is joined by Destination Truth's Josh Gates. To no one's surprise Steve craps himself over an animal, Evil Kris makes an appearance and they hear footsteps.

First off, heads up – there will be no recap next week as I will be just outside of Nashville, TN on my way to Orlando to do some ghost hunting….in the Haunted Mansion. I hear it's easy pickings in there.

Secondly, and this is admittedly a little bit on the nitpicking side, but I watched an old episode of Ghost Hunters from Season Two. It was the Lizzie Borden episode. I'm going to visit the Lizzie Borden bed and breakfast on my Salem trip in a few weeks and I wanted to see some the claims, plus this is one episode I had never seen before. I was glad I did. Check this out…around the 5:50 mark.



For those of you who don't want to bother with a youtube clip, they don't find anything. Steve then declares any place with a gift shop can not be haunted to which Grant enthusiastically agrees. I'd be willing to bet my 401K that there's a gift shop in the Spalding Inn, yet Jason and Grant declared it haunted and even had the GHI crew come in and do the same. Just saying.

I will, however, denote that the prices for an Inn in the mountains of New Hampshire…not too bad.



This week on Ghost Hunters
We get a Destination Truth crossover – it couldn't be because Destination Truth starts new episodes tonight after about eight months, can it? Hmm…TAPS returns to Essex County where I had guessed the Halloween episode would take place. They have Josh Gates with them. Ladies and gentlemen, this is basically your Halloween episode. Steve and Tango spot "death from above." Translated: Steve and Tango see bats. Since we have a visitor maybe someone other than Jason and Grant will see something this week.

Case #1: Essex County Penitentiary, North Caldwell, New Jersey

The Investigation
They're doing the prison today. Apparently, they did the hospital before. Steve tells us that the footing is loose in there. Thanks Steve. You can be silent until the next episode now. Somehow I don't feel like I'll be that lucky. Britt is here as well as Jason and Grant's "close friend" Josh Gates. Has Jason and Grant ever introduce someone that wasn't their "close friend?" The girls seem pretty happy about this. Kris talks about never having investigated with Josh before. The GHI crew has. Neener, neener, neener. Josh has not changed clothes since the Halloween special last year.

Josh tells us that they use a lot of the same techniques on Destination Truth that Jason and Grant do. He's right. Jason and Grant also stay somewhere just long enough to get interesting evidence before deciding to leave instead of actually investigate. I want to love DT, but it's just so frustrating.

The pecking order has been established. There will be no rookie hazing for Josh – he gets to move to the front of the class immediately. Robert is our guide. Deaths, suicides, hangings….the usual. They have reports of shadow figures. I think maybe they are seeing the guys who painted all the graffiti. Steve tries to show off by talking. I think he is angling for a guest shot on DT. Don't fall for it, Josh. I eagerly anticipate the day Steve follows in his heroes footsteps and puts out a book – FOR ME TO POOP ON! I know, it's not mine, but I'll take it. There are tunnels – aren't there always? Lots of footsteps. This is a good thing as that's a specialty of Jason and Grant. They will break out the K-II faster than you can say "EVP."

Josh is terrified. He has faced off with sasquatch, mythical beasts and flown in planes that have no business flying and an empty prison scares the pee out of him. I heard a rumor that Jason and Grant appear on DT tonight, which doesn't make me too sad that I forgot to record it.

Alpha Team is in the main building with Josh because when you have eight team members, it makes so much sense to split into a team of three. Josh brings the funny by trying to get the ghost to push Grant. He fits right in as he sees a ghost immediately. Score a commercial break for Josh.

COMMERCIALS.

There is a big ‘K' painted over the doorway of the hallway Josh is looking down. Probably to denote that this is the hallway Josh is supposed to see someone in. They actually decide to investigate since Josh is here and all. Of course they get nothing. Grant holds onto the K-II like its an extension of his manhood. He holds it more gently than he would hold his kids. Josh now sees something on the thermal, which he explains he knows what he is talking about because he uses the thermal all the time. This is true.

Kris is by herself because Jason and Grant just HAD to have Josh on their team, leaving Kris the odd ghost hunter out. She is wearing the headcam because Jason and Grant were worried that she was more attractive than they were. Grant tries to justify why sending someone alone with the headcam down a hallway is ideal – even though they've never done it in a hallway before. I guess Britt lucked out. He must have given Jason some money. One of Grant's reasons for sending Kris alone is that it's constrictive in the tunnels and lends itself towards a single person. I guess we're not taking into account the cameraman that's filming Kris? Kris calls upon the powers of Alpha Team and starts asking for knocks. The worst part of the headcam is that she has to wear a fanny pack. She realizes this and starts cussing. Oh, she's cussing because she thinks something is walking towards her. She is getting the knocks she asked for. She does say that some of the sounds were water dripping.

Clown Team is in the warden's house. I'm betting this is where they see the bats. They start in the attic….sounds. To their credit they think it could be a bat. Something happens and they take off, dropping equipment behind them. That's good enough for…

COMMERCIALS. They run a commercial for "Horror Nights" at Universal on Halloween night. No Live Ghost Hunt commercial which pretty much guarantees it ain't happening.

We get a repeat of Clown Team running like hillbillies from a bathtub and then admitting they didn't even see anything. They just got spooked. At least Tango admits it. Steve says an animal lunged at him. Steve talks…I phase him out.

Really Alpha Team is in the West Wing. There's a joke in there someone. They hear a faucet running and say there can't be water running because there is no water in the building. According to the thermal, there is heat coming out of a doorway. Jason see something moving down a hall past a door. Grant also saw something. Are we surprised by this?

Team California are in the Guard's locker room. I don't know who this Phantom guy is, but I think he must live in the building. He's got about every room tagged. Britt heard something in the room, but there's nothing there. Amy thinks it might be an animal. They start asking for knocks. There must have been a pow wow before the investigation to get the most knocks in an investigation in history. They say they are hearing knocks, but I don't hear any knocks even with the music not playing. They keep asking for knocks. Britt is skeptical about the knocks.

Clown Team and Josh are back in the main building so Josh can show them where he saw the person early. Josh obviously doesn't watch the show if he thinks Clown Team is going to actually investigate. And as I suspected, Tango finds a cup that is conveniently just laying around so he run it against the bars. Steve tries to act like he knows how to ghost hunt by talking about a high EMF reading. Is this going to be one of the shows where they have no evidence but declare it haunted on their gut feeling? Steve is really hung up on the EMF thing. They move to the Fourth Floor. There is some sort of noise on the other side of a fence which feeds Josh his line so we can get to….

COMMERCIALS.

It almost sounds like a dog barking in the distance. Steve says that they start hearing all sorts of things at once. Maybe it's that black dude who was walking randomly around Fort Delaware last Halloween? Then they say it sound mechanical which is impossible because there is no power in the building, but they are somehow all using mechanical equipment and being filmed with more mechanical equipment. Now they hear footsteps. Josh is leading the way and it's funny because Clown Team is bunched up behind him. Steve actually tells the ghosts to stop making the noises, which seems counterproductive because they spent the entirety of every episode trying to get ghosts to make noises. Now ghosts are making noises and they have no clue what to do. Is it possible that this is the worst ghost hunting team in the country? No, they're not. Bottom 50 – maybe. Steve says that he can't call it paranormal because he can't see what's making the sounds. Isn't that kind of what paranormal is?

Team California are in the Warden's House. Man, this place has some major paint peeling. Amy says she likes that Britt brings new equipment because she hates the K-II. Okay, I paraphrased, but I think that's probably what she meant. They start up an EVP session which gets them a flash of light from outside the window.

COMMERCIALS.

Team California tries to debunk by sending Amy outside with a flashlight to see if recreates the light. Britt says it's not the same but close enough to not count it as paranormal. They call it a night.

Josh makes it a point to denote that he wanted the chance to investigate with Kris. I'm sure it's because of her ghost hunting abilities, right buddy? Ever the gentleman, Josh invites Kris into the dark, spooky, haunted Warden's house first. Josh it's dark, you can't check out the booty without being noticed. Kris has come a long way from the dorky headcam. Josh wants to sit on the floor with Kris and do an EVP session – which he never did with the guys. Just an observation. Kris goes into "brat" mode and Josh earns me watching DT at least once this round by calling her out on it. It's funny that Josh tells the camera that Kris really puts her personality into the EVP session. Then they cut to her acting like a bitch. If she talked to me that way, I'd head out the door. Josh tries to reason with the ghost by telling the ghost that this is the only shot the ghost has to talk – ever! He starts cussing because that's what Kris brings out in him.

Josh says he had a good time while we get an unusual number of shot of just Kris wrapping up.

The Analysis
Steve says he is excited about doing the evidence because…he really doesn't review the evidence, folks. Steve sees the thermal hit that Josh saw early on. It looks like someone walking behind a machine or something. Steve notices that Team California hears loud sounds, then has Tango hear a sound that we're not cool enough to listen to.


The Reveal

Hmmm. I really thought we would get Josh at the reveal, but it's just the normal two. Grant says Kris heard footsteps in the tunnel, but has no evidence to back it up. They also talk about them all seeing shadows, but have no evidence to back it up. Josh saw a figure, but they have no evidence to back it up. Are you seeing a pattern here? Wow, they're actually using Steve telling the ghosts to shut up as part of their evidence. They didn't even play the noises back on tape. I'd like to use the word ridonkulous here. I don't even know what that word means, but I am pretty sure it applies. They play the bangs that Team California heard a couple of times. The big payoff sound is just a clicking sound. They say that no one was in the area all night, the recorder was just there all night. The camera apparently caught nothing.

Status: Not Haunted, but they want to investigate it some more.

Cartalk. I've noticed when they're in the car for cartalk, they're both wearing jackets that are zipped up or that are only showing black. I wonder how many of these cars scenes they record at once. They both name drop Josh.

Assumed fistbump.

Overall:
I have to admit that I am really surprised they didn't call this place haunted. With Josh on the scene and them about to do a crossover into DT, I didn't think there was anyway this wasn't going to be haunted. I was ready to rip them a new one for calling it haunted based on circumstantial evidence and experiences, but they didn't so good for them. Josh's personality certainly helped mix things up from the norm a bit. It's always nice to see them get away from their non-negotiable teams. I could do without bratty Kris. It doesn't seem natural for her and it really doesn't come off well on TV. I don't know that attempting to provoke should be your style of EVP as opposed to something you can fall back on if necessary. I did like Josh's explaining to the ghost that this is their only time to talk – even if he was emulating Kris's bratty nature when he was doing it. By the way, Amy is a MUCH better investigator with Britt than she is with Kris. For those of you who always defend Steve – I'm sorry for you.

Remember, no recap next week.

Fin.