Deleted Scenes 09.24.09: Attractions That Are Coming
Posted by Robert Sullivan on 09.24.2009
It's been a while since we enveloped ourselves in the simple pleasures of trailers, so let's do that today. Come on in.
Hey, everybody. I'm Rob, this is Deleted Scenes, and welcome to another edition thereof. Today's topic is one of my favorites, as you may or may not have noticed over my myriad months here at 411 - the trailer. Those I enjoy, and those not so much. But before we can get to the fun and frivolity, first we gotta do just a little bit of business.
And after you read all that content, go ahead and make 411Mania YOUR official homepage. You're good people, I know you will.
The Column
Before we get into the trailers, on a serious note, thanks for all the comments, compliments, criticisms, and candy. You readers get me keeping on.
That and the obligation. Kidding, kidding.
Now that the love spreading's out of the way, it's time to examine what you'll be seeing (or may already be seeing, depending on your movie selections at local theaters) prior to movies very soon. Some have united the Internet in exuberance, some in apathy, and still others in direct abject hatred.
What will we start with, let's see...
Yeah, let's go with what's inspired the rampant gasoline-fueled hate.
Adapted from a sadly bestselling novel about the allegedly true stories of a regrettably all true douchebag, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell is one ridiculously unfunny film, if this awful trailer is in fact an accurate representation of the film. Yes, that was a very long and wordy sentence, but I felt it necessary to my wonderment that a trailer advertising a movie that's supposed to be solidly in the comedy genre was in fact that bad. How such a thing is possible I have no idea, unless raging feminists had hijacked the cutter's office that afternoon. While I find Tucker Max a massive doucher personally, that's no reason why I couldn't find myself laughing at some moronic misadventure here. What I get is what the tragically overlooked early 2009 release Observe and Report was for some people - I thought that this would be funny, and it turns out to be actually quite sad. Alas.
Count me squarely in Michael Moore's wheelhouse politically, and a fan of his work personally. This is obviously due to the fact that I know that no documentary ever released is a hundred percent objective, and neither is the word "documentary" supposed to define alleged neutrality, whereas so many people clearly do not. Capitalism: A Love Story might be his last work in this genre, going by what the man says, but I certainly hope that proves not to be the case. His style is still necessary even in an Obama administration, as no occupant of the White House is ever perfect. Judging by advance reviews of this film, Moore also gets that and apparently goes after Democrats just as hard (if not more) as Republicans. Good for him, I say, and keep up the fight.
Stars: No one you've ever heard of
Release Date: September 25, 2009
Finally receiving a very limited release after two years in limbo, Paranormal Activity is supposed to be the scariest mindfuck of a movie you'll ever see in your life. Well, that's the hype on the movie, as it's slowly gained steam as "the freaky movie that studios won't touch while they release 800 Saw sequels." On the one hand, fuck the disrespect for the Saw franchise, but as I've gone into much greater detail elsewhere, I'll let it go. On the other, judging by the trailer...they might actually have something here. Paranormal Activity seems like a very good, brilliantly simple idea done for $7.50 that might actually live up to what it promised, so I'll tell you to go seek it out wherever you may find it. Hopefully we don't have another The Midnight Meat Train-sized disappointment on our hands.
Stars: George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick
And here we have the Trailer of the Year. Absolutely perfect in every way and everything a trailer should always be, Up in the Air just launched itself to most anticipated of the year remaining with this one masterwork. George Clooney's getting rave reviews for his acting here, Jason Reitman looks to go 2 for 3 on his directorial batting average, and I'm very interested in seeing what Anna Kendrick does in this one, after being very impressed with her in both Rocket Science and Camp...the latter of which as the only highlight in a very, very bad film.
I'd be shocked if there aren't Camp drinking games and MST3K-style screenings a la The Wicker Man and The Room. It's THAT bad. Go get the DVD for a dollar and thank me later for the unintentional hilarity.
Before wrapping up here, I'd like to give another thank you to the readers and America as a whole. Jennifer's Body was released this past weekend, I reluctantly checked it out due to my own morbid curiosity in finding out whether Diablo Cody had any talent whatsoever, and I can say wholeheartedly -
Thank you, America, for coming through and staying the fuck home.
Massive media creations Megan Fox and Diablo Cody's careers take a hit, glaringly awful dialogue takes a hit, Hell...if only the bombing of Jennifer's Body could retroactively lower the box office totals of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, then America could've solved a lot of Hollywood's problems in one fell swoop. Good job, everybody!
