Ghost Hunters Recap Episode 5.13: Little Drummer Boy

Posted by Ron Martin on 09.24.2009

This week TAPS defies all and goes into a church without exploding into flames. Can they find the little drummer boy three months before he's relevant?

I'm baaaaackkk…..

Did you miss me?

Ah, I am refreshed and ready to go….okay that's a lie. I have to admit that in my week off and doing more and more research on this show I become more disenfranchised with it every week.

It's obvious at this point that the Halloween show is not going to happen. We're a week out of October and there hasn't been a single advertisement for it. TAPS has been all over Destination Truth virtually ruining that show for me as well (a show I use to watch all the way through I can now FF through in about 8 minutes). I'm guessing this is their version of cross promotion this year since they won't have the seven hour commercial that was the Halloween special. After last year's debacle, I can understand why everyone is shy to pull the trigger this year. Amazingly enough, this show still gets decent ratings for Syfy, so it isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Good enough to get past the ad? We'll see.



This week on Ghost Hunters
TAPS goes to New York to deal with a ghost in a church. Will they burst into flames upon stepping on consecrated ground? I think special effects took the flames out. A lot of other stuff that looks like it might be spooky here, but will inevitably be nothing.

Case #1: Church of St. Andrew, Staten Island, New York

Jason is honored that a church would have enough respect to call them in. I am sure the national TV exposure has nothing to do with it. Grant gets the first joke in about the Holy Ghost. Kris (at least in the car) has the mousy look that I prefer going today. Steve says he has never investigated a church because churches make you learn things and we all know where Steve stands on learning things. Tango and Steve try to get through a prayer, and fails to entertain anyone. The team gets excited over a graveyard. Good thing TAPS has a standing policy that they don't investigate graveyards, so says Jason.

The Investigation
Father Michael is our tour guide and immediately talks about TAPS appearance as a "great opportunity." Father goes into the history of the church – it's old. There are lots of lots of shots of the graveyard. Almost too many shots. It's like the cameraman has wanted to film a graveyard his entire life. A local historian says that when the church expanded, they didn't move graves and basically built the church right on top of these guys. The chimes in the front of the church sometimes ring on their own. Steve looks like he could care less. People see shadows from outside the church in the windows, which is incredibly convenient to get shots of TAPS in the graveyard, don't you think? For future reference, the catacombs are the foundation of the original church and a picture taken there shows a ghostly noose that supposedly never existed. As an aside before I watch the rest of this episode, when GHI is presented with a picture, they try to debunk said picture. Let's see what TAPS does. A little drummer boy walks through the graveyard.

Random setting up shots. They are actually making Kris wear TAPS gear. Grant says they are not going to treat this place any differently just because it's a church. It's good to know that the K-II will be prominent, Steve will run from everything and whenever you hear a ghost you will make it tap hundreds of times before leaving the room entirely – church or no.

LIGHTS OUT!

Alpha Team is in the chapel. They want to debunk the chime and candle situation. Jason blows on the candle and declares the case closed. A breeze caused the chimes to go off and the candle to blow higher. They see something in the back and that's perfect for…

COMMERCIALS.

Ha! They literally have a confessional segment with Jason where he says less than one sentence. They started their investigation in the Chapel….time stamp says they're six hours into the investigation. Jason saw something in the window and they can't explain it.

Chick Team ("Chick" instead of Chic – thanks to a reader) are in the catacombs and lucky for them there just so happens to be an animal skeleton just hanging out in the opening. Kris now says that the dead bodies were moved to some other part of the catacombs and might be British soldiers. If they are soldiers, she says she wants to provoke and gives a sly smile because I think she believes she is good at provoking. Maybe she thinks that because she does it (well, what she considers it) a lot If you take a math class five times, it doesn't mean you're good at it, kid. Also, how is she going to be able to tell whether or not the bodies are British soldiers? This prompts Grant to tell us what provocation is. Kris just assumes these are British soldiers and tries to provoke anyways. Amy asks if they are injured. They're dead, Amy. They hear shuffling and Amy says the only decent thing a real ghost hunter would say as an aside at the very end. Kris says they have done everything they could down here (except actually, you know, ghost hunt).

Clown Team is in the Storage Room where the black shadows are seen through the windows. Steve goes outside to see what Tango looks like on the inside. Amazingly, it looks like someone walking by a window. Steve says it looks like a black shadow going by the window, when it actually looks nothing like that at all. Steve declares that this must be what is going on and this is not paranormal, though the Father stated no one was in the building when people see these shadows. I don't expect Steve to pay attention for the whole five minutes, though.

Chick Team is in the Chapel and wants to find out how to become part of the congregation. There are shuffling sounds that they debate whether or not they are settling sounds. They ask for more noise and get it. Kris is not happy with that because it would be inconvenient to walk to the front of the church so she tells the ghost to get closer to her. The ghost obliges. This would still require Kris to go halfway to the front to do you know, actual ghost hunting and Heaven forbid that she do that so she wants the ghost to get even closer. The ghost obliges again.

COMMERCIAL.

Instead of investigating, Kris and Amy decide to recap what just happened. Amy says there is a lot of stuff running in the Chapel so they probably caught something. If that's the case, then why investigate at all? Just leave the equipment and go home. If you're just going to stand in one spot and do nothing – why are you there? Since they had really good leads on paranormal activity, they decide to leave.

Clown Team is in the cemetery which TAPS never investigates. They hear something in the distance that Steve declares the drummer boy. Tango and Steve try to have a religious discussion on the implications of life after death. This goes about as well as you can imagine any conversation of this type that includes Steve would go. They decide that playing their own drums (read: hitting sticks on a tree trunk) will bring out the drummer boy. Seeing as the production crew has decided to dub in actual drum sounds and Tango has decided to move his head back and forth like a rooster instead of listening for the real drummer boy, my guess is we'll get no action from said drummer boy. Steve decides to quit when Tango tells him he's just waking up all the spiders.

WRAP UP.

The Analysis
Steve hopes to find stuff. Gee, that was a helpful segment. Much to my surprise, they check out the original noose picture. Steve actually uses some logic to prove it's probably not a noose, but something else that kind of looks like a noose. Good enough. Color me pleasantly surprised. That's all the analysis you get because TAPS hates you.

The Reveal
They tell of the black shadow Jason saw. Despite all the equipment Amy says they had set up, they got nothing on tape. All of Chick Team's evidence? Nothing on any of the equipment. They tell him how they debunked the chimes and Clown Team's supposed debunking of the figure in the window. Research from Kris shows that there was a drummer boy shot and buried on the property. The Father loves this. He loves everything.



Status: They experienced things but don't have the evidence to back it up. Seems like we've heard that one before.

Cartalk. Jason is impressed with Father Michael's attitude. Grant is excited that Father Michael is excited.

Fistbump.

Case #2: The Benton House, Chicago, Illinois

The Investigation
Uh-oh. Jason is going to be pissed. There is no way he is sleeping in his own bed tonight. This place is a community center. Kris looks really nervous – maybe this is in a bad neighborhood? Angela is our tour guide. A lot of town meetings were held in this building. The door to the library slams on its own. They blame this on Ma Benton. Angela invites the guys to her bedroom….no, really. There are a lot of things in her room covered up with blankets and stuff…what is Angela hiding? A ghost likes to call people "gaylords" in the art room. This is a loooonnnng tour. They switch to the team outside and Kris is still trying to look everywhere at once.

LIGHTS OUT!

Jason is totally wearing a Spalding Inn sweatshirt. I am sure there will be some sort of uproar over this, but is it really any different than everyone on the show wearing TAPS gear all the time? Free advertising is free advertising. Alpha Team is on the third floor and they see something immediately described as really small and dark.

COMMERCIALS.

After the five minutes of recaps, they go to Angela's room and immediately hear someone walking. They figure out the acoustics make it sound like someone is walking in the room. They claim to have debunked this.

Clown Team is in the auditorium where tables have been slammed around before. Steve does an EMF sweep and finds the entire room has very high EMFs. Steve baits me by saying if there's something in the room, it's not intelligent. Too easy. They are sitting in the middle of the room, seemingly in the middle of a game of spin the bottle with one of the cameramen. They try knocking on the floor and when that doesn't work, they leave. I can't believe that wouldn't work!

Alpha Team is in the living room where a starter log just went out in the fireplace. Grant says starter logs are notorious for not staying lit so as a speriment, they get a starter log, light it and put in the fireplace. I got a twenty that says it goes out. Jason deploys the "Hey, anybody die in this room?!!!" strategy. To my surprise, they get no answer. I thought that would work for sure. They break out the infamous K-II and it goes off like crazy on the floor. They call it EMFs, but that can't possibly be right because every other time when the little red light goes off that means it's a ghost talking. Come on guys, this is how you've trained me, your audience, to believe, right?

Chick Team is in the art room. Kris claims to be an art dork. They go into an EVP session. They are not feeling creeped out and rely again on the audio. Nothing is ever on the audio!

Alpha Team is at the library door that closes itself. They're probably going to debunk it. This is the second investigation afterall. They ask Ma Benton to close the door….and it closes.

COMMERCIALS.

Uhmm…..they don't actually do anything except for say that if there were a breeze the door would probably shut. However, the window is currently closed and the door is shutting on its own. They fail to explain why this is.

JASON: I don't think the door closing is Ma Benton; I just think the door is closing on its own.

Uhm, doors don't just close on their own dude. You have to attribute it to something. This is either terrible ghost hunting or terrible editing. I will blame both.

WRAP UP.

GRANT: Blah, blah, blah, I am talking but not saying anything.

The Reveal
No analysis. This is not good for Angela. If she had known she was going to be the second investigation, you think she would have let them investigate? They go through all the things they have debunked. I was wrong about the starter log, however. They blame all the uncomfortable situations to the high EMF readings. They say the door is very touchy. Jason says he is saying that he is not saying that is what is happening….although he just looked right into the camera and did.

Status: Not Haunted.

Cartalk. Good investigation, very positive…blah, blah, blah.

Assumed Fistbump.


Overall:
Remember two weeks ago when I said at least they weren't the worst ghost hunting team ever? I think I was wrong.

Reality here is the fact that these guys are no longer in it to find life after death, proof or paranormal or even for the rush of communicating with the dead. They're in it for the money. The show is almost a nuisance to them at this point. I don't blame them. I've never had that kind of money thrown at me, so I couldn't say what I would do in their shoes. As for actual ghost hunting…not really so much on this show, right?

I have noticed in the last couple of episodes how much Kris and Tango have regressed. Kris was never a ghost hunter to begin with, but for awhile there she was picking up on some stuff, now she is a one trick pony and her one trick really isn't that great. Tango – he doesn't even ghost hunt anymore.

Oy.

Fin.