Ask 411 Movies for 09.28.09: The Column That Gets the Fickle Finger of Fate Award!

Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 09.28.2009

Freddy Got Fingered, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Rebel Highway and a possessed Sally Field


From YouTube this week, in honor of Henry Gibson and new fervor over the Beatles thanks to their version of Rock Band being out and re-mastered albums, we have a montage of clips of Ringo Starr on "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In."



House of the Wolfman, a new film done in the old Universal monster style of the forties, will have it's Midwest debut Oct. 24 in Ligonier, Pa. It's sponsored by Creepy Classics and I'll be helping out that weekend. An open house follows the movie.



Q: So I've been watching Night Gallery on the MyRetroTV Network that popped up on my cable system a few months ago and am becoming a fan of the show.

But there has been one tale told on the show that whose ending makes no sense to me, and I've seen it multiple times. It's called "Whisper" and stars Dean Stockton and Sally Field as a woman with multiple personalities. Can you explain the ending to me? Why isn't she able to get back into her body what is that black thing she's holding?

You can probably find the episode on Hulu as the show is on there.
-JLAJRC

A: It's Dean Stockwell as Charlie the husband to Sally Field's Irene. Irene seems susceptible to possession by spirits. As Charlie explains it, it's almost like she's an inn with an empty room and someone moves in for awhile, gets what they need and leaves. However, something about this time feels much worse to him. Charlie and Irene leave San Francisco to take up residence in an old southern mansion. Irene seems to be channeling the spirit of an old southern belle. She wants them to find a summerhouse, which they can't. Irene then decides to leave, but the spirit really ‘moves in' on her.

As near as I can figure, Rachel and Johnny had a child, possibly illegitimate, that was stillborn or died young. The remains of the baby are wrapped in the black cloth. In order for her spirit to rest the baby has to be given a more proper burial. I think the rock wall Charlie, perceived to be Johnny, puts the baby in is the remnants of the summerhouse. As to why she can't get back into her body, it could be because the incident was so taxing this time or it might be because she was teasing the spirits in the graveyard saying she's the one in charge and them showing her up. The episode was really weird and I don't feel anything is explained or inferred too well. However, I like the basic premise for its own series. A woman gets possessed by a different ghost each week and it's up to her detective husband to solve the mystery and give the spirit peace.

Q: Hello Leonard,

I never caught any of the Showtime Rebel Highway remakes as I live in the UK but remember seeing them for sale on video. Were they any good? Did the series succeed in whatever its aim was? Some of the directors and cast were pretty interesting. Got any thoughts?
Cheers
-Alec

A: I don't get Showtime and never watched the series. I was hoping I could find it to watch, but I couldn't find it on the internet anywhere for viewing, nor has it been released on DVD. The series ran for ten episodes and was a revival of sorts for American International Pictures. Lou Arkoff, son of producer Samuel Arkoff, and writer/producer Debra Hill took the AIP catalogue and allowed directors to pick one of their titles to make an episode out of. It could be a remake of the original or something completely different. Budgets were set at $1.3 million and the shooting schedule was 12 days. Most of the casts were up and coming actors including Alyssa Milano, Renee Zellwegger, Paul Rudd, David Arquette, Selma Hayek, Jake Busy, Jared Lito and Alicia Silverstone to name a few.

Q: The Worst movie ever is "Horrors of War," hands down. It has Nazis, zombies, werewolves, and manages to screw it u. Don't believe what Kevin Smith says on the box. The movie is trash.
-Rant Casey

A: From what I've read, 2006's Horrors of War was designed to be like a grindhouse movie, but with a more serious tone and better production values. As the allies draw closer in the waning days of World War II, Adolph Hitler unleashes his top secret weapons, which I'm guessing are the zombies, werewolves and such you mention. A group of allied soldiers are charged with taking out these weapons.



Q: "Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever" is hands-down the worst Hollywood movie I've ever seen. Absolute garbage in every way. Not even Lucy Liu's fine self could save that abomination.
-j3ffro420

A: From 2002, Jeremiah Ecks (Antonio Banderas) is an FBI agent sent after rogue NISA agent Sever (Lucy Liu). While fighting each other they learn of a bigger threat and unite to take out a villain who is developing a micro-device that he can inject into people and use to kill them. Sever was originally to be a man and previously booked star duos were Wesely Snipes and Jet Li and Vin Diesel and Sylvester Stallone.



Q: Worst movie I've ever sat through from start to finish was Freddy Got Fingered. I wanted to finger my brain stem after that shit.

This of course doesn't include to godawful Manos: The Hands of Fate which was made infinitely redeemable thanks to MST3K.
-neverAcquiesce

A: See, I always say that if you see something on "Mystery Theater Science Theater 3000" it doesn't count. You have to watch it straight to really say you saw it and experienced how bad it is. Thanks to its exposure on MST3K Manos: The Hands of Fate has gone through an amazing revival and has passed Plan 9 From Outer Space as the default worst movie of all time.

From 1966, a married couple and their daughter get lost in the desert and come upon a shack ran by Torgo for his master, who worships the evil deity Manos. Quentin Tarantino is said to own one of the few 35mm prints of the movie left in existence and he calls it his favorite all time comedy. The little girl in the movie got a bicycle and the Doberman got a bag of dog food. Nobody else received anything, because everyone was to be paid out of the film's profits, of which there weren't any. That's considering the movie was shot for about $19,000 over the course of two and half months. The movie was shot on a handheld camera that could only hold 32 seconds of film at a time. Sounds and dialogue had to be recorded afterwards.



Freddy Got Fingered from 2001, stars Tom Green as an aspiring animator who moves back in with his parents. His father, Rip Torn, has always been mean to him and Green's Gord spreads rumors that his dad sexually molests his brother Freddy (Eddie Kay Thomas). Meanwhile, Gord falls in love with a paraplegic woman (Marisa Coughlan) and engages in all kind of heinous, gross stuff. The movie won five Razzies including worst picture, worst actor and director for Green, worst screenplay for Green and Derek Harvie and worst screen couple for Green and any animal he abuses on screen. Green is one of the few people in Razzies history to show up at the ceremony to accept his awards.



Q: What tv shows do you think are underrated? In my opinion Married...With Children is the one show that has had the most influence on modern tv. Yet it never really got it's due. I couldn't imagine Family Guy, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, or even Seinfeld without the Bundy's having been on the air. What is your favorite show that you consider underrated?
-Spaghett

A: I think "Married…With Children" got popular and recognized about halfway through their run, then Fox began turning their attention elsewhere and the series began to slide in the ratings and quality wise. The series was a send up and parody of not only the nuclear family, but the nuclear family's portrayal on television.

I was a big fan of "The John Larroquette Show" in the first season and thought it was just too smart and dark for NBC at the time. They tried to lighten up in the second season and slid from there, but the first season is just gold.



I'm a huge "St. Elsewhere" fan and while it was critically acclaimed at the time I think people today remember it for the screwy series finale of the whole show taking place in the mind of an autistic boy. It was basically the "Hill Street Blues" version of a medical show. It was gritty, but at the same time could be very weird and very funny. "Scrubs" owes a bunch to it as does "ER," "Grey's Anatomy" and about every medical show after.



"Quantum Leap" is a huge favorite of mine too and never did more than ok with critics and ratings. NBC shuffled it around a lot, especially toward the end. I didn't like the final season at all with the evil leaper junk and too many celebrity tie-ins, but the writing until that was some of the best dramatic sci-fi anthology writing ever on TV, I'd put it over even the "Twilight Zone."



Q: Who in your opinion is the best stand-up comic in the world right now? I would say it's either Zack Galifinakis or Steven Wright both of whom have similar styles, yet are totally different. However if Mitch Hedberg were still alive I probably would have chosen him.
-Dr. Mickhead

A: I got into big trouble awhile back for saying I like Jeff Dunham. I'm also a big fan of Ron White. He's a good storyteller with a very specific style and persona that helps to get him over personally more than just his material. I can't say that I've exactly got my finger on the pulse of standup comedy right now. I like both Gallifinakis and Wright too. A buddy of mine loves Daniel Tosh, although "Tosh 2.0" feels like a real grasping at straws shark jump for him.

It's odd to think where Mitch Hedberg would be if he were still alive. If he were living that meant he would have cleaned up his act. I don't see him doing movies or a sitcom. Maybe one of those Comedy Central shows with stand-ups where they do some bits and intro sketches. Speaking of which, Dave Chappelle still might be my pick for funniest stand-up going.



Q: Craig Kilborn and Queens of the Stone Age frontman Josh Homme look EXACTLY alike. please do a search, you will get a good laugh!!

The difference between a BAD movie and a good bad movie is totally different. A good bad movie is something really bad (story, acting, directing) but is so bad you ejoy watching. (Beverly Hills Cop 3 is SOOOOO bad, but I watch it cause I cant believe how bad it actually is). A BAD movie is something I just cannot sit through...not even for a few minutes...my wife LOVES Sex In The City The Movie, and Icant stay in the room for more than 5 minutes before I wanna rip the hair out of my head. Nothing at all remotely enjoyable there. Another BAD movie is American Pie 3...it was basically The Stiffler Movie, and was the most annoying thing ever, and I can't stand watching it again.
-Mike

A: Yeah, I can see the resemblance in the face easy.





The basic difference between a good-bad movie and a bad-bad movie is just personal preference. There might be someone out there who can't bare to watch a minute of Beverly Cop III, but can sit through Sex and the City: The Movie while laughing their ass off the whole time.

Q: Mom and Dad Save the World.
Worst. Movie. Ever.
-Jesterftw



A: From 1992, Jeffrey Jones and Teri Garr play a fairly common Midwest couple who get captured by an alien emperor (Jon Lovitz) who has the hots for Garr and wants to make her his bride before he destroys the earth. I remember seeing it shortly after coming out to TV, but don't remember much of it. That's probably for the better, right?

Q: The worst movie I've ever seen is "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation." After watching this I can't believe Renee Zellwegger and Matthew McCaugnahey actually got careers after it.
-JLAHRC



A: From 1994, a group of teens, including Renee Zellwegger, get stranded in rural Texas on prom night after a car accident. They are eventually found terrorized by Leatherface (Robert Jacks) and his brother Vilmer (Matthew McConaughey) along with the rest of their crazy, cannibalistic family. Kim Henkel, who wrote the original film, is the writer and director here. He intended the movie to be the real sequel to the first film and targeted Vilmer to be the hitchhiker from the first movie and W.E. is supposed to be the cook. Jim Siedow was approached to reprise the part, but he refused. However, three actors from the first movie do pop up at the end here in John Dugan, Paul A. Partain and Marilyn Burns.

Q: The worst movie ever is actually "Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3D". Before I saw that movie I would've said "It's Pat".
-Pat

We've discussed It's Pat before and I do believe I pegged it as the worst of any movie based on a "Saturday Night Live" sketch.



Director Robert Rodriguez's then seven-year-old son, Racer, created the 2005 film and he gets a story credit. Maybe that's why it's so bad. According to imdb, the film was shot and edited so fast that advertisements weren't even done before the film itself was. That could be another reason it was bad. Max (Cayden Boyd) is a daydreamer who has created the superheroes of Sharkboy and Lavagirl along with the Planet Drool. Max is surprised when the pair show up and need his help in saving his supposedly fictional planet. The cast also features George Lopez, David Arquette and Kristin Davis.

I've got a couple questions to get to yet that require a little more research than usual, so stay tuned for next week.

Don't die.

"Have you seen the Magic Christian?"
"No, but I ran into a tricky Muslim last week."