The October Zombie-Thon 2009 - Day 6: Pot Zombies

Posted by Trevor Snyder on 10.06.2009

The best anti-marijuana PSA I've ever seen.

POT ZOMBIES (2005)




Directed by: Justin Powers
Written by: Joseph Amdahl, Chris Laster, Justin Powers, & Matt Powers
Country: USA


It never fails. Every year I do the Zombie-thon, I come across some film so unbelievably dreadful that I'm sure it must represent the bottom of the zombie genre barrel. But then, sure enough, I find one even more unbearable the next year.

Still, as godawful as movies like Zombiegeddon or Zombie Campout are, they rarely make me angry. Bored? Sure. Annoyed? Of course. Disheartened ? Goes without saying. But it's very rare for a crappy zombie to legitimately piss me off.

Pot Zombies accomplished it in about two and a half minutes.

That's the point in the movie in which the first characters start smoking the titular drug, and suddenly the film's soundtrack is blaring an aggravating siren, while onscreen text helpfully informs us that the movie does not condone drug use…in fact, the joint the actors are smoking isn't even real.

If this is just meant to be a joke, it's not very funny. But if they're serious, then what the hell is the point? I mean, look, I'm not a stoner, but I also have nothing against stoner comedy – and I don't think the majority of folks who would sit down to watch a movie called Pot Zombies do, either. So why chicken out and pretend not to advocate smoking? It's not like this movie was ever going to have a wide audience. And even if it did, plenty of "mainstream" stoner films like Dazed & Confused and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back have had the decency to stick to their convictions. If those movies can get away with it, I'm fairly certain a little film like Pot Zombies has nothing to worry about.

Anyway, that little scene is hardly the only problem with this thing. No, the worst thing about Pot Zombies is that it's too stupid to even see the obvious joke here. There actually is some comedic potential in the idea of lackadaisical stoners having to keep their wits long enough to battle the living dead – sort of a Harold and Kumar meet Night of the Living Dead. But Pot Zombies is too brain-dead to even think of that angle.

Instead, the movie daringly – or, actually, let's say "foolishly" – refuses to offer either a story or main characters. Its entire running length consists entirely of vignettes in which new characters are introduced, smoking chemically altered marijuana, and then turn into green-skinned zombies with glowing eyes. We watch them stumble around and attack someone, and then CUT – it's on to the next scene. Seriously, that's all this is. It's the same thing, over and over, just with different faces each time. Oh, wait, I almost forgot – there are also brief animated interludes featuring a talking joint, that as far as I can tell have nothing to do with what is going on. Yeah, there's that, too.

I suppose there might be someone out there who would argue that this sort of non-traditional structure is a bold approach…but that person is almost certainly high. And maybe that's just it – maybe I'm not in the right sort of altered mind-set to appreciate what the filmmakers are doing here. But I don't think so. In fact, I'm fairly confident that even someone enjoying the biggest high of all time would be bored to tears by this movie. There are plenty of outrageous and bizarre zombie movies out there that are probably only made more hilarious if watched under the influence. Films like Re-Animator and Dead Alive come to mind. Given that, why would anyone – stoners and zombie fans alike – choose to waste their time with something as boring as Pot Zombies?

The one moment where Pot Zombies comes closest to actually entertaining is when you catch a brief glimpse of Night of the Living Dead on a character's television set. Other than that, there is nothing to recommend here. It is so excruciating, in fact, that even moments that might have amused me in other movies fall flat here. For instance, I wanted to laugh at the rather inept sight of police flashers crudely animated onto a regular car, but by that point the movie had already drained all the life out of me. Same goes for Troma president Lloyd Kaufman's cameo as a retarded pizza delivery man. On plenty of occasions in the past, I have singled out a Kaufman cameo as the only good thing in an otherwise awful movie – this is the first time I just felt bad for the guy. And when you feel like the material is below even Lloyd Kaufman, you know there's a problem.

That it somehow took four writers to come up with this garbage just boggles the mind. It feels like it must have been written on cocktail napkins during a particularly drunken night out at the bar. The only good thing about it is that it is mercifully short, clocking in at just 55 minutes. And even then, this is labeled as the unrated "director's cut." This insinuates that there might be a slightly shorter version out there. Man oh man, how I wish I had watched that one.


FINAL SCORE: 0 out of 4 Bubs (Avoid At All Costs)



For more living dead goodies, check out my countdown of the 10 Hottest Zombie Babes at Night of the Living Trev.