Ten Deep 10.01.09: Movie Robots

Posted by Owain J. Brimfield on 10.01.2009

A multitude of mechanical malcontents feature in this week's column as we take a look at the best robotical thingamyjigs to feature in the movies. Domo aragato, Mr Roboto!





Welcome to week 49 of 'Ten Deep'! Thanks for putting up with last week's shorter than usual column on car chases, which managed to provoke quite a wide array of comments, so we begin as usual with some:

Reactions and interactions

There were a handful of recurring mentions of particularly notable omissions, and off the back of the plaudits delivered for To Live and Die in L.A. and Gone in 60 Seconds, it seems I'll have to make a point of tracking those ones down. The other major items of love were for The Bourne Supremacy, which it seems would have been rated higher than an honorable mention by most of you guys, and Death Proof, which is a great suggestion and I guess could have made an honorable mention. Definitely surprising to see that mentioned so frequently though.

Duel also warranted a few mentions, but I decided to leave that out on technical grounds, and Terminator 2 also cropped up a few times but didn't make the final cut for the column. And no, fender, Tron didn't count.

Elsewhere, Guest#5170 points out there's a lot of classics I haven't seen, but he does it in a polite manner which differentiates him from the usual sack of morons who complain about that aspect of the column, and to be fair I do wholeheartedly agree with him. A lot of my free time right now is being taken up catching up on some TV shows I've been missing (season four of The Office just turned up today), but I will get round to seeing a lot of these films in due course. Good suggestion for actor-specific editions of 'Ten Deep', too, I'll plug some into the schedule.

A bit of a boo-boo from Erik, who missed the fact not once but twice that I was talking about the original Taxi, not the crappy remake. Still, he did manage to create a new insult while arguing with fellow commenter S. Masters, and I have to say "cocksmocker" did make me giggle.

Sorry to disappoint DocSarpolis, but yeah, I'm not really a huge fan of Bullitt. I'll definitely give it another viewing though.

clint wants my opinion on the top ten westerns. I don't have enough material on that for a full column, since I'm not a fan of the genre at all, but if I had to put together a top ten it would probably look like this, in alphabetical order only:

Blazing Saddles; Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid; Dances With Wolves; Dead Man; A Fistful of Dollars; The Good, the Bad and the Ugly; No Country for Old Men; The Proposition; The Searchers; Unforgiven

There you go, a bonus edition of 'Ten Deep' in condensed form.

A neat bit of trivia courtesy of Mac, apparently an episode of MacGyver included some footage from The Italian Job's chase scene, which is quite bizarre. I haven't fact-checked that one but it certainly sounds plausible.

Mr. C. suggests, amusingly, I come up with a list of movies I need to see to make the complainers happy. That's actually not a bad idea and I might tackle it next time I'm in a lighthearted mood.

Moving on!

This week we're taking a turn towards science fiction - a theme that will be holding sway over 'Ten Deep' for the next few weeks in relation to the upcoming 50th column - and a subject that's somewhat apt given the recent release of Surrogates. We're looking at the best movie robots. Now, there's an important distinction here, so please read this before complaining about one of your favorites being missing (and if you don't read this and still complain, as always, you will be subject to mass ridicule and give me a good chuckle). I'm talking specifically about robots only, a robot being an automaton designed to perform particular tasks. That means there'll be no cyborgs (being a creature whose functions are aided by electronics or mechanics), which means no Daleks, no Robocop, no Terminators, and no Replicants. There'll be no AIs, so no HAL 9000 and no V'ger. There'll be no androids (being an automaton specifically designed to appear in human form), so no Ash or Bishop, no Mr Data, no Gunslinger, and sadly no Evil Bill & Ted. Strict constraints, to be sure, and feel free to argue about the definitions, but I'm quite anal about SF so we might as well do this right.

As always, there's one golden rule: if I haven't seen it, it's not allowed on the list.

This week's golden rule notable omissions: Mechagodzilla, Paulie's robot in Rocky IV





Honorable mention: The Iron Giant, in The Iron Giant

Vin Diesel's finest role? I wish I could put this one higher but it's been so long since I saw the movie I can't justify it.

Honorable mention: Unicron, in Transformers: The Movie

A planet-sized deathmonger with enough arrogance to fill the galaxy, and responsible for many Autobot deaths.

10. ED-209, in Robocop

We begin our list this week with a feat of stop-motion that would make Ray Harryhausen proud, with ED-209 the robotic guardian of OCP recalling the mythical creatures whose scarily disjointed movement proved the highlight of such films as Jason and the Argonauts. While Robocop's titular protagonist is, as highlighted before, a cyborg rather than a pure robot, his mechanical nemesis is much more the programmed killing machine and a lot more intimidating as a result. Well, there's also the height and the giant cannons adding to the intimidation factor as well, I suppose. Old ED doesn't feature too much in the film, but his introductory scene is one of the most memorable bits of the 80s, as he's paraded in for a demonstration in front of a group of execs that goes wrong in the scariest fashion. There's always something inherently terrifying about a robot breaking its programming and contravening one of Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics (which even if you don't know them explicitly, are implied in pretty much every cinematic depiction of robots), and thanks to Paul Verhoeven's typical subtlety from the director's chair, programming is broken in particularly gruesome fashion. Unfortunately for ED, his quasi-climactic battle with Murphy ends rather embarrassingly when he's foiled by a flight of stairs, and said humiliation prevents him from scaling any higher in this week's list - seeing him writhing around like the rolling puppy video that's appearing everywhere on the internetz does subtract quite substantially from his fearsome appearance, in much the same way that the Daleks of old lost all their scariness when confronted with a steep incline, until they invented rocket-powered shoes. Still, it's not his fault he crossed Robocop, and as a sentry-type robot, is still surely one of the most awe-inspiring sights you could witness if you wanted to break into a building.

9. WALL-E, in WALL-E

It's not often that animated characters leap into our hearts and minds quite as readily as WALL-E, but you have to hand it to Pixar, who can put more characterization into a puppet's left finger than many filmmakers can achieve over the course of ninety minutes. Of the eclectic cast of the studio's back catalogue, little robot WALL-E has perhaps the hardest job to do in terms of winning over the audience, carrying as he does much of the film's first forty minutes or so on his back, and showing a degree of silent-movie acting chops to rival Buster Keaton or Rowan Atkinson. For all that it's in theory easier to manipulate and fine-tune the performance of a CGI character than a real-life actor, that's immediately offset by the need to instill an emotional connection in a character who's essentially nothing more than a glorified robotic garbage sweeper. Happily for all involved, it's a successful achievement, in fact so much so that the film's first act where WALL-E is the only character on screen is perhaps the most enjoyable segment of the movie. While his interactions with the devolved human race and other robots later in the film (incidentally, EVE did make the shortlist for this week's column) are by no means unentertaining, the understated adventures of our little robot chum before he finds companionship are where the real magic of the movie lies, proving that all the iron cladding and laser death rays in the world count for naught if your robot isn't involved in compelling storytelling. Take note, giant Nazi robots in Sky Captain! For bringing a touch of the silent movie era into contemporary film where it might normally be frowned upon, and in fact beyond into the future, WALL-E deserves our recognition, and maybe a few bits of merchandise to be purchased too, because he's so damn cute to boot.

8. Robbie, in Forbidden Planet

Robby? I'm not entirely sure which is the preferred spelling here, but we'll go with this one in the spirit of not taking Wikipedia's word for everything. In case you're thinking you know Robbie from his striking looks but can't remember having seen Forbidden Planet, the robot itself has appeared in many other films and TV shows, including a few notable appearances in the original Twilight Zone and Lost in Space. However, while it's certainly extra points in the bag thanks to the added exposure, we'll be concentrating on Robbie's debut, and most important appearance, in one of the few memorable combinations of science fiction and Shakespeare. Taking the role of watchful pixie-thing Ariel in Fred Wilcox's spacebound version of The Tempest (no, I haven't read it), and inspired by a healthy chunk of pulp and hard sci-fi, Robbie is a classic representation of one of the genre's golden eras. Dedicated to his master to the extent that he's completely incapable of harming him even when pressed to do so by outside forces (another nod to the old Three Laws right there - the spoof name "Protectron" accompanying his cameo in Fallout 3 is on the money), Robbie harks back to a more creatively whimsical era of science fiction filmmaking. The character's design is exactly how you'd imagine a youngster in 1950s America would picture a robot to look after a healthy diet of pulp fiction, and it's that capricious spirit that has enabled the Robbie character to prosper long after the closing credits of Forbidden Planet. Still, it's in his debut feature that he retains his greatest impact, making even the flying saucers and alien "id" monster look forgettable by comparison. A true classic of robotic design.

7. Marvin, in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Being known the world over as Marvin the Paranoid Android, even to the extent of having a famous song named after him by notorious intellectual alt-rock nerds Radiohead (and for an enjoyable cover version of that particular tune, go here, it may seem odd that I'm including him here as a robot having specifically avoided androids, but then Douglas Adams wasn't exactly one for focusing on exact and accurate sci-fi terminology so we won't begrudge the misnomer. In fact, come to think of it, he's not quite so much paranoid as he is depressed, but I guess it rhymes so that makes up for it. Purists may recall the depiction of Marvin in the original Hitchhiker's TV series as being superior, and it's certainly got a kitsch appeal (it even cameos in the film), but since we're focusing only on movie robots here, the drastic reimagining feature in Hammer & Tongs' recent film adaptation it is. While the bulbous, stark white visage of Marvin redux caused some consternation among fans, it complemented the film's visual style without a doubt and certainly didn't hurt in the merchandise stakes. Still, for all the sleek modernist kitchen appliance design, Marvin's real appeal lies in his personality not his appearance, and in the deadpan and droll Alan Rickman rarely has there been a more adroit piece of voice casting. While in the books Marvin would go on to age billions and billions of years, here Rickman's world-weary drawl suggests that he's already put up with that many lifetimes of discomfort and irritation - if it were possible for a robot to have a hangdog expression on its face, Marvin's would last the entirety of the film and then some. While other robots this week may provide the comic relief, certainly none of them does so in such a relentlessly downcast fashion, combining the comic and the tragic with some deft characterization.

6. Optimus Prime, in Transformers: The Movie

I hate to admit that, despite the fact Transformers was one of my generation's premier cartoons/comics/toys du jour, I was never particularly grasped by the phenomenon of the robots in disguise, which is still something that utterly baffles my adult self looking back. However even I in my delinquent ways can recognize that the animated Transformers movie dwarfs the Michael Bay live-action version in everything except explosive spectacle. The Prime of Bay's film comes across, despite the commanding Peter Cullen vocals, as little more than a bog standard robot commander, whereas the Prime of the cartoons (and by extension this movie) is portrayed as a noble leader. The simple differentiation is that where Bay has Prime tip-toeing around Shia LaBeouf's backyard trying not to break stuff in a "comedy" fashion, the animated movie treats Prime's eventual [spoiler!] death with a surprising amount of gravitas. Admittedly, this does happen rather nearer to the start of the film than the end, but Prime is onscreen enough time to bring all of his cartoon mythos with him, and I know many a fan of the franchise who shed a childhood tear or two over this particular Decepticon ambush. Not me of course, for I am far too manly. Ahem. Prime's stature amongst the Autobots may well be diluted in this film by the emergence of several other leaders, namely Ultra Magnus and Rodimus Prime, but neither can really hold a candle to the true master. Plus, that voice is astounding. Hearing Peter Cullen say "Autobots, roll out!" is almost like hearing God speak to a Transformers fan, or at least so I'm told. After all these years, Optimus Prime continues secure in his legacy as the greatest Transformer of them all.

5. Gort, in The Day the Earth Stood Still

The only robot this week whose name sounds like a euphemism for a bodily function, Gort (as portrayed by burly doorman Lock Martin in the original Day the Earth Stood Still, natch, not the sub-par remake) earns his place in science fiction infamy for prompting the famous line "Klaatu Barada Nikto", delivered by his alien master Michael Rennie. However, soundbites don't a classic robot make all by themselves; aside from the fact that the film itself is a genre classic, what really makes Gort stand out in the pantheon of filmic robots is his imperious stature, serving as a bodyguard for benevolent alien mastermind Klaatu. The dude is a giant, and it's no wonder the citizens of Washington DC panic when he emerges from the UFO and stands stock still, like a futuristic terracotta soldier. Only when Klaatu is inadvertently attacked by the assembled masses does his power become evident, using magical laser vision to disintegrate military paraphernalia without breaking a (metallic) sweat. Although encased in an attempt to ensure the army's security in case of future attacks, Gort is all about biding his time and achieving as full an effect as possible with as little energy expended and happily sits in his mini-tomb until it becomes necessary to bust out and kick some (figurative) ass. Gort serves as the face of superior alien technology, giving credence to Klaatu's threats that mankind will happily be exterminated for the greater galactic good if they don't stop their petty warmongering, and even though on any decent transfer of the film you can see the strings enabling him to interact with other people, the sense of wonder rarely dissipates. The amassed scientists and world leaders at the climactic press conference are as bound as we are by his steely gaze, although I guess the gaze of any robot can't really help but be described that way.

4. R2-D2, in the Star Wars series

Everyone's favorite trash can on wheels was bound to make an appearance at the upper end of the list, although I'm sure one or two of you fair commenters may dispute the placement. Discuss away! I'll state up front, the reason old Artoo didn't manage to climb into the top three is pretty much solely down to Attack of the Clones where it's revealed that, actually, he can fly, which pretty much obviates the fact that much of his appeal is down to the Dalek-esque lack of mobility. Anyway, petty gripes such as that one aside (seriously though, wasn't anyone else disappointed by that scene where he casually busts out a jet and takes flight?), the movies' astromech of choice is of course a tried and true aspect of pop culture, with all sorts of novelty merchandise items up for grabs from hats to projectors to actual trash cans. Similarly to WALL-E, a key aspect of characterizing R2-D2 lies in humanizing him and giving the viewer an ability to relate, which is accomplished in large part by Ben Burtt's monumental sound design, crafting a string of beeps and creaks and translating them into facsimiles of real feelings. Of course, we know intuitively that R2, as a little box of circuits, can't feel pain or anything similar, but that sad little creak of disappointment he gives just before tipping over is just short of heartbreaking. As one half of the films' light-relief duo, R2 makes a great wisecracker to his compatriot's straight-man, even if he can't vocalize. He's a tenacious little bugger too, with increasing short moments of heroism as the saga drags on, each sure to elicit a cheer from the audience (they certainly did when I was viewing the Special Editions on the big screen, at any rate). And to top it all off, there's a little bloke inside him pulling the levers! Everyone loves midgets, right?

3. Maria, in Metropolis

The only one of our list this week to have the credential of adorning my sitting room wall (in the form of a lovely art-deco Metropolis canvas - having said that I do have a Day the Earth Stood Still print hanging on the wall in the office, so it's not quite an exclusive club), Maria is one of cinema's primary depictions of the art of robotics, with Fritz Lang's magnum opus Metropolis seeing release barely half a dozen years after the word was even coined (ten points and a shiny parsnip to the commenter who knows the details of that bit of trivia; I imagine it won't be hard if you know my preferences in SF literature). Needless to say, the actual technological implementation of the Maria robot is somewhat inauthentic compared to modern scientific thinking, with a mechanical marionette essentially having the physical appearance of the girl herself being somehow "beamed" over the top of its own metal body. Yes, the details are just as hazy in the film, but when you're watching a silent movie these things tend to be a little more forgivable. Scientific accuracy (or lack thereof) aside, the simple fact is that Metropolis' mechanical woman is as visually striking now as the 80+ years ago when the film was first released, all polished metal curves and expressionist-meets-art-deco design, at once unmistakably German and universally ambivalent. The film was as revolutionary as early genre touchstones like Le Voyage dans la Lune, and the depiction of the robotic Maria is a large part of that, influencing a substantial portion of cinematic robot design over the next century, and the scene where her transformation takes place remains one of the film's most powerful sequences. It's a little like Jimi Hendrix in a way; she may not have been the most technically painstaking of movie robots, but certainly one of the greatest.

2. Johnny 5, in the Short Circuit films

As many of you may well know, although I'm not vehemently opposed to the idea of remakes in general, for the most part I do get irritated when yet another lifeless and substandard Hollywood rejig plops into the toilet bowl of the multiplex, ever indicative of a slow decline in the creative process of the industry. When the remake of Short Circuit was mooted though, I was genuinely puzzled, rather than frustrated. Stars Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens are charismatic and likeable enough that there's no problems in terms of the film's characters relating to a new audience, with the possible exceptions of some questionable fashion choices, and while an 80s soundtrack admittedly dates a film more so than for any other decade, I honestly can't see what a redo would achieve here. Why? Because lead robot Johnny 5 is such a dang memorable movie character, there's no way he could be reorchestrated without losing his appeal. While a number of this week's entries tend towards the strong, silent type, Number 5 is endlessly vocal, whether delivering childish whoops of glee as he storms off down the road or re-enacting Three Stooges sketches for, apparently, his own amusement. The conclusion of the second film, cheesy as hell though it is, sees Johnny 5 accepted as an American citizen (not to mention decked out in some pimptastic gold plated finery), is in many ways representative of the way movie audiences accepted him into their hearts. Can I get away with that without being accused of cheesemongering? It's a particularly cornball statement, but it's not too far from the mark, as any child of the 80s (and I'm displaying my biases proudly on my shirt sleeve here) has a nostalgic fondness for Johnny 5, who is indeed still alive, and by no means in need of resurrection.

1. C-3PO, in the Star Wars series

I'm dreading having to defend C-3PO as the number one choice of the week, given that he's probably the most feminine of the robots featured, and that's even taking an actual female robot into consideration. But, for all that robots with ten inch armor and disintegration rays are undoubtedly cool and manly, C-3PO is just more entertaining. As debatably the most famous (or infamous, depending on your point of view) robot in cinema history, he does have a lot to live up to. Taking the Star Wars saga as a whole, then while Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader does act as the lynchpin, C-3PO also plays an important part in providing elements of continuity and grounding the films when they threaten to get too pretentious. Anthony Daniels' (the only actor off the top of my head I can think of that appeared in the full set of films, although I'm sure some trivia expert / nerd champion will prove me wrong) prissy vocal stylings and exaggerated campy mannerisms are the perfect complement to a character as genteel as a protocol droid, and the chronological transition of Threepio from Phantom Menace to Return of the Jedi, schoolboy engineering project to God of the Ewoks, is never less than entertaining. His interactions with compatriot R2-D2 are also priceless, with Threepio's unfailing manners and constant belief that every situation affords mortal peril contrasting with R2's own character to create a classic example of the comedy duo. Sure, the first prequel's revelation that OMG! Vader actually built him! was pretty stupid and a bit of a contrivance in terms of the series' continuity, but we work with what we're given, and that particular "swerve" doesn't prevent C-3PO from being one of the most distinctive characters in the saga, and thus one of the most distinctive robots in movie history.

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And finally…

Feeling aggrieved or elated at this week's ten picks? Then let me know! The magic of the interweb allows you to post your comments right here on this very page, and if they're especially insightful (or idiotic), I may even respond in the next column. Be sure to tune in next week for another edition of 'Ten Deep', where we'll be doing something special to celebrate the 50th column, but until then - keep watching the skies.