411 Fact or Fiction Movies/TV 10.09.09: Week 198

Posted by Ben Piper on 10.09.2009

Would the next Pirates of The Caribbean movie be doomed to fail without Johnny Depp? Does the new trailer for the Nightmare On Elm Street remake have you interested? Will Letterman's legacy be permanently tarnished by the current sex scandal? 411's Erik Luers and Joseph Lee debate these and other subjects in week 198 of 411 Fact or Fiction: Movies/TV!



…2…

‘Allo Governor! Welcome back yet again to another fantastical edition of Fact or Fiction!

Earlier this week Ron Martin wrote of the fiftieth anniversary of the seminal Twilight Zone TV series. It was a good read to be sure, but it kind of annoyed me. Why, may you ask? Well, because this past week marked another big anniversary in the annals of modern entertainment, and no one else here at 411 has had the coconuts to bring it up. Of course, the anniversary I speak of…

It's..



Monty Python's Flying Circus debuted on BBC TV October 5th, 1969. If I really have to go into detail about why this was an important show in the realm of modern day comedy, then you have some catching up to do. Not only did the show offer up many classic sketches (Parrot Sketch, The Spanish Inquisition, The Ministry For Silly Walks, etc.) that turned the idea of what television comedy could be on it's ear, the troupe that brought this brilliant zaniness to us all also went on to make a couple of classic films as well.

So in the spirit of celebration and appreciation, please allow me to regale you with a little song…

Ahem…

"I'm a lumber jack and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day"…

What? That one doesn't work for you? Hey, I know I don't have the best singing voice or anything, but let's try to get into the mood a little, people… Okay, something else, perhaps…

"Sit on my face and tell me that you love me…"

Wow, that was quick. Okay, I've officially been shut down by the powers that be to stop this little song and dance before that last ditty gets any further along.

Happy Birthday Monty. Messieurs Cleese, Idol, Palin, Jones, Chapman & Gilliam, thank you all so much for everything.

This time around we've got Joseph Lee and Erik Luers in the house. Let's see what these two are up to, shall we?



1. Couples Retreat will be an enjoyable comedy bolstered by an outstanding ensemble cast.

Joseph Lee: Fact - The key word here is enjoyable. It doesn't look as though it'll be as funny as say, The Hangover or I Love You, Man, but with that cast how could it not be entertaining? Not only that but Kristen Bell and Malin Akerman? Wow. So yeah, I'm guessing it'll be a fun distraction for those who go to see it over the weekend. It's about time Vince Vaughn was in something funny again.

Erik Luers: Fiction - To me, Couples Retreat looks like another in a long line of disposable "we're over thirty years old and yet we still act like teenagers" four quadrant comedy flicks. The jokes look lame, and the film looks too polished for this kind of genre (look at that scene where they're floating out at sea on a dark and stormy night; something tells me Universal is putting its money on spectacle and not necessarily on narrative). Everything in this movie (the exotic location, the attractive women, the surveying sharks) seem to be distracting us from something else: an unfragmented story. Only time will tell. One of the very few benefits of not getting laid is that I won't be dragged out to see this with any significant other. On the other hand, I spend way too many nights in my room watching Before Sunset alone. Take from that what you will. I hope Ethan Hawke didn't miss his flight.

Score: 0 for 1

2. You do not think that Roman Polanski should be extradited to the US to face the repercussions of thirty year old criminal charges.

Joseph Lee: Fiction - While the details of the previous case are sketchy: the judge supposedly reneged on Polanski's deal and even the victim wants the case thrown out...the fact remains that Polanski pled guilty. Let's not even get into the specific crime. He pled guilty to a serious felony and fled the country. He should not be exempt from justice because he is old or made a few pretty movies.

Erik Luers: Fiction - Suddenly Roman Polanski is the most talked about director in town, and what a coincidence that he was caught a week before the release of the new Chinatown DVD. Oh the irony. I can't believe people are still talking about this scandal. Everyone obsessed with this story are either personal friends and family of the party involved or people who don't even know or care about the director's work. How come no one said anything when Oliver Twist came out? That's because no one was interested. Now he's the new John And Kate, Michael Jackson death, and Kanye West MTV Music Awards mess all rolled into one. Yes, Polanski should go to prison (he foolishly tried to settle this outside of court with the girl by paying her $500,000 off the books), and that is that. But his films speak for themselves, and people need to learn how to separate the man (or woman, granted you've seen The Tenant) from the director. Most of his films are damn good and that's all I care about. Remember the Woody Allen scandal from seventeen years ago? Doesn't matter to me as the man does great work. O.J. Simpson? That guy had great facial expressions in The Naked Gun movies. Robert Blake? Have you seen Lost Highway? What a performance. Elia Kazan? Very good director who happened to rat out a bunch of people to Joseph McCarthy, ruining budding careers for the rest of their lives. Doesn't affect us personally, but his films do. I do not condone the actions of these men, but I don't condemn their work either.

Score: 1 for 2



3. You agree with Esquire Magazine's assertion that Kate Beckinsale is the sexiest woman alive.

Joseph Lee: Fact - Why not? While there are a few women that are at least as sexy as Beckinsale, I can't argue with those who think she's at the top. The fact they provided some excellent pictures as proof to that claim makes it hard to say otherwise.

Erik Luers: Fiction - Well, I mean, I'd bang her if that means anything (and it probably doesn't). If she one day knocked on my front door and said, "hey Erik, want to reenact scenes from Antichrist?," I'd take some painkillers and say, "you bet." That's as far as it goes. Her latest film, Whiteout, was a washout (thank you, thank you), but she is a good actress (see Snow Angels for further proof of this) and a very hot one at that. But who does the voting over at Esquire? Any English people involved? No? Hmm. When she debuted on the scene, I bet it gave new life to the phrase, "the British are coming". I personally would have picked Penelope Cruz, of course, but different strokes for different folks. Actually, some folks get no strokes, and that can be very sad indeed. Broken Embraces, Thanksgiving Weekend, go see it.

Score: 1 for 3

Switch!!!



4. A Pirates Of The Caribbean movie without Johnny Depp in it would be destined to be a flop at the box office.

Erik Luers:Fiction - The Pirates of the Caribbean title alone guarantees $150 million at the box office. Now, in a way, for Disney at least, that could be considered a flop. I have no idea what their nut and bolt is, but with marketing and print costs factored in, we're looking at over $250 million. Luckily, with foreign distribution and DVD sales (not to mention fast food tie ins and cheap action figures), the film would be considered a success. The newest Terminator movie did well without the involvement of the Governor of California, and Pirates is hotter than that. It may be a little disappointing (it would certainly be the least successful entry in the series, hence the law of diminishing returns) but it would still sell on brand recognition.

Joseph LeeFiction - Basically, exactly what Erik said. At this point in the franchise, it can make a large amount of money just on it's name alone. If it actually turns out to be good, then it'll make more thanks to strong word-of-mouth. Johnny Depp not being attached, as good as he is, isn't going to hurt this movie at all. Make the movie about different pirates, cast different actors, maybe throw in a cameo from Geoffery Rush and this is an easy pile of money for Disney.

Score: 2 for 4

5. David Letterman's legacy will be forever tarnished in light of the sex scandal he finds himself currently in.

Erik Luers: Fiction- First, please look at my comments on Roman Polanski. I feel the same way about Letterman. He got caught so everyone hates him now. Oh the horror. It's the man's personal business and yet we demand he be burned alive at the stake. Oscar winner David Lean was known for having a wandering eye (in addition to having six wives........no, not all at once), and yet we remember him for being an epic director. Scorsese has had five wives and was an avid coke user in the 1970s. Does this mean that in our Puritanical and Christianized society, we should condemn him for forty days and forty nights? Destroy all his films? Should movies about immoral people like Jake LaMotta never see the light of day? Matthew Broderick was stupidly driving in the wrong lane in Northern Ireland twenty-two years ago and killed a man in a head on collision. Should we all start calling him a murderer? C'mon now. Let's focus on the work of our entertainers and worry less about what they do with their penises.

Joseph Lee: Fiction- Maybe for the type of people that take other people's personal affairs too seriously, but for the rest of us sane, rational people, no. David Letterman slept around? Who in Hollywood hasn't? I'm not saying it's right but there are far more important things going on right now. If people look at David Letterman and can only think about the fact that he had extramarital relationships instead of the many years he has served as a talk show host, providing entertainment for many, then they need to sort out their priorities.

Score: 3 for 5

6. The new trailer for the Nightmare On Elm Street remake has you greatly interested in seeing the movie.

Erik Luers: Fiction- I will see the movie regardless but the trailer makes me neither bitch and moan nor jump up and down on my Fangoria and Gorezone bedsheets. I want to see a trailer for a new Wes Craven movie already! Shucks. It looks like Freddy may be a sympathetic character in this new movie, as the trailer implies he didn't murder any of the Elm Street kids. Hopefully the full movie will elaborate or alter this. One thing's for sure, in this day and age of To Catch a Predator, Freddy wouldn't last long in the internet era. He would lure kids online and then be caught by a fifty year old man by the name of Chris Hansen, who would in turn have the very transcripts in hand. When Freddy walks in, Hansen could yell, "welcome to prime time, bitch". That would be good. What we must remember is that the original A Nightmare on Elm Street (not to be confused with The Monsters Are On Maple Street) is not high art, and this doesn't appear to be either. At least it has some scenes from the 1984 version intact. Some fans will love that and some will hate it. Complain, complain all day long. You know what I want to see remade? Shocker. Universal, please do it. I want to see what the villain would do in this new streaming and downloading age. He could be defeated not by Peter Berg, but by iTunes.

Joseph Lee: Fact- I find it odd that I'm actually in the minority about this. I find it even more odd that people are complaining about something as stupid as the fact that Freddy has a slur to his words. If your throat and lips were burned, wouldn't you have a hard time speaking? Of course the last time people complained about something Jackie Earle Haley did, it was Rorscarch with his voice. Guess they were all wrong then, too. Yes, I'm excited about the remake, which is something I wouldn't have said with a lesser actor taking over the glove. Even if the voice or look were wrong, a strong actor can overcome those flaws and Haley is that.

Final Score: 3 for 6

Bonus Non Fact or Fiction Question: What is your favorite documentary of all-time?

Erik Luers: Of all the documentaries I've seen, I have to go with Cinemania (2002) for one simple reason: I can relate to it. It may not be the most aesthetically pleasing, and for a movie about people who love film, it's somewhat ironic that it was shot on video, but it is one of the most interesting films I have ever seen. A group of people, living in New York City, go to movies day and night, seven days a week. A freakish obsession or a mere hobby? A severe case of cinephelia or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? For me, this film is not an outlandish tale but a strict warning. Last year, I went to see The Exorcist at the Walter Reade Theater at Lincoln Center and ran into one of the "subjects" of Cinemania. They are the real deal. Pauline Kael once said that you have to allow yourself to get drunk on movies. These people passed out long ago. Also recommended: Hearts of Darkness, Vernon Florida, Lost in La Mancha, Crumb.

Joseph Lee: I don't watch very many documentaries, so I'll have to go with what I've seen. My favorite is Kurt and Courtney. Whatever you think about the Kurt Cobain suicide and whether or not there was foul play, this is a fascinating look into what could have been. It seems to lean a little too much into conspiracy theories and less into suggesting that it wasn't murder, but it makes you think. Plus it's about the frontman of my favorite band of all time, so that helps.

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My, Erik is full of fictions, this week, isn't he? He and Joseph split the difference. Many thanks to them both for taking part. Come back next week, and we'll do it all over again.
-BP

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