Deleted Scenes 10.22.09: Christmas Eve and Presents Galore
Posted by Robert Sullivan on 10.21.2009
...if you're into the Saw series, that is. Come on in.
Hey, everybody. I'm Rob, this is Deleted Scenes, and welcome back to another variation thereof. Well, readers, you've gotten to know me a little bit over these past columns.
If you've been paying attention, of course.
For example, you'd know that I'm a massive Achiever. You might also remember my membership in the ever-growing cult around The Shawshank Redemption. Hell, you could even recall that I'm fairly certain that this is simply the greatest and best food in the entire world -
Chick-Fil-A nuggets, the closest thing we have to a meat-based version of crack.
...
Oh, dear, I just distracted myself.
Anyway, there's a few things I love, and if you readers have been following cinematic release dates like I do, you know what's getting released at 12:01 AM in theaters nationwide tomorrow. You can feel my excitement through your computer monitors or Blackberry devices or what-have-you. And yet...something about this wonderful day is a bit off.
But before we can get to that, we have to do a little bit of the business.
And after you read all that content, go ahead and make 411Mania YOUR official homepage. You're good people, I know you will.
The Column
Merry Christmas, one and all! The release of Saw VI is just around the corner and I for one could not possibly be happier. The continuing adventures of Jigsaw, Hoffman, and the overriding title of...
Oh, wait. "Couldn't be happier" - not exactly. That's not entirely true. Why is that, hmmm...
Now I remember. The Saw marathon is only going to be playing in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, ohhhhhh!
New York. Cinema friggin' central. And what does this area (and I use the term "area" very loosely)get? Rochester. If you don't realize, Rochester might as well be Goddamned Canada. Located waaaaaay the fuck in Western New York, it's but another glorious highlight in the seeming desire of Lionsgate to tour all six Saw films in East Nowhere.
Check out the list yourself. Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Georgia, Alabama...come now. This simply will not do. When Saw VII comes out, and in 3-D no less, it'd be nice to think Lionsgate will remember to include the states that made up the Union in the Civil War, okay? We certainly enjoy blood, torture, and horror that makes us consider the nature of guilt, redemption, and what it means to be fully human as well.
Yes, the Saw movies make the audience think of those things. At least, the ones who are open to something beyond the surface. I can't speak to every teenager and twentysomething, after all.
I had no idea John Kramer was a Confederate sympathizer, but apparently he had a soft spot for old Dixie. Something arguably worse than anything he ever did in the franchise, by the by, but I digress. My Yankee heart will be left to run the DVDs in my home system, one after the other...and then, of course, watch the actual Yankees as they win the 2009 AL pennant and make the World Series.
But I digress again. Saw VI is here, and I can't wait to see it.
C'mon, Dr. Gordon, Dr. Gordon, come back...come back, Dr. Gordon...
