The Hush-Hush News Report 10.27.09: The Fall of Cinematic Empires

Posted by Jeremy Thomas on 10.27.2009

This week we look at eight films that brought franchises to their knees! Plus news on Mad Max 4, the next Bond film's release date, a live-action Ghost in the Shell, Paranormal Activity 2 buzz, new mini-reviews and more!

&width

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Hush-Hush News Report. I am, as always, your host Jeremy Thomas, bringing the latest in news, rumors and more from Hollywood. My schedule gets weirder and weirder at my new job, but somehow I persevere and thus, you have news to read! Let's get to it, shall we?

Before you start reading, have you bookmarked 411Mania.com yet? It's the easiest thing in the world to do, and it'll get you your daily dose of entertainment news that much quicker! Typing the URL out in the address bar is such a pain, don'tcha think? Hell, make it your home page and it'll be that much easier for you!

Mad Max to Travel Fury Road



A fourth "Mad Max" begins pre-production next week and will be shot around the Australian state of New South Wales starting in August next year.

Speaking at a press conference in Sydney on Saturday, director George Miller revealed that he's "still in the middle of casting" and isn't sure who'll be involved as yet, putting doubt on some online rumors earlier that emerged this week about Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron scoring roles.

Australian media reports have been quick to suggest that local thespian turned Hollywood action hunk Sam Worthington is another name on the list, but Miller is keeping his options open for now - "It could be Mel [Gibson], it could be anyone".

Expected to be one of the largest and most ambitious live action films ever made in Australia, the project comes at a time when the Australian film production industry is in trouble.

With the local economy holding up better than many other developed nations during the global financial crisis, the Australian dollar has soared to record highs which has caused various international film productions to skip out on production Down Under due to the expense, notably last week's loss of the "Green Lantern" live-action film.

Miller will develop the fourth film 'Fury Road' (he confirmed the title) as he continues production on the "Happy Feet" sequel, both with CarriageWork.

Thirty weeks of the filming are expected to take place in and around Broken Hill, the same area where much of the second film "The Road Warrior" was shot.

As a fan of good post-apocalyptic films, I'm hopeful for this. The last three Mad Max movies had their charms, even if they weren't always great or even good. While I'm not generally a fan of recasting roles, I think it's obvious that casting Gibson at this stage in his career would be a mistake. He's simply too old and seems to have moved on from the role. Worthington on the other hand would be a good successor to Gibson, if indeed he's up for it. In addition, I imagine that the Australian film industry loves this, since as the article says they are in a bit of trouble. It will be a good while before the press on this one heats up, but I am cautiously optimistic.


Daniel Craig Lets A Bond Newsbit Slip



Daniel Craig has revealed that the next James Bond feature will begin shooting late next year says CommanderBond.net.

Signing autographs after a performance of his Broadway play A Steady Rain, a fan in the crowd asked when the next 007 adventure would hit. Craig responded "we start the end of the next year" and the fan caught the response on video. That news follows the general schedule of Bond movie production which commences 10-12 months before release, indicating a November 2011 opening.

The release would be three years after "Quantum of Solace" which scored notable criticism for being a rushed, troubled production in order to meet a release date. Producer Michael G. Wilson had previously stated that work began on the script earlier this year.

In other Bond news this week saw the passing of Joseph Wiseman, the talented Canadian thespian who notably appeared as Doctor No, the very first Bond villain in the first of the Bond films "Dr. No" in 1962.

Despite appearing in only two scenes of the film, his character and performance in the now famous dinner table scene where he explains his plans to Bond (Sean Connery) laid the ground work for not only this franchise but many other action movies that followed.

Well, we've known that this film's been in development to no one's surprise, so this simply comes as confirmation of the stage of development it's in. I have no problem with the Bond crew taking their time on this one. I don't think Quantum of Solace was a bad film at all, but I bet it would have benefitted from a little extra time spent and care put into it. Casting rumors have been popping up for a while now, much to Movie Zone editor Chad Webb's glee (he loves baseless casting rumors), and they'll likely start up again in earnest with this little bit of news. I still think that Michael Sheen as Blofield isn't a bad choice at all, but that's just me.

On the other hand, it's sad to see Joseph Wiseman pass. Wiseman was never remembered for anything as much as he was for Dr. No, but he did appear in several other, much smaller films and appeared often on television, most particularly for Michael Mann's mid-80's crime drama Crime Story. Wiseman also appeared on Broadway in several roles, and was the last surviving main villain of the Sean Connery Bond films. It truly is the end of an era.


District 9 Director Has a Bit More Sci-Fi Up his Sleeve



"District 9" writer-director Neill Blomkamp is teaming with Media Rights Capital on an untitled sci-fi project says Variety.

Blomkamp plans to begin work on writing and preparing the visual effects for the production which will have a modest budget but expected to cost notably more than the $30 million spent on "District 9".

Blomkamp claims to have chosen MRC as it allows him to make the film without interference or compromise. Shooting aims to kick off mid-2010.

That second-to-last sentence is very encouraging, as Blomkamp proved with District 9 that he has a sharp creative mind and that's the kind of thing you want to let run a bit. There's very little available about the project, other than what's listed above, though it's believed to be a separate story then the District 9 world but still be a socially relevant story. Blomkamp is a talented director who did a lot with a scant amount of money, and one hopes that he isn't one of the directors who falls apart under a film with a more Hollywood-ized budget.


Shutter Island Scribe to Find the Ghost in the Shell



Laeta Kalogridis ("Shutter Island," "Alexander") will pen the script for the 3D live-action American adaptation of classic Japanese manga "Ghost in the Shell" for DreamWorks Pictures says Variety.

The story follows the exploits of a member of a covert ops unit of the Japanese National Public Safety Commission that specializes in fighting technology-related crime.

The 1989 manga lead to anime film and TV adaptations, most notably Mamoru Oshii's 1995 film "Ghost in the Shell" which is considered a cornerstone of the genre and one of the first films of the genre to crossover outside Japan.

Avi Arad, Ari Arad and Steven Paul will produce. Jamie Moss penned a previous draft of the script.

I've been dreading this for a while, but with the mind behind the encouraging-looking Shutter Island and the underrated Alexander working on the script, I have a bit more hope. Ghost in the Shell is a fantastic piece of anime which I have little faith in Hollywood's ability to properly recreate. The studios don't seem to have a good grasp on Asian stories anymore and I can see this going very, horribly wrong. At the same time, with a proper director behind it and someone who believes in that director enough to fight for them to the studios could result in something very worthwhile. Let the casting rumors start….now.


Heroes In a Half-Shell To Take On Green Slime?



Nickelodeon has acquired global intellectual property rights to the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" brand and franchise from The Mirage Group and 4Kids Entertainment, Inc. for a cool $60 million.

With the acquisition, Nickelodeon has announced plans to develop a new CG-animated television series based on the popular superhero franchise and a feature film which it will develop with Paramount Pictures (both are owned by Viacom Inc.). Both the film and first episode of the show are expected to score a release in 2012.

Nickelodeon's deal includes all merchandising rights and will continue the partnership with toy partner Playmates Toys who has been handling the property for two decades.

The currently screening "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" animated television series will continue to air on The CW network through till next August.

Sadly, I predict that not that many people will get the joke in the headline. Yes, I am old. I've spoken before about this reboot/sequel, which was rumored before Nickelodeon bought the franchise, and I will still say I'm not a fan. The Turtles Forever movie is an anomaly in that it seems like wacky fun, but I think that there was nothing wrong with the last CGI film and if all indications are true, this will have no correlation to that movie. What is the limit on reboots, anyway? When does a studio say "Okay, we've gotten all we can out of starting this franchise over again and again"? I wish I could say right about here, but I don't think I can. Nickelodeon produces entertainment that is more kid-friendly than even Disney—Hotel For Dogs, Rugrats and The Wild Thornberrys, anyone?—and so anyone hoping for a darker Turtles movie closer to the source material might as well give up right about now.


Damon and Brolin Lining Up For True Grit?



Matt Damon and Josh Brolin are in discussions with Joel and Ethan Coen to join Jeff Bridges in "True Grit," the re-imagining of the iconic 1969 Western that Paramount Pictures will put into production next March for late 2010 release.
The Coens, who previously attached their "Big Lebowski" star Bridges to play U.S. marshal Rooster Cogburn, are in talks with Damon to play the lawman (played by Glen Campbell in the original) who teams with Cogburn and a 14-year old girl to track her father's killer into hostile Indian territory.

In a turnabout, Brolin is in talks to play the killer. The actor's recent rise was greatly helped playing the good guy in the Coens' Oscar-winning contemporary Western "No Country for Old Men." Jeff Corey played the killer in the original, and Robert Duvall and Dennis Hopper also played outlaws. They haven't yet cast the young girl.

The Coens are producing with Scott Rudin and Steven Spielberg. The Coens wrote a script which is more faithful to the Charles Portis novel that inspired the original. Though their current picture "A Serious Man" isn't chock full of stars, the Coens continue to draw top actors who want to work in their films.

Damon just wrapped the Clint Eastwood-directed "Invictus" and is shooting the George Nolfi-directed "The Adjustment Bureau." He's also set to re-team with Eastwood in "Hereafter." Brolin is shooting the Oliver Stone-directed "Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps," and then will star in the Asger Leth-directed drama "Cartel."

The more I hear about the Coens' adaptation of True Grit, the more I love. Jeff Bridges as Rooster Cogburn was a good start, and made me hope that rumors of the brothers would be making a movie all their own (and not a pure remake) were going to be true. The potential casting of Brolin and Damon, two fantastic actors in their own right, makes this a very good film potentially. Of course, most of the success here will lie on the yet-uncast girl, whom the movie is supposed to be "through the eyes of" (read: main character here). The Coens have had a few miscasting in their time but usually they're spot-on, so I'm definitely giving them the benefit of the doubt and looking forward to hearing more about this.


Knightley is a Fair Lady



Keira Knightley is reteaming with director Joe Wright ("Pride and Prejudice," "Atonement") on a remake of "My Fair Lady" reports Keira Web.

Knightley auditioned for the role last year and has already started her singing lessons for the project which actress Emma Thompson is adapting.

The script is expected to be more faithful to George Bernard Shaw's original play "Pygmalion" than the 50's Lerner & Loewe musical which served as the basis for the 1964 feature film.

Knightley herself is currently in Tbilisi visiting Rupert Friend who's shooting the Renny Harlin-directed drama "Georgia" about last year's Russia/Georgia conflict in South Ossetia.

Well, Keira's clearly tired of being "just nominated" at the Oscars. All kidding aside, this isn't a bad move for her. After starting off as a sex symbol, Knightley has made a respected career out of period pieces and the like, and if anyone can do the Hepburn role in My Fair Lady right it would be here. I have never enjoyed this particular musical, just not finding the story appealing, but I'll give this one a chance, especially with Emma Thompson involved in a creative sense. The one thing that shocks me here…Keira Knightly in a Renny Harlin film? Say it ain't so, Keira! You're better than that.


Stupid But Inevitable Sequel News of the Week



Paramount Pictures is actively considering producing a sequel to "Paranormal Activity," the out-of-the-blue horror flick that cost $15,000 to produce and has sold $62.5 million worth of tickets so far domestically.

"We have the rights on a worldwide basis to do 'Paranormal 2' and we're looking to see if that makes some sense," Paramount Chairman Brad Grey said in an interview today.

In an industry obsessed with building franchises, a second "Paranormal Activity" seems like a no-brainer. The studio acquired the movie for just $300,000 and has spent less than $10 million on marketing, relying primarily on word-of-mouth and Internet buzz. It is on track to gross more than $100 million domestically. That would make it, Grey said, the most profitable film for Paramount since he took over in 2005 and, quite possibly, in the studio's history.

Producing follow-ups to low-cost movies that unexpectedly capture the nation's attention can be difficult, however, making a "Paranormal" sequel a potentially perilous task for the studio. "Book of Shadows," the 2000 follow-up to 1999's indie horror phenomenon "The Blair Witch Project," was very poorly received and grossed just $26.4 million domestically, compared to $140.6 million for the original.

Paramount has an extra reason to make a sequel to "Paranormal Activity" beyond trying to duplicate its success: Although the studio has only domestic rights to the current film, it would have worldwide rights to a follow-up, Grey noted.

If it owned the movie overseas as well, "Paranormal Activity" would be even more profitable for Paramount. The film, which starts playing in foreign countries Friday, is being sold to international distributors by IM Global.

Having just seen Paranormal Activity this weekend, I can comfortably say that it is a great little horror film. It isn't the scariest film ever, but it is effectively creepy and well-acted and shot. That being said, Paramount would be idiotic to make a sequel to this. There are so many reasons that this won't work. The first is that the story, while well-executed, is generic and there is no strong mythology in there to tie everything together. Thus, any generic story of demonic possession could be applied to the film, which really doesn't make it a real Paranormal sequel. Kind of defeats the point, don't you think? Second, Paramount needs to look at Artisan Entertainment, who decided after the unparalleled success of The Blair Witch Project to make a sequel. Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows was an unmitigated disaster, both creatively and financially , and this days is known only for that failure and for being one of Burn Notice's Jeffrey Donovan's first feature films. The problem is that the "found footage" concept only works once, and after that the gimmick starts to fall apart. And Paranormal's skill at evoking mood and suspense comes from the gimmick. I promise Paramount that lightning will NOT strike twice here, and they would be stupid to try. Of course, they will and it will bomb, likely staining the original's reputation by association. Lovely.

---

Check below for some of the excellent work here on-site you should be reading if you haven't already:

Ask 411 Movies: Leonard Hayhurst talks about more football movies, Point Break, the greatest sidekicks there ever were and movies men are allowed to cry!
The October Zombie-Thon 2009: Trevor Snyder gives us the horror of Poultrygeist!
Around the World in 24 Frames: Len Archibald's eye moves back to Japan with Yasujirō Ozu's Tokyo Story!
Ten Deep: Owain Brimfield's countdown of the top 50 Sci-Fi films continues!
Misunderstood Masterpieces: Will Helm takes a look at the gloriously cheesy Love at First Bite!

And for shameless self-promotion, check out my work:

The Movie Zone Top 5: It's the Hottest Horror Villains! Yes, there are some, and they are indeed hot.
The 411 Movies Zone Podcast: We talk about a Crow reboot, Land of the Lost's anti-smoking criticism, Twilight 4, new films and sequels that suck!

Fact or Fiction: Ryan Byers and Owain Brimfield debate Eric Young's Legends Title win, Captain Lou's legacy, Shane McMahon's resignation and more!
Wrestling's 4 R's: Friday Edition: Snoop Dogg makes a weed joke. Cue the Parents Television Council protests!
Wrestling's 4 R's: Monday Edition: The return of the Ri-God-Damn-Diculous. Who knew it would be for SmackDown and not Raw?
Wrestler of the Week Week 30: Bragging Rights means some serious changes to the top 15, and a renamed Brit shoots up toward the top!





Do you Twitter? If not, you should! And while you're at it, add these to your list of people that you follow so that you can get the latest updates!

Follow Me on Twitter!
411Mania.com
411's Wrestling Zone
411's Movies & TV Zone
411's Music Zone
411's Games Zone
411's MMA Zone
411's Boxing Zone

---

From YepYep:
In my opinion, the reason we see mass marketed remakes of films like REC and Let the Right One In (pushed out the door within a year or two of the original's creation) is simple. We Americans are a truly and often pathetically xenophobic bunch. I'm sure the studios believe that they would see better returns on an American film than a Spanish or Swedish film, particularly if those films are in their native languages. And the studios are probably right. At least the silver lining is that foreign films are a lot more readily accessible on home video these days than they were even ten years ago.

I don't disagree at all, YepYep. One of the reasons that we're so xenophobic, however, is that our media gives us every reason to continue doing so. As much as I would like to say that people aren't led along by mass-marketing, they are and the idea that foreign countries (and their films) are automatically inferior to ours has sunk deeply into public consciousness. Even little things like a Best Foreign-Language Film category that in my opinion marginalizes those films make the case pretty strongly. You are correct about the silver lining though, and that is at least nice to see.


From The Great Capt. Smooth:
Thanks for the picture info. As far as reasons for people wanting to see something like a G.I.JOE movie, I just wanted to see Snake Eyes kick some ass. It really has a lot to do with childhood. These are characters that people grew up with and have always wanted to see on the big screen. There is another reason: Geek is chic. I don't know when there has been a better time to proudly say that you are into geeky things. It's nice to see the former outcasts get a chance in the spotlight.

I'm totally with you on the rise of Geekdom. To use a cliché, geek is certainly the new cool and I love seeing that. As for G.I. Joe, I was as excited as anyone about seeing Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow battling in live-action. And that was the one single and solitary thing that was good about the film. I'll leave it at that.


From Spaghett:
Great column. I guess I liked The Big Lebowski a lot more than you did. The characters in this movie are the most relatable characters in any movie I've ever seen. Plus, how many movies have a religion based on it.

Relatable characters? You kind of lost me there. I mean we're talking about an ex-military bowler who pulls a gun on a guy to enforce a scuff, a German nihilist porn star, a rich and overstuffed blowhard and an experimental artist. The Dude may be somewhat relatable, but even there I'm not so sure. As for films with religions around it, as noted by another there's quite a few. But I also acknowledge that a lot of people love this movie, and that's fine with me. It's good, but it's not the end-all be-all of movies.


From Guest#1067:
Spaghett- there's more religions based on movies than you might think... just because you've never heard of them doesn't mean they aren't out there. Star Wars is an obvious one... but here's an interesting phrase:

KING KONG DIED FOR YOUR SINS


...think about it.


Oh, also Lebowski kicks ass, I don't know about people elevating it up like it's Casablanca, but you know-- Monty Python & the Holy Grail is great too and that doesn't mean people think it's Citizen Kane.

Lebowski & other movies are given high regard not because they're masterpieces but because they're so damned entertaining.

When the "fun level" of a movie is a 10, it can afford to be imperfect in other ways and be justified in all the praise it gets (look at Ghostbusters)

Obviously, there are differences in quality and enjoyability factor. I tend to factor a film's "fun factor" into the final rating--a beautifully made but joyless film can earn a low rating from me as well as a badly-made one (see: Blindness). Again, Lebowski is good. I enjoy it, but I didn't enjoy it so much as to consider it something great. Pure personal preference, I guess.

---

The Deal: Excellent acting highlights The Deal, one of Peter Morgan's first feature-length projects. Produced as a British television movie, the story chronicles the friendship and rivalry between Tony Blair and Gordon Brown during their rise to power. Michael Sheen and David Morrissey give outstanding performances as Blair and Brown respectively, and with backing from Paul Rhys, Glenna Morrison and others, they elevate the film which would have been a noble misfire otherwise. Morgan's story is competently directed by Stephen Frears, but the end result is a retelling that chronicles the moments without seeming entirely complete. This is a fine historical film that, while it doesn't stand up to Morgan's best work, sets the groundwork for what would later come.

Final Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Battle Royale: Kinji Fukasaku's adaptation of Koushun Takami's 1999 novel about a socialist Japan's program that pits students run amok against each other in kill-or-be-killed combat has scored more than its fair share of controversy, both in Japan and in the lack of distribution agreements in the United States. Beyond the controversy however, Fukasaku's film has a lot to enjoy both for people wanted to see a bloodbath and for those who want a film with social commentary. With surprisingly good acting and some well-shot action sequences, the film is satisfying on multiple levels and the unrelentingly brutal nature will appall but fascinate at the same time. While this film will certainly have its detractors due to the exploitive nature of the teen-on-teen violence, the end result is a powerful and violent piece of work that transcends its own brutality to something else.

Final Rating: 8.0 out of 10

F**k: A Documentary: Outlandish, informative and often hilarious, this documentary by Steve Anderson takes great lengths to explore the history and usage of one of the most infamous words in the English language. Interviews with everyone from Ice-T to Pat Boone abound and opinions are heard from all sides of the spectrum, though the filmmaker's intent is clearly to side with supporters of the word's usage. What elevates this film from silly fun to something greater is the use of the word's censorship to bring about a greater discussion on the freedom of speech, and while it never reaches the heights of the best documentaries made, it's certainly interesting and informative, as long as one is not offended by the record-breaking 857 uses of the expletive in question.

Final Rating: 7.5 out of 10

Dead Again: Kenneth Branagh's first American directorial effort, made immediately after his breakout success with Henry V, is a classy and stylish neo-noir film with some supernatural elements. Featuring Branagh and Emma Thompson turning in stellar performances as a couple whose past lives have brought them together to unravel the mystery of her identity, the film showed at the time that Branagh's promise as a filmmaker was not potential to be squandered, and it holds up today as an excellent film in its own right. While the climactic confrontation may seem a bit outlandish and loses some credibility, Branagh's excellent use of camera work and the excellent use of noir conventions make for an intriguing thriller, highlighted by what was at the time a major career turn for Robin Williams in a bit role toward more serious fare. He is fantastic here, and along with Andy Garcia complements the leads very well in what is a great and oft-overlooked film.

Final Rating: 8.5 out of 10

The Invincible Iron Man: Marvel may be more consistent in producing quality live-action adaptations of their films than rival DC, but when it comes to animated films they fall far short. The Invincible Iron Man is a good example of that. The film intended to be an animated origin story to introduce audiences to the character before the 2008 live-action film hit, but with a story that takes far too long to get involved, vague-at-best characterizations and virtually no explanation of the armor suits themselves, the story handicaps itself too early to become particularly good. While the story picks up about midway through, it never overcomes its shaky start and ends with a dull thud. Despite some good action sequences and decent voice acting by Marc Worden, Gwendoline Yeo, Rodney Saulsberry and Elisa Gabrielli the movie can't get off the ground and is an ultimately unrewarding experience.

Final Rating: 5.0 out of 10

Seed: Alternating between silly and repulsive, Seed is director Uwe Boll's masterpiece of bad taste and inept filmmaking. With the ridiculous set-up of a serial killer with 666 victims who is left for dead rather than be freed due to a supposed state law about surviving three jolts in the electric chair, Boll proceeds to make what is quite possibly his worst film yet. Lacking the "so bad it's good" camp of his video game adaptations, he instead arms himself with scenes of animal abuse supplied by PETA and a sense of pure nastiness that dwarfs even such ugly and artless films as Hostel and Captivity. Featuring awkward to laughable performances by the usual cast of Boll regulars (Michael Pare, Will Sanderson, Ralf Moeller) and draped in so much darkness that it makes Alien vs. Predator: Requiem look like a daylight film, Seed feels at times like Boll's most bitter moments put into cinematic form. It is disturbing, true…but without any sort of meaning beyond the brutality, and even that is clumsily shot by the infamous director. There isn't a moment to enjoy here for anyone, unless they enjoy watching animals being murdered and bodies decomposing in time-lapse photography.

Final Rating: 1.0 out of 10

---

The Hush-Hush Editorial Section: The Fall of Cinematic Empires

Halloween is almost upon us, ladies and gentlemen. That means that it's time for ghouls, goblins and horror sequels. And like clockwork, the latest in the Saw franchise was released this weekend. Amazingly, for the second year in a row it failed to take the #1 spot. Last year it fell to the out-of-nowhere success of High School Musical 3; this time around, it was the equally unexpected success of Paranormal Activity. Surprise hits aside, no one can deny that the sixth entry in the horror franchise is a drastic underperformer, bringing in a scant $14.8 million dollars. That must certainly give Lionsgate, who have already spent the last year and a half backing away from its horror roots, pause in regards to the seventh film which was to be filmed in 3D. While Saw VII will likely move forward due to the fact that even a sub-$15 million opening has earned back the film's budget, it got those of us here at Hush-Hush Headquarters thinking about films that have meant the death knell for profitable franchises…both in horror and without. So with that in mind, I present to you eight films that killed their respective franchise—or at the very least, crippled them or sent them into a serious downward spiral. Because as we know, nothing in Hollywood stays dead. It's like the Marvel Universe that way.

Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid



Franchise: Anaconda
Release Date: 8/27/2004
Starring: Johnny Messner, KaDee Strickland, Matthew Marsden
Directed By: Dwight H. Little
Domestic Gross: $32,238,923
Previous Film's Gross: $65,885,767
Plot: A scientific expedition sets out for the island of Borneo. They are in search of a flower named the Blood Orchid. Reports say that this flower can lead to a longer life. But what they find inhabiting the rainforest of Borneo are a group of anacondas. But they aren't ordinary... the Blood Orchid made the anacondas longer, faster, and smarter. Now the scientists must find a way out of the rainforest by outsmarting, outrunning and outliving the anacondas.
My Thoughts: 1997's jungle horror film Anaconda was a surprise hit, riding the wave of stardom found by lead actress Jennifer Lopez. While that film was critically panned, it found an audience and earned a fair chunk of change at the box office. Still, no one expected Hollywood to come out with a sequel. Never one to be expected to do the sensible thing though, Columbia Pictures soon started kicking around ideas for a second film. It would be seven years before the film would finally come out, and by that point the time had long passed and audiences had moved on. As cheesy as the first film was, Curse of the Blood Orchid was just terrible and the commercials, with an unknown cast and presenting the theory that if one big snake was scary, many would be more so, didn't help one bit. The plot was terrible, the acting was bad and this was a well-deserved bomb that found the film trumped by the United States debut of Hero. A straight-to-video sequel followed just last year, but the life had already been squeezed completely out of the franchise by then and it was just thrashing in its death coils.


Blade: Trinity



Franchise: Blade
Release Date: 12/8/2004
Starring: Wesley Snipes, Jessica Biel, Ryan Reynolds, Dominic Purcell
Directed By: David Goyer
Domestic Gross: $52,411,906
Previous Film's Gross: $82,348,319
Plot: Blade (Snipes) finds himself alone surrounded by enemies, fighting an uphill battle with the vampire nation and now humans. He joins forces with a group of vampire hunters whom call themselves the Nightstalkers. The vampire nation awakens the king of vampires Dracula (Purcell) from his slumber with intentions of using his primitive blood to become day-walkers. On the other side are Blade and his team, manifesting a virus that could wipe out the vampire race once and for all. In the end the two sides will collide and only one will come out victorious, a battle between the ultimate vampire whom never knew defeat, facing off against the greatest vampire slayer.
My Thoughts: The Blade films were never cinematic excellence, but at the very least the first two entertained and brought in a profit at the box office. The idea of a third one was inevitable after Blade II, the best of the series, had brought in more money than its predecessor. The problem with the third (and final) film in the franchise was that director David Goyer, who also penned the screenplay, decided to focus entirely too much on the Nightstalkers played by Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel and audiences rejected that. Of course, that's to say nothing of Dominic Purcell's terrible performance as Dracula or the well-known clashes between Goyer and Wesley Snipes over the script, which Snipes hated. This was the first time that Goyer would prove he was a better writer than he was a director, as he poorly choreographed fight scenes and generally butchered the story he himself had written. After this film audiences were clearly done with the series, and the eventual Spike TV series deservedly crashed and burned due to Blade-burnout.


The Crow: City of Angels



Franchise: The Crow
Release Date: 8/30/1996
Starring: Vincent Perez, Mia Kirshner, Richard Brooks, Iggy Pop
Directed By: Tim Pope
Domestic Gross: $17,917,287
Previous Film's Gross: $50,693,129
Plot: Some time ago, Ashe Corven (Perez) and his son Danny were killed when they stumbled across a pack of drug dealers murdering a fellow dealer. The dealers work for Los Angeles drug kingpin Judah Earl (Brooks). Local tattoo artist Sarah (Kirshner) has been having dreams about Ashe and Danny. One night when a crow leads her to the scene of the murders of Ashe and Danny, Ashe appears before her. The crow has resurrected Ashe, so Ashe can go after Judah and his right hand man Curve (Pop). With the guidance of the crow, Ashe starts killing off Judah's men one by one, on his way to Judah.
My Thoughts: Some attribute the box office success of The Crow to the unfortunate death of its star Brandon Lee on-set. Those people do the film a disservice, as Alex Proyas's gothic-punk revenge story was a brilliant piece of filmmaking without the need for any tragedies to find an audience. Miramax saw franchise potential here, and so they put David Goyer (yes, him again) to work writing a sequel. The film, City of Angels, started off very well and was heavy on atmosphere thanks to music video director Tim Pope, but every other part of it was a mess. The villains were even less likeable than the ones in the original film, and played with such an over-the-top zeal that they were caricatures. Foremost among them was Richard Brooks, who conjured exactly zero charisma and presence as Judah Earl. Additionally, audiences immediately picked up on the fact that this film betrayed Lee's memory in his last film, and they passed it almost totally by. The franchise would continue on for a few films, with Crow: Salvation and the abominable Wicked Prayer, but the luster was clearly gone already and it can be put squarely on the shoulders of this film.


The Golden Compass



Franchise: The Golden Compass
Release Date: 12/7/2007
Starring: Dakota Blue Richards, Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Sam Elliott, Eva Green
Directed By: Chris Weitz
Domestic Gross: $70,107,728
Previous Film's Gross: n/a
Plot: In a parallel world ruled by The Magisterium where people's souls have animal shapes, the orphan Lyra Belaqua (Richards) is educated in the Jordan College, and her uncle and Professor Lord Asriel (Craig) is her tutor. When her best friend Roger is kidnapped by the evil Gobblers, Lyra promises to rescue him. She is invited to go to the North with the influent Mrs. Coulter (Kidman) and the Jordan's Vice-Chancellor secretly gives her a magic golden compass capable of revealing the truth. When Lyra finds that Mrs. Coulter is the leader of the Gobblers, she escapes from her house and the runaway girl begins an amazing adventure in a war to save her friend and other missing children with her allied Gyptians, Witches and the strong Armored Bear Iorek Byrnison.
My Thoughts: Can a film be called a franchise-killer when it was the only one in the series? In The Golden Compass's case, yes. The movie was based on the first novel of the His Dark Materials trilogy and anyone seeing the film can clearly see that it was intended to be the first part of a greater series. Unfortunately for the studio, critical reception was lukewarm and audiences just didn't care. The Golden Compass proved to be a beautiful mess of a movie, with wasted good performances amidst a storyline that threw far too much at the young viewers it was hoping to capitalize on. This is a film that failed to capitalize on religious controversy the way many others have, and instead floundered at the box office domestically. Director Chris Weitz has since moved onto another young adult franchise, helming next month's Twilight: New Moon, and we'll have to see if he's learned his lesson.


Halloween: Resurrection



Franchise: Halloween
Release Date: 7/12/2002
Starring: Busta Rhymes, Bianca Kajlich, Tyra Banks, Jamie Lee Curtis
Directed By: Rick Rosenthal
Domestic Gross: $30,354,442
Previous Film's Gross: $55,041,738
Plot: Serial Killer Michael Myers is not finished with Laurie Strode (Curtis), and their rivalry finally comes to an end. But is this the last we see of Myers? Freddie Harris (Rhymes) and Nora Winston (Banks) are reality programmers at DangerTainment, and are planning to send a group of 6 thrill-seeking teenagers into the childhood home of Myers. Cameras are placed all over the house and no one can get out of the house... and then Michael arrives home.
My Thoughts: Halloween: Resurrection is not the lowest-grossing of the Michael Myers franchise—that (dis)honor belongs to the fifth entry in the series—but it is the most offensive to most fans of the franchise. Having found a revival in the series after Halloween: H20 did big business, Dimension wasted no time in getting the next chapter out. Or, at least, they tried to. What they failed to realize was that tossing an MTV-like spin on the series and casting people like Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks was going to do nothing to entice filmgoers. Rick Rosenthal of Halloween II returned to direct this film but added nothing of value, and the final climax audiences had of a Michael Myers movie before Rob Zombie's reimagining was Busta Rhymes saying "Trick or Treat, muthafucka!" before electrocuting the Shape. It came as no surprise to anyone that this would be the last we would hear of Michael for five years.


Hellraiser: Bloodline



Franchise: Hellraiser
Release Date: 3/8/1996
Starring: Bruce Ramsay, Valentina Vargas, Doug Bradley
Directed By: Kevin Yagher & Joe Chappelle
Domestic Gross: $9,336,886
Previous Film's Gross: $12,534,961
Plot: It's the year 2127. Pinhead (Bradley) has found himself on board a space station in outer space, run by scientist Dr. Merchant (Ramsay). Dr. Merchant's mission is to close the gates to hell forever because his ancestor, a toymaker in the 18th century, built the evil puzzle box that opens the gates to hell. And through the generations, the family of the bloodline has tried to stop it. But now, Dr. Merchant has built the reverse box that will close the gates to hell instead of opening it.
My Thoughts: The moral of this editorial appears to be "Don't make a sequel that includes a subtitle after a colon." The Hellraiser franchise never had the box office clout of Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers, but it struck a nerve with horror fans and was widely regarded as a great series of films based on the first two. When Dimension tried to hit it big with Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth the fans of the franchise were polarized but the film at least equaled the gross of the previous entry. Undaunted, the studio brought out Hellraiser: Bloodline. Featuring the bizarre and almost laughable idea of taking the cenobites into space, it is one of the infamous films to be directed by "Alan Smithee," aka a director so embarrassed that a pseudonym was used. Critics savaged it and audiences hated it, leaving the franchise to tail-spin into direct-to-video land where it has toiled ever sense.


Rambo III



Franchise: Rambo
Release Date: 5/25/1988
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna
Directed By: Peter MacDonald
Domestic Gross: $53,715,611
Previous Film's Gross: $150,415,432
Plot: John Rambo's (Stallone) former Vietnam superior, Colonel Samuel Trautman (Crenna), has been assigned to lead a mission to help the Mujahedeen rebels who are fighting the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, but the Buddhist Rambo turns down Trautman's request that Rambo help out. When the mission goes belly up and Trautman is kidnapped and tortured by the Russians, Rambo launches a rescue effort and allies himself with the Mujahedeen rebels to trying and rescue Trautman.
My Thoughts: A lot of the movies in this list were financial disappointments, but none so much as Rambo III. While the movie seems to have developed somewhat of a cult following in the years since its release, this was an absolute mess of a film upon its release that followed in a line of terrible Sylvester Stallone films (see: Cobra & Over the Top. While it did well overseas, audiences in America rejected the over-the-top action and anti-Soviet rhetoric and it failed to match its budget in domestic grosses. This was a major chink in Stallone's armor and a fourth film wouldn't come until last year, which was better on almost every level.


Star Trek: Nemesis



Franchise: Star Trek
Release Date: 12/13/2002
Starring: Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, Marina Sirtis, Michael Dorn
Directed By: Stuart Baird
Domestic Gross: $43,254,409
Previous Film's Gross: $70,187,658
Plot: On their way to Riker's (Frakes) and Troi's (Sirtis) honeymoon, the Enterprise is sent near the neutral zone to Romulan space, and picks up a prototypic twin of android Data (Spiner). Immediately they are further sent to Romulus, where a new praetor appears to want peace with the Federation. But then the crew detects a break-in on their computer systems, and Picard (Stewart) is captured by the Remans. Picard and the Enterprise can escape, only to find themselves battling Shinzon's completely cloaked Warbird, who is after the complete destruction of earth.
My Thoughts: I almost hate to consider this film a franchise-killer, for several reasons. First, I consider this, unlike most of the movies on this list, to be a somewhat underrated film. Additionally, the film was already being billed as the last voyage of the Next Generation crew. Still, Paramount was certainly hoping for more voyages, and the grosses on Nemesis were the lowest in the series history and critics decided it wasn't worth praising. Trek executive producer Rick Berman blamed competition, but even that excuse was weak considering it opened against comedies and dance films. The fact of the matter was that the series had grown far too long in the tooth. Luckily, Paramount saw it too and waited seven years before rebooting it, with the amazingly satisfying result of this summer's Star Trek.

And now, before we leave, it's time for the random video of the week! This week we have the second trailer for The Men Who Stare At Goats, which looks to be a hilarious little black CIA comedy. Check it out.



Until next week, this is Jeremy Thomas, off the record, on the QT…



…and definitely, "Hush Hush!"