The Big Screen Bulletin 11.09.09: The Worst Movies of the Alphabet (From T-#)
Posted by Chad Webb on 11.09.2009
The movies of the alphabet special comes full circle this week as the Bulletin finishes the worst of the list! Click here lots of blond men, including a certain pro-wrestling legend.
To view the first two portions of "The Worst Movies of the Alphabet", take a look at the following links:
I wanted to take some time and give a hearty solid to Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, Kevin Murphy, and anyone else involved with Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, who puts up with so many bad movies. Those three guys have influenced a generation of filmgoers so waste their lives on flicks they shouldn't. But I mean that in a good way. Even though I elected to leave out MST3K titles, the show does deserve some praise here as when you think of the worst movies on any list, you think of stuff showcased there.
On the other side of the spectrum, there are another set of films I decided to leave out, and until now I haven't mentioned them. No one complained about any title from this company yet, so I guess it didn't matter. "The Asylum" is the company that makes all those blatant rip-offs to the popular blockbusters. They have been labeled "mockbusters" by the media. Movies like Transmorphers, King of the Lost World, and Snakes on a Train are just a few. The rip-off I selected for "Z" (see below) is not from this company. I have seen a few of these movies, and they are all equally terrible. If I used one, it would have been a slippery slope where I could have used all of them, and cluttering the list with Asylum films would not have been very much fun. They have bludgeoned the world with nearly 30 of these mockbusters, and for that they deserve the middle finger.
...and on with the list!
T is for…
Teenage Caveman
Teenage Caveman
Directed By: Larry Clark Written By: Christos N. Gage Starring: Andrew Keegan, Tara Subkoff, and Richard Hillman Release Date: July 2, 2002 The Plot: Teens encounter people, who, after being used as guinea pigs for the experimental testing of a virus can live forever in a post apocalyptic world.
I never thought I'd complain about gratuitous nudity and profanity in a movie, but if anyone needed to see how it can be used in an excruciating manner, they should look no further than this remake to the 1958 film. According to IMDB, this aired on television, but I shudder to think about that version, where nudity was edited out and the profanity was changed. The movie would have been like 10 minutes long, and I really mean that. Director Larry Clark and Christos Gage substitute a swear word or a nudity shot for actual plot development, dialogue, and character interaction. Since this occurs all the time, the film is unbearable. Toss into that Andrew Keegan, who is atrocious as an actor, and Richard Hillman, whose very face you want to punch. When he speaks, it is worse. The girls and guys are annoying and not all that attractive, so when they are nude you have little reaction. I would be shocked if someone told me the nudity and sex in this movie turned them on. Also, we never really deal with one caveman, and whether he is a teenager is debatable. Since this is multiple cave people, the title makes no sense.
Neil and Judith, the couple who mysteriously saves the cave people from a sand storm, mutate into something which is unclear, so we really don't know why we are supposed to care. They are immortal and can mutate. O...k... The trajectory of the story is just so incredibly horrific, unbalanced, and incoherent. Kids play around, have sex, drink, do drugs, and then get killed. Nothing even remotely intriguing happens, and I wanted to destroy the DVD, but it was from Netflix, so I held back. I wouldn't want to stop others from enduring this like I have right? They even have a line that compares what is happening to a B-movie, which is just lame. Clark doesn't have a plot, he barely has an idea. This is utter junk, pure and simple.
There have been B-movies that rely on nudity with a thin plot that I have enjoyed. Many starring Shannon Whirry and Julie Strain spring to mind. This is the most blatant example of a director thinking "The hell with a story, I just want to see everyone naked. The audience will too." It's kind of creepy when you think about the production, but what else could have happened? When you watch it, you'll understand.
U is for…
Unaccompanied Minors
Unaccompanied Minors
Directed By: Paul Feig Written By: Jacob Meszaros and Mya Stark Starring: Lewis Black, Wilmer Valderrama, Tyler James Williams, and Dyllan Christopher Release Date: December 8, 2006 The Plot: A group of unaccompanied minors bond while snowed in at the midwestern Hoover International Airport during the holiday season and ultimately create a makeshift holiday themselves.
Though Uncle Sam was certainly a sub-par effort, once I saw Unaccompanied Minors, my mind was made up on the choice for "U." This is another instance where a relatively new film is highlighted, but it just happens to turn out that way. This decade has produced some spectacularly bad movies that overwhelm the older bad ones. Unaccompanied Minors deserves to be here not because the gags don't work, or because the acting is horrible. Those are valid reasons, but this movie made me angry because of how it portrays divorced families. I come from a divorced family myself, so I got truly enraged when I observed that according to this film, divorced parents could care less about their kids being stuck in an airport. Furthermore, when you are a child from a divorced family, you will act like a delinquent. These are lessons Unaccompanied Minors teaches us. The kids from ordinary families are sent to a comfortable lodge because apparently they acted like good little boys and girls.
Again, since this is a family feature, people tend to think the acting deserves a pass. You will not find any kindness from me. Tyler James Williams, the boy who would eventually star in Everybody Hates Chris is grating to watch. His every move is a desperate attempt for uproarious laughter, and it gets old within seconds. The rest of the kids fall so far deep into the pit of mindless clichés and aggressively awful dialogue, that none of them are tolerable. Every kid character is portrayed as corny, unlikable, and overly bizarre. The adults are ridiculously cruel from start to finish, which is retarded. They are dealing with kids, but chase them as if they are on the FBI's Most Wanted List. We have a canoe chase from the airport to the aforementioned lodge, which gives eye-rolling a new meaning. A quiet fat kid trades his Aquaman action figure for a full size Christmas tree. One girl lives 20 minutes away, but stays at the airport to get chased around by security. The most glaring problem is the inclusion of comedian Lewis Black. I am a huge fan, and instead of capitalizing on his rant style comedy, they toss him in a one-dimensional villain role and make him look silly.
This wants to be Home Alone, only without interesting villains and without a likable star, what you have are a series of dumb gags that aren't funny and have no heart behind them. On top of all this, I had to put up with Rob Corddry, one of the unfunniest people on the planet. Just because a movie is aimed at kids and families, does not mean every flaw can be dismissed. This is an example of how undeniably bad a family film can be.
V is for…
Voodoo Academy
Voodoo Academy
Directed By: David DeCoteau Written By: Eric Black Starring: Debra Mayer, Riley Smith, and Chad Burris Release Date: September 26, 2000 The Plot: Young Christopher has just enrolled at the prestigious Carmichael Bible College, managed by the somewhat unusual Mrs. Bouvier. After some unexplained disappearances, Christopher does some exploring and discovers that Mrs. Bouvier and the Reverend Carmichael have some very unwholesome intentions for the young men of their school. Will Christopher graduate with his body and soul intact?
Lewis Black said it best: "It's beyond gay. It's in a realm gayer than gay. It has a gayosity that is beyond gayness." Easily among the top 3 worst films I have ever seen in my life is Voodoo Academy. I acquired this through Netflix, and when I received it, I took a gander at the envelope and disc sleeve. The running time said 3 hours, and I began to cry a little. Knowing the plot of this movie, how on Earth could it be this long? What scared me more was that this was labeled the "Extended Director's Cut" because apparently there was such avid backlash for that original cut. Mercifully, it was a typo as this is only 90 minutes, however, it is 60 minutes too long. You see, at least an hour of this film is spent watching white college guys rubbing themselves in boxer briefs. That is not an exaggeration. They are having nightmares, and they rub themselves incessantly, and we watch in utter disbelief. Every one of these characters reminds of you of people that got beat up in school. If you thought Brokeback Mountain was too much, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Elsewhere we see boys splashing each other with bathtub water, walking around in towels, and lifting 2 1/2 pound weights shirtless. These guys are straight by the way, and that also, is not a joke.
The storyline is inexplicably asinine. I have seen the entire picture, including the "twist" at the end, and I still am not sure what the hell was going on. This is 90 minutes of my life that is gone. It will not return to me. I must confess someday that I spent 90 minutes watching Voodoo Academy. Hopefully all copies will have been burned by that point. The acting is dreadful on a level I never knew existed. Some of the cast members have been in mainstream films. Riley Smith is the star, but he and Huntley Ritter were both in Bring it On. How this film ever helped them get any jobs is beyond me. Debra Mayer plays Ms. Bouvier, and her goal is to transfer the bodies of these boys into voodoo dolls. You actually see their heads on the dolls while strobe lights flicker above in one of the lamest and poorest excuses for special effects in history. Chad Burris is Reverend Carmichael, and every line he is given is clumsy, ham-fisted, and deadly dull mush about his religious beliefs and what he plans to teach. I honestly wasn't positive I could make it through till the end. I felt like a gnat could have broken Burris' tremendous concentration on saying the lines with a straight face. This was his 2nd ever role. You can tell. Ms. Bouvier also rattles on about a husband who died and some odd scientific discoveries he made, which gives them the excuse to say pouring wine on half-naked boys equates to something voodoo related.
One of the reasons for this special Big Screen Bulletin was to warn people about some of these films, to help them. Please, see this movie. I want others to feel the pain I did when I watched this. Director David DeCoteau has been making films since the mid-80's. Most of his efforts, including this one, are Direct-to-DVD, but this makes other DTV releases seem like they deserve spots on AFI lists. Did he say anything to the actors, or did he just hand them the script and say "I plan on shooting at 8:00AM. Be there or be square."? Should we let him get away with this atrocity? I say no.
W is for…
Who's Your Caddy?
Who's Your Caddy?
Directed By: Don Michael Paul Written By: Don Michael Paul, Bradley Allenstein, and Robert Henny Starring: Big Boi, Faizon Love, and Jeffrey Jones Release Date: July 27, 2007 The Plot: When a rap mogul from Atlanta tries to join a conservative country club in the Carolinas he runs into fierce opposition from the board President- but it's nothing that he and his entourage can't handle.
Ladies and gentleman, this was a first ever for yours truly. I have never had this experience before watching Who's Your Caddy?. This is a movie that made me physically ill. Within 5 minutes, I wanted to turn it off. Not only are the black characters racial stereotypes, but almost immediately, this movie goes out of its way to make fun of white people. All the violence that occurs in the story happens to white people. The goal of the black characters is to take the two white kids they like, and make them act and dress like they do. I found a lot of what transpired to be very offensive. In my opinion, it steps over the line. Unfortunately, I had to put up with this steaming pile of trash, about how the rich white guy is keeping the black man down. This type of story has been done before, but here the black man is wealthier than the white man, and what he wants is to be a member of a strict country club. He says his father, who was once a caddy there, holds the course record, but that the owner cheated and lied. Really? Wow.
The lead is none other than Big Boi from the rap group Outkast. I love their music, and in fact, own all their albums. This movie makes me re-think those purchases. Big Boi is more in love with himself than any other musician I have ever laid eyes on. He basically plays himself here, but never seems to be motivated by anything but his own charisma and money. Jeffrey Jones, known sex offender in real life, is the owner of the country club, and his character actually hires two black midgets to "get rid of" Big Boi (known as C-Note here). They try to blow him up. Jones is playing the Principal from Ferris Beuller, but with a different name. You also have Faizon Love bragging about the size of his penis to a white guy. We must watch Faizon Love dance naked as he does this. Later, Love tries to act like he is farting when the horribly edited sound effect plays. Love also knocks Jones into a pile of horse dung. Does this sound like something you would want to watch? Maybe the insertion of James Avery from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air), Lil Wayne, or Andy Milonakis will change your mind.
This movie was co-written and directed by Don Michael Paul, a white man. Is that possible? When I saw this, I was floored. Did he think it was funny? Was there actually a script, or did he just let the actors improvise most of the "humor?" These are rhetorical questions. This was not funny, not engaging, and nothing like Caddyshack, which was obviously the intention. It wants to use racism as a reason to makes jokes against white people. I hated this. HATED IT!
X is for…
XXX: State of the Union
XXX: State of the Union
Directed By: Lee Tamahori Written By: Simon Kinberg Starring: Ice Cube, Samuel L. Jackson, and Willem Dafoe Release Date: April 29, 2005 The Plot: Darius Stone, a new agent in the XXX program, is sent to Washington, DC to defuse a power struggle amongst national leaders.
I have had the idea for a "Best and Worst Movies of the Alphabet" for many years now, and way back when the idea first occurred to me, I thought about how much fun it would be to bash Xanadu, one of the worst musicals ever. My dreams were crushed when I saw XXX: State of the Union, the sequel to the dumb action vehicle for Vin Diesel. It is worse than Xanadu, I must admit, but it was hard to come to grips with this. The cast, crew, and studio were evidently bitter about the departure of Vin Diesel, as the script reminds us every 5 minutes that Xander is dead, and not coming back. That didn't stop them from welcoming him back for XXX: The Return of Xander Cage. This sequel was directed by Lee Tamahori, the definition of a sell out. He ruined the Bond franchise and forced a reboot with Die Another Day, and we haven't seen another Alex Cross mystery since his Along Came a Spider. If not for Diesel realizing he should not have left, Tamahori would have killed this franchise as well. I wish he would have. Both movies want to be Bond, but only on the surface. When it comes to crafting a fun storyline or cool action, no one has a clue.
Now, I could buy Vin Diesel as a criminal who loved extreme sports and was recruited to be a secret agent. He had the look. But what I cannot buy is Ice Cube as his replacement. Ice Cube is a fine actor…in suitable roles. As an action hero, he is a train wreck. Samuel L. Jackson reprises his role, but phones it in. Cube is Darius Stone, a former special soldier that hit a superior officer and goes to jail because of it. He is busted out for a mission. This mission is to prevent Willem Dafoe from using troops to overthrow the President and his cabinet. What is Ice Cube's solution?: To call his friends from the hood and wage war at the Capitol. Yes, instead of soldiers, he calls random thugs from the hood to face our military. Sure. In addition, XXX: Sate of the Union contains a car chase scene that is the opposite of William Friedkin's in The French Connection. The video above is that scene. FYI, I was not the person to label it "Best Scene." Ice Cube uses a sports car and catches a bullet train in one of the worst uses of CGI in history. In fact, all the computer effects here are abominable. The amount of ludicrous situations XXX escapes from unscathed is just mind-blowing.
At the end of this movie the President quotes Tupac, and although Tupac has unleashed some very moving and poetic lyrics, watching the actor attempt to deliver this line seriously is like listening to "Mmmbop" by Hanson for 24 hours straight. Ok, maybe that is an exaggeration, but a good one. Lee Tamahori proves that he can reach higher heights of absurdity in an action film than anyone on the planet. I will now pray that Tamahori and action are never mentioned in the same sentence again.
Y is for…
Yor: The Hunter from the Future
Yor: The Hunter from the Future
Directed By: Antonio Margheriti Written By: Antonio Margheriti and Robert D. Bailey Starring: Reb Brown, Corinne Clery, and Luciano Pigozzi Release Date: August 19, 1983 The Plot: Yor, an extremely blond prehistoric warrior, comes to question his origins, particularly with regard to a mysterious medallion he wears. When he learns of a desert goddess who supposedly wears the same medallion, Yor decides that he must find her and learn his true identity. Along the way, he encounters ape-men, dinosaurs, and a strange futuristic society.
There is only one good thing about this prehistoric/futuristic sci-fi disaster: the opening theme, performed by some group calling themselves "Oliver Onions." It sounds like awesomely bad 80's rock. Sadly the rest is junk. During this theme that is enjoyable, a blond-haired man runs down a hill. He is so blond that Scarlett Johansson is envious. This is our Yor, and he is played by Reb Brown, who has the distinction of being the first person to portray a live-action Captain America, in two made-for-TV films in 1979. I have seen too many Reb Brown movies, and that is a problem I need to seek help for. This boring and hackneyed flick is a series of damsel in distress rescues. Yor meets a girl who instantly falls in love with him, and they are attacked, either by cavemen that look like they were fired from Planet of the Apes, hooded sand mummies, or black robots that look like Darth Vader. In one unintentionally hilarious sequence, he shoots a vicious pterodactyl, punches it into submission, and tears off its wings so he can fly with them. Oh yeah.
The biggest mistake is in the title, which gives away the twist in a roundabout sort of way. Towards the end, the screenplay gets preachy and moves from trying to rip off Planet of the Apes to stealing elements from Star Wars. Yor and his race of people all carry medallions that record their lives. For some reason, his race elected a man named Overlord to lead, and gave him a bigger medallion. This is a no-no. They also babble on about daughters of the Gods and coming to Earth on a tongue of fire. I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine. It makes little sense. The fight scenes are just scary bad. Yor swings and visibly misses many of the creatures and goons, yet they fall down. He also uses an axe to do this, which makes a sound effect as if he was using a giant sledgehammer. Your mind will do backflips trying to put the sounds and actions together. No one knows anything about Yor, but eventually someone says he comes from an island with castles surrounded by storms, and instantly they know where this is. You'd think they would try the land with castles right away. That sounds pretty memorable.
This Italian B-movie was directed by Antonio Margheriti, and is based on a graphic novel by Ray Collins and Juan Zanotto. A handful of scenes are "so bad, they're good", but not nearly enough. Mostly this is just a tedious and lousy imitation of better films. So many questions are raised but never answered, and all they want to show us is Yor being blond and fending off female admirers. No thanks.
Z is for…
Zodiac Killer
Zodiac Killer
Directed By: Ulli Lommel Written By: Ulli Lommel Starring: Vladimir Maksic, Ulli Lommel, and Peter Beckman Release Date: July 19, 2005 The Plot: A young man who works at a nursing home uses the legendary Zodiac killer's M.O. to kill people who neglect their elderly relatives.
Words can't describe how truly terminally appalling this movie is. Of course it wanted people to rent it assuming it was the David Fincher film, but that is a mild offense compared to the acting, direction, editing, narration, and ummm….anything else you can think of concerning the making of a movie. The video above contains no clips of the actual story, only the crummy stock footage that is integrated into the final cut to add 20 minutes. This shit, yes shit, I'll swear for this one, is only 83 minutes long, but it feels like an eternity in damnation. This zodiac copycat killer is wasting folks because they don't treat the elderly properly. Wow, is that the best motive they could think of? They also offer a solution to the identity of the real zodiac killer. Here, a group of hooded figures convene and discuss who needs killing. How do the hooded figures enter the room without seeing each other, and if they do know who each other is in real life, why do they stay hooded for the meetings? One would think that a group of hooded guys talking and entering a conference room would raise eyebrows. Oh well.
Vladimir Maksic plays Michael Cosnick, the copycat, and Maksic has the charisma and performing skills of a cardboard box. He also has a haircut similar to that of Mike Judge's Butthead character, which cannot get him many dates. No one has a clue who is committing the crimes, and the inept cops assume the real zodiac has returned. Cosnick purchases nerve gas, which is then used, but apparently the guy who sold it to him didn't think to put two and two together, or warn the cops. Ulli Lommel, the writer and director, stars as Simon Vale, and clearly, no script was in place prior to making this. The number of "awkward silence" moments when he and Cosnick are together is shocking. The kill scenes could have been edited by a 6-month-old baby. The blood looks suspiciously like grape juice, and in one scene we watch the killer eat a pizza. That's it, he eats a pizza, and we watch. They also throw in a sub-plot about a vampire killer? Calling this a thriller is indeed a compliment as watching Oliver Stone's Alexander four times in a row would be more thrilling than this.
I'm all for a solid low budget movie, even a bad B-movie once in awhile, but this is in another league. Because the masses went to see a movie called The Boogeyman (the original 1980 version), Ulli Lommel's career was able to continue. Calling this movie amateur is a compliment. Calling this a movie is a compliment. Even thinking about this movie for more than a few seconds is a compliment. You get the idea. This is beyond shit. It does not deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with shit. While I viewed this, I had my cat scratch my eyes, which was significantly more enjoyable.
# is for…
3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain
3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain
Directed By: Sean McNamara Written By: Sean McNamara Starring: Hulk Hogan, Loni Anderson, and Jim Varney Release Date: April 10, 1998 The Plot: Three young boys, Rocky, Colt and Tum Tum together with their neighbor girl, computer whiz Amanda, are visiting Mega Mountain amusement park when it is invaded by an army of ninjas led by evil Medusa, who wants to take over the park and hold the owners for ransom. Kids and retired TV star Dave Dragon, who made his farewell appearance at the park at the time the ninjas appeared, have to break Medusa's vicious plans.
Well, Hulk Hogan was bound to show up sooner or later, right? I must confess, I enjoyed the original 3 Ninjas when I was a kid. I regret this now. Some of the cinematic memories of my youth are still positive, but that is one where I wish I slapped my younger self. As terrible as that was, the film was successful enough to spawn 3 sequels. Now, I have seen quite a few bad ninja movies, but this takes the cake, and perhaps a few more cakes after that. The recasting of the 3 children is absolutely ridiculous. The first trio had brown and black hair colors. Now, 2 of them are blonde, one has a pony tail, and they have gotten younger by the looks of it. They yell "hi-yah!" as a means of convincing us they have skills. The louder the better it seems. I was also amazed that this franchise still has Alan McRae and Jessica Douglas as their parents, and Victor Wong as the grandfather. The fact that they all returned 3 times makes me wonder about the intelligence of their agents. For this adventure, the ninjas travel to an amusement park, and a group of criminals take over the park and demand money. If not, they will do some sort of harm to the visitors using their control over the rides. How dumb would you be to take over a theme park for money? Aren't there a million better places than a theme park?
Among the performers at this theme park is Dave Dragon, a celebrity who had a long run with his hit show, but it was cancelled. Dave Dragon is portrayed by Hulk Hogan, during his post-steroid phase, which is quite obvious. Everytime Dave Dragon appears, we must listen to his irritating theme song. Dave Dragon is the most wimpy and depressing hero in history. Why the kids could look up to him is a question I wish was answered. What a dork. The trio has a girl along with them named Amanda. Her dad works at a special effects company, and apparently makes weapons there. He gives them to his daughter as toys. Gee, I wish my father gave me throwing stars and other deadly weapons to play with. Amanda is also a computer hacker, and I'm sure one the characters in Hackers would have recruited her. Since violence on children would be too harsh for a movie rated PG, all the threats the villains employ are dumb and transparent. Hogan's stunt double looks nothing like him save for some blond hair, and any fool would realize it is not him since Hogan hasn't moved that quickly since the 1970's.
The villains have names like Zed, Beulow, and Big Dog. Jim Varney and Loni Anderson are the lead baddies. Varney looks as if he doesn't want to be there, and Anderson just shakes her boobs. She also gives a Vulcan nerve pinch in one scene. Gosh, I wish I could write more about how bad this is. So many scenes merit explanation. Hogan did not have many solid flicks, but this makes No Holds Barred and Shadow Warriors look Oscar worthy.
Dishonorable Mention
The Trial of Billy Jack
Tomcats
Uncle Sam
Ultraviolet
Wild Wild West
Witless Protection
Xanadu
The Final List
A is for… A*P*E
B is for…Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000
C is for… Car 54, Where Are You?
D is for… Disaster Movie
E is for …Envy
F is for … From Justin to Kelly
G is for … Glitter
H is for … House of the Dead
I is for … It's Pat: The Movie
J is for … Jaws: The Revenge
K is for … Kazaam
L is for … Leonard Part 6
M is for …Meet the Deedles
N is for … A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell
O is for … Oasis of the Zombies
P is for … Plan 9 from Outer Space
Q is for … Queen of the Damned
R is for … Rhinestone
S is for … Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
T is for … Teenage Caveman
U is for ... Unaccompanied Minors
V is for … Voodoo Academy
W is for … Who's Your Caddy?
X is for … XXX: State of the Union
Y is for … Yor: The Hunter from the Future
Z is for … Zodiac Killer
…and # is for … 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain
Closing Statements
Well, the list is over, and I am proud of what I've done here. It will take me awhile to recover from seeing so many bad movies though, not to mention the ones I watched that did not make the list. Some ended up as dishonorable mentions, but I had to watch them to make sure my picks were good ones. I would have picked a 2nd and 3rd place for each letter, but to be truthful, many of the letters make this impossible, and if I can't do it for all of them, it's not worth it. I hope that you all had fun reading this. Tune in next week for the final Big Screen Bulletin from yours truly. It will be a nice farewell. Also make sure to check out my new columns, the first of which is called "Nether Regions." I used it as a segment of the Bulletin, but I wanted to expand it into a full length column. It will focus on out of print movies.
Back when I would watch any and all horror on my video shelves, I had the misfortune of seeing "Uncle Sam". What a piece of trash that was. Of course I should have expected it from the tagline: "Uncle Sam Wants you...DEAD"
Posted By: Joseph Lee (Registered) on November 09, 2009 at 12:41 AM
Back when I would watch any and all horror on my video shelves, I had the misfortune of seeing "Uncle Sam". What a piece of trash that was. Of course I should have expected it from the tagline: "Uncle Sam Wants you...DEAD"
Posted By: Joseph Lee (Registered) on November 09, 2009 at 12:41 AM
shame i never read the tagline,could have saved myself 6 dollars
Posted By: melissa (Guest) on November 09, 2009 at 06:51 AM
Yor was awesome...too bad they did not franchise the series like Deathstalker..
Posted By: Eric (Guest) on November 09, 2009 at 08:14 AM
Watch Vampires vs. Zombies, it could cause you to re-think your choice for V.
Posted By: Todd Vote (Registered) on November 09, 2009 at 10:55 AM
I actually own Uncle Sam on VHS. Curse you Tower Records and your dollar bins!!!!!
Posted By: APrince66 (Guest) on November 09, 2009 at 12:38 PM
The original 3 Ninjas is a classic. You have nothing to be a ashamed of.
Posted By: MBD (Guest) on November 09, 2009 at 01:09 PM
What? Really you put XXX STate of the Union on here? obviously this is a personal list cause there are much worse films out there...
and as far as Yor the hunter from the future goes.....absolute classic! the soundtrack alone makes it ultra kick ass! that and the fact that REb Brown played captain america back in the day and no one they find will be a better fit!
Posted By: MadLIberator (Guest) on November 09, 2009 at 04:52 PM
How dare you put anything beside Zoolander as the worst film starting with "Z"?
Shame, much shame for this oversight.
Posted By: Last_Rider (Guest) on November 09, 2009 at 10:24 PM
