Ghost Hunters Recap Episode 5.21: New Hampshire Gothic

Posted by Ron Martin on 11.11.2009

This week TAPS is on the trail of a ghost cat. If you've ever wanted to hear Jason utter the words "cat urine" now is your chance. Ghost Hunters Academy is proving to have a very welcome side effect on Ghost Hunters...in the form of new investigators.

Here we are and I have absolutely no news today to get me past the ad on the right.

I guess the new Ghost Academy that starts tonight is kind of news. I say kind of because short of the Mighty Joe Chin making a special guest appearance, I doubt my eyes are ever exposed to this show.

Instead I will take this time to complain about Destination Truth whose season just wrapped. Why, Josh, why? Almost every single episode had tantalizing evidence that was deemed impossible to make a judgment call on. Here's an idea: if you're chasing something that can really only be a Yeti and you're literally yards away from it. Stay another night! Stay more than the time it takes you to travel to each location. Just an idea guys. I won't even charge you for it!

Hope I got past the ad. If I didn't, I apologize to the company that paid for said ad.

Regardless, it's time for your weekly dose of…



On this episode of Ghost Hunters
I bet there will be a fistbump at some point. There's like a 2 second commercial for a Syfy Original movie -- Ice Twisters!. Got to watch it. TAPS is back home in New England which will make Jason happy. The announcer makes a big deal about something that may be nothing. In Florida, Jason doesn't even have fun when in Disney World.

Grant is all talkie, talkie, talkie. Jason is all whatever. Kris is all "I'm going to talk and drive at the same time." Is this legal in New England? By the way, there is a really funny video about Kris's perceived enhancements on youtube. You can figure out what to type in I am sure. I still take no opinion, because really, it's never going to effect me.

Case #1: Amos Blake House, Fitzwilliam, New Hampshire

The Investigation
Terri is our host for the night. She is already convinced the ghosts exist in the house. Amos Blake was the man in the town back in the day. There is a ghost boy that may or may not be Mr. Blake. My best guess is not. There is a phantom cat that may or may not be Mr. Blake. My best guess is not. Jason and Grant are taking mental notes to totally steal decorating ideas for the Spalding Inn. There is a lot of activity in the children's room. So much that they have to bring in other witnesses to tell us about it. Things like to move in the window and open doors, which both seem to be common pastime of those who have passed into the other realm. Jason is looking slim and trim these days. Maybe it's bright orange jacket. He is the only man in the known universe who looks good in bright orange?

LIGHTS OUT! Ladies night.

Alpha Team is on the main floor. Jason attitude level is probably about 7 because he could get home to sleep in his own bed should he choose, but it would take a drive. They are trying to debunk some stuff. I know this because Grant takes a couple of seconds to cut away from the screen and tell me so. They are getting high EMFs and assume it's the ghost boy who may or may not be Mr. Blake. Jason dismisses the readings. These guys seem to be in a bad mood tonight. Maybe the Halloween party at the Spalding wasn't a sellout?

Clown Team is in the bedroom. Odd, we get two segments before commercial. Why is nobody saying "What the hell?" Steve complements the ghost on his choice of home. On behalf of the ghost, I say thank you – what are all those weird markings on your arms? Ah! We finally get a "Did you see that?" and cue the…

COMMERCIALS. They've edited this Ghost Academy footage to make Steve look like some hardass. This is the guy who makes actual human remains sing songs, just remember that.

Tango and the Hardass are still in the bedroom when the door that sometimes opens on it's own, opened on it's owned. Steve says it's pretty cool – his words, not mine. The latch on the door looks kind of loose like anything could set it off. They re-enact the same movement and the door opens again. The pressure on the floorboard pops the door open. That's actually some nice debunking.

Alpha Team denies Chick Team screen time by going into the children's room. The girls were probably in there and they kicked them out. Jason tries the old flashlight trick. They are talking in babytalk voices. I imagine this is how they really talk to Steve off camera before investigations. Grant tells ghost kid if he turns the flashlight on he wins the game. The flashlight comes on. Amazingly, Jason asks the kid if it was him. No, Jason, it was King Kong Bundy when you had your back turned. Grant says it could have been a coincidence because I guess flashlights in New England just turn on all by themselves all the time. As a prize for winning, the ghost kid gets Grant's clapping. Now they are trying to get the kid to move some little tractor like thing across the floor. The kid has had enough, so they bail.

Chick Team is in the kitchen where Kris is schooling Amy once again this week. Maybe she should be using the babytalk voice and she wouldn't have to keep telling Amy what's going on. Fish is brain food. Amy begins to talk, but the show is so haunted that it flips in and out before a discussion on why the sleigh bells are jingling. The sleigh bells are above a vent. Okay, I didn't want to comment on it, but Kris is wearing a boob shirt and I think I'm now firmly standing on the side of she made some plastic surgeon in Rhode Island a little bit richer. They're setting up the DV. I know this because Amy's head is taking up the whole screen. Someone says "What is that?" I'm confused, but I do know that means….

COMMERCIALS.

Kris takes a confessional to tell us what she is doing, which normally I would make fun of, but the sound a some thump distracts me. They check the tape immediately. It's a pitch fork that slid down a wall. Kris then utters the lines that have killed many a career "We thought the best thing we could do was get Steve and Tango involved." I have nightmares about those words. They just watch the video and Steve says "Holy cow" without the explanation point. They are saying it's unnatural, but it just looks like something that was leaning against a wall fell over. If that's supernatural than I have the most haunted house ever built. They make a big deal about sticking around and checking the area out further like any other ghost team would do without thinking twice about it. Kris says "that was exciting" with all the enthusiasm of a high school kid who just got a pop quiz.

Alpha Team is headed to the basement. Here's a clip of the incredible dialogue Ghost Hunters is known for.

Jason: Want to head down to the basement?
Grant: Yeah.

Grant Voiceover: Jay and I decided to head down to the basement.

Instead of ghosts, Jason decides he is on the hunt for cat urine. He is successful. He is not so successful catching the cat urine on the thermal. Something is in the basement with them and they assume it's a cat, but there is nothing on the thermal. There is an audible purring sound, which Grant in a confessional tells us was a purring sound. Jason wants to bring in his dogs to eat the cat because he's in a bad mood.

The Findings
Second week in a row that they skip the Analysis in favor of the Findings. I know someone on the production team is just screwing with me. Once again, Amy is not invited to The Findings because as newest member of the team, she has to wash all the cars. They get an EVP of a cat's meow, which is actually kind of cool with the rest of their evidence. The pitchfork evidence is triggered by a chain coming loose and hitting some pipes near the pitchfork. They are amazed by this. I am not.

The Reveal
They start off with K-II crap. Oy! Then they move to all the phantom cat stuff from the basement, including the purr. They use the production tape for the purr, which is interesting because it means they didn't get it on their own equipment. Now the flashlight segment. It's amazing that they are willing to be suspicious about the flashlight, but not at all about the pitchfork. I hear the meow this time on the EVP. Terri has an emotional reaction to a chain coming loose, hitting some pipes and pulling a pitchfork down. Jason makes it a point that like everything else in the last year, they are not claiming anything is paranormal, because then they could be proven wrong. Like every other show since last year's Halloween episode, they don't have enough evidence to declare it either haunted or not haunted. Grant is honored to investigate.

Terri is very pleased with the evidence and it confirms her suspicions.

Cartalk. Good job like usual, brother. Fistbump.

Case #2: Arbona Building, Pensacola, Florida

Travelling to Florida on the road package. No Clown Team as they are off filming Ghost Academy. We get Dustin? Yes! Britt? Yes! This investigation just got 100% better. Maybe on this investigation, Amy from California will not always look cold. Kris is sporting a French braid, I think for the first time I can remember. Hostile takeover, Dustin! Hostile Takeover!

The Investigation
I'm interesting in the team matchups as they usually like to pair Britt with Amy. Dustin gets to go on the tour with Wendi. I would say it's because he's used to the walkthrough from GHI, but I think it's because he has matching cargo pants with Alpha Team. Wendi literally has ghost breathing down her neck. LITERALLY! Interesting enough, Wendi has books stacked some mornings. That's poltergeist activity, baby! Ooh, we get pictures that have been blurred out. The ghosts are getting out of control. They are trying to purse snatch visitors.

They decide to go with the one team at a time strategy since the building is kind of small.

Dustin gets the scene that shall not be named and a piece of my heart dies. Et Tu, Dustin?!
.
LIGHTS OUT! Girls Night. 18 minutes left.

Chick Team is upstairs and they are trying to recreate the bagsnatching ghosts so Kris is toting the purse. This is enough to get a loud bang from somewhere which leads us to "What the hell was that?" which leads us to…

COMMERCIALS.

We're back and Kris is convinced the ghost is playing games with them which causes her to spout off TAPS Company Line #43 and give way to…

Alpha Team is in the reception area trying to debunk the stacking books. If the books fall off the bookcase, they fall in the right spot but do not stack. Jason is convinced the way the building is set up is perfect for seeing shadows that aren't there. A lot of reflective surfaces because everyone who works there is vain. They go upstairs for an EVP session. They use the K-II as a means for communication. For the first time in the history of the show the K-II GETS NOTHING! I'm sorry, I need to recover. The good news is that the K-II has it's own camera angle now. My life is complete.

Team Outsiders are in the main gallery. For those who are wondering, Dustin, the Paranormal Rock Star's hair is spikier than ever. He should be the hero of a Final Fantasy game Britt gives the ghost permission to move the books, to stack the books, to whisper names and such. It wasn't all Britt, but I didn't want to stop and put "Dustin says…" I know. Dustin knows. Joe Chin know. That is enough.

WRAP UP.

.The Analysis
TAPS puts Dustin in his place by letting him know that GHI co-lead investigator is barely good enough to do analysis on the A Show. Dustin says this is the first time Analysis has ever been done without Steve. I can not confirm or deny this. Ah! I sometimes forget Amy has red hair. She hears something, but Dustin smacks her down GHI style and let's her know that she would never make it on their show. NEVER! Dustin hears loud sounds around the girls. It's a perv ghost. The girls give the show a perfect teaser shot as they both look the same way at the same time.

The Reveal
I am betting they don't claim is or isn't paranormal. They talk about a bunch of stuff that happens but don't really give any evidence one way or another. There was someone buried in the backyard at one point. They talk to Wendi about a couple of theories that could be happening, just proving once again that if these guys wanted to be, they could actually be good ghost hunters. Jason tells Wendi to set up a webcam to catch the book thing. Again, good advice.

Wendi seems like she is going to do the webcam thing.

Cartalk. They did a great job. Wendi was great. Assumed fistbump.

Fin.

Overall:
First, if Ghost Hunters Academy means we are getting a steady dose of Britt and Dustin instead of Clown Team (and from next week's previews that looks to be the case), then it is officially my new favorite show.

Secondly, aside from the wishy washy answers that they give everyone now, this was a good show. It's frustrating to watch Jason and Grant spew knowledge about the paranormal because you know they can do it and half the time they choose the lazy way out. They got some great stuff with the cat in the first investigation. I just wish they had went more in depth with it.

Plus, I know someone at Pilgrim is messing with my on this whole Finding/Analysis thing. You have my email – just fess up, kids!

Later.