TV Rants and Raves 11.18.09

Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 11.18.2009

In this issue we Rant and Rave about the end of "Dollhouse," "Eastwick," and "Hank," Jeff Probst, Lou Dobbs, the Weather Channel, old TV westerns, overnight news, Art LaFleur, that "Family Guy" variety show, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin hosting the Oscars, The New York Times wins a special award, a Special Comment on the "CSI Trilogy," two more Complete Lies, and more, plus RIP Edward Woodward and Ken Ober.

TV Rants and Raves Issue #19: In this issue we Rant and Rave about the end of "Dollhouse," "Eastwick," and "Hank," Jeff Probst, Lou Dobbs, the Weather Channel, old TV westerns, overnight news, Art LaFleur, that "Family Guy" variety show, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin hosting the Oscars, The New York Times wins a special award, a Special Comment on the "CSI Trilogy," two more Complete Lies, and more, plus RIP Edward Woodward and Ken Ober

Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the TV centric column that has never been shot at by alien soldiers, TV Rants and Raves. I'm Bryan Kristopowitz.

First off, thanks to everyone who gave me advice on how to fix my HDTV "problem." Thankfully, my TV isn't broken or defective; I just needed to fiddle with it. I now see, for the most part, the difference. I don't see it all of the time (I think my eyes really are going), but with live sporting events (football games and NASCAR) the difference is obvious. So, again, thanks to everyone for the advice.



Now, before I get into the main section of the column, I want to mention the recent passing of British character actor Edward Woodward, star of the original "The Wicker Man" and the great 1980's CBS drama "The Equalizer." He apparently died from complications from pneumonia. He was 79.

Woodward starred and participated in numerous TV shows and movies over the years, most of them in Britain (naturally, as that's where he's from). When I heard he had a part in the great Edgar Wright flick "Hot Fuzz," I was shocked because I hadn't seen him in anything in years. He never really stopped acting, but aside from reruns of "The Equalizer" I don't think I ever recognized him in anything else. It'll be fun trying to see some of his other stuff, both movies and TV, as I'm sure there will be a bit of a resurgence in interest in his work (that's what usually happens when a fine actor dies).



Man, "The Equalizer" used to scare the crap out of me. And you know why? Because Woodward's ex-spy Robert McCall was the ultimate TV bad ass. All you had to do was watch the show's opening and look at McCall's face and you immediately knew: you better not fuck with this guy.

Here, watch:



You wanna fuck with him?



Yeah, I didn't think so.



Edward Woodward 1930-2009 RIP

And I also want to mention the recent passing of Ken Ober, who many of you may remember from the late 1980's MTV trivia show "Remote Control." He did a bunch of other stuff over the years, too (he was a comedian, a producer, a writer on various shows) but "Remote Control" is probably where he made his biggest mark in the world of pop culture. It was a fun show, as I remember it (I'm kind of surprised MTV never tried to do another version of the show. If they ever did, well, I don't remember MTV doing it).



Ken Ober 1957-2009 RIP



And now, the main part of the column:

TV Rants and Raves



- "Dollhouse," "Eastwick," and "Hank" have all been cancelled: I guess these cancellations aren't all that surprising. "Dollhouse" didn't have much of a chance on Friday nights, but then very few shows seem to (unless, of course, your show is on CBS). I never watched the show (I taped the first episode but then never watched it. I have no idea why I did that) but I know that, like all of Joss Whedon's shows, it had a devoted fanbase (which is probably why Fox gave it a second season). To a certain extent I'm still interested in checking it out, and I'll probably do that when the second season hits DVD. Again, I've never seen the show, but I have a feeling that it'll have a long shelf life on home video.



The same, however, cannot be said for "Eastwick," which was plain awful from the start and then never got better. It's a shame because the show had a decent cast (the uber hot Rebecca Romijn, the equally uber hot Lindsay "Victory Ford" Price, and that other one, Jamie Ray Newman) and an okay premise (well, it was a stupid premise, but it could have been reworked to watchability. Probably). It got hammered on Wednesday nights, sure, but I don't think the show ever had much of a chance on any night (I will say that it may have survived had it been put on after "Desperate Housewives" on Sunday nights, but ABC certainly wasn't going to move "Brothers & Sisters" for whatever the hell "Eastwick" was trying to be). Unless this show has some kind of resurgence based on eventual DVD sales it'll end up as a sad footnote on the resumes of all involved.



And then there's "Hank." Poor Kelsey Grammer. This rather generic family sitcom never had a chance. The show's premise was lame, most of the cast was terrible (Grammer was decent, David "Champ Kind" Koechner was his usual funny self, and Melinda McGraw, as Hank's wife, kind of grew on me. The kids were fucking awful, though), and the show, as a whole, just wasn't as funny as it needed to be. If there was ever a show that needed major reworking it was this one. And besides the whole cancellation thing, I feel kind of sad for Grammer because the show was preempted for the Charlie Brown Halloween special and he had to do a very unfunny "we'll be back next week" bit dressed up in a Charlie Brown shirt. Grammer looked like an idiot.



"Yes. Yes, it did."

Maybe Grammer can replace Chris Kattan's character on "The Middle." I think Grammer would rock the world in a supporting character part like that, and it would be a nice reunion with Patricia Heaton, his "Back to You" co-star. I loved "Back to You." That show should still be on; at least I think it should be.



So, which show is going down next? I guess we'll find out soon enough. I bet NBC is the first one to clean house, because of that whole Comcast thing.

- Jeff Probst is fucking annoying: He is. He really, really is. On "Survivor," that is. For all I know he's a great guy away from the "Survivor" set, but on television the guy is just a total fucking douchebag.

Why is he always fucking narrating the immunity challenges? We can see what the hell is going on. And how can the contestants stand him? He never shuts the fuck up. Why hasn't anyone kicked him in the fucking nuts yet?

And why is he so goddamn smarmy at the tribal councils? And is it me, or does he make the "tallying the votes" segment sound far more important than it really needs to be?

I'll probably keep watching each new season of "Survivor" until it eventually gets cancelled. I'm interested in the show just enough to keep watching (mind you, I always watch the show in a passive fashion, meaning I'm following what's going on but I can't tell you any of the details). But Probst has got to shut the fuck up. There's no need to always talk.



"Yes there is! Kulula is about to win the challenge! Hank just farted! Ahhh!"


- Lou Dobbs has left CNN: Well, I guess Dobbs leaving CNN isn't all that surprising. It was eventually going to happen, as Dobbs and CNN have recently had serious differences of opinion on what kind of show he should do. Dobbs wanted to do an opinion based show, and the higher ups at CNN wanted him to do more of a middle-of-the-road newscast sans the opinion. Dobbs still had something like a year or so left on his contract but he decided to resign and go do something else. And what, exactly is Dobbs going to do next?



"Well, I'm not going to Taco Bell, that's for sure."

Some people have speculated that he'll enter national politics and run for the Senate from New Jersey as a Republican. Some say he'll just become a bigger presence on AM talk radio. And others have said Dobbs will most likely eventually end up on the Fox News Business Channel, joining John Stossel and Don Imus as that network's "star power." I'd say that's probably the most likely thing to happen.

Let's face facts. Even if Dobbs isn't a racist (I think he is, but for the sake of argument here let's just say that he isn't) he's still going to have to endlessly answer questions about what he said and meant on his old CNN show regarding the U.S./Mexico border and how illegal Mexican are overrunning the country, etc (and that "President Obama needs to prove he's really an American eligible to be President" thing is going to be a problem, as well). The guy's just got too much baggage to be a viable candidate. I mean, unless the Democratic challenger is a total zero there's just no way Dobbs can win. As for the potential radio option, it would be incredibly hard for Dobbs to penetrate an already overly saturated ultra right wing talk radio market and matter in the grand scheme of things. So TV is his best bet. It's where everyone knows him.



"Illegal immigrants! The President isn't an American! Ah!"

But will Dobbs want to start out on what amounts to a second tier business channel? Won't he instead want to do a show on the mothership station, Fox News? I imagine he would. But in that situation which current Fox News show would get the boot? Shepard Smith? That show that's on at 6pm that used to be hosted by Brit Hume? Will Greta get the heave ho? Fox News watchers, which show would you like to see get replaced by the Lou Dobbs?



- "Cheyenne" is a great old TV western: I think I talked about this in a previous column, but it bears repeating: "Cheyenne" is a great, old TV western show. Starring Clint Walker as Cheyenne Bodie, "Cheyenne" basically consists of Bodie moving from town to town across the Old West, taking on bad guys in each new town because that's just what he does (that's what I've managed to distill from the episodes I've seen so far). It's a simple premise that works because the star character is so dang cool (Cheyenne Bodie is one bad ass motherfucker) and the show never tries to be anything more than it is. It's a show about good guys and bad guys. And sometimes that's all you need to succeed.

According to imdb.com, "Cheyenne" ran for seven seasons, from 1955-1963, on the ABC network. It currently airs on the Encore Westerns cable channel at 5pm weekdays, and I believe the show is on DVD. So, if you've got the Encore movie channel package and you've got nothing to do at around 5 pm EST, give it a look see. I think you'll like it.



After watching an episode of "Cheyenne," I often wonder why we don't have shows like it on TV now. I'm not talking about westerns specifically but shows about good guys and bad guys, heroes and villains, all that stuff. When did simple yet entertaining programming become old hat and untouchable? Have we become such a horrendously jaded, cynical society that we can't even have a television show that isn't hip and edgy and ironic and "socially significant and important" and chock full of "shades of grey?" Why can't a network do a simple, straight forward show starring a charismatic actor (I can't think of one right now but I'm sure there's one out there) that eventually becomes deeper than what it appeared to be at the beginning?

Now, on the western front, wouldn't it be neat to see big stars like George Clooney and Angelina Jolie do a limited run western TV series using the scripts from the old western shows but infusing them with modern filmmaking techniques and star power? I think it would be fascinating television and a sure fire ratings winner.



- Why the fuck is the Weather Channel showing movies?: Really, why the fuck is the Weather Channel showing movies? It's bad enough that the network, which used to be non-stop, 24 hour weather forecasts/reporting, shows documentaries about old hurricanes and blizzards and whatnot, but at least they're somewhat appropriate. They're documentaries about weather. And that Al Roker early morning show features a noted weatherman, Al Roker, so that makes sense. But movies? Theatrical movies?



The Weather Channel plans on airing (or maybe the channel has already shown it) the 2000 flick "The Perfect Storm." Yeah, it's a movie about a massive ocean storm and a fishing boat trying to make one last big score before the storm comes in (and it's based on a true story), but how long do you think it's going to be before the channel shows "Twister," that Chris O'Donnell avalanche movie, or that Stephen King miniseries "Storm of the Century?" The Weather Channel is owned by NBC, which owns Sci-Fi, which has access to several low budget weather disaster B-movies. Do you really want to turn on the Weather Channel and, while waiting for the "Weather on the 8's," watch a few minutes of "Ice Tornado"?

This is what happens when fewer and fewer entities own television stations. If this movie thing continues, don't be surprised if "Lethal Weapon" ends up on the Weather Channel schedule. And why not? Every other cable channel that airs movies shows "Lethal Weapon" eventually.





- When did ABC start the whole "An ABC Production" thing?: If you watch a show on ABC, right before the opening credits is the line "An ABC Production." When did this start? Has it always been this way on ABC and I'm just noticing it now? Is it some new thing to make the opening credits seem more important? Are the other networks doing this now, too?

And what's the deal with having the opening credits after ten minutes? Isn't that a tad late for opening credits? Shouldn't opening credits appear right at the very beginning of the show? And isn't it about time TV shows get back into the practice of having actual show openings that consist of something more than a quick image, a few musical notes, and then some kind of flourish?



- You know who should have his own show? Art LaFleur: Art LaFleur is one of the finest character actors working today. He's been around for a little over thirty years and he's worked in both movies and television, big budget and low budget, TV commercials (I think he did a breakfast cereal commercial a few years ago where he played a baseball umpire) and he's done a bunch of voice over work. You may not recognize the name but you've probably seen him in something (he's been in two of the Tim Allen "The Santa Clause" movies, he was Sylvester Stallone's boss in "Cobra," and he was the awesome McNulty in the future in the first two "Trancers" movies. That's where I know him from. He was also fabulous in "Zone Troopers" and as Babe Ruth's ghost in "The Sandlot"). The man can act in anything. And, as the first line says, the man deserves his own show.

Well, then, what kind of show should LaFleur get? I think he'd kick ass in a sitcom (if Josh Radnor can lead a TV show Art LaFleur can, too). He'd also do quite well in a straight up drama. He'd do quite well for himself playing a cop or an FBI agent of some kind. I think the ultimate Art LaFleur show, though, would be something akin to Showtime's "Dexter" where he essentially plays a villain against a bunch of other villains, an ultra bad ass (think of Michael Chiklis in "The Shield" but less of a pussy). Who the hell wouldn't want to watch a show like that?

Of course, the odds of Art LaFleur actually getting his own show are about as good as me getting my own show (well, that's a little harsh. Someone would probably take LaFleur's call and humor him for a few minutes. They'd just tell me to go fuck myself). Eventhough he's a known commodity, I don't think there's a TV producer or network executive in Hollywood with the guts to hire someone like LaFleur. I doubt even cable would come calling, even if the potential show's premise was the greatest premise in the history of television. The audience knows who he is, but then again the audience really doesn't know him.

I can dream, though, can't I?



"You fuck."

"Tuesday nights, 9pm, it's Art LaFleur in "Cobalt City" (it's a cop show). In this week's episode, LaFleur's Lt. Jack Krayker chases a notorious drug dealer, Tye (guest star Eric Balfour), through the city, killing the dealer's henchmen along the way with his trusty shotgun. Will Krayker catch Tye before he skips town? Watch and see."



- I love the overnight news on CBS: "CBS Up to the Minute," which airs on my local CBS affiliate from 2:30am-5am, is easily my favorite network news broadcast. Usually hosted by the uber hot Meg Oliver, it follows the same essential format as the regular Evening News show but the actual story segments play a little longer. The feature stories are also a little more in depth and, well, interesting. But my favorite aspect of the show is that it's just a news show. It's about the news and nothing else.

ABC's overnight news show is pretty decent, too, although I think they overdo it a bit. It's 3:30 in the morning, man, why is the set so goddamn bright? And why are there two anchors? And why are they always so enthusiastic? Again, it's 3:30 in the morning. I just want the news.



And speaking of overnight news, have you ever watched MSNBC late at night and watched that little 30 second news update that usually shows up at the 30 minute mark? Doesn't it look like anchor Dan Kloeffler is the only one in the building and he's running the network until Joe Scarborough and Willie Geist get in?



- Thoughts on that "Family Guy" variety show: I finally got a chance to watch the big hooha "Family Guy Presents: Seth and Alex's Almost Live Comedy Show" and it was freaking hilarious. Both MacFarlane and Alex Borstein, fellow "Family Guy" voice performer and writer and producer, were great onstage, singing and joking and bickering (that whole "This is not the time to bring up your Hebrew baggage" was the best bit between the two). The skits were pretty decent, too (I loved the Gregory Peck as a Transformer thing). The only thing that didn't work was the long animated bit about masturbation. The live studio audience laughing at it just, for me, killed the bit's momentum. And the thing about "The Cleveland Show" didn't work all that well, either.

I also didn't like that the show was only a half an hour. Why wasn't it an hour? Is this something that's going to come out on DVD eventually as some kind of three hour "live" "Family Guy" extravaganza? Was the show just a tease in an anticipation of that? And where was Adam West? Did I miss his appearance? Will that be on the eventual DVD?



The best part of the show, though, was the surprise appearance by Marlee Matlin while Borstein was doing that joke about Marlee Matlin's deafness. I just couldn't believe my eyes. Was that really Marlee Matlin? And the way the bit ended was perfect, Matlin storming off the stage after completely destroying Borstein, pulling a bunch of stuff off a nearby table as she left. Just great, great stuff.

I hope that Fox allows MacFarlane, Borstein, and everyone else to do another one of these pseudo variety shows. Give them a little more time and we'll see what they can really do with the variety show format. I want a sequel to the Patrick Warburton western thing.

And finally,



- Thoughts on Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin hosting the Oscars: I quite enjoyed Martin's two stints as host of the movie awards show and am psyched to see him back doing it for a third time. I'm not all that psyched, though, about Martin's co-host, first timer Alec Baldwin. I'm sure Baldwin will do a great job and all (he will have the awesome Martin to pick up the slack) but why pick him in the first place? Is it because he's a big time TV star now and a multiple Emmy winner? Are people really going to tune in because Baldwin is on "30 Rock," a show loved by TV critics but not so much by regular TV viewers? Is Baldwin going to bring in ratings because he's Alec Baldwin?

No, I don't think so.

Yeah, there will be plenty of people curious to see how Baldwin does, but how many of those people are going to be new viewers? Probably not many. I just don't see how this pick is a ratings getter. If the producers wanted to do some kind of stunt hosting they should have tried to get Gary Busey to do it. Everyone in the world would watch that show. Would Busey show up drunk or high on something? Would he go off script and completely flip out about something? Would he call Mel Gibson a motherfucker for some reason? I know I wouldn't miss that Oscar show.

I will make a prediction, though. I predict that Tina Fey will be making an appearance alongside both Martin and Baldwin at some point during the show and there will be a bunch of lame jokes about "30 Rock." Because that's obviously what people want to see. Do you think Alec will invite all of his brothers to the show?

Good luck, Alec. I know you'll do okay. You, too, Steve.

***
And now, a shameless plug for TLC



Did you miss the last episode of "Cake Boss"? Here's some of what you missed:



Pretty funny, huh? I know I laughed. Be on the lookout for a rerun of this particular episode, and then tune in to two new half hour episodes next Monday at 10 pm EST.

"Cake Boss," yeah!



***
Complete Lies

Once again, this column presents to the pop culture zeitgeist two complete lies. None of it is true. Not one bit of it. There is absolutely no reason to think any of this stuff is true. Not at all. You have been warned.

Enjoy.

- Premium cable channel HBO has a new late night series coming this January that's sure to generate discussion across the country and, quite possibly, across the world. This new show will feature actors that, according to the show's producers and HBO's advertising department, regular people will be able to relate to. It will be "groundbreaking television." So what is the name of this new show?



"Fat Sex."

"Fat Sex," an hour long ensemble drama/comedy/pseudo documentary will feature fat characters that enjoy having sex with other fat people.

"The characters in this show will have no hang ups with weight or body size. They will enjoy having sex with one another. It's a whole new paradigm in adult drama," one of the show's producers said.

Producers refused to name who will be playing who in the show as they want the actor/character reveals to be a surprise.



"You're definitely going to know some of these people, and some of them you're going to meet for the first time. We think audiences are really going to love how this show works and love how it changes the way we look at sex on television. No one is going to come away from the show thinking that it's gross," another producer said.

"Fat Sex," sure to titillate and entertain in new and surprising ways. Coming this January to HBO.



"Dude, who is banging that chick?"

- MTV recently announced that it plans to air a special live event this December featuring "Transformers" babe Megan Fox eating a hamburger. What kind of hamburger Fox will eat is being kept under wraps (rumor is that Burger King is debuting a new burger in December and that new burger will debut during this special), but MTV producers promise that it will look good and taste good.



"I think this will be a fun, stupid show," Fox told reporters at a recent press conference when asked about her participation in the show. "I'm doing it for charity and for laughs. I can't think of a better combination to have. And, yes, I'll be wearing something nice, just in case you're wondering," the brunette bombshell said.

If the special is a success, MTV hopes to have a sequel ready to go for a Superbowl Half Time special, once again featuring Fox. "If we get to do a second one, she'll probably eat a banana or a hot dog. We haven't decided yet."



Keep watching this space for broadcast dates and times.

***

The TV Rants and Raves Theme Song of the Week

Enjoy.



***

And now, Dr. Phil.



"I used to tell people 'I've been known to cut a little rug.' They thought I meant I was a good dancer. Some people are just fucking stupid, you know?"

My God, Phil, you are such an asshole.

***

And now, the weekly Fearnet update

What's on Fearnet this week? Why don't you go here to find out?

Yes, that's the Fearnet website, where you can check out free movies (the site gets new ones every Wednesday), horror news, and more ("TerrorVision" was on there last week. Is it still on there? Check and see). They've also got a pretty nifty web series on there featuring Freddy Krueger hisself, Robert Englund, and Kane "Jason Voorhees" Hodder, "Fear Clinic."



Plus, you can get information on how to contact Time Warner Cable as they still haven't reinstated the free, 24/7 on demand horror channel. Come on Time Warner! We want our Fearnet!

And, if you haven't done so already, please check out the Fearnet fans Facebook page, which can be seen here. There are plenty of people out there interested in Fearnet. Come join them.

(As always, thanks to both Mark Lindsey and Mathew Hirsch for info regarding the Fearnet fan movement).

***



"Live Evil," the great new Tim Thomerson vampire flick (also featuring an appearance by horror legend Ken Foree) is now on Video on Demand. Check out my review for the flick here, and then, if it's on your cable system, order it. It's a great flick, and you will not be disappointed.

The flick now also has a firm DVD release date. According to its MySpace page, "Live Evil" will hit DVD February 23rd, 2010. That's only a few short months away, so remember that date, and be sure to keep an eye on the MySpace page and the flick's new Facebook page for further updates/developments.



***
Special Comment



So, the big hooha "CSI Trilogy" has come and gone and, apparently, it was a big success ratings wise. Loads of people tuned in to see Larry Fishburne's Dr. Raymond Langston work with the gang on "CSI: Miami" Monday, Gary Sinise's Mac Taylor on Wednesday, and then the regular old CSI crew on the "CSI" mothership Thursday. I watched it and, in an overall sense, it was okay. Eventhough I don't really care for "CSI: Miami," I'll admit that it was kind of cool seeing Fishburne on the show. It was also nifty seeing Fishburne brandish a shotgun in New York with Gary Sinise. The ending on Thursday was kind of lame, but, all in all, it turned out better than I thought it would.



Watching the "CSI Trilogy" got me thinking, though. What does this kind of interaction mean, in the grand scheme of things, for the "CSI" franchise as a whole? Does it mean that we're going to see more of this kind of thing in the future? Will this kind of interaction become a yearly event, perhaps featuring a different character each cycle? I really don't know. I'd imagine that both CBS and show producer Jerry Bruckheimer are looking at the ratings numbers and saying, "Fuck, yeah, we should do this kind of thing all of the time." What they should be thinking, though, is that they now have a perfectly good reason to finish off the show that I never really liked but oodles of people did and were heartbroken that it got cancelled at the end of last season. And what is the name of that show?

"Without a Trace."

Wait a second, "Without a Trace?" What the hell are you talking about, dude? Give me a second and I'll explain.



See, two years ago William Peterson's Gil Grissom did a guest starring bit on "Without a Trace," thereby establishing that both "Without a Trace" and "CSI" exist in the same essential world. Now, with all three "CSI" shows existing in the same world, "Without a Trace" has to exist in that world, too. Grissom hung around with Anthony LaPaglia's Jack Malone, Grissom was replaced by Langston, and Langston went to New York to hang around with Taylor, who also now exists in the same city as "Without a Trace," so there's really no reason for Malone not to show up from time to time with Taylor and his crew.

It really is that simple. Will CBS and Bruckheimer make it happen? Probably not, but you'd think they would. You'd think everyone involved would want to not only create closure for "Without a Trace," but also create further awareness of "Without a Trace" and get more people interested in the show's syndicated reruns. More money could be made, and why would CBS turn that opportunity down? It can be another layer to the trilogy concept. More characters equals more interest, right? So, again, why not include "Without a Trace" in the grand scheme of thing?

Lack of imagination? They just don't want to do it? Some other reason that escapes me at the moment? What the heck is holding everyone back?

It's probably the same thing holding back the ultimate crossover on NBC featuring all three "Law & Order" shows, the USA cable show "In Plain Sight," and the long cancelled but still awesome "Homicide: Life on the Street." No one wants to think about it. Well, besides me that is.



"I think about it sometimes. But then she turns around and I look at her cleavage and then... what were we talking about again?"

***

The TV Rants and Raves Douchebag of the Week





This week, the TV Rants and Raves Douchebag of the Week goes to the New York Times, for hiring the Parents Television Council to compile how many times the word "douche" has been used on TV this year. Is this really a wise use of company money? And time and newspaper space? And why the fuck would the Old Grey Lady of newspapers consort with an organization of ultra right wing religiously insane wackos? Where's the outrage?



"I'm a homophobe and damn proud of it!"

And then there's raging homophobe Carrie Prejean, for going on "Larry King Live" to plug her book and then leaving the show in the middle of the interview because Larry was being "inappropriate." Of course, Larry wasn't being inappropriate at all (he was asking a legitimate question and she was offering up a bullshit answer), but then that's really beside the point, isn't it? It's all about alleged persecution for Prejean because persecution helps her make more and more money from the homophobes that really, truly believe she's being destroyed by evil forces. This was all a big scam, and Prejean should be ashamed of herself for acting like such a douchebag. Will that ever happen? Of course not. Shame is gay.



"I'm not going anywhere! Buy my book yet?"

And finally, there's Sarah Palin, for absolutely refusing to just go away. She's fucking everywhere now, shilling her book and acting the victim. She's on Oprah, Barbara Walters, etc. The liberal media is against her. Katie Couric is a self hating bitch, etc. Whatever, Sarah Barracuda. You lost. You're a quitter. And you're fucking stupid. Get over it, get over yourself, and just go the fuck away.

***

And now, your weekly "Jericho" update



Well, the first issue of the "Jericho" comic book is just a little over a week away from being released (it comes out January 27th, Black Friday in retail speak). If you haven't found a comic book shop near you, go here to find out if, in fact, there is one near you. And don't forget to check out http://www.savingjericho.com and http://jerichocomic.squarespace.com/ for up-to-date information regarding the "Jericho" comic plus other "Jericho" related stuff. And be sure to keep an eye on http://www.devilsdue.net/, the online home of Devil's Due Publishing for information regarding the comic.

You can also still, as far as I know, preorder the eventual "Jericho" comic book trade paperback here. I don't know how the new November release date is going to change the paperback release date, but if you have it pre-ordered you'll get it when it comes out.

Skeet Ulrich, good old Jake Green in "Jericho," returns to "CSI: NY" as a pretty dang creepy serial killer character called the Compass Killer. Be sure to check it out if you can, and be on the lookout for the action flick "Armored," which comes out in December. Ulrich has a supporting part

Now, if you're still looking to purchase "Jericho"'s full two season run on DVD you can go here to get. If you're not into the whole "buying the entire series in one package" thing, you can get each season individually (get season 1 here, and season two here).

"Jericho" is about to be reborn.

Long live "Jericho"!



***

NASCAR and IRL thoughts

Not much going on in the world of either NASCAR or the IRL at the moment. The major racing season is about the end this weekend, with all three of the major NASCAR series finales at Homestead. Two of the three titles are clinched (Ron Hornaday is the Trucks champion, and all Kyle Busch has to do is start the race and he's the Nationwide champion). As for Sprint Cup, well, read on for that:



Well, the NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Phoenix was a fucking borefest, with Jimmie Johnson owning the day, winning the race and leading the most laps. Mark Martin tried valiantly to make something happen for himself (he won the spring race at Phoenix so it was easy to think that he could repeat) but he failed to make up any real ground on Johnson. All Johnson has to do is finish 25th or better and he's got his fourth straight title. Unless Johnson wrecks like he did at Texas last week, he's pretty much got the title locked up.

Man, that's depressing to think about. Jimmie Johnson, four time champion? That just sucks.



"Hey, I'm this close to winning this whole thing. This close."





Over in the IRL, two big driver changes have apparently happened. Hideki Mutoh has apparently left Andretti Green Racing for Newman/Haas/Lanigan (what the heck happened to Alex Lloyd? I thought he had serious sponsorship backing him up) and Ryan Hunter Raey has apparently moved to Mutoh's seat at AGR, which is a boon for Raey because he'll have a somewhat competitive car to race in next season. I don't know what Mutoh's move means, though. Does he still have money from Japan working for him or does he have something else? Has McDonalds left the team because Paul Newman is dead?

Who is going to move next?



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That'll be about it

Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. Hopefully you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together.

Don't forget to check out the 411 mania movies zone podcast, which can be heard here. It's always a good listen.

And please check out my other column here at the 411 mania movies zone, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column. It's about B-movies.

And don't forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You'll be glad you did.

"Lois: Chris, we know what you did.

Chris: You mean that I lied about my age to get into an Indian casino?

Lois: No.

Chris: You mean about the time I had hard gas and pooed myself?

Peter: Close, but no.

Stewie: How is that close?"

That's from "Family Guy," but I'm pretty sure you already knew that.

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Cancer really fucking sucks.

Alzheimers sucks.

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Police Academy - The most amazing bloopers are here

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