411 Fact or Fiction Movies/TV 11.27.09: Week 205

Posted by Ben Piper on 11.27.2009

Will Old Dogs be completely unfunny? Shall The Road be one of the bext movies of 2009? Does Oprah Winfrey's announcement that she'll end her show in 2011 make people want to watch? Is anyone suffering Lost withdrawals? 411's Jason Chamberlain and Cory Johnson debate these and other subjects in Week 205 of 411 Fact of Fiction: Movies/TV!



Hello. Let me begin by saying I hope everyone had a happy and safe Thanksgiving. For all those that aren't American, I truly hope you enjoy your weekend.

That said, welcome back to Fact or Fiction! This week, Jason Chamberlain and Cory Johnson are hanging out. Let's find out what's what…



1. Old Dogs will be horrendously unfunny.

Cory Johnson: Fact. This is going to be one of those "old people might like this" comedies. Sure it might make you smile once or twice, but you know going in that you are not going to get the huge laughs you want from Robin Williams or Seth Green. Travolta has earned the right to do whatever he wants, but is anyone clamoring to laugh at/with John Travolta (and did those people actually watch Wild Hogs)? Hopefully, Robin William's HBO stand-up special will remind us why he is funny, because this movie isn't going to do it.

Jason Chamberlain: Fiction. I liked Wild Hogs, Cory! I had me some good laughs. And Travolta was actually pretty funny in it.

Back to this movie. I like Travolta, I like Robin Williams, and seeing the two together intrigues me. Yeah it looks like a safe family comedy so I guess the humor won't get too extreme, but Wild Hogs was much the same and there were quite a few chuckles in that movie. More than anything, though, I say fiction because of Seth Green. Or more specifically, Seth Green curled up in a gorilla's arms singing Air Supply. If that doesn't make you smile, you have no soul.

Score: 0 for 1

2. You're not the least bit surprised that Will Ferrell was named the most overpaid actor in Hollywood.

Cory Johnson: Fact. Will Ferrell is funny, but he has more of a cult following, not a mass following. Will Ferrell cannot open a movie, and he needs a good supporting cast to make a great movie. There are not many "name" actors out there that can guarantee a movie makes money, and Ferrell is not in that category. I am guessing that if rentals and DVD sales were factored in, someone else would top this list. Ferrell also feels kind of typecast, like Adam Sandler, where every role is just Will Ferrell playing Will Ferrell, and while there are those people that just want to see the same thing over and over, those type of actors don't dominate at the box office. Funny man, but not funny enough to get near the stratospheric paychecks he has been getting.

Jason Chamberlain: Fact. Yeah, I guess I can see that. Personally, I like Will Ferrell, but I like him more in small to medium sized doses. I've never seen him headline a movie that I really loved, and yeah that includes Anchorman. I had a lot of fun with Blades Of Glory, but that was as much Jon Heder's movie as it was Ferrell's. Most recently, I was fairly disappointed in Land of the Lost. I'm kind of surprised it's taken this long for Will to be considered overpaid, though. How long ago was Bewitched? Pretty sure that tanked.

But let's face it, damn near every actor is over paid. Does anyone deserve to make millions of dollars to play make believe for a living? Or to play sports? Our society sucks.

Score:1 for 2

3. Ninja Assassin will provide fun, cheesy martial arts action.

Cory Johnson: Fact. The preview for this movie feels just like Welcome to Zombieland. This is one of those movies that you know exactly what you are getting when you buy the ticket. Cool kills, plenty of action and blood, and maybe a few quips. Kind of like a black humor version of a Jackie Chan movie. You can't have your expectations too high for this one, but just like a Will Ferrell performance, there is nothing wrong with getting exactly what you pay for, nothing at all.

Jason Chamberlain: Fact. OH HELL YES! I cannot wait to see this movie. There aren't enough movies about ninjas. Screw this vampire craze, there should be a ninja craze. What's cooler than a ninja? I'll tell you what's cooler than a ninja. NOTHING. Edward Cullen meets a ninja, five seconds later he's castrated and hung from a tree by his underwear.

Crazy ninja fights, crazy ninja weapons, crazy ninjas fighting other crazy ninjas with crazy ninja weapons in crazy ninja environments. I am all about this movie. NINJAS. ARE. AWESOME.

Score: 2 for 3

Switch!!!



4. The Road will be one of the best movies of the year.

Jason Chamberlain: Fiction. That's a bit of a reach. It's been a pretty good year for movies. I mean, maybe. Are we talking "snooty Oscar" best movies or 'Chamby of the moviegoing public' best movies? I don't see it making my list. I do like Viggo though. He's a big Habs fan, just like me. Random fact; did you know that when he was shooting the Rings trilogy, he'd wear a Habs shirt under his Aragorn armor? Said it made him swing the sword harder. That's awesome. Go Habs!

But yeah. I'll reserve judgement til I see the thing.

Cory Johnson: Fact. Unless this movie has long quiet scenery stretches (think Castaway), there is almost no way this movie doesn't make it to the best-of lists (with Watchmen, Inglorious Basterds, Up, The Hangover, and probably not GI Joe or New Moon). It has the pedigree of a great book, great cast, and a promising plot (at the very least, it should allow those who saw 2012 a chance to get the taste out of their mouths). The debate is going to be between this one and Ninja Assassin for those trapped at a mall on black Friday.

Score: 2 for 4

5. Oprah Winfrey announced she's quitting her show in 2011. You won't be sucked in by the pop culture vacuum that her final season promises to be.

Jason Chamberlain: Fact. I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as Oprah's last season. Lemme see, uhh.... Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, 'The O.C.', the U.N., recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything, everything that exists, past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions....Oh! And Hugh Jackman.

Thank you Dr. Cox!

Does that answer your question?

Cory Johnson: Fact. Oprah never made an impact on most of the male demographic. I have never understood her appeal, or rather, I've never understood what makes her so influential. Oprah deserves some form of pain for inflicting Dr. Phil on the world (ask your psychiatrist what he or she thinks of someone without a medical degree pretending that he can practice on TV), and for her open political pandering during the last election. The real problem is that she isn't really going away, just to her own network, count on it. By the way, Jeff Wiggle is an a-hole-that bastard consistently does the one thing that that every parent wishes they could do at 5AM...sleep instead of watching the FREAKING WIGGLES.

Score: 3 for 5

6. The long wait for the final season of Lost to start is starting to drive you a little crazy.

Jason Chamberlain Fiction No, I can wait. Lost will be gone from our television screens in far too short a time, so I'm not going to wish it away any faster. If you're having trouble waiting for the final season, just imagine how you're going to feel next year at this time when there's no Lost to look forward to at all!

I am disappointed that my favorite character, Desmond, has been moved from regular to recurring status this season, but I guess it makes sense as he was barely around last season anyway. Otherwise, this final season is going to be the bomb (get it? Like the one they set off in the season finale? The bomb???). I can't even speculate about what's going to happen because it'll make my head explode (like the bomb!!!! Okay you get it...). And there are other shows, and DVD's to tide us over until the premiere.

Cory Johnson: Fiction. As great as LOST is, the final season is going to disappoint. I say this as a huge LOST fan. There is no way that they will be able to wrap everything up and answer all the mysteries in one little season in a satisfying way. I hate to bet against them, because if anyone can pull this off, it's the LOST writers, but the mystique and all the questions are such a central part of the show that once those answers start to fall into place, fans are going to be deflated and disappointed. The final episode will be legendary, and I'm sure some great characters will be killed off, and the final season should do great numbers, but I just cannot believe it will satisfy, and knowing that (and how irritating the time travel stalling was last season), I can wait.

Could you imagine how pissed off people would be if the whole thing really was just Hurley's dream or hallucination? The internet might explode.

Final Score: 4 for 6

Non Fact or Fiction Bonus Question: What is your least favorite movie franchise? (Spoof movies are too easy an answer, and as such not allowed)

Jason Chamberlain: I guess I missed the most favorite franchise question (it's Star Wars, by the way). Least favorite. Well this will obviously be an arms length answer as since it's a least favorite, I never watch it, but I'll go with Saw. I honestly can't believe there have been six of those movies. Since 2004! Six!

Why do I hate Saw? Too gory for one thing. It's torture porn, like those Hostel flicks. I can appreciate a well-executed scare, but blood and guts for blood and guts sake really turns me off of a movie. Also, there's so many of them. Six movies in as many years, how does that even happen? Do we not have any fresh ideas? Are they making that much bank? Can we not even take a single year off? And didn't the Jigsaw guy die, like, three movies ago? Why is he still in the commercials for the new ones? "I want to play a game", piss off you crazy old f*ck. And take your crappy franchise with you!

Cory Johnson: The Matrix. A few good action scenes (and I guess we wouldn't have the greatness of Max Payne without them), that's it, all the franchise has to offer. These movies were a mess. The movies felt fake, and as a result, it was impossible to care about the characters or what happened to them. The dialog-heavy scenes felt like they took two hours alone and I kept expecting Keanu to look right at the camera and bust out with a "gotcha dude" at any minute.

My hatred of this series is also professional, this movie was one of the worst things to happen to budding schizophrenics ever. People who are learning that they cannot trust their own reality cannot handle this movie. I want the Wachowski brothers locked in a unit debating the philosophical implications of reality with a first-breaker for eternity.

_____________________________________________

Yes, I freely admit that I'm suffering from Lost withdrawal. And I'm not the only one, seeing as a couple of my friends have sent me emails commanding me to send them spoilers for the final season. (We know you have the goods, so spill!)

Spoilers? What are those? I'll have no part in that!

I don't say it enough lately, so here goes… Thanks to you all for your continued patronage. (Hey, it's Thanksgiving!) It's because of all you guys reading this stuff that I continue to do it. I hope that you all appreciate and enjoy the efforts that I and my 411 counterparts continue to impart.

And that's it. Jason and Cory agree more often than not. Many thanks to them both for taking part (And getting back to me early, so I could post this in advance of Thanksgiving. Seriously and sincerely, thanks guys) Check back next week, and we'll do the whole thing over again.

Now go take a nap. You deserve it.
-BP

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