The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 11.30.09: Issue #83 - Direct Contact Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 11.30.2009
This column started the month of November with a Dolph Lundgren movie, and now it will end the month with a Dolph Lundgren movie, "Direct Contact" (2009). So, yeah, you're going to want to read it.
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #83: "Direct Contact" (2009)
Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never met anyone nicknamed "Burt the asshole," The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number eighty-three, I take a look at the 2009 low budget action flick "Direct Contact" starring B-movie God Dolph Lundgren and the great Michael Pare.
Direct Contact
"Direct Contact," based on a story by and directed by Danny Lerner (Les Weldon is listed as the screenwriter), stars Dolph Lundgren as Mike Riggins, an American ex-Special Forces guy serving a prison sentence in the Balkans for smuggling guns out of the region (because Riggins is a good guy. If he were a bad guy/anti-hero type guy he'd be in prison for smuggling weapons into the region). Riggins seems pretty content in prison as he apparently enjoys the food there (he's been there nine months, so I guess you could say he's just making the best of a bad situation). What he doesn't enjoy, though, are the ass kickings he has to dole out to the Russian mob scumbags that try to shake him down for protection money because that just leads to the guards beating the shit out of him. And that's pretty much how the movie starts, with Riggins chowing down in the prison cafeteria, getting into a knock down drag out fight with mob guys after one of them spits in his food, then getting his ass kicked by the guards for fighting and whatnot (it could be because he's an American, too, because we don't see what happens to the mob guys).
So some stuff happens, the guards put Riggins in a kind of solitary confinement where they continue to beat the crap out of him (Riggins pukes up some blood, which is then quickly devoured by nearby rats), days pass, and then a spooky American agent shows up wanting to talk to him. The spooky American agent, Clive Connelly (the great Michael Pare), wants Riggins to help him track down the daughter of a wealthy industrialist (Ana Gale, as played by Gina May) that was kidnapped eighteen months ago. And why not? Riggins is familiar with the area, he's got contacts, and he is ex-Special Forces. Who better to do the job? And if Riggins is successful he will get his full freedom and $200,000 cash. So Riggins immediately agrees to the terms laid out by Connelly, gets out of the Balkan prison, and starts his search for the elusive Ana.
Some more stuff happens, Riggins runs afoul of some Russian gangsters led by a man named Vlado (Vladimir Vladimirov) that he apparently owes money to for some past shenanigans but then gets information about Ana from those gangsters (I guess you can be pals with gangsters even when you owe them money and they want to kick the crap out of you). Riggins finds out that he's going to have to infiltrate a nearby military base where Vlado is being protected/is in cahoots with a notorious general named Drago (Bashar Rahal) and where Ana is hiding out. So Riggins infiltrates the base, kills some guys, rescues Ana, and then escapes.
Not is all as it seems, though. Riggins finds out that Ana didn't want to leave Vlado and that Connelly may not be the upstanding man he appears to be. In fact, pretty much everything about this search and rescue operation isn't as cut and dry as Connelly made it seem back in the prison. Before he can figure out what the heck is really going on, Riggins is on the run from black clad mercenaries that are employed by Connelly, General Drago's soldiers, and the Russian mob. The only thing he's sure of is that Ana will have to be protected, as people are out to kill her. Why do they want her dead? Well, you're just going to have to watch the flick to find out.
"Direct Contact" is one of the cheesiest action flicks in recent memory, but it's a good kind of cheesiness (essentially, it's the exact opposite of the last Dolph Lundgren flick to be reviewed in this here column, "Retrograde" which appeared in issue #79). Everyone involved is incredibly game for the low budget action bits (and there are loads of them here. Kung fu fights, gun battles, all that kind of stuff, with a big heaping of blood and guts to make it even more interesting) and the story's many twists and turns, some of which actually caught this reviewer off guard. It definitely helps having a director like Lerner involved, as he obviously knows what the heck he's doing when it comes to staging those fights and gun battles (he makes the most out of every sequence and it shows). Lerner uses slow motion and other assorted camera trickery to help amp up the action sequences, and they for the most part, work. There are only a few instances where the slow motion doesn't help make you forget that the movie is a low budget affair. I also want to commend Lerner for making the movie's violence nasty and gross (in a fun way, not in a "socially responsible way," which is always lame). You just don't see enough of that kind of thing in low budget action flicks.
Lundgren is his usual awesome self as Riggins. He's totally committed to the part, he knows when to make Riggins vulnerable and when to make Riggins seemingly invincible, and you can tell that he's having fun with the part. He also has great chemistry with Gina May's Ana. I don't know if I totally buy the love interest aspect of her relationship with Riggins, but it still kind of works anyway. The only disappointing aspect of Lundgren's performance is that he never once uses a mini shotgun to shoot a guy in the face with. Dolph used to do that all of the time, and now, for whatever reason, he doesn't want to do it anymore. Why, Dolph, why?
Michael Pare is in full on sleazebag mode as Clive Connelly. There are times where it looks like Pare isn't all that interested in what he's doing and that he's just going through the motions so he can get the hell out of whatever Eastern European country the movie was made in, but it's actually a nifty little character tick because Connelly clearly doesn't want to be involved in all of this bullshit. The Ana operation was supposed to be simple, but then it got all messed up and now he's got to exert more effort to get what he needs. He just doesn't want to do that. He wants to get from point A to point B with a minimum of fuss. Connelly also has no problem wasting children, which makes him just that much more awful. Great job, Pare. Too few bad guys in movies engage in Kim Richards.
Vladimir Vladimirov is exceptional as Vlado (he's a fat, bald mobster with a mean streak, an attitude Vladimirov just physically oozes), and Bashar Rahal is great as General Drago. Drago is a ruthless psychopath that will kill anyone in his way, and he's just the kind of bad guy we want to see destroyed by the hero. And kudos to James Chalke as Trent Robbins for helping to up the flick's sleaze factor. You'll see what I mean when you see it.
And, yes, you should definitely see "Direct Contact." It's a great, low budget action flick. As long as you take it on its own terms you'll have a good time.
So what do we have here? Gratuitous somber and suspenseful opening titles music, gratuitous Dolph Lundgren, gratuitous Dolph Lundgren in a Balkan prison eating, gratuitous gang of Russian mob thugs, gratuitous spitting in Dolph Lundgren's food, a full on prison cafeteria beatdown, gratuitous beatdown of Dolph Lundgren by prison guard goons, gratuitous Dolph Lundgren in solitary confinement getting his ass kicked and puking up blood, gratuitous rat eating Dolph Lundgren's puked up blood, gratuitous Michael Pare, gratuitous offer Dolph Lundgren can't refuse, gratuitous Eastern European strip club with nudity, gratuitous Eastern European hip hop, hookers, gratuitous fat guy with a knife, gratuitous scene where Dolph Lundgren picks out some guns, gratuitous Dolph Lundgren infiltrating an army base, gratuitous Dolph Lundgren planting explosives everywhere, multiple head shots with slow motion screaming woman, guy hugs, face punching, booze bottle to the head, gratuitous Dolph Lundgren with an AK-47, bondage, motorcycle stealing, waiter killing, some of the worst snipers in action movie history, exploding truck, exploding outdoor cafe, exploding stone wall, tank attack, a train wedding, a narrow tunnel chase, gratuitous Kim Richards, wild car flip with roll and slide and explosion, a restaurant kung fu fight, gratuitous sex subplot where Dolph gets his wounds fixed, gratuitous 360 close up shots, a massive heart shot, gratuitous slow motion machine gun attack from multiple angles, a yellow helicopter, gratuitous people putting dead bodies in the back of a van, gratuitous multiple slow motion head shots, one of the best rear projection car chase sequences in movie history, exploding pink and green gas truck, lingerie shop destruction, exploding engine, more sexual hooey, tire kicking, gratuitous village massacre, gratuitous showdown at the American Embassy, gratuitous Dolph Lundgren yelling in slow motion, a great rocket attack, exploding barrels, gratuitous slow motion grenade explosion, neck stabbing, 2 x 4 to the face, gratuitous Dolph Lundgren using a guy as a human shield, one of the greatest exploding body gags every committed to film, and implied limo sex.
Best lines: "You think you're a big shot, don't you?," "That's no way to start a friendship," "I'm here about a woman," "Are you going to fight a fucking army?," "My information says you were abducted!," "You've got twenty seconds to give me my money," "Well, that better be the fucking case, Clive!," "I will find that fucking American and kill him!," "I don't know what's going on but I'm not fucking around anymore," "There's something you're not telling me," "You're shot! I'm fine," "Guy's a goddamn out of control mercenary!," "She's mine, Drago," "Why am I not surprised?," "So it really was all about the money? Bastard," "You stupid bitch! Sign the document!," "Come on, faster, after them, intercept them!," "How the hell are they finding us?," "At least I'll die rich," "This is the most insane fucking thing I've ever seen!," "Wow, what happened last night? The best thing to happen to me in a long time," "Search for the Americanskis!," "Terrorist attack!," "Fuck me!," and "You'll never live long enough."
Rating: 9.5/10.0
***
And now, some Dolph Lundgren hooey
If you go over to Lundgren's official website you can apparently enter a contest based on his latest movie, "Command Performance" and potentially win a private workout session with Lundgren. There are prizes to be won, but the big one is a work out with the second best movie Punisher in history.
And, yes, "Command Performance" will eventually get reviewed in this here column. I don't know when that will be, but it will happen.
Of course, Lundgren will be back on the big screen in late summer 2010 as part of Sylvester Stallone's big ass action flick "The Expendables," which is something this column can't wait to see. It has one of the greatest casts in the history of movies (Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph, Eric Roberts, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Ahnold, Brittany Murphy, Danny Trejo, Gary Daniels, and likely more). How can you not want to see it?
The other big bit of recent Lundgren news involves his upcoming appearance in "Universal Soldier: Regeneration," where he teams up once again with Jean-Claude Van Damme to fight terrorists or some such. Early reviews for the John Hyams directed flick have been mixed (it's played at several festivals, apparently) but that won't stop me and, hopefully, you from checking it out when it hits video in February 2010. It'd be much cooler if it had some kind of limited or, even better, major theatrical release, but then the world just isn't that cool. Check out the trailer below for the third "Universal Soldier" movie (or fifth one, if you count those TV movies that came out in the late 1990's with Burt Reynolds and Gary Busey).
And here's the trailer for the first "Universal Soldier" movie. I recently rewatched this, and while it was still plenty fun it felt slower than the first time I saw it, in a theatre, back in the summer of 1992. Am I the only one that's experienced this?
Ooh, I almost forgot about this. If you go here you can check out Lundgren's great sci-fi action flick "I Come in Peace" (aka "Dark Angel"). It's worth buying and or renting.
***
Here's a different version of the "I Come in Peace" trailer, and then after that, trailers for a few other Lundgren classics. Enjoy.
***
And now, a little bit about "Live Evil"
"Live Evil," the great new Tim Thomerson vampire flick (also featuring an appearance by horror legend Ken Foree) is now on Video on Demand. Check out my review for the flick here, and then, if it's on your cable system, order it. It's a great flick, and you will not be disappointed. .
The flick now also has a firm DVD release date. According to its MySpace page, "Live Evil" will hit DVD February 23rd, 2010. That's only a few short months away, so remember that date, and be sure to keep an eye on the MySpace page and the flick's new Facebook page for further updates/developments.
***
Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that. And if there's anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I'm always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.
And don't forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You'll be glad you did.
"Direct Contact"
Dolph Lundgren- Mike Riggins Michael Pare- Clive Connelly Gina May- Ana Gale Bashar Rahal- General Drago Vladimir Vladimirov- Vlado James Chalke- Trent Robbins
Directed by Danny Lerner
Screenplay by Les Weldon, based on a story by Danny Lerner
Distributed by First Look International
Rated R for violence, language and brief nudity Runtime- 90 minutes
