411mania Interviews: Patti Stanger (Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker)
Posted by Al Norton on 01.19.2010
411's Al Norton sits down for an exclusive interview with Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger
Patti Stanger is the founder and owner of The Millionaire's Club, a matchmaking service for wealthy men and women and the focus of Bravo's hit series The Millionaire Matchmaker, which begins its third season Tuesday night at 9 pm.
Al Norton: What was it during your time at Great Expectations (Stanger's previous place of employment) that made you realize there was a niche to be filled with The Millionaire's Club?
Patti Stanger: Every now and then we'd get a huge millionaire who came in and I realized that there are millionaires out there on the low down –CEO's and guys who own their own companies but they're not famous, they're just rich – and they just needed a lot of help.
When I got to California millionaires were popping up all over the place thanks to Silicon Valley and these were the geeks who never got dates, so they needed help.
Al Norton: Was it tough to get your first few customers?
Patti Stanger: It was not tough. In fact, I belonged to another dating service where a friend of mine worked. There was a guy who I dated who I wasn't really into and he asked me to fix him up and I said sure. He said, "here's $10 grand, find me a wife by Monday and I want a baby by Tuesday." He was my first client and he ended up bringing me three people I had to quit my day job at a Fortune 500 company to do it. It wasn't like I was planning on doing it, it just sort of fell into my lap.
Al Norton: Did you just do word-of-mouth or where and how did you advertise?
Patti Stanger: When I first started I had a little tiny line ad in the back of LA Magazine, which is our bread and butter here in LA. I was asking for girls because I wanted to give the service free to women and charge the men and I really wasn't focusing on millionaires at the time. I was just really good with men and had a way of handling them. It grew from there and Marie Claire got wind of me and said they wanted to do a story about Golddigers because Sigourney Weaver was doing that movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt at the time. I told them I don't do golddiggers and I don't let them into my club. If they wanted to do a story on girls falling in love with millionaires, I am ok with that.
48 hours later the writer and the photographer were on the plane and they did this huge feature and then that went on IVillage and that launched me. It all spiraled from one article in Marie Claire; I owe everything to Marie Claire.
Al Norton: What types of things would disqualify someone from your service?
Patti Stanger: Mental disorders, health issues involving mental disorders. Not so much a DUI because someone may have gone through a successful treatment program and be under a Dr's supervision. I don't want a girl getting into a car with a guy who is drinking and driving. If I think someone may have an issue on that front I will suspend their membership and offer them up a Doctor. Other things would be restraining orders, a history of physical abuse. Basic criminal activity.
We had someone who fell through the cracks and lied to me and didn't tell me he had gone to jail for credit card fraud for three years. He's a famous celebrity but it was not in the news because he was 17 or 18 so it wasn't on his record. I disclosed it to any of the women he was seeing and they all said it was ok, that it had happened when he was a kid. He ended up getting married through me.
Al Norton: The phone rings six months from now and Tiger Woods wants to hire you…
Patti Stanger: I've had that happen already. Not Tiger specifically but a celebrity in similar circumstances. I usually wouldn't take them as a client unless they were under a Dr's supervision. We have confidential celebrity and high profile A-lister files and I can't let anyone know they are my clients and in situations like that I talk to their Dr's and find out what their diagnosis is and what treatment they are receiving and then I will work with them.
If Tiger goes and gets help, sure I would work with him. You've got to understand something, I can't put a third party in that situation now when he's still ill, so I've got to make sure he's working with the medical community to get things right.
Al Norton: Would the same answer go if Charlie Sheen calls?
Patti Stanger: I knew you were going to ask about him (laughing). It would have to be the same thing. Charlie's a little different because his situation right now is a "he said, she said." She's saying he put a knife to her neck, there's no one to prove it, and they she recanted. They both were on drugs, they both were on coke, so who's telling the truth here? That one was some grey area.
Al Norton: In his case she's hardly the first person to make this sort of accusation.
Patti Stanger: I know. Denise (Richards, Sheen's ex-wife) has been screaming for years about what he did to her, and he's got a track record.
Al Norton: How was the TV show changed the business?
Patti Stanger: It's changed the business to let people know there are service out there like this. Matchmaking is older than prostitution; we are actually the oldest profession in the world. The TV show let the millionaires know that there was a business targeting them and their needs.
I take less clients now; not because they're not coming in the door but because we screen better. I also refer people out to affiliates, private matchmakers I know that I've worked with who are really good at what they do and that have specialties; I've got an Asian matchmaker, I have someone who only works with women over 40…there are specialists and I will send them out accordingly. If you come to me I won't just take your money, I'm going to send you to the right place, provided you're a good fit for them.
Al Norton: Have you changed anything since you started watching yourself on TV?
Patti Stanger: HDTV; that's the biggest kick-ass of a diet there is.
Al Norton: What are the biggest mistakes people make in choosing their partners?
Patti Stanger: I think they base it on physical attraction and don't look under the hood. They take a quick look and then forget that there is a person under there. Do you have things in common? Are your moral values the same? Do you want the same things at the same time? If a guy doesn't want children and a woman does, I don't care how much you love each other, it's not going to work. You have to really qualify people.
Al Norton: At this point the stigma of meeting someone on-line is gone, right?
Patti Stanger: On-line is great, on-line is great, but it should only be 30% of your process. I have a site called PSXOXO with JDate and the Spark Network people; it's not a Jewish site, it's for anyone who wants to meet someone with advice driven by me.
Al Norton: Any update on your wedding plans?
Patti Stanger: On the show you'll see some of the wedding planning. It's not the whole show but it's probably 20%. You'll get to see me try on wedding dresses from my favorite designer, which was fantastic.
Al Norton: For someone who hasn't watched the show before and might not think this was their type of thing, what kind of pitch would you give?
Patti Stanger: I'd say that it's for anyone who is single, married, or in a relationship. There are plenty of tips along the way on how to stay in love. It's not about millionaires and it's not about hot girls Bacheloretting it, it's about people finding someone to sustain love with forever, because that is the hardest thing we will do in our lifetimes. It's hard to find and it's hard to keep. Like I said, there are a lot of tips along the way, and we've got a lot of matches this season.
Al Norton: It strikes me as odd that dating shows are as popular as ever when on so many of those shows, the relationships never work.
Patti Stanger: Do you want to know why they are popular? People like the cat fight and they like the drama. You give them the real romantic stuff of people falling in love and they are like, "uggh." They like drama, that's why they are watching Jersey Shore.
Al Norton: Don't get me started.
Patti Stanger: I'm from Jersey, don't get me started.
Don't miss the season premiere of Millionaire Matchmaker, tonight at 10 pm on Bravo
