The Sagacious Spectator 01.21.10: Top 20 Movies of the 00s

Posted by Steve Yanosey on 01.21.2010

To see the 20 best movies you’ve never heard of and have never seen because you aren’t cool enough, visit Pitchfork.com...

Lists are fun to make, and – let's face it – they're easier to digest than straight-up articles, what with the latter's filling paragraphs and heapings of requisite attention span. The list is the fast-food version of internet writing (which itself is already literary junk food) since they're both easy, quick, and leave you starving for actual nourishment as soon as you're finished.

The following represent my favorite movies of the last ten years, regardless of genre. Before anyone rips me to pieces for leaving out one of their favorites, these are my favorite movies, and thus, limited to what I've seen. However, do feel free to rip me a new one for anything else.

So here they are, in no particular order:

Casino Royale



All the Bond nerds that screamed "No!" when they heard Daniel Craig was cast as Bond were soon eating their words after Craig took over from Remington Steele in 2006. Craig brought the character back to his roots as a blunt, amoral, and brutal assassin, and the opening black-and-white segment where he drowns a guy in a men's room was a classy way to demonstrate this new mentality. And it was all up-hill from there. It's a shame they couldn't match it with Quantum of Solace, but Craig's signed on for at least one more turn as 007, so he's got another chance to crank out one more great installment. They gotta bring back Martin Campbell, who's responsible for the all best recent Bond movies.

Black Hawk Down

This one's tied for best war movie of the decade. It broke a lot of new faces onto the scene, like Eric Bana, Josh Hartnett, Ioan Gruffudd and Orlando Bloom, adding to an already-great ensemble that featured Jeremy Piven, Jason Isaacs, Ron Eldard, Sam Shepard, William Fichtner, and Ewan McGregor. Besides being a well-told war story, it's definitely at least second on the list of the fifteen best movies where Tom Sizemore plays a complete psychopath (True Romance and Heat being tied for first in that category). On top of the great cast, you have Ridley Scott, who knows how to make an action film. He'll pop up one more time before this list is over.

American Psycho

American Psycho kicked off a pretty busy decade for Christian Bale, not to mention kicking off a huge debate as to whether or not his character, Patrick Bateman, actually killed anyone in this movie. Bret Easton Ellis, the author of the novel that the film is based on, has said that he purposely left it ambiguous and that the murders are really a side note anyway, as the main purpose of the film was to satirize 1980's urban excess and Patrick Bateman's desire to conform by getting into the most famous restaurants, buying the most expensive clothes, and listening to the blandest, most widely accepted Top 40 music of his day. If you haven't already, check this book out. It's ten times gorier and ten times funnier, which is really saying something.

The Dark Knight

There is nothing to left to say about this movie that hasn't already been said a million times. It's Heat with comic book characters, and I mean that as a gigantic compliment. I really hope that they find a way to do something different for the movie's third installment, because they're never going to be able to top this one. Who's left that fits in with the new series' verisimilitude? Definitely not Mr. Freeze or Killer Kroc. What they should do is fast forward 30 years and make The Dark Knight Returns (they shouldn't have wasted that title already) and bring back Jack Nicholson as the Joker. Or maybe not, I don't know. Whatever they decide to do is definitely going to be a surprise because I cannot comprehend how to follow this installment.

Anchorman



Someone I once knew said, "Anchorman is some kind of weird, abstract masterpiece that gets funnier each time you watch it." Bingo. Will Ferrell is some kind of comedic savant, because there are new subtleties I notice each new time I watch it. The topper is the jazz flute scene when Ron says he isn't prepared to play and then slides the flute out of his sleeve without thinking twice. This movie also deserves credit for discovering the comedic genius of Paul Rudd, who, outside of Friends, hadn't really been in anything note-worthy since Clueless up to that point and for giving a huge chunk of screen time to Steve Carell, who hadn't yet made it huge with The 40 Year-Old Virgin. As for me, I still can't believe I haven't yet watched Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie. I'm only hurting myself.

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Yes, this counts as one entry. Its over-simplified moralizing is tedious, and the whole "fair-skinned men of the north/west marching on to take on the turban-wearing, curved-blade wielding, dark-skinned men (and monsters) of the south/east" is somewhat disturbing, but Peter Jackson's presentation is so memorable and the actors' interpretations are so endearing and earnest, that it makes you pretty sure Tolkien couldn't have possibly had any nefarious subtext in mind. Or at least you hope not.

Tolkien apologists out there: Spare me the argument that Tolkien wasn't writing allegorically – you have to admit that the parallels are a bit coincidental. I'm not a big conspiracy theory guy, but the entire series operates on the premise that race governs behavior and personality.

The Hurt Locker

Jeremy Renner finally knocked one out with this character piece about soldiers who specialize in diffusing bombs. I feel like I've seen Renner in about a million films since the beginning of the decade, and I'm glad he was finally able to gain the mass respect he deserves. We'll be seeing him in a ton of shit these next few years, most likely as Hawkeye in an Avengers movie. Personally, I'd rather see him stick to doing the quirkier films that he does so well. Unless they pick him up for Gears of War, a rumor I'd like to continue to spread (note to person who told me to "Check [my] facts, fool!" in regards to my Gears casting article: That column was my opinion on what the cast could/should be, it wasn't based on the latest "facts" on IMDB that will change 400 times before the movie actually gets made).

Pan's Labyrinth

Finally, a movie that combines two of my favorite things: World War II and talking farm animals. It had the best use of special effects I've ever seen, not to mention there is no creepier part in a movie than the dinner table scene with the dude with the eyes on his hands. This was also the movie that solidified my contention that it should be Guillermo Del Toro who helms a Gears of War movie franchise. The odder and quirkier he can make it, the better.

No Country for Old Men

A lot of people bitch over the weird, abrupt ending, but I like to pretend that I understand it when I discuss it with others. There's something oddly hypnotic about Javier Bardem's haircut, too, and it was good to finally add another Goonie to the all-too-short list of Child Actors Who Won't Eventually Kill Themselves . I highly recommend the Cormac McCarthy novel for anyone looking to polish off an excellent book in one sitting. His writing has this mesmerizing, waking dream quality, which I attribute to the fact that he doesn't use quotation marks for speaking characters.

Gladiator

I probably gushed enough over this movie last week. The biggest trend-setter as far as period epics go this decade and cementing Russell Crowe's status as my all-time favorite actor (the guy's good-bad movie ratio is like 19-1), even though the movie's plot is the same as Braveheart's (except only the kilts and woad are replaced with togas and sandals) and Maximus' haircut looks like Lloyd Christmas'. Ridley and Russell are so good together that I guarantee that Robin Hood, which comes out later this spring, will be the best epic of the next decade, barring some sort of miracle break-through in movie technology later in the next ten years.

The Departed

I wrote about this one a few weeks ago, too. It was the best mob movie of the decade and it completely reversed my opinion of Leonardo DiCaprio. I'll also argue that it has the coolest soundtrack of any movie, ever. Only Martin Scorsese could set a scene where The Beach Boys, Nas, Roy Buchanan, and The Dropkick Murphys can peacefully coexist to underscore an already brilliant narrative. He even finds a way to weave in a tango-flavored score from Howard Shore and, of course, "Gimme Shelter" by the Rolling Stones.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

The guy at work who sits behind you has probably beaten this movie to death a hundred times over with his endless dronings of "My wife… she's dead!", but I've never laughed harder at anything I've seen since Dumb & Dumber. I saw Bruno a few months ago and I gotta admit: I was let down, even though I knew there was no way he was going to be able to match Borat. It will be interesting to see what direction Sacha Baron Cohen goes in next (I have no clue because I don't have IMDB Pro), because he's probably going to have to drop the faux-documentary schtick and try something new.

The Bourne Trilogy

Also counts as one flick. I considered leaving this one off as punishment for introducing us to the "vomit-cam" hand-held approach to filmmaking. It also has fight sequences featuring quick screen cuts that will make your brain leak out of your ears. Nevertheless, this series allowed Matt Damon to be "bourne" again hard (sorry) and completely pull away from Ben Affleck to take the lead in their secret competition. Although Affleck was quite good (read: not as bad as usual) in last year's State of Play.

Mystic River

All the main leads – Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, and Tim Robbins – turn in their best stuff, giving Boston a strong showing in my top twenty. I knew I was watching an incredible movie during the scene where Penn is fighting off about 20 cops to see if it's his daughter in the well. On top of the cast, Clint Eastwood was just beginning his ‘00 streak with this movie, after a slow start with the plodding, nursing home double-feature of Blood Work and Space Cowboys. He would only hit his stride, as Million Dollar Baby, Gran Torino, and Invictus were all still to come at this point.

Battlefield Earth

No, just kidding. John Travolta is insane, obviously. The poor guy hasn't made a great movie since 1995's Get Shorty, and that's only because he had Gene Hackman, James Gandolfini, and Dennis Farina helping him out. Face/Off was a nice stop-gap, but that was about 13 years back, and we all know why Swordfish is bearable. A word to the wise: Anytime you're going to a movie and John Travolta's in it sporting a weird haircut, run the other way. Quickly.

Superman Returns

Superman Returns has a lot of haters. I can understand why. It's pretty slow, Superman looks like a wax figurine and his costume is sky blue and brown. I liked this movie, though. It has heart and it's a nice homage to the old Chris Reeve movies. It's a shame Brandon Routh probably won't be coming back, but it's cool to shake things up every now and then and try someone else's interpretation of the character. They really do need to drop that shower curtain cape and the plastic S and figure out a way to do the costume justice without those damn undies. The costume designers are screwed no matter what, though. If they stick too close to the vest, the costume looks corny and campy. If they try to do something different, 8 million nerds living in their mom's basements will simultaneously bring the internet to a halt by jamming Warner Brothers' message boards with the filthiest language imaginable.

Narc



An overlooked masterpiece from the beginning of the decade, with an ending you'll never be able to see coming. Funny story concerning Ray Liotta: a few weeks before I saw this movie, I was in a Blockbuster in Scotch Plains, NJ on New Year's Day, hungover and home from college on a nice long break. I'm looking through the new releases when I hear these two guys next to me looking at some Eddie Murphy movie and laughing about what crap it must be. I glance over because the guy's voice sounds familiar, and I can see that he's covered from head to toe in black with a Yankees hat pulled low over his face. Suddenly, I see the baby blues. The following exchange takes place:

Me: "Hey, wow… You're…"

Ray Liotta: (visibly annoyed at being recognized) "*Sigh*… Yeah…"

Me: (visibly excited at recognizing Ray Liotta and trying desperately to be cool while failing miserably, before walking away and saying) "Don't worry, I'm not gonna, like, cause a scene or anything…"

Apparently he was in the area, because I saw him on SNL a few days later. I drove home from Blockbuster that day hating my boring, non-celebrity life.

Spider-Man 2

Spider-Man's own The Dark Knight, except not as good, which is to say it's still pretty excellent. This was definitely the movie that captured the essences of the main characters… and Alfred Molina as Doc Ock is still best Spidey villain yet. The best side effect of this movie, however, was spawning the single greatest Playstation 2 game ever created, also called Spider-Man 2, which played like an unholy marriage of Spidey and Grand Theft Auto. Director Marc Webb (brace yourself for an endless deluge of horrible, horrible puns in the coming months) has a lot to live up to when he takes over.

Zoolander

Another gem that had people quoting it so much that they sucked the life out of it, but it did provide me and a few friends with an awesome idea for Halloween costumes back in 2002. I never thought I'd look so good with spiky permed hair (because I didn't). This movie spawned about 4,000 catchphrases, is still on TNT three times a month, made me happy that Owen Wilson didn't succeed in offing himself, and features Eric Northman from True Blood as Meekus. He's come a long way.

A History of Violence

A gangster film mixed with a John Hughes family. The coffee shop robbery and its resultant bloodshed is oddly mesmerizing. Come to think of it, all of the fight scenes in the movie are, including the one where the son beats the tar out of the school bully. A History of Violence will surprise you with its willingness to embrace its more graphic aspects, and with its twists toward the end. Vigoo Mortensen is perfectly cast as Tom Stall, the man with the mysterious past and so is Ed Harris, personifying the past that comes back to haunt Tom. I guess they sorted out their differences, though, because they're partners in Appaloosa.

Seraphim Falls



Ok. This is my one pick that nobody probably saw. Seraphim Falls is a super cool-looking western with Pierce Brosnan and Liam Neeson and is a must-see for anyone who's into Westerns or American history. Leave it to an Irishman and a Welshman to make the best Western of the decade. The first half-hour is notable for having almost no dialogue at all but this is where the movie is strongest, as it follows Neeson trailing Brosnan through snow-covered mountains. It starts to lose a bit of steam towards the ending, which takes you out of the movie so much that it borders on the obnoxious, but the rest of the movie is so beautifully shot that you can overlook this one offense.


So that's it. Tune in January 20, 2020, when I present my Top 20 Favorite Films of the 10's, featuring that hardcore porno movie Lindsey Lohan makes in 2014 and Terminator 5, where Christian Bale bludgeons a key grip to death with a serving spoon from catering.