The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 1.25.10: Issue #90 - The Book of Eli Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 01.25.2010
In this issue, I once again take a look at a movie currently in theatres, "The Book of Eli" (2010), and then a small tribute to B-movie legend Robert Ginty
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #90: "The Book of Eli" (2010)
Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that can't start a car with its mind (although it has tried to several times only to end up incredibly disappointed), The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number ninety, I once again take a look at a movie that's currently playing in theatres, the post apocalyptic action flick "The Book of Eli" starring the great Denzel Washington.
The Book of Eli
"The Book of Eli," directed by Albert and Allen Hughes, the Hughes Brothers, is, despite its A-list cast and obvious mega budget, at its heart, a full on B-movie. It's a post apocalyptic vision of the almost end of the world and its slow reconstitution (sort of like all of those "Mad Max" movies and their cheap as hell Italian rip-offs). Sure, it tries to be important and profound but, in the end, it can't escape its B-movie origins. It would have been great if the Hughes Brothers had fully embraced that fact instead of trying to make the movie "significant." As a result, the movie isn't nearly as good as it should be. It's still pretty dang good, bordering on being great, but it's missing something.
The flick stars Denzel Washington as Eli, a mysterious loner that's been walking across the now destroyed United States for thirty years, traveling west because he has to deliver a book to someone. The book, the King James Holy Christian Bible, is believed to be the last one left in the known world (after the event that caused the near total destruction of the world the survivors destroyed every Bible and, presumably, every other religious text, because they all believed that the Bible caused the end of the world). While passing through a bustling town looking for supplies Eli gets into a bar fight that brings him to the attention of Carnegie (Gary Oldman), the ruler of the town. Carnegie, one of the few people that were alive before the apocalypse and who can read (most everyone in this new world is illiterate), wants Eli's Bible because he thinks he can use it to expand his empire and rule more people (Carnegie also wants Eli to hang around in town and become a member of his ruling gang because Eli is a bad ass killer with a huge ass knife). After offering up the daughter of his girlfriend (the daughter, Solara, is played by Mila Kunis, and the girlfriend is Claudia, as played by Jennifer Beals), Carnegie figures that the stranger Eli will fall in line and do what he says (and why not? Everyone else has). But Eli being Eli, a man on a mission, he rejects all of Carnegie's offers and continues on his journey west. Carnegie, insanely pissed off that anyone would reject his offer, decides to just kill Eli and take his Bible. With the help of his lead goon Redridge (the Punisher hisself Ray Stevenson), Carnegie attacks Eli on the streets of his town, only to surprisingly fail (Redridge, a dead shot, can't put Eli down for some reason).
After regrouping, Carnegie and his goon squad chase after Eli, who now has a few miles head start (poor Carnegie. If he hadn't been shot by Eli in the street clash he wouldn't have had to get patched up by his medical staff and he could have gone after the mysterious walker immediately). Tagging along with Eli is Solara, who wants to get out from under the thumb of Carnegie and explore the world. Eli doesn't want her to come with him (he walks alone), but, after showing him the location of a secret natural spring chock full of fresh water and rescuing her from a band of cannibal rapists, Eli decides that he can't leave her alone. She won't survive without him. So, he lets her come along with him. Will Eli get to his destination and fulfill his destiny? Will Carnegie catch up to Eli and kill him and take his Bible?
The one thing you'll notice about "The Book of Eli" is its seeming lack of action scenes. The flick has plenty of them but, towards the end, the movie starts to slow down and get all profound. There's no real final confrontation between the good guys and the bad guys. The movie does have a nice twist at the end which kind of makes up for the lack of a big final action scene but doesn't quite get the job done. It's kind of shocking, actually, since the Hughes Brothers are quite good at staging action scenes, both big and small. You'll no doubt revel in Eli's knife fighting skills as he is quite deadly with the blade (we've seen a guy take out a dozen guys with only a knife plenty of times but not with the kind of style on display here) and you'll dig how the gun battles tend to start out small and then escalate. There's also a pretty nifty scene involving a house out in the middle of nowhere, a house that Eli and Solora take refuge in until they realize what goes on there. After trying to leave the hilariously deranged old couple George and Martha (Michael Gambon and Frances de la Tour), Carnegie's heavily armed goons show up and a shoot out ensues. Just an awesome, awesome scene.
You'll also notice how the characters never really explain, in detail, what happened that caused civilization to collapse. Was it a worldwide religious conflict? That's what the movie kind of hints at as the reason for the near destruction of the world but it never says specifically. That'll probably annoy a lot of people but I enjoy how the characters don't dwell on the past all that much. I also quite liked how the Hughes Brothers fill the movie with cannibals but then never show anyone getting eaten and it doesn't feel like a cheat. That's hard to do. The one thing I would like to know is how long the radiation from the nuclear bombs lasted. I mean, that is what's falling from the sky at the beginning of the movie, isn't it? You know, the scene where Eli has what appears to be a gas mask on and tries to kill that hairless cat with a big ass arrow? We never see it happen again.
Now, what about the flick's "religious" message? I mean, if the movie is essentially about the Bible, it's got to have a religious message in it, right? I guess the best way to describe the flick's religious message is like this: religion can be a good thing. Yes, people can and will use it to destroy and kill and conquer, but religion can be a force for good in the world and in people. People just have to be vigilant about it and make sure it doesn't get turned into a means of destruction. In other words, the movie's religious message isn't about shit like the Rapture or people going to Hell. It's a positive message about life. Watch the flick's final ten minutes and look at the people involved in it.
The performances are pretty dang great throughout. Washington is fucking awesome as Eli. He's a bad ass killer on a mission. He's great in the action sequences, especially the knife fights (who knew Denzel could kick ass like that?). He's also brilliant in the quiet scenes where he explains what the Bible means to him and what it is his mission is. He also makes Mila Kunis look good as an actor, as he carries her through every scene (more on her in a second). He won't win any major acting awards for this movie, but Washington deserves all kinds of praise for his turn here as Eli. Just awesome, awesome stuff.
Gary Oldman is back playing a bad guy, and he's clearly having a ball as Carnegie. He only gets one scene where he appears to be a fairly decent human being (he washes his girlfriend's hair with one of the last bottles of shampoo known to mankind), but then thinking back to that scene later on when you see just what kind of nasty bastard Carnegie is you realize that even then he wasn't a decent human being. Carnegie is a ruthless prick that will kill people without a second thought to get what he wants. People are scared of him. Oldman is top notch here. Awesome stuff.
Ray Stevenson, the Punisher, kicks ass as Redridge. He's in full on Punisher mode here, shooting a guy in the head at point blank range and just generally being a menace. Jennifer Beals, who only gets a few scenes as Carnegie's girlfriend Claudia, does a great job anyway playing a blind woman. You're going to love her final scene. Tom Waits shows up as a local engineer and he does a pretty decent job playing a weirdo. And, of course, Michael Gambon and Frances de la Tour are hilarious as George and Martha. They're heavily armed disco lovers with a penchant for being uncivilized (you'll know what I mean when you see the movie). I know I'd love to see a movie all about them.
And then there's Mila Kunis as Solara. Kunis, while cute and hot and all that, isn't a very good actress when it comes to drama (she's not bad in comedies). Washington makes her look good when he's on screen with her, but in an overall sense she doesn't really work as Solara. It's very hard to believe in her. And am I the only one that has a problem with her final scene? Isn't it a tad bit ridiculous?
Despite its need to be profound and "elevate the genre," "The Book of Eli" is a pretty dang decent time at the movies. It's absorbing, exciting, and its got Denzel fucking Washington killing people with a big ass knife. Very cool stuff indeed. If you haven't made an effort to see "The Book of Eli," do it and do it now. It's the best ultra religious post apocalyptic sci-fi action flick you're likely to see this year.
See "The Book of Eli." See it, see it, see it.
So what do we have here? Gratuitous spooky forest with what appears to be nuclear fallout ash falling from the sky, a skinny hairless cat, cat killing, gratuitous Denzel Washington, gratuitous Denzel Washington walking alone in slow motion, massive highway destruction, house hunting with very dead guy hanging in the closet, shoe stealing, dead cat eating, gratuitous mouse eating a cooked piece of dead cat, gratuitous Denzel Washington listening to dilapidated I-pod, gratuitous Denzel Washington washing himself with KFC alcohol wipes, gratuitous Bible reading, attempted ambush with Denzel Washington killing a bunch of guys in silhouette, a very slow stabbing, a Busch beer sign, staying on the path, more Denzel Washington walking in slow motion, gratuitous Gary Oldman, gratuitous Gary Oldman reading a book about Mussolini, The DaVinci Code, an "Oprah" magazine, gratuitous Jennifer Beals, gratuitous Gary Oldman washing Jennifer Beals' hair, gratuitous constant hand inspection, gratuitous Tom Waits, gratuitous Mila Kunis, teeth breaking, nose breaking, yet another knife fight where Denzel Washington kicks major ass, gratuitous Ray Stevenson, attempted prostitution, gratuitous Gary Oldman playing chess with a blind woman, gratuitous exposition, praying, gratuitous Gary Oldman acting like a mean and nasty bastard, a wicked head shot, more exposition, gratuitous street shootout, gratuitous natural spring, getting a posse together, rapist attack, arrow through the balls, arrow through the neck, bird killing, a destroyed nuclear reactor, gratuitous Denzel Washington reading the Bible out loud, a K-Mart name tag, a house out in the middle of nowhere, a trap door attack, gratuitous Frances de la Tour and Michael Gambon, an old crank record player, gratuitous "Ring My Bell," a backyard cemetery, a couch full of guns, a box bomb, a motherfucking RPG, a crank Gatling gun, bullet to the chest, grenade attack with massive truck destruction, knife through the chest, a destroyed Golden Gate bridge, a boat trip, gratuitous cameo, a big twist involving both the Bible and Washington's character, a printing press, and a ridiculous ending.
Best lines: "What do you want for breakfast?," "The only good thing about no soap is that you can smell hijackers a mile away," "Stay on the path," "That was my cat," "I like your perfume," "So, how old are you?," "If you're not talking about the book I'm not talking about the water," "You shut your mouth," "Oh, I love this guy. Shoot him, please," "I don't like being followed," "Have you washed your filthy fucking hands?," "I walk by faith, not by sight," "This is weird," "Go check the TV. The what? You're fucking shitting me," "Where's your protection now?," "Pray for me," "You smell that?," and "Could you get us some writing paper, please?"
Rating: 8.5/10.0
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Robert Ginty 1948-2009 RIP
I didn't know Robert Ginty was dead. He apparently died on September 21st last year. He was 61. I saw his name and picture in the "In Memoriam" section of Saturday's "Screen Actors Guild Awards" show. Thinking back, I know why I missed it (I was going through a bit of a family crisis at the time and was kind of out of it). It was shocking to see regardless. How the hell could Robert Ginty be dead?
Ginty was a pretty decent character actor. He's probably best known for playing the flame thrower wielding 'Nam vet vigilante John Eastland, or "The Exterminator" in 1980's "The Exterminator" and 1984's "Exterminator 2." I'll always remember him as The Rider in the classic ultra cheap Italian sci-fi action flick "Warrior of the Lost World" (you can read my review of that flick here). He was also pretty cool in the comedy "Madhouse" with John Larroquette and Kirstie Alley. His TV work was good, too (he did a bunch of guest spots in the
1980's).
I plan on tracking down some of Ginty's other B-movies (like "Code Name Vengeance" and "The Bounty Hunter" and "Cop Target"), so be on the lookout for those reviews in the future (I have no idea when they'll happen, but I'm going to make an effort to see them).
You will be missed, Mr. Ginty. At least we'll always have your movies.
And, like I said in my review of "Warrior of the Lost World," isn't it about time for Ginty to get an action figure as the Rider? Or maybe The Exterminator? I think it is.
Robert Ginty 1948-2009 RIP
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And now, a little bit about "Live Evil"
"Live Evil," the great new Tim Thomerson vampire flick (also featuring an appearance by horror legend Ken Foree) is currently on Video on Demand. Check out my review for the flick here, and then, if it's on your cable system, order it. It's a great flick that's well worth the price.
The flick now also has a firm DVD release date. According to its MySpace page, "Live Evil" will hit DVD February 23rd, 2010. That's only a few short weeks away, so remember that date, and be sure to keep an eye on the MySpace page and the flick's new Facebook page for further updates/developments.
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Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that. And if there's anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I'm always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.
And don't forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You'll be glad you did.
"The Book of Eli"
Denzel Washington- Eli Gary Oldman- Carnegie Mila Kunis- Solara Ray Stevenson- Redridge Jennifer Beals- Claudia Frances de la Tour- Martha Michael Gambon- George Tom Waits- Engineer
Directed by Albert Hughes and Allen Hughes
Screenplay by Gary Whitta
Distributed by Warner Bros.
Rated Rfor some brutal violence and language Runtime- 118 minutes
