The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 2.08.10: Issue #92 - Ten Dead Men Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 02.08.2010
In this issue I take a look at the low budget British flick "Ten Dead Men" (2008).
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #92: "Ten Dead Men" (2008)
Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that can't split an atom with its mind (although I've never really tried to, so maybe I really can split an atom with my mind. I'll have to give it a shot in the future), The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number ninety-two, I take a look at the low budget British action flick "Ten Dead Men" which came out in 2008.
Ten Dead Men (2008)
"Ten Dead Men," directed by Ross Boyask, is one of those low budget action movies that tries to be something more than a low budget action movie. It isn't a profound movie watching experience that makes you think about something afterwards (the flick's story, credited to Boyask and Phil Hobden, with a screenplay by Chris Regan, is pretty much a straight up revenge story with a few twists thrown in but, all in all, it's pretty standard). Instead, "Ten Dead Men" is a movie that's all style over substance. The story is all jumbled up with flashbacks and flash forwards and the flick uses a narrator (Pinhead hisself Doug Bradley) to explain what's going on and "depth" to the main character, Ryan (Brendan Carr), who has only one line in the movie. And, shockingly, the flick's jumbled up style actually works.
Carr's Ryan is a former mob enforcer/assassin that got out of the business after meeting the love of his life, Amy (Pooja Shah). Despite his disdain for his former life, Ryan agrees to help out an old friend named Axel (John Rackham), someone Ryan owes a blood debt to. After fulfilling his debt to Axel, Ryan is attacked by his former employer's goons (his former employer, a man named Hart, as played by Terry Stone, is none too happy with Ryan's sudden need to come back and wants Ryan dealt with. At least I think that's what happens. I'm still a little fuzzy on that part. I guess the specific details really don't matter. Hart wants Ryan dead). Lead by a man called "The Project Manager," the assault on Ryan begins by kidnapping both Ryan and Amy, beating the crap out of Ryan, and then forcing him to watch as Amy is shot to death in an abandoned building. Ryan is then shot several times and left to die on a beach.
Man, did the Project Manager and the rest of Hart's goons make a big fucking mistake. Filled with rage and hate and the need for revenge, Ryan quickly recuperates and decides to go after his former mon mates one by one. As the Narrator says several times, Ryan's life was destroyed by ten men, and by the end of the story Ryan plans on killing those ten men. And so that's what Ryan does, starting out with a man named Harris (Lee Latchford-Evans) and then working his way up the chain. Ryan isn't going to stop. But will Hart's men figure out what Ryan's up to and deal with him before he finds them and kills them?
I've never been a fan of movies with narrators throughout the bulk of the movie. Unless it's done really, really well, voice over narration that lasts more than a few minutes at most just drags the movie down. "Ten Dead Men" does voice over narration really, really well, so it's the exception to the rule. It works. It helps that the narrator is a guy like Doug Bradley, who is simply awesome, and that the man he's basically speaking for, Brendan Carr, is a brilliant physical presence that says things with his body. The man is a total bad ass. When he walks at you you just know he's going to destroy you. You don't stand a chance. He also knows how use his face and his eyes to express himself (his scenes with Pooja Shah's Amy are great because of this. He's not doing anything but he's actually doing everything). I don't know if Carr has the chops just yet to carry a big budget action movie, but he has the necessary charisma and presence to make a low budget B-movie work and work well. Great, great stuff.
The rest of the cast is decent. Terry Stone makes gang leader Hart a total scumbag (I loved the way he bites it in the end), and Keith Eyles as the Project Manager is one of the smoothest bad guys in recent memory. J.C. Mac and Jason Lee Hyde are hilarious as Parker and Garrett, two constantly arguing hitmen (I can easily see someone doing a single camera sitcom of these two as hitmen). And John Rackham is just awesome as Axel because you're never really sure where he's coming from but you still like him anyway. I think you'll also like the way he gets done in (I know I loved it). There are many, many more great performances but those are the ones that stand out.
Now, the movie does have its problems. The sound is kind of soft and iffy at times, and the editing is kind of choppy and confusing in some of the fight scenes. The brick wall thing that the movie uses for its opening credits sequence gets kind of old after a while (although I did like the way the movie uses the brick wall to introduce us to the characters in the movie. The names could have appeared a tad bigger onscreen, but it's a pretty cool way to get the movie's ball rolling). The music got kind of old, too (if the movie had been a little shorter maybe the music wouldn't have been as annoying towards the end).
Even with those issues, you should definitely check out "Ten Dead Men" if you see it on the shelves of your local video store (I doubt it's ever been on TV in the United States, although it may have appeared already on TV in other countries). It's a pretty dang decent low budget B-movie that's chock full of energy and style. Despite its limitations, "Ten Dead Men" works.
See it, see it, see it now. It's worth a look.
So what do we have here? Gratuitous voice over by Doug "Pinhead" Bradley, gratuitous montage of a bald guy killing people, an up close shot to the head with blood splatter, gratuitous bald guy digging a bullet out of his abdomen, gratuitous pictures on a brick wall, a human punching bag, baseball bat to the face, gratuitous flashbacks and flash forwards, bullet to the stomach, another bullet to the head with blood splatter, gratuitous gas station mugging, vegetable cutting, booze drinking, duct tape bandages, a theft of pain medication, a crack house robbery, gratuitous dog racing montage, strangulation, photo ripping, one of the hottest prostitutes in low budget B-movie history, face washing, hand drying, ashtray to the head, gratuitous low budget public bathroom kung fu fight, gratuitous British oval short track scene, wrist breaking, body kicking, dropkick and full body throw, arm snapping, gut stabbing, baseball bat to the head, finger cutting, gratuitous funny hitmen, gratuitous cage fighting, a hilarious porno, a severed finger, gratuitous kung fu fight in an abandoned building, attempted arm breaking, bottle to the head, face kicking, chair bondage, a plastic bag filled with trophies, off screen jaw removal, off screen death by big ass machete, heel slicing, barfing, knife torture, power drill to the knee, attempted chain strangulation, multiple head butts, a small sledgehammer, pulled teeth, gratuitous flashback suffocation via plastic bag with bloody mouth, a roadside beat down with vicious neck breaking, gratuitous "Commando" homage, a hilarious man on fire gag, some of the worst shots in low budget movie history, a wall body slam, eye gouging, knife to the side of the neck, throwing knife hooey, a two shit six shooter, gratuitous reverse jump dropkick, a back flip double chin kick, penis shooting, gratuitous low budget exploding building, newspaper destruction, broken glass stabbing, eye removal, exploding car, and yet another up close bullet to the head.
Best lines: "Once, not so long ago, Ryan was happy," "Have you any idea what time it is?," "You owe me this, remember?," "One down, nine to go," "You'll find another job, baby. You always do," "Jesus fucking Christ! You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!," "Who the fuck are you?," "Don't worry, I'm having the windows blacked out next week," "Keep it clean, fellas, keep it clean," "Do I really need to read you your rights, Donnie?," "You cocksucker," "Everyone wants to take on the champion," "I don't know a fucking thing, honest!," "You've been a bad boy, Axel," "Do you have any idea who is sitting outside your house watching right now?," "Not so fucking tough now, are you?," "Detective Keller, please, compose yourself," "Feeling any better?," "Go on, do it. I deserve it, We both know I deserve it," "This is a serious car for serious people," "I must confess, when I took on this job I had no idea it would so satisfying," "You think you deserve this, don't you, Ryan?," and "I killed Hart two days ago."
Rating: 8.0/10.0
***
And now, a little bit about "Live Evil"
"Live Evil," the great new Tim Thomerson vampire flick (also featuring an appearance by horror legend Ken Foree) is currently on Video on Demand. Check out my review for the flick here, and then, if it's on your cable system, order it. It's a great flick that's well worth the price.
There's been a bit of a change on the DVD front. According to the flick's Facebook page, "Live Evil" will now hit DVD July 13th, 2010 instead of February 23rd, 2010. That's several months away, which is a bummer, but at least the movie is eventually coming out. So, let's all try to remember the new release date (July 13th, 2010), and be sure to keep an eye on the flick's MySpace page and the flick's Facebook page for further updates/developments.
***
Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that. And if there's anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I'm always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.
And don't forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You'll be glad you did.
"Ten Dead Men"
Brendan Carr- Ryan Terry Stone- Hart Doug Bradley- The Narrator Pooja Shah- Amy John Rackham- Axel Keith Eyles- Project Manager Ben Shockley- Keller J.C. Mac- Parker Jason Lee Hyde- Garrett Phil Hobden- Stone Tom Gerald- Bruiser Lee Latchford-Evans- Harris Silvio Simac- Loomis
Directed by Ross Boyask Screenplay by Chris Regan, based on a story by Ross Boyask and Phil Hobden
Distributed by MTI Home Video
Rated Rfor pervasive bloody violence, language and some sexuality/nudity Runtime- 90 minutes
