The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 3.08.10: Issue #96 - Treasure Raiders Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 03.08.2010
In this issue I review the Russian action flick from 2007 "Treasure Raiders" featuring David Carradine. Read on to find out if it's worth checking out.
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #96: "Treasure Raiders" (2007)
Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never been attacked by a circus clown with a baseball bat, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number ninety-six, I take a look at "Treasure Raiders," the big hooha Russian action flick from 2007 starring Steven Brand, Alexander Nevsky, and David Carradine.
Treasure Raiders (2007)
"Treasure Raiders" comes to us from the same essential team that brought us the incredibly bad "Moscow Heat" (check out my review of that flick here), but unlike "Moscow Heat," "Treasure Raiders" is actually pretty decent. It's not a great action movie, sure, but the good stuff heavily outweighs the bad. The movie, directed by Brent Huff (he was in the great giant killer ants in a high rise flick directed by Fred Olen Ray "Glass Trap" which I reviewed here), is probably a tad too complicated for its own good, but everyone involved is game for the story and through sheer force of effort the movie succeeds.
The flick stars Steven Brand as Michael Nazzaro, an American archaeology professor who teaches class during the day at Moscow University and races in illegal street races at night (as you'd expect, Nazzaro does this for the thrill and the money). During his spare time, Nazzaro researches the history of the Knights Templar and searches for any and all treasures they may have hidden around the world. In fact, Nazzaro has an old family book passed down from generation to generation that he believes has the answers he needs to find a different old book, but he can't decipher his old book's message. There's a coded message in the book's margins that just doesn't make sense.
One night, after being beaten in an illegal street race by the famous Wolf (Alexander Nevsky. More on him in a second), Nazzaro meets the uber hot Masha Bolkov (Olga Rodionova), a fan of his archaeological work. Masha leads Nazzaro to the Curator (Albert Filozov), a somewhat shady Russian researcher (he's not shady because he's corrupt. He's shady because he's a big old nerd) that has some insight into what Nazzaro is looking for. Meanwhile, the incredibly shady Pierre (David Carradine) keeps showing up every now and then to discuss things with Nazzaro. See, Pierre is a rich guy from France that's a bit of a self styled expert on the 13th and 14th centuries who also claims to have some insight to give Nazzaro in regards to the search for the old book. You really can't trust him, though, not because he's French but because he's David Carradine.
Now, with all of that going on, there's another story at play here involving Nevsky's Wolf and a renowned Russian drug runner named the Beekeeper (William Shockley). See, when Wolf isn't winning illegal street races and running his night club, he works as a pseudo street vigilante, doing whatever he can to throw a monkey wrench into the Beekeeper's drug operation. The Beekeeper doesn't like that, and has made it his mission in life to find the Wolf and take him out (well, the Beekeeper also has the extra added incentive to do as his mysterious boss tells him because otherwise his boss will kill him). When we find out what Lena (Sherilyn Fenn) is really doing with Wolf (they're in a committed relationship. I don't think they're married, though, not officially anyway) it doesn't take a genius to figure out what strategy the Beekeeper is going to use to try to get at Wolf.
And in top of all of that there's the Russian police trying to figure out who the bad guys and who the good guys really are. Lead by Cronin (the Wishmaster/Cherry Ganz/Luis Cali hisself Andrew Divoff), the police are under the gun to figure out who they can trust before the streets of Moscow are awash in horrendous violence (car chases, shootouts, guys shooting rockets at buildings, exploding buildings, the usual stuff). Will Cronin and his team figure it out?
Now, like I said, this story is pretty dang complicated, probably too complicated. There are so many moving parts to the story and some of the characters don't get the kind of time you'd think they'd get (I'm looking at Carradine's Pierre) but the flick somehow works. The movie is never boring and the acting throughout is pretty decent. The movie also looks amazing. Some of the stunt work undermines the idea that the movie isn't low budget but aside from the early car racing scenes (there are just too many long shots of the cars riding behind one another single file) and some shoddy gun sound effects (single shot rifles are never all that scary or thrilling in an action movie. Full auto is always better) the movie looks fabulous. This flick is a massive step above "Moscow Heat."
Steven Brand is decent as Michael Nazzaro. He has just the right amount of charisma and presence to make you believe that he's an archaeology professor that moonlights as an illegal street racer. He's also able to sell the complicated Knights Templar stuff, which makes very little sense to me but I believe that he knows what it's all about. Alexander Nevsky, the Russian Ahnold Schwarzenegger, is pretty okay here as the famous Wolf. He has improved tremendously since "Moscow Heat" as he looks much more comfortable in front of the camera. His thick accent takes some getting used to but it stops being an issue after about halfway (I don't understand, though, why he's so monotone in the movie. If you check out the movie on DVD and watch the behind-the-scenes special feature Nevsky sounds very, very different. Why didn't the movie get that Nevsky?). Nevsky still needs to work on his fight scenes and gun handling technique because he just doesn't look right (the big shootout scene on the top of the building is case in point. He should never use two handguns at the same time. And what's with all of the slow motion stuff?). With all of that in mind, though, as long as Nevsky keeps getting better as a screen presence he should have a great, lucrative future in the world of international action movies. I know I wouldn't mind seeing him in an action movie again.
David Carradine is pretty decent in his small part as the mysterious, shady Pierre. The part is obviously a paycheck for the late B-movie legend but he makes the most of it, especially at the end of the movie when he "drives" a car. It's hilarious. Both Olga Rodionova and Sherilyn Fenn are good as the babes in the movie. Rodionova is incredibly hot, and Fenn is sort of a hot cougar type woman, and while neither one of them gets nude, naked, or just topless (the movie is PG-13) they are nice to look at. They're also good actors, but in a movie like this that's just icing on the cake.
Andrew Divoff is his usual excellent self as police leader Cronin. Divoff doesn't get to play a good guy all that much (I actually can't remember the last time he played a good guy) and while his part here isn't big he's damn good anyway. I would love to see him in his own low budget action movie franchise, or perhaps as the lead in a cable TV show (imagine Andrew Divoff tracking down serial killers or just taking down bad guys. I don't think the word "intense" is good enough to describe what that show would be like). And William Shockley is pretty dang decent as the drug dealer Beekeeper. I bet he could have his own low budget movie franchise. I'd watch him in one.
The only real bad aspect of the cast is Robert Madrid as Dr. Pablo Ramirez. Madrid has a relationship with Nevsky, so you know why he's in the movie to start with (he was also a major part of "Moscow Heat) but he's such a non presence on screen it's a wonder why director Huff didn't cut all of his scenes. Madrid is just terrible. Now, to be fair, while Madrid is bad, his presence doesn't hurt the movie, but it sure as heck doesn't help.
I liked "Treasure Raiders" quite a bit, despite its bloated storyline and limp early action scenes. In the end, the movie just works. If Nevsky and company intend on making a sequel (the end of the movie seems to indicate that it's possible) I'll definitely check it out.
See "Treasure Raiders." See it, see it, see it.
So what do we have here? Gratuitous hooey about the Knights Templar, gratuitous old monk that says something important, gratuitous hip and edgy pseudo rock music over the opening credits, gratuitous sports car (it's a Porsche or an Audi) driving around the bust streets of Moscow, gratuitous college lecture about the Knights Templar, gratuitous David Carradine, gratuitous hooey about a mysterious code, drug smuggling in dolls, gratuitous guy doing cocaine without paying for it, gratuitous illegal nighttime car racing, gratuitous Alexander Nevsky, gratuitous drug smuggling in a coffin, gratuitous Andrew Divoff, gratuitous pseudo Russian Special Forces hooey, cheap explosions, exploding limo, gratuitous strip club hooey (no nudity, though), vodka in a can, gratuitous Russian cook that cooks while smoking, gratuitous bar fight, a special pendant, an awkward lunch date, gratuitous Russian character actors, money laundering, code deciphering, gratuitous Robert Madrid, gratuitous bit where David Carradine goes to a hair salon, a big ass wild flip, gratuitous guy dressed up like Lenin, gratuitous low budget machine gun fight, a great bit where a bad guys shoot a rocket into a garage, the garage explodes, and Alexander Nevsky shoots out a window on a dirt bike, slow motion dead body falling, a car with special capabilities, gratuitous bit where Robert Madrid irons his pants, giant headstone moving, a guy that looks like Woody Allen, heavily armed henchmen, kidnapping, gratuitous bit where the bad guys drive taxis for some reason, exploding pizza delivery car, a pseudo James Bond type car, a car explodes in slow motion, and a potential sequel.
Best lines: "I've always been fascinated by the 13th and 14th centuries," "Russia has one thousand years of mysteries," "Don't waste my time with your stupid ideas," "That is a big man," "Sergei, put the guns away," "Hey, boss, I didn't know Special Forces was involved," "Let's go to my club! All of you! Let's celebrate!," "Life is intense, my friend," "Fancy meeting you in the library," "So, what about the exchange?," "You look like Snoopy," "That is not bad," "Tell me, what cemeteries are the czars buried in?," "I want the cocaine and the money back!," "I just came out to watch you race," "Hey, baby, are you all right?," "You know, some things are more important than winning, brother," "An archaeologist drug runner," "If you weren't so pretty I'd kill you right now," "Don't worry, baby, you're safe now," "Drugs were invented by doctors," "I've never seen anything like this," "Is this your bell?," "Who is the curator?," "Sounds hollow," "You want to play, let's play," "Funny, bad guys driving cabs," and "I'm glad our relatives didn't have any crazy corpses."
Rating: 7.8/10.0
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And now, a little bit about "Live Evil"
"Live Evil," the great new Tim Thomerson vampire flick (also featuring an appearance by horror legend Ken Foree) is currently on Video on Demand. Check out my review for the flick here, and then, if it's on your cable system, order it. It's a great flick that's well worth the price.
There's been a bit of a change on the "Live Evil" DVD front. According to the flick's Facebook page, "Live Evil" will now hit DVD July 13th, 2010. That's several months away, which is a bummer, but at least the movie is coming out. So, let's all try to remember the new release date (July 13th, 2010), and be sure to keep an eye on the flick's MySpace page and the flick's Facebook page for further updates/developments.
If you're a reader from Germany, though, you can go to the amazon German site to preorder the flick for its March 26th, 2010 release. For you Germans that's this month, only a few weeks away. You lucky bastards.
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Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that. And if there's anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I'm always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.
And don't forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You'll be glad you did.
"Treasure Raiders"
Steven Brand- Michael Nazzaro Alexander Nevsky- Wolf David Carradine- Pierre Sherilynn Fenn- Lena Andrew Divoff- Cronin Olga Rodionova- Masha Bolkov William Shockley- Beekeeper Albert Filozov- Curator Robert Madrid- Dr. Pablo Ramirez
Directed by Brent Huff Screenplay by Alexander Izotov and Alexander Nevsky
Distributed by Maverick Entertainment Group
Rated PG-13 for violence and some drug content Runtime- 95 minutes
