The Hollywood 5 & 1 3.20.10: Hollywood Lies Edition!
Posted by Steve Gustafson on 03.20.2010
The Oscar Curse strikes as Sandra Bullock gets blind sided by Jesse James and his fling with Michelle McGee! Plus, India is getting fed up with Lindsay Lohan, Tiger Woods is quite a texter, Heidi Montag fires her psychic manager, 5 things about Kristen Stewart, a VS. double feature with Meryl Streep, Julia Child, Jennifer Lopez, and Selena, plus Denise Milani is out "& 1" Model of the Week!
BEFORE WE BEGIN...
I'm Steve Gustafson and we're back for another week of goodness. This is the place to visit to get your fill of celebrity gossip and hot women. It's that simple. I read through all the tabloid magazines and gossip sites so you don't have to. You're very welcome. You filthy animals.
The 5 & 1 has a new sister! The Music 5 & 1 by Adam Hill. Check it out and support the 5 & 1 franchise!
So what else do I do around these parts? Let's take a look at all things Steve: Saturday & Sunday:The Hollywood 5 & 1. Gossip and hot women. Monday:Big Screen Bulletin. Movie news!
My FINAL COLUMN:The Silicon Valley 10 & 1. Top 10 Movies That Should Have Video Games! Was I serious? Was I turfing it? Does anyone care?
One more thing, I'm part of the management team for hip hop artist John Public. He just released a new mixtape and I'm spreading the word. Hit me up at stevethegoose@gmail.com for the free download. If you're not sure, just ask for a free sample and I'll shoot you over a couple of tracks to peruse with your ear.
The identity of Padma Lakshmi's daughter has finally been revealed...Adam Dell, a venture capitalist, a source confirms to People. Have to admit...I'm kind of dissappointed.
WHO SAID WHAT? "They're just cool guys. I was brought up with five brothers so as girly as I was, you just have to go with the guys sometimes. But the worst thing is when you're really tired...and you think of the solace of a make-up room. Sitting next to Brad Pitt and George Clooney when you look like you-know-what, it's not nice at six in the morning. I don't think any woman should have to do it."
Catherine Zeta-Jones was too embarrassed to let the guys see her without make-up. Does she know that she's CATHERINE ZETA-JONES?
I mean, c'mon!
VS
Two great readers, one great idea! Jason Douglas wrote: "For VS, how about Meryl Streep vs Julia Child? If nothing else we'd get a good laugh out of it. For a woman my mom's age, Meryl is still pretty hot." Then JLAJRC seconded it and added: "I like this idea. I say take it further and compare current celebs with their historical/famous counterparts they have played in movies. Besides Streep/Child, how about Streep vs the real woman from "THe Devil Wears Prada." Helen Mirren vs. Queen Elizabeth in her prime. Hillary Swank vs. Amelia Earheart. J'lo vs. Selena. I'm sure you could think of more." I thought about it and...
I LOVE IT! How about a twofer this week? Let's go crazy! First up is a classic match:
Meryl Streep VS. Julia Child
VOTE BELOW!
Next up is another actress taking on the woman she portrayed. In respect to Selena Quintanilla Perez I went with respectful on the pics.
Jennifer Lopez VS. Selena
VOTE BELOW!
CELEBRITY TWITTER-A-GO-GO!
Uh oh! India's government may add Lindsay Lohan's name to the country's immigration blacklist, UK's Telegraph reports. I think I talked about this in December. Lindsay went to India to shoot a documentary about sex trafficking on a tourist visa rather than a work visa. I have no problem with that. A true and worthy cause. Lohan might have gotten away with violating the country's visa rules had she not caught the attention of officials by lying over Twitter about the number of children she saved by raiding a child labor sweatshop. Her tweet read: "Over 40 children saved so far...Within one day's work...This is what life is about...Doing THIS is a life worth living!!!" And: "Focusing on celebrities and lies is so disconcerting, when we can be changing the world one child at a time...hope everyone can see that."
The TRUTH: The raid was completed before Lohan arrived in India. Activists who actually participated in the raid were upset by her comments and alerted officials. Her case is being reviewed in New Delhi and will be ruled on soon. She just can't catch a break.
5 THINGS ABOUT KRISTEN STEWART YOU DIDN'T KNOW!
This new "IT" girl is doing it up BIG! But outside of her not smiling very much, what do we really know about her? Let's get some info on Kristen Stewart!
1. Stewart attended school until the seventh grade, and then continued her education by correspondence. She has since completed high school. 2. Stewart's first role was a nonspeaking part in the film The Thirteenth Year. Then, she had another part in the film The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas as the "ring toss girl". 3. Kristen met with Joan Jett over the 2008-2009 New Year to prepare for the role in The Runaways, and ended up prerecording songs in a studio for the upcoming film. 4. She has expressed a desire to live and work in Australia. 5. On acting and the future: "I want to go to college for literature. I want to be a writer. I mean, I love what I do, but it's not all I want to do...be a professional liar for the rest of my life."
And now you know...
Oh, yeah. She's in a movie about vampires.
VIDEO-O-GO-GO
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I originally posted this in The Big Screen Bulletin but I wanted to share it with you guys. Check out Denise Milani here and below! What do you think? Start the Wonder Woman casting rumors?
Alright, let's get to the actual Hollywood 5 & 1. I go through 5 things out of Hollywood this past week that made me scratch my head plus our "& 1" Model of the Week! Let's go!
The Curse!
Did I call it or did I call it? A couple of 5 & 1s ago, while I went through the memorable Oscar breakups and asked, "Who would be next?" I got a couple emails saying I was a fool! Not looking so foolish now! My gloating, of course, comes at someone else's expense. Sandra Bullock has reportedly left Jesse James after an alleged affair rumor surfaced just 10 days after her Oscar win. Meanwhile, previous Best Actress winner Kate Winslet and her husband Sam Mendes called it quits on Monday. Is there an Oscar relationship curse? You tell me!
As the rumors started to swirl, James broke his silence. Facing allegations of infidelity, James issued an apology Thursday to his wife and his three children, taking full responsibility for their heartbreak. In a statement to People, he says: "The vast majority of the allegations reported are untrue and unfounded. Beyond that, I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment. There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It's because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way. This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me."
A couple of things. While he doesn't specify anything, what was he referring to with the "untrue and unfounded"? And he's a smart guy. While what goes on between a couple is their business, this is Hollywood buddy. Good luck with that happening. Just ask Tiger Woods. And what about Michelle "Bombshell" McGee? Honestly, she looks like a cenobite from Hellraiser!
The big question is the marriage. Will Sandra forgive him? Her fanbase is all over this, obviously in support of her. His fanbase is a completely different demographic, so his "worth" won't be tarnished in the garage world. More to come, I'm sure!
"Really? Really?"
LOL TIGER
Not mind blowing news, but this is pretty juicy! Bad news for Tiger Woods is good news for the 5 & 1! Seems like one of his mistresses...Joslyn James....but does that even matter...set up a site (sextingjoslynjames.com) and included texts that Tiger sent her. None of hers though. Interesting. Here's a sample:
* "OK, I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust."
* "I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you"
* "Have you ever had a golden shower done to you? ... just morbid curiosity."
* "You are my f**king whore. Hold you down while I choke you"
* "I can't f**k you now! I'm reading the Hollywood 5&1. This s**t is funny!"
OK, that last one is fake.
Another little tidbit. On September 8, 2009: "Having a few issues at home. Might be a little later before I see you tonight." That text is followed by "parent hood melt down :)" And the last message is dated October 4, 2009. It says, "Don't f**king talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, F**k." If the site takes off, don't be surprised to see a new industry spring up with his harem of mistresses coming out with Tiger memorabilia.
"What part of SHHHHHHHH! didn't she understand?"
Did He See it Coming? Us Magazine reported that Heidi Montag gave Aiden Chase, the guy who replaced her husband Spencer Pratt as manager, his walking papers after he showed up on her movie set "demanding a significant portion of her Hills money." Seems Heidi was filming her cameo for an Adam Sandler flick. Her rep told Us that Chase had no part in landing her the gig.
Funny little footnote. Chase is a psychic. That's bad for business. A source told Access that no paperwork had been signed between Heidi and the psychic, so he was never "officially" her manager. So she "fired" Pratt first, then Chase. Interesting. When are the rumors of a rift between Montag and Pratt going to start up? A week?
Just remember: Due to surgery she looks nothing like this anymore.
Queen Baldwin!
You either love this guy or hate him! He makes me laugh. Alec Baldwin has fueled a war of words with a journalist for reporting on an alleged fight with his 30 Rock co-star Tina Fey. The actor was left fuming when National Enquirer writer Mike Walker published an article which claimed Baldwin had fallen out with Fey on the set of the hit TV show. In a subsequent interview with Britain's The Times newspaper, the actor made a series of unflattering comments about Walker, calling him a "whore" and a "queen". The reporter responded by writing, "Here's my headline: 'Alec Baldwin: Raging Closet Homophobe!' Grab your pitchforks and torches, Hollywood, the monster lurks among ye! Just for the record: I am not gay, as my wife will attest." And the inflammatory statement has riled Baldwin once again. He told the New York Post, "Yes, he (Walker) is a goat-footed, wheezy, old queen, and all my male lovers agree with me." WHOA! Baldwin is on a tear! Don't get on this guys bad side!
I don't think you'd mind a shot of Tina Fey instead of Baldwin, right?
Word! Keving Federline is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. I mean, the guy did what most of us would have if we had the opportunty. Why hate?
Welcome back to the & 1 Model of the Week! Where we search this thing called the internet to find a lovely lady to appreciate in all her beauty.
The & 1 Model of the Week brings us...Denise Milani! I better be careful. My girlfriend will only believe that I look at her pics for "research" for so long!
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present...Denise Milani!
Check out her site for more. FYI, no nudity.
Stop back next week for another & 1 Model of the Week!
Before I say GOODBYE!
I would be remiss if I didn't mention some of the other OUTSTANDING articles on www.411mania.com. You would be doing yourself a disservice if you didn't peep around the site. I always get my daily habit of reading. Here's a small sample!
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Do you have something to say? A celebrity story? Juicy gossip? Shoot me an email at stevethegoose@gmail.com. Thanks again and be safe out there. And just chill...till the next episode...
When not writing for www.411mania.com, Steve Gustafson is on the hustle and bustle!
All pictures courtesy of www.people.com, TMZ.com, www.cnn.com, and www.imdb.com.
Ill take Selena over JLo ANY DAY. She was and is the original big booty hottie, and she had the most gorgeous face to go with it. JLo is ridiculously overrated.
Im sorry, (and this is a girl talking) but Bullock reminds me of Jen Aniston and Reese Witherspoon: the funny, sweet, average looking America Sweetheart chicks who are probably not that fun in the sack, so their dudes get swayed by some hot young thing whose alot of fun.
Jesse obviously was out of his league with Bullock. IF he cheated with this chick Im not surprised. Look at everyone he was bangin before Bullock, they all look like the chick he cheated with.
Posted By: CL1 (Guest) on March 19, 2010 at 11:15 PM
How about Laura Dern vs. Katherine Harris?
Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 12:23 AM
REALLY REALLY? ok to answer ur question yes Sandra Bullock is hot but some may find the tattoo woman hotter. she has the body and some men just prefeer that look. I personally would have a hard time keeping my dick in my pants with a tattoo model that looks like her
Posted By: The Greg (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 12:28 AM
OMG... DDD Denise Milani = EPIC RACK!!! And Padma is f'in off the chart sexy!
Posted By: ROBOHO2010 (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 12:57 AM
The Greg, sorry man! I put quotes around it to imply that Sandra was saying that to Jesse. It wasn't my thoughts. I love the tats!
And may I reiterate that I dig your comments. Hilarious and insightful! Thank you!
Posted By: stevethegoose (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 01:23 AM
Yeesh! That tatooed check is out and out skank nasty!
Posted By: BenPiper (Registered) on March 20, 2010 at 02:19 AM
Jennifer Lopez of course, I'm a big fan of hers
Posted By: slurper (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 10:25 AM
I would take Meryl over Julia for sure. She's still hot, and even if I failed to satisfy her she could convincingly act like I'm the greatest lover ever.
J-Lo over Selena, but it's not really fair when J-Lo's funbags are bulging out and Selena looks modest.
I knew you could find a hot Tina Fey pic Goose, nicely done.
Jesse James is a jackass for cheating, and especially with such a freak show. Some women are hot enough to overcome some ink, but not that much. Even if Sandra wasn't fulfilling her wifely duties it's no excuse to cheat with that.
Denise Milani is jaw-dropping. Perfect face, perfect body, no ink, and doesn't do nudity. I wish she could act so I could see her regularly.
Catherine Zeta-Jones is a ten but looks like she'd be frigid if you tried to talk to her.
As for the Oscar curse, I don't think it's any more real than the Madden curse. It just seems that way because top stars generally get more press.
Posted By: Jason Douglas (Registered) on March 20, 2010 at 10:39 AM
Jesse James is an idiot for cheating on his wife. If she divorces him he can go back to his shop in Long Beach building bikes and feeding his sharks and pitbulls and trying to dress like a chollo and be with his new tattooed scumbag.
Posted By: Chico (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 11:17 AM
"Kevin Federline.. did what most of us would have if given the opportunity."
Beat John Cena and retire undefeated? You goddamn right!
Posted By: Stixx (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 02:58 PM
Can you ask AJ to post up pics of Denise Milani from now on... :) She's INCREDIBLY HOT!!
Posted By: Alfredo Lara Jr. (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 03:16 PM
Remember when columns on 411 weren't a contest to see who could stick in as many random pics of tits and ass to get traffic? Oh well, at least we still got Al Norton.
Posted By: Guest#8283 (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 03:18 PM
selena!!!!selena was true talent,hot n body like whooooooo and jlo is just overrated
Posted By: Daneal (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 03:31 PM
Julia Roberts V Erin Brockavich
Posted By: guest (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 05:12 PM
Cate Blanchett vs Katherine Hepburn
Posted By: Spaghett (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 09:01 PM
I'd have to go with Streep and J'lo.
Steve, do you think it's possible to post the results of the VS?
Posted By: JLAJRC (Guest) on March 20, 2010 at 09:57 PM
That Mcgee chick is a poor man's Kat Von D. Ugh. And Denise Milani is the sex.
Posted By: Qwerty (Guest) on March 21, 2010 at 01:19 AM
OK well it is a toss up between jlo and selena, although Jlo been around more than selena (if she were still alive). JLO was a fly girl on in living color for shit sake, she gets around.
Between Streep and Child, wow neither and i would not go near old and dusty period. Bullock or the tattoo nazi, Bullock in a split second. I guess the celebrity sexcapades are going around I wonder who cheats next; everything in threes.
Posted By: Guest#2496 (Guest) on March 21, 2010 at 08:51 PM
Meryl over Julia
Selena over J-Lo in a heartbeat.
Next week: Charlize Theron or the woman she played: Aileen Wuornos. You know that should be a close match-up.
I agree with you, I would have done Britney in a second. People forget that K-Fed got to nail thin, hot, "still there mentally" Britney AND out of shape, starting to go batshit crazy Britney. Dude got the best of both worlds!
As far as the tattooed chick, I love the tats and her body, but honestly, the face literally drops her. Plus, a face like hers just screams STD. Don't get me wrong, I'd still do her, I'd just wear two reindeer-skin rubbers.
Posted By: Santa Claus (Guest) on March 21, 2010 at 09:50 PM
SELENA FOREVER !
Posted By: Canuck (Guest) on March 25, 2010 at 09:24 PM
Selena over J-Ho.
She was so pretty and talented. :(
Can't beleive it's been 15 years today!
Posted By: Shawn (Guest) on March 31, 2010 at 07:34 PM
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