TV Rants and Raves 05.05.10

Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz on 05.05.2010

Rants and Raves about the Conan O'Brien interview on "60 Minutes," Dr. Phil wanting to have sex with Lois Griffin, the season finale of "Human Target," Gabourey Sidibe on "Saturday Night Live," Peter Krause's face, "Survivor," and "Smackdown" moving to SyFy, plus a Featured Bit on how to "fix" CNN, drug addict Rush Limbaugh wins a special award, and more!

TV Rants and Raves Issue #43: In this issue I Rant and Rave about the season finale of "Human Target," the Conan O'Brien interview on "60 Minutes," Gabourey Sidibe on "Saturday Night Live," Peter Krause's face, "Survivor," and "Smackdown" moving to SyFy, plus a Featured Bit on how to "fix" CNN, drug addict Rush Limbaugh wins a special award, and more, plus a bit of "Greg the Bunny" coolness I just found out about

Hello, and welcome once again to the TV centric internets column that has never tried to build a backyard grill out of an old toilet, TV Rants and Raves. I'm Bryan Kristopowitz.



Before I get into the main part of the column, did anyone else know that Warren the Ape, Greg the Bunny's co-star on the cancelled too soon Fox sitcom "Greg the Bunny" and those movie parodies that aired on IFC a few years ago, has a show on MTV starting next month (June 14th to be exact)? According to imdb.com the "Warren the Ape" show is going to be some kind of fictionalized documentary reality rehab show type thing where we see former star Warren try to rebuild his life after the cancellation of "Greg the Bunny" (I guess Warren developed quite the alcohol and drug problem after the show was cancelled). It sounds freaking brilliant.



I miss "Greg the Bunny." It was such a great, funny, silly show. Fox should have made a bigger effort to keep it going. Yes, the ratings may not have been spectacular but I bet they would have gone up in a second season. The show just needed time. But then again, what show doesn't need time? The film short movie parodies on IFC were great, too. The "Natural Born Killers" one was fucking hilarious (I can't remember which one it was but there was one where Count Blah freaked out about the time the Count from Sesame Street stole his wife or something. There's just something intrinsically funny about a puppet saying "cocksucker").

Now, I don't know if "Warren the Ape" is going to feature new puppets or if it's mostly going to be Greg, Blah, and that Hollywood agent guy Pal, or if it will mostly be newer puppets. Either way it should be a blast. And hopefully the show is a big success so there can be more Warren and Greg and whoever else. The world needs them.

Be sure to check out Greg the Bunny's website for cool information about everything Greg the Bunny, including a bunch of songs by the characters (my favorite is "Simply Irresistible" by Count Blah. Cracks me up every time I hear it).



Long live Greg the Bunny! Yeah!

And now, with all of that out of the way onto the main part of the column:


TV Rants and Raves



- "Human Target" season finale thoughts: Well, the awesome Fox action drama "Human Target" ended its first, and hopefully not last, season with a great cliffhanger. After learning the origin of Mark Valley's Christopher Chance we find out that Timothy Omundsman's Interrogator character has kidnapped Winston and it's now up to Chance and his former mentor Joubert (Armand Assante. More on him in a second) to go and get Winston back. Will they be able to get Winston back? Will they prevent the Interrogator from capturing whatever the heck it is both the Interrogator and Joubert want? Hopefully we get a chance to find out.

I loved just about every aspect of the season finale. I've never been a big fan of overly long origin stories but this one worked brilliantly. Bringing back the great Lennie "Hawkins" James as Baptiste in the flashback, not to mention Lee fucking Majors as the "original" Christopher Chance (more on that in a second, too) was just awesome. I also liked how we learned what Jackie Earle Haley's Guerrero back story is as it relates to Chance. It certainly explains his seemingly unending loyalty to Chance and why Chance essentially trusts Guerrero implicitly. It was kind of shocking to see Chance beat Guerrero in a kung fu fight, though. I just didn't think it was possible (Guerrero is the baddest man on the planet, isn't he? Sure seems that way).



Now, I do have a few questions. Why doesn't Guerrero have the same sort of price on his head as Chance does? You'd think that he'd be under the same kind of danger as Chance since Guerrero also basically left Joubert's employ. But then again, Guerrero is the baddest man on the planet. Who in his or her right mind would deliberately want to go head-to-head with him? It's an insane proposition. I'd also like to know what the heck it is Joubert is really after. I must have missed something (doesn't it have to do with nuclear materials or something?). And if this stuff is so valuable why aren't there government agents looking for it, too? I mean, just who the hell is Joubert anyway? How has he managed to run an international assassin squad for so long without being detected or hunted down?



Now, my only real quibble with the episode is the casting of Armand Assante as Joubert. I like Assante as much as the next guy (he's a great character actor, he looks like a legitimate bad ass, he has no problem appearing in B-movies) but hasn't his presence as the shady bad guy on TV shows been played out and become sort of a cliché? The producers couldn't find anyone else? Gerald McRaney didn't want to do it? Bob Gunton couldn't have been given a few days off from "24" to do it? Hell, they couldn't find a bad ass British character actor no one in the United States has ever heard of to do it? I'm down with Asante doing it as I'm sure he'll do a fine job if the show has a future, but he's not the best choice at least in my mind.



The casting of Lee Majors as the "original" Christopher Chance is one of best casting decisions a TV show has ever made because who the hell would have thought anyone in this day and age would pick the Six Million Dollar Man for something serious? I mean, he's the goddamn Fall Guy for Christ's sake! But there he was, Lee Majors acting like one of the world's biggest bad asses and it wasn't ridiculous. It's too bad that he didn't get to stick around a little longer because I was hoping that we'd see a little more Lee Majors kicking ass in future episodes. Maybe someone will come up with a way to do that in flashbacks or dreams or ghosts or some shit. I'm not usually into that kind of thing but I'm sure that the people behind "Human Target" could figure out how to do it with class.

Fox should be announcing its fall schedule soon so we shouldn't have too much longer before we find out if we've seen the last of Christopher Chance, Winston, Guerrero, and the others. I hope we haven't. "Human Target" is just too good a show to cancel.

Come on, Fox. Make the right decision. Renew "Human Target."






- Conan O'Brien "60 Minutes" interview thoughts: Conan O'Brien's big hooha interview with "60 Minutes" wasn't as big as I thought it would be. I kind of figured that the interview, conducted by "60 Minutes" veteran Steve Kroft, would get more prominent play on the show, at least getting the first segment. The interview played last. It did seem to go on a little longer than a usual celebrity interview (I'm guessing that's why the show didn't have Andy Rooney on at the end) but, again, I figured that since the Conan O'Brien/Jay Leno/"The Tonight Show" thing is still a big media story that "60 Minutes" would have had the interview play more prominently.

O'Brien came off well. He didn't seem all that bitter (he's obviously still upset that NBC fucked him in the ass by dumping him from "The Tonight Show" after seven months). It would have been great if he could have said what he no doubt really wanted to say about NBC and subsequently Jay Leno (he's pissed at Leno, too, obviously, for taking "The Tonight Show" back). That would have made for a much more exciting interview. That's not to say that the interview we got wasn't interesting or exciting because it was, but it could have used just a tad more juice.

It also could have used a little more behind-the-scenes stuff in regards to O'Brien's stage show. It looks pretty dang elaborate. Who the heck came up with it? Where did all of the props and whatnot come from? I'd also like to know what the heck Andy Richter thinks about this whole thing (Richter was shown for like three seconds during the segment and then ignored. Does he have the same "no bad mouthing" clause as O'Brien that prevents them from saying really bad things about NBC?). Maybe Richter needs to write a book about it.

O'Brien did bring up a good question that NBC, as far as I know, hasn't been able to answer yet. How much money was O'Brien's "The Tonight Show" really losing? Was it actually losing money at all? Just how much money does NBC expect to make from "The Tonight Show?"

Now all O'Brien needs to do is an hour with Oprah and this situation can call itself complete and O'Brien can get started on his TBS show. If anyone can get the right info it's Oprah. Well, her and that author of "The Late Shift," the book about the Leno-Letterman war to replace Johnny Carson. Hopefully that guy is working on a sequel. He'll get to the bottom of it all.




- Gabourey Sidibe hosting "Saturday Night Live" thoughts: Gabourey Sidibe's first time hosting "Saturday Night Live" was a huge success, at least as far as I'm concerned.

She was obviously nervous when the night started but she managed to overcome her nerves and do a great job. Her monologue was pretty dang funny (I didn't know that Sidibe had such a fine voice). I didn't really understand the Suze Orman sketch but then I usually never do. The bit where Sidibe played the old woman yelling at the kids on the front steps was great (she messed up two of her lines but she blasted through her mistakes and still sold the silliness). And that final "Precious" sketch was one of the funniest creepy sketches I've ever seen on the show. Will Forte pulled out all of the stops on that one.

Now, what the hell was the deal with that Andy Samburg Digital Video Short? Is it a parody of something? It was funny, sure, but what the heck was supposed to be about? Did the cherries have some major significance? I may not be cool enough to get it.

I was disappointed, though, that Sidibe didn't get to do a "What Up With That?" sketch. She would have been great either as the first guest or one of Diandre Cole's special musical guests (I can see Sidibe jamming on an electric guitar). Maybe she'll get to do that her second time out.

And, yes, Sidibe should get a chance to host again. She deserves it.

Now it's onto the big Betty White episode which is this Saturday night. What the heck is she going to do. I bet she'll get a chance to do a "What Up With That?" sketch.



- What's the deal with Peter Krause's face?: Am I the only one to notice that Peter Krause, star of the NBC dramedy "Parenthood," always looks like he's about to burst out laughing? And when I say "always" I mean freaking always. It doesn't matter what kind of scene he's playing or who he's acting with Krause always looks like he's on the verge of laughing his ass off. Has he always been like this?

I didn't watch either "Sports Night" or "Six Feet Under" so I have no idea if Krause exhibited the same tendency during those shows, but with both "Parenthood" and before that "Dirty Sexy Money" Krause is always smirking, always sniffing laughing gas, always letting out silent but deadly farts and trying not to laugh about it.

Does he have some kind of facial disorder that he can't help? Perhaps some kind of neurological brain thing? Or is he just a natural smart ass that can't help himself (everything is damn funny, isn't it? Must be). Is there some elaborate, ongoing practical joke happening that only he's aware of? Just what the heck is the deal here? Is it the angles he's filmed at? Is it all just an illusion?



Now, if Krause does have a disease or disorder that prevents him from not looking like he's about to burst out laughing all of the time I apologize. If Krause doesn't have a disease, he probably needs a visit from Sgt. Hartman.



Are you through grinning, Peter?



- Russell is screwed on "Survivor": "Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains" is quickly winding down and it looks like no matter what Russell is screwed. He's either going to get voted out this week (I think his Villains alliance is done with him, and the Heroes clearly don't like him so he's fucked there) or he's somehow going to get to the finals and once again lose because the jury won't vote for him. And it sucks because Russell deserves to win.

At this point in time I don't think there's ever been a better "Survivor" contestant than Russell. He's a total douchebag, a ruthless prick that has no problem fucking someone in the ass to get ahead, and his only really loyalty is to himself. That's a goddamn "Survivor" player. Isn't that what they're all supposed to be doing? Yes, yes it is.

Now, if Russell doesn't win (I think there's a one percent chance of him actually winning) who the heck is going to win? Rupert? That douchebag Colby? Parvati? No one likes her, either, but she has a better chance of winning than Russell. Sandra? The gross Jerri? The field is wide open at this point.

I'm kind of surprised that, now that the tribes have merged into one, Russell doesn't have more people on the island pulling for him to get to the end. Again, there's no way in hell the jury is going to vote for him, so why not try to make sure he sticks around? You can't lose with him.

I guess we'll find out this Thursday night. Come on, Russell, make me a liar.

And finally,





- "Smackdown" moving to SyFy thoughts: "Smackdown" moving to SyFy this fall pretty much ends the idea that the MyNetwork is an actual network. Once "Smackdown" goes I don't think MyNetwork has any original programming; it's all going to be reruns ("Monk," "Burn Notice," and a bunch of other shows. I think the network will still have "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" in some form). MyNetwork is about to become a kind of superstation. And that'll be cool. "Smackdown" on SyFy isn't cool, though, because it's just another nail in the coffin of the idea that SyFy is different from its sister station USA, the home of "Monday Night Raw."

SyFy is obviously no longer the Sci Fi Channel but at least since the name change there's been a half-ass attempt to keep old name's spirit alive. The channel is chock full of sci-fi TV shows and movies with a smattering of horror flicks and monster movies. "Smackdown" is going to give SyFy its biggest regular rating ever when it moves over, which is going to cause the people in charge to want to change the focus of the channel and make it even more "mainstream." Basically, what we're potentially looking at here is the creation of USA 2.

Now, is that what you want? I know I don't want that. I want SyFy to go back to being Sci Fi. Why not move "Smackdown" to USA on Fridays or even Thursdays? Wouldn't that be a better fit?

I swear, man, it won't be long before every channel in a media conglomerate's cable portfolio is essentially the same fucking thing. Again, is this what you, as a TV watcher, really want?

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And now, a shameless plug for TLC



Have you watch the show called "The Imploders?" It's apparently a show about people that implode buildings for a living. It doesn't look that bad. A new episode of the show will air this Thursday night at 9pm. Be sure to check it out if you have the time.




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The TV Rants and Raves Theme Song of the Week

Enjoy.



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Lynn Redgrave 1943-2010 RIP



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And now, Dr. Phil.





"I want to have sex with cartoon character Lois Griffin. It's true, it's true, I'm not afraid to admit it. I want to have sex with Lois Griffin. I mean, she's fucking hot. She's damn near perfect. Tits, ass, legs, and I bet she's got a great, tight vagina, too. But you know what I really like, love about Lois? Her nose. Yes, I love her pointy, triangleish nose. I would do anything to have her brown nose me with that thing. Anything. I would even fuck her daughter Meg, and no one wants to fuck Meg. Well, that one Jewish kid wants to fuck Meg, but when was the last time we saw that four eyed little bastard? So come on, Meg, spread 'em so I can spread your mother. Let me live my dream!"

My God, Phil, you are such a delusional asshole. You want to fuck a cartoon character? And shouldn't you have made mention of this two weeks ago when the column was all about "Family Guy?" Wouldn't your disturbing dream have made more sense then?



"Go fuck yourself, douchebag. My cock wants what it wants when it wants it and right now it wants to slide into Lois Griffin. And one of these days I'm going to make it happen!"

Sure, Dr. Phil. Sure. And maybe after you slam her you can slam Francine from "American Dad."





"Hey, that's not a bad idea. Thanks, man."

Jesus.

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And now, the weekly Fearnet update

Do you have Fearnet on your cable/satellite system? If you do, you're lucky because it's the only free all horror/thriller on Demand station going (it's also one of the few places that is proud of B-movies). If you're a Time Warner cable subscriber, you don't have it. You probably used to have it, but it was snatched away from you last year. But there is a way to see what Fearnet has to offer. Just go here.

Yes, that's the Fearnet website, where you can check out the free movies Fearnet has to offer (the site gets new ones every Wednesday), horror news, and more. The very cool vampire flick "Brotherhood of Blood" was on there last week. Is it still there? Check and see. The site also has a pretty nifty web series featuring Freddy Krueger hisself, Robert Englund, and Kane "Jason Voorhees" Hodder, "Fear Clinic" that's definitely worth a look.



If you're a Facebook nerd you can check out the Fearnet fans Facebook page, which can be seen here. There are plenty of people out there interested in Fearnet. Come join them.

(As always, thanks to both Mark Lindsey and Mathew Hirsch for info regarding the Fearnet fan movement).

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And now, a little bit about "Live Evil"



"Live Evil," the great new Tim Thomerson vampire flick (also featuring an appearance by horror legend Ken Foree) is currently on Video on Demand. Check out my review for the flick here, and then, if it's on your cable system, order it. It's a great flick that's well worth the price.

According to the flick's Facebook page, "Live Evil" will hit DVD July 13th, 2010 and that it can now be pre-ordered on Amazon.com. July 13th, 2010 is getting closer and closer. That's just damn cool.

If you're a reader from Germany, though, you can go to the amazon German site and order the flick right now. Lucky bastards.

Be sure to keep an eye on the flick's MySpace page and the flick's Facebook page for further updates/developments.






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Featured Bit: How to "fix" CNN



CNN prides itself on being in the "cable news business." Unlike its major cable news competitors Fox News and MSNBC, CNN has resisted the ideological branding that the other channels thrive on. It's a laudable position to take (ultra right wing conservatives, who have been calling CNN "The Clinton New Network" for about eighteen years now, may disagree with that statement) but if you look at the channel's ratings it's basically a programming experiment that has failed. CNN is somewhat competitive during the day but when it comes to prime time, where the real money in television is made, CNN gets crushed by both Fox and MSNBC (heck, CNN sometimes gets beat by its sister network Headline News, which turns into a giant celebrity infotainment network at night). That fact can't be good for the corporate ego that started the twenty-four hour cable news thing. What the heck happened?

I don't know when exactly CNN stopped being competitive with the other two cable news networks as it doesn't seem all that long ago that CNN was neck and neck with Fox and the newspapers were filled with full page ads boasting ratings records. But if you look at each network's ratings position and then look at what each network has on in prime time you can see CNN's problem as clear as day. CNN is completely out of the news opinion business. The personalities that inhabit the network's shows from 6pm-12am are all down the middle, non-ideological news people doing news shows with the occasional interview thrown in (Larry King does the exact opposite as his show is mainly an interview show). Where's the personality and passion? The network doesn't even have strongly passionate people strongly passionate about being non-ideological. In this day and age, for television, that just doesn't make any sense. You'd think that they'd be all over that and have a nightly, prime time line up of ass kicking non-partisans. But the network doesn't. Not even close.

So how does CNN get itself out of this mess? It needs to change course, that's obvious, but it needs to change course in a subtle way. It can't make a massive, channel wide change immediately and expect to get good, long lasting results. The network needs to make one small change at a time and move on from there. For one thing, it needs to get back into the opinion show business. Right or left or down the middle, CNN needs to find one or two interesting personalities passionate about politics that can anchor the 7pm-9pm or 8pm-10pm hours. CNN should also bring back "Crossfire." I know Jon Stewart made fun of the show when he appeared on it and all, but it was a fun political show that showed people what each side of "the debate" believed. The network should also get rid of Candy Crowley. She's one of the worst reporters I've ever seen on cable news. She's just terrible.



Another thing CNN needs to do is find out when Larry King is going to retire and get cracking on a replacement for him. Larry, despite being a million years old, is still fun to watch when he's got someone interesting to interview, but Larry is looking tired. You can tell that, even with the prospect of another potential alimony check to pay out, Larry is getting towards the end of his career. In order to make the transition from Larry to whomever the network gets to replace him seem less jarring the network needs to reveal a replacement now and have that person substitute every now and then, maybe eventually giving that person a night (Wednesday or Friday nights) or even giving the substitute the weekends. Get that replacement up and running and comfortable in the chair so when Larry does retire it's easy for the audience to accept. It also wouldn't be a bad idea to move Larry to 10pm where there's less competition (I bet he could eventually beat Greta on Fox).

CNN also needs to stop giving so much time to both Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer. They both anchor far too many hours during the night and during the week and all they're really doing is reporting the news. Cooper should become the network's new Christiane Amanpour and do more in the realm of investigative reporting. And Blitzer, well, the network just needs to let that man go home sometimes.

And finally CNN needs to use some of its weekend time to experiment with shows, show content, and potential show hosts. Destination TV on the weekends is essentially non-existent, especially on Saturdays, so there's very little to lose and quite a bit to gain with experimenting with shows and hosts. If there's any time to take a chance, take it on the weekends.

So that's my advice to CNN. Keep the news as news, but add in some opinion and personality to balance things out. It's worth a shot, isn't it? It's not like what you've got now is working so dang well.


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The TV Rants and Raves Douchebag of the Week





This week the TV Rants and Raves Douchebag of the Week goes to drug addict Rush Limbaugh, for suggesting that the Gulf oil spill was caused by environmentalists. And how exactly did these environmental terrorists blow up an oil rig? Where did they get the technical know-how to do it? And who the hell are they? And how does environmentalists blowing up an oil rig, creating the biggest oil spill disaster since the Exxon Valdez, make any sense? Rush didn't say. Rush just wanted to take a political shot against the President and "the left." Now, that's what Rush does for a living so he can get more drugs and I totally understand that, but I think it's about time Rush be forced to make wild accusations that at least sound plausible.



And then there's Republican Congressperson Duncan D. Hunter, for advocating the deportation of U.S. born children of illegal immigrants. The Congressperson apparently believes that this is a surefire way to stop or at least significantly curtail illegal immigration. But aren't the U.S. born children of illegal immigrants U.S. citizens? Isn't that, well, wrong? Sure seems so. I would love to hear the Congressperson explain how this kind of policy isn't illegal and incredibly racist. That'll probably never happen because it is illegal and it is racist, and from what I've seen racist politicians aren't in the business of admitting that they're racists. If illegal immigration is such a big issue why can't the country have a serious discussion about it? Why does everything have to be insane?



And finally there's former U.S. Congressperson Tom Tancredo for recently saying that President Obama is using the fake controversy over his birth certificate to his political advantage and making his opponents look like idiots. No, Tom, you and your birther friends are doing that all by yourselves. The President was born in fucking Hawaii, he's a natural born citizen, and he is eligible to be the President. Why can't you all just accept that the President is a black guy and move on with your lives? Why is that so hard to do?


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And now, your weekly "Jericho" update



Well, no new good news on the "Jericho Season 3 Civil War" Issue #4 front. The book is still delayed. Not sure why it's been delayed (I haven't seen anything in way of a reason on any of the "Jericho" websites) but issue #4 won't be coming out this month or next month. The May 26th rumor is still out there but, again, nothing has been confirmed there.

At least the book hasn't been canceled. I don't know why it would be cancelled, but then this is the comic book business we're talking about here. Anything can happen. But, again, at least the book has just been delayed. Issue #4 will be out soon enough.

Go here to find a local comic book shop near you if you haven't done so already. You should also check out http://www.savingjericho.com and http://jerichocomic.squarespace.com/ for up-to-date information regarding the "Jericho" comic plus other "Jericho" related stuff (there's some promising stuff regarding the new premium channel Epix). And keep an eye on http://www.devilsdue.net/, the online home of Devil's Due Publishing, for information regarding future issues and everything else Devil's Due puts out. If something happens they'll be able to tell you first.

If you're into the whole "trade paperback comic book" thing you can preorder the "Jericho" comic book as a trade paperback here. I have no idea when the TPB will come out but if you preorder it on amazon, they'll send it to you when it does come out. You can be sure of that.

And remember that you can still purchase the entire "Jericho" run on DVD. Go here to buy the entire series. If you're not into the whole "buying the entire series in one package" thing, you can get each season individually. Buy season 1 here, and season two here.

Don't let this little speed bump get you down. Issue #4 is coming. We're just going to have to be a little more patient. "Long live Jericho!"

Go on, say it! "Long live Jericho!" Let them know you still care! Yeah!



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Indycar and NASCAR thoughts



Well, the first oval race of the season for the IZOD Indycar series is in the books, and Target Chip Ganassi driver Scott Dixon dominated the race, leading the most laps and cruising to victory. It wasn't an unexpected outcome as the Target cars and the Penske cars have been the cars to beat on the ovals the past two seasons. Despite the Dixon domination the race was competitive, with passing and good side by side battles throughout the field.





Former F-1 driver Takuma Sato did a great job in his first ever oval appearance. If he hadn't wrecked at the end he probably would have had a top five finish. It'll be interesting to see how Sato does at both Indianapolis and at Texas as they require different driving styles despite being ovals (Indy is about speed and finese, Texas is about speed and badassness. It's not all about "just" turning left).



I've said it before and I'll say it again: I think Michael Andretti is giving Danica bad equipment as punishment for trying out NASCAR. She had her best finish of the season, a 12th, but she was never in contention for anything and spent most of the day down a lap. How the hell does she go from being a solid top 5 team last year to a team that can barely finish in the top 15? If you think I'm nuts to think this, go ask Dario Franchitti about how Michael almost sabotaged his own team's championship run in order to get his son Marco another race win. Exactly.

The Indy 500 is up next, and all of the run up to the big race will once again happen on Versus. Versus will have practice, qualifying, Carb Day, and all sorts of other programming up until the race (the race will, once again, air on ABC). Pole day this year should be a doozy, especially with the pole day qualifying change. I'm interested to see how the ninety minute pole shootout thing works.



The NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Richmond was a little better than usual. I don't fully understand what the heck Jeff Gordon's deal is. Why can't he close the deal and win? It seems as though he lives for the chance to, when he's in the lead, get passed so he can finish second. Kyle Busch was strong, sure, but he got lucky that Gordon decided to wimp out once again.



Juan Pablo Montoya, who is on record as hating Richmond, got a surprising top ten out of the race, finishing sixth. I thought he'd be more of a factor at the end but for whatever reason his car just died on the second to last restart and he struggled to stay in the top ten. We'll see how he does this week at Darlington.

Darlington should be an okay race. The track has history and all that, but it's a rough place with only one real racing groove. Whoever manages to master the outside line will be the winner. At this moment, I have no idea who that will be. No idea at all.


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That'll be about it

Well, I think that'll be about it for this issue. Hopefully you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed putting it together.

Don't forget to check out the 411 mania movies zone podcast, which can be heard here. It's always a good listen.

And please check out my other column here at the 411 mania movies zone, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column. It's about B-movies.

And don't forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You'll be glad you did.

"Peter: You gotta help me Brian. Teach me how to be a gentleman.

Brian: Well, Peter, it's not really that hard. Let's start with polite conversation. For example, 'It's a pleasure to see you again. Lovely weather we're having.' Now you try.

Peter: 'It's a pleasure to see you again. After Hogan's Heroes, Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex.' How's that?

Brian: Wow. Perfect. My work is done. But just for the heck of it, let's try it again."


That's from "Family Guy," but I'm pretty sure you already knew that.

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Cancer really fucking sucks.

Alzheimers sucks.

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