The Big Screen Bulletin 6.07.10: Shrek Keeps the Top Spot!
Posted by Steve Gustafson on 06.07.2010
Where's Christopher Nolan taking Batman and Superman? Brett Ratner wants Snow White! Should we be worried about the Green Lantern movie? Steve Guttenberg is ready for Three Men and a Bride! Plus, the box office report, Tony Acero reviews Batman and Robin, and more!
Welcome back to the Big Screen Bulletin! My name is Steve Gustafson and this is where I look at the movie news from the weekend and you get to comment on them below!
I do a celebrity column at 411mania as well! The original Hollywood 5 & 1 hits each and every Saturday! The 5 & 1 franchise is growing! Check out The Music 5 & 1 by Adam Hill. He's back and better than ever! Ryan Merholz is heading up the The Wrestling 5 & 1. He's a juggernaut!
Also, peep my old Game section column, The Silicon Valley 10 & 1 by Justin Weinblatt! Hilarious stuff!
This one might hurt. My partner in crime, Tony Acero is back to review...Batman and Robin. **SHIVER** Let me be clear. He did this on his own. I, in NO way, forced or asked him to do this. Saying that, I clear myself of any harm or damage Mr. Acero has incurred while reviewing said movie.
Take a deep breath and let's jump into...
My job here at GB and F is to find the positive, negative, and downright F'ed up aspects of every movie, regardless of the film at hand and admittedly, I used the Batman movies because I thought it would be an easy way to start. Thus far it's been a great ride and as it comes to a close I've already got my sights set on another franchise, however I'd love to get your guy's opinion (If you have one) in which collection of films I should put my touch on next. I have but one caveat, the movies MUST be in a collection of 3 or more films. I also encourage EVERY comment (whether they agree or disagree) for what is a column without it's readers but a block of text and pictures? We as people all have a difference in opinions on many things and I am no better than you because I have a column. You, too, have a voice and I'd love to hear it! With that being said, let's get this show on the road!
Batman and Robin
If Batman Forever was considered the knife that cut the vein of the Batman franchise, Batman and Robin was the machete that sliced its head off and cut its body into thousands of tiny pieces to be used for a shish kabob. Whereas Batman Forever was deemed by me to be somewhat of a childhood guilty pleasure, Batman and Robin wasn't something I recall liking at all and as I sat down in my trusty reviewing chair (a collapsible camping chair) watching, it all came back in flying colors just why I didn't like this movie. The story goes that the success of Batman Forever drove the studio into an orgasmic like glee. They wanted a sequel and they wanted it BIGGER and BETTER!....well, it certainly was bigger. Val Kilmer was busy making The Saint, so Joel Schumacher found a replacement in good ole George Clooney to take over the role of the Caped Crusader. Chris O'Donnell returned as Boy Wonder and they added a female to the mix in PETA crazy Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl. Over on the villain side, Schumacher casts my current Governor Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze and Ms. Mia Wallace herself Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy. Ivy is an eco-friendly nut case who doesn't mind killing a couple million of people for mother nature and figures the best way to do that is by using Mr. Freeze. Freeze is a tragic story of a former doctor/scientist who is struggling to find a cure for his cryogenically kept wife. When Ivy attempts to kill his wife and blames Batman, Freeze turns his anger towards The Dark Knight and Co. Not to be forgotten is Bane, a walking Wellness Violation if there ever was one, who does Ivy's bidding which include but not limited to choking out Batman, making valuable exits, delivering laundry service and dancing in a monkey suit. Will the three dastardly villains be able to best the three anatomically dressed heroes, or will Gotham fall to the demands of the one man pun machine Mr. Freeze and the green thumbed Poison Ivy??
The Good
* There was very little I could really hold on to as "Good" in this movie. Typically, I watch each movie I review three times. The first is simply watching it for what it is, second viewing is with commentary, and the third I use to actively look for nuances; good or bad. By the 2nd viewing, I had so many notes in the Bad and Fugly section with only three lingering in the Good. I've since considered some things and they are in the coming sections. One thing in particular that I liked in the movie was the usage of Arkham Asylum. Arkham Asylum itself is an awesome place and to include it into one of the Batman movies was perfect! As said before, continuity is a beautiful thing and in one scene they show the Criminal Property Locker. In said room, you see the outfits of both Two-Face and The Riddler. (Although, it is to believe that Two-Face fell to his doom at the end of Batman Forever…but let's not get ahead of ourselves).
* After Pamela Isley leaves her deserted island with Bane, she takes a trip to Gotham to give Bruce Wayne a proposal for a greener life! The scene sticks out to me for one reason only. The proposal that she gives Wayne is rather thick but if you look closely you can see the word RECYCLED stamped on the cover as something like a watermark. It's little things like this that could make a character so major props to whomever thought that was a good idea. Nice touch.
* One thing this film did right was the relationship between Alfred and Bruce Wayne. They truly are family and one scene in particular was poignantly done. Alfred is seemingly on his death bed and Bruce Wayne comes to talk to him. I wish I could put the scene in here as it's really well done. The essence of the conversation is Bruce's sorrow for battling death most his life and yet he cannot save the closest thing he has to a father and Alfred's acceptance of imminent death. Bruce's eyes water up as we get a quick memory then Bruce says "I love you, old man." If Clooney did one thing right in this movie, it was this scene.
* I love wrestling. Have since I was four. So any wrestling reference in a movie gets an automatic Good from me (Unless you're Hulk Hogan and you're not in a Rocky film). There is a cameo in the film from the great Jesse Ventura. Yup, two future governors in the same film! He plays one of the two security guards in Arkham who throw Freeze in his cell and die by way of kiss from Ivy. He has a few cheesy lines (as it appears that's all this movie has) and gets to kiss Uma. Great gig, I'd say. I wonder if he and Arnold talked politics on set…
* The Mr. Freeze outfit was alright to me, "it was nothing to write home about" as my country like roommate would say. But, what I did like was the makeup job. From what I have learned, they wanted to shave Arnold's head but he didn't want to go bald so they used a bald cap. This-at least to my eyes-looked very real to me as I wouldn't have guessed he was wearing a cap if I didn't find out about it. Also, the blue hue used to cover him looked amazing as well. The outfit was a bit too bulky for me (and why wouldn't it be since it's Arnold) but the makeup itself, especially when he looks like a cracked out smurf near the end, was done real well.
The Bad
* Jesus, where do I begin?!! The butt shots within the first 5 seconds of the movie? The magically appearing ice skates on Batman and Robin? The return of Gossip Gurty? Or how about the sky surfing on conveniently shaped doors? No? What about the randomly placed musical number in freeze's lair or Robin's motorcycle conveniently making the Robin emblem in a wall while he crushes through them?
Ok, let me legitimately start off the bad section with a quote directly from Chris O'Donnell during an interview about the movie. ""The first one, I felt like I was making a movie...the second one, I felt like I was making a toy commercial." The studio wanted to make pretty much everything they could into a toy which caused emphasis on story to be virtually non-existent. The obvious product placement and blatant pointing out of over 30 ( I counted) different toys/vehicles that could-and did-be made into toys for the kiddies was very annoying. In the first 5 minutes of the movie, we get a Pizza Hut name drop then we get Batman using his credit card because he "never leaves home without it." There's even a direct line in which Poison Ivy claims that every action figure of her comes complete with Bane. This got very annoying throughout the movie.
* Oh Arnold…I just don't know what to say, really. I'd say 95% of Mr. Freeze dialogue is nothing but one-liners or cold-related quips. While I won't list all of them, here are a few of my favorites (and by favorites, I mean eye-roll inducing):
"What Killed the dinosaurs? The ice age!"
"I'm afraid that my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy."
"CHILL CHILL CHILL"
"Let's kick some Ice!"
"Doesn't work on a cold hearted"
"Tonight, Hell freezes over!"
"You're not sending me to the cooler"
I mean…wow.
* I call this the Disappearing Mole. Throughout the movie, Barbara/Batgirl has a mole on her lower left side of her cheek near her lips. In some scenes of the movie, it's there and very prominent. In other scenes it has completely disappeared. I don't know if they couldn't cast it for the whole time they were shooting or not, but it didn't make it in every scene and it was just really weird to me.
* I'm so glad this is the last film that Schumacher did commentary on as he is a bore to listen to and actually offends me as a movie watcher from time to time. At one point he claims that due to everyone who complained about it "the lack of success ruined all of our lives" in a very sarcastic tone. Essentially saying, "We made a lot of money, so screw what you think." He also points out that for inspiration, he spoke to his 6 year old nephew for advice… Now these aren't bad things, exactly but it was all in how he said it and how often he claimed that he could do this movie the way it was done because it was a "comic book."
The Fugly
* The fight with Poison Ivy is put there simply to introduce Batgirl, which is fine as we needed some semblance of her in the suit other than the ass and tit shot. Ivy has just been defeated after telling Robin that Freeze plans to destroy Gotham using the satellite. In the scene before that, Freeze has already begun freezing dogs and cops alike. Keeping in line with the rule that the frozen victims only have 11 minutes to be thawed, there comes a problem. You see, after they all three beat Ivy, they leave her lair and reappear on their way to Freeze who is at the telescope, only they have completely different outfits on. There is no REASON for it, there is no EXPLANATION for it, and it makes NO sense. Apparently, after beating Ivy, they go back to Wayne Manor to change their outfits to a sleeker outfit then go on their way to Freeze and still have that full 11 minutes? Hmmmmm….
* The nipples are back! Yes, the nipples make their return for the suits…but not for Batgirls. Apparently girls do not have nipples.
* Freeze has been destroyed and Ivy is in Arkham. It's the end of the movie and we see Ivy pullin on a flower playing the old "he loves me, he loves me not" game. Freeze walks in fully decked out in his suit and says he's Ivy's cell mate and is going to make her life a living hell (for killing his wife, of course). Now, if Freeze is in Arkham as a prisoner, why would they allow him to walk around in his suit? I tried making an excuse for it since they allow him to continue to do research on his wife, he would need to be mobile and would need the suit to survive. But if that's the case, why wouldn't he be confined into the----you know what, forget it. Something such as this that raises more questions than just giving an answer is something that doesn't belong in a movie. That's why this is Fugly; because it's lazy.
* Bane is a ruthless, some-what dumb-witted abomination created with steroids and venom. He tears down walls like nobody's business and stomps through thick cement. He is meant to be a freak, a massive man that can BREAK Batman in half! Then why, oh why is he following Ivy around doing her bidding? What power does she have over him that he allows this?
* I was ready to bash the shit out of the whole Gorilla strip scene, but I learned that it was an homage to a Marlene Dietrich movie called Blonde Venus where she does the same thing. So instead of bashing, I'll simply ask the question…what does that have to do with a BATMAN movie?
The Big Picture
I think what bothers me the most about both this movie and Batman Forever is that the mythos of Batman is a very compelling story, and the stories of both movies are ones that-if fleshed out-could have made for a GREAT movie. The dissension between partners, the near death of Alfred, and especially Mr. Freeze were all powerful stories that could have tugged at the heartstrings and minds of the viewer, but instead we are left with a dumbed down version of each. You can completely tell by how Schumacher talks about this movie that he isn't interested in making a movie so much as the money that comes after it. He depends a lot on the second unit more than I've heard directors do so before and he uses the same old tired excuse for anything that makes little sense. In one scene with Uma Thurman completely overacting he says, "This scene will not win the reward for underacting...but hey, it's a comic book" There's no passion, there's no fire, there's nothing but a movie made for toys; a 2 hour long commercial.
As bad as these movies were in my eyes, they have their audience and that is fine. Next week we take over Christopher Nolan's versions of Batman and see how they are divided. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also worried as I think The Dark Knight is one of the best movies ever, let alone best Batman film. Look forward to speaking to you guys again.
Until next week,
Tony
Batman YouTube video of the week:
Is it over? Wow. Thanks for bringing up some painful moments Tony. Make sure you leave a suggestion or two for a movie trilogy (or more) for Tony to run through! Serious inquires only please.
All right, let's dive into the weekend!
Shrek is a Killer!
1. Shrek Forever $25,300,000 ($183,043,000) Read the review!
2. Get Him to the Greek $17,423,000 ($17,423,000)
3. Killers $16,100,000 ($16,100,000)
4. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time $13,900,000 ($59,452,000) Read the review!
5. Sex and the City 2 $12,650,000 ($73,434,000)
6. Marmaduke $11,300,000 ($11,300,000)
7. Iron Man 2 $7,783,000 ($291,294,000) Read the review!
8. Splice $7,450,000 ($7,450,000) Read the review!
9. Robin Hood $5,133,000 ($94,262,000) Read the review!
10. Letters to Juliet $3,000,000 ($43,300,000)
Another weekend, another surprise! Shrek Forever After remains number one after grossing $25.3 million in its third week. The film has now earned $183 million but keep in mind, that pales in comparison to its past two predecessors. If the film fails to cross the original Shrek's $267 million, it will end up being the lowest-grossing movie of the series. Get Him to the Greek earned an estimated $17.4 million in its opening weekend in theaters, which is around where it was estimated to do. It's received good word of mouth and should have some legs in the standings until the next comedy entry comes along, which will be the Adam Sandler, Kevin James-starring comedy Grown Ups on June 25.
Coming in third, and bringing bad reviews along, was Killers, featuring Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher as a married couple. It opened to a modest $16.1 million. Falling fast is Prince of Persia, which is very surprising to me. Also surprising is the drop off Sex and the City 2 took. It fell 59 percent for the weekend, earning $12.6 million for a total gross of $73.4 million. It's not looking like it will be able to surpass the original, which grossed $152.6 million two summers ago.
The almost forgotten Marmaduke, with a voice cast of Owen Wilson and George Lopez, earned only $11.3 million for the weekend for a sixth place finish. Blame this squarely on marketing. The family crowd that did see this enjoyed it, and they dropped the ball in promoting this to the same people who supported Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Iron Man 2 put away another $7.8 million its fifth weekend in theaters, closing in on $300 million with $291 million currently in the bank. The R-rated Splice came in eighth, which is odd since it was one of Sundance's hottest movies. Audiences and critics seem to disagree, which hurt it at the box office. Money talks!
Next week two big ones hit with The A-Team and The Karate Kid. Look for Kid to pull a surprise top spot grab!
In Nolan We Trust!
Lot's of meat on this bone! Empire magazine talked to Christopher Nolan, whose eagerly anticipated film Inception opens July 16, and got some great quotes from the director on the next Batman movie coming July 20, 2012, and next Superman movie, targeted for a holiday 2012 release. It was recently revealed that he would take on a mentor role for the Superman movie (Whatever THAT means), but he's not that comfortable with that title. "It's much more specific than that," he explained, "What it is, while David Goyer and myself were putting together the story for another Batman film a few years ago, you know, thrashing out where we might move on from The Dark Knight, we got stuck. We were just sitting there idly chatting and he said, ' By the way, I think I know how you approach Superman,' and he told me his take on it. I thought it was really tremendous. It was the first time I had been able to conceive of how you would address Superman in a modern context. I thought it was a very exciting idea."
See, this is why I love Nolan. He knows the "mentor" label is a little vague. He discusses his projects, gets ideas, and he avoids the mistake some directors make by thinking their vision is the ONLY vision. Nolan said he took that idea and pitched it to Warner Bros., and the studio got excited, too. "But it's not something for me to direct," he added. "It's something we were just trying to put together a vision for, and then find the right person to take it forward.....What you have to remember with both Batman and Superman is that what makes those the best superhero characters there are, the most beloved after all this time, is the essence of who those characters were when they were created and when they were first developed. And you can't ever move too far from that." Yes! Back-to-basics!
A little disconcerting is he still hasn't officially signed on to direct the new Batman movie. "No I haven't. There is a point where you're just being precious about it and people get annoyed, but the God's honest truth is I work on one movie at a time. I'm only capable of doing that, so my head will continue to be firmly in (Inception) for another few months." There are some things, though, that Nolan can confirm. "My brother is working on the screenplay. We came up with a story that we are very excited about. We particularly like where we are taking the characters and what the ending is...There are things for me to be very excited about in addressing the characters again. But ultimately it always comes down to the script, and can we make a great film from this? That's something I will firmly be turning my attention to figuring out fairly soon." It will be, he said, "the finishing of a story rather than infinitely blowing up the balloon and expanding the story." Works for me. Empire asked whether the villain could be a returning (and recast) Joker. "No," said Nolan resisting to elaborate, "I just don't feel comfortable about it."
Any chance for a World's Finest type meeting? Nolan reiterated that you won't be seeing a Batman/Superman crossover in his movies. "Marvel are doing what they do and people will respond to that really well, or they won't," said Nolan. "It's not something I ever really applied a blanket rule to, but Marvel characters are very different to DC characters, and the key DC characters are very different to the minor DC characters. You've got to go back to that element of, 'What do I see when I close my eyes and think of Batman? What do I see when I close my eyes and think of Superman?' And for me a big part of that is their individuality. They are extraordinary beings in an ordinary world. And the reason I think the two are fascinating is because Superman is very specifically superpowered and obviously otherworldly; Batman is very human and flawed. They're two very different characters, but there's an elemental feeling of power in the iconography of those characters. To me that's originally because they stood alone. I need to hang on to that in my imagining of them."
THIS is why...IN NOLAN WE TRUST!
Green Lantern Light!
SuperHeroHype showed us our first look at promo art for Warner Bros.' Green Lantern, opening in 3D and 2D theaters on June 17, 2011. Only one year folks!
So what do we think of the art? I'm...underwhelmed and a tad nervous. I'm really not feeling the "Anyone Can Be Chosen" tagline. It cheapens the Hal Jordan's role, making it seem like he was in the right place, at the right time. Which, in the comics, he kinda was. But to the average theatergoer, it makes it...non-special. It's early in the game for this movie, but I'm seeing small cracks here and there. Let's hope I'm wrong. Director Martin Campbell has his hands full with stars Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Tim Robbins, Mark Strong, Taika Waititi, Temuera Morrison, Angela Bassett, Jay O. Sanders and Jon Tenney. But, like I've mentioned, my main concern is with the special effects. Everything hinges on the "look". Because if Green Lantern fails, where does that leave The Justice League?
Ratner Wants to Ruin Fairy Tales Next! Brett Ratner is at it again. Deadline Hollywood reports that Ratner will be joining Relativity Media to produce The Brothers Grimm: Snow White, which with its superhero movie-type title gives you an indication of where Brettster wants to take things. Screenwriter Melisa Wallack, who wrote and directed the 2007 indie Bill, wrote an "edgy 3D re-imagining" of the classic fairy tale...Wait...WHAT? Looks like someone read Alan Moore'sLost Girls. This should come as no surprise. As soon as Tim Burton provided the blueprint, Hollywood cast its eye to fairy tale land to see what they could do next. I'm split. As much as I want to see Fables, I hope they do it as a TV series, not as a movie. Same with the Preacher (SEE BELOW).
Back to Snow White. Ratner himself spoke up and said:
"This is not your grandfather's Snow White. Melisa went back to the 500 year old folk tale and put in some of the things that were missing from Walt Disney's film. His dwarves were miners, and here they are robbers. There is also a dragon that was in the original folk tale. Walt made one of the great movies of all time, but ours is edgy and there is more comedy. The original, made for its time, was soft compared to what we're going to do."
Sorry Brett-y, I'm calling your bluff and saying you have no idea of what you want to do with this. This is a simple case of someone needing a "hit" movie and looking to piggyback off of a success (Alice in Wonderland). I see this either fading away or Bretty-Loo losing interest and leaving the project for Rush Hour 4: Bumper to Bumper.
Highness and Then Some.
The movie is done. Seriously. Editing and all that. It's done. But it's going to be a bit before we see David Gordon Green'sYour Highness, starring Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, and Zooey Deschanel. The message boards have reported positive buzz coming out of test screenings, so what does the studio do? They bump it from October 2010 to April 2011. No explanation, nothing. The latest issue of Spain's Fotogramas magazine has several new photos from the medieval stoner comedy. It's on my radar and I'm anticipating a trailer of some type soon.
Buy This Franchise If You Want it to Live!
I'm 100% behind this! It could signal the return of...STEVE GUTTENBERG to the big time! Tom Selleck spoke to MTV about his role in Killers but what got tongues wagging was talk of a new Three Men and a Baby movie. Selleck confirmed that Disney had checked up on him, Guttenberg, and Ted Danson to gauge their interest in a third movie together, this one to be called Three Men and a Bride. According to Selleck there's a script, but we'll only know if he'll actually make it once we know if the script is any good. "I hope it's a good script, and if it is a good script I hope they do it, because it would be really fun to get back with Ted and Steve. The strongest of the two movies I think is the first one. It had more heart, and that's what I hope this third one would have if we do it." This could be a big...success or failure. With a strong script and marketing, it could use the talents of three WAY underused talents who can do funny AND have heart. Throw in some "smart" cameos (I'm thinking Steve Martin as the father of the groom and Zach Galifianakis as the groom. KIDDING!) Man, has it been so long that the little girl would be getting married now?
Hey, anyone here remember the "ghost" urban legend from the first one? It's around the :36 mark.
Don't Bury This Poster.
Movie posters are a forgotten art. But when I see one I like, I have to give it a little love. Take this one for Buried. It's simple and has that classic feel to it. A rip-off of Vertigo? Eh...more like a homage.
I've mentioned this movie before, but those who've forgot, the movie takes place entirely in a box buried underground, containing a cell phone, a lighter and a trapped American (Ryan Reynolds) who's been kidnapped and trapped until his captors' demands are met. I'm liking how they are marketing this and it's on my "Must See" list.
How's this poster look to you?
Twelve Might Be the Loneliest Number!
This one got some buzz at this year's Sundance Film Festival and it shines the spotlight once again on...Joel Schumacher! But was it good buzz? The jury is still out but early word says, "No." On paper Twelve doesn't look promising and this trailer has a Cruel Intentions/Rules of Attraction/Gossip Girl/Requiem For A Dream vibe going on.
Quick Tidbits..........
ComingSoon.net spoke with director Joe Carnahan, whose new movie The A-Team, based on the '80s television show, comes out this Friday! During the conversation, Carnahan revealed that he'd be interested in making a movie based on Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon's Vertigo series Preacher and also talked about his premise for a movie based on the Marvel Comics villain Taskmaster. Preacher as a movie? I don't think you could do it justice. Now, as a TV series, now you're talking! As far as a Taskmaster movie...I don't see it happening. Not a big enough name and it would turn into something completely different from it's comic counterpart.
Cinema Blend reported that Grown Ups director Dennis Dugan will reunite once again with Adam Sandler for Jack and Jill. It will be the seventh time Dugan will direct a Sandler vehicle, having previously helmed Happy Gilmore, Big Daddy, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, You Don't Mess with the Zohan, and the June 25 release, Grown Ups. Dugan is also directing Just Go With It, another comedy starring Sandler. In Sony's Jack and Jill, Sandler will play Jack as well as twin sister Jill. The premise is...OK. I'm curious how the script will read, but I'm more curious to see if Sandler could get a little career refresher by broadening his selection of directors.
Producer Joel Silver spoke to MTV the other day about Logan's Run and revealed something that should come as no surprise. "I'd like to make Logan's Run [in 3-D]. It's a movie I've always been intrigued with, excited by. We're writing a script now and that should be a big 3-D movie and it should be devised and shot in 3-D. I think if we can pull it together, then it would be." I enjoyed the original. Mostly for the story. I have no problem with a remake, but doing it in 3-D does nothing for me.
In the ongoing battle for control of Miramax, the Weinsteins won't end up gaining control after all. The LA Times published an intriguing update on the Miramax auction, saying that two unexpected bigwigs have now entered into "exclusive negotiations" with Disney this past weekend and are awaiting approval from lawyers before making it all official on Monday. Los Angeles construction magnate Ron Tutor and "his embattled film financier partner" David Bergstein are the two that will likely officially acquire Miramax early next week. Bergstein is the same disliked exec who ran both ThinkFilm and Capitol Films into the ground over the last few years. This doesn't sound promising.
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"* Bane is a ruthless, some-what dumb-witted abomination created with steroids and venom. He tears down walls like nobody's business and stomps through thick cement. He is meant to be a freak, a massive man that can BREAK Batman in half! Then why, oh why is he following Ivy around doing her bidding? What power does she have over him that he allows this?"
Easy answer: mind control via her pheromones and toxins she secretes. It's been one of her powers for ages and was also in the movie. Heck, she even managed to control Superman on at least one occasion (the first "Hush" graphic novel, I think?), so enslaving Bane (who, by the way, has a genius-level intellect in the comics) wouldn't be much of a problem.
Posted By: The Ogre (Guest) on June 06, 2010 at 11:32 PM
even if it was a cardboard cutout in that scene, it freaked me the hell out as a little kid. its funny how a ghost just standing still can freak a little kid out.
Posted By: imadethefirstjump (Guest) on June 06, 2010 at 11:44 PM
"* Bane is a ruthless, some-what dumb-witted abomination created with steroids and venom. He tears down walls like nobody's business and stomps through thick cement. He is meant to be a freak, a massive man that can BREAK Batman in half! Then why, oh why is he following Ivy around doing her bidding? What power does she have over him that he allows this?"
Easy answer: mind control via her pheromones and toxins she secretes. It's been one of her powers for ages and was also in the movie. Heck, she even managed to control Superman on at least one occasion (the first "Hush" graphic novel, I think?), so enslaving Bane (who, by the way, has a genius-level intellect in the comics) wouldn't be much of a problem.
Posted By: The Ogre (Guest) on June 06, 2010 at 11:32 PM
I thought about that and even considered it to be true. I nearly removed that particular entry, then I was reminded of when she barely became Ivy while still in the confounds of her laboratory. She is destroying the place and says "Come Bane Darling, we have a plane to catch." We are supposed to assume that she has used said pheromones and toxins then? At what moment? It wasn't so much that he did her bidding, as I get where you're coming from but it goes together with how I said the directing and writing were just lazy.
Also, I loved the smarter Bane much more than this version. He was much more of a villian when he had a brain. Thanks for the input man, you've had something great to say nearly every week.
Tony
Posted By: steveberman1022 (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 12:24 AM
Arnie's one-liners should be in the good section. They are all so awesomely delivered. I love this movie. It's hilarious.
Posted By: Jusi Christo (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 12:36 AM
Agreed. The comic book Bane as scene in the three part KnightFall graphic novels was an amazing villain. The neutered version found in this movie doesn't do the character justice.
Posted By: Guest#9519 (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 01:07 AM
I didn't hate Batman & Robin, but, yeah, its a weak movie for sure. The slapstick gags (complete with a few cartoonish sound effects) are just too jarring and take away any drama the movie tries to generate.
Good call on the Wayne/Alfred relationship! That was a nice, believable element, and Clooney played it well. He made a likeable Bruce Wayne, but his Batman was utterly toothless and lame.
I too digged the Arkham stuff. I'm not even a reader of the Batman comics, but I know Arkham, and thought it, and the references were cool.
Freeze was badly done, but the stuff with his wife was pretty effective I thought. Arnie did his best work in the movie when NOT speaking...just using his eyes.
Didn't think much of Uma either. Shes pretty hit-and-miss as a rule.
hhmmm...she tends to dress up as animals more than most actresses...a gorilla here, a teddy bear in The Avengers and a bird in Even Cowgirls Get The Blues. Well, at least theres one reason to see three pretty lousy films.
Posted By: Earl (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 01:10 AM
oops Sunday was the MTV movie awards. i knew i forgot to watch something. oh well, the show might have sucked anyways. MTV sucks.
Posted By: Guest#0333 (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 01:19 AM
Batman > Superman.
Posted By: Guest#3059 (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 01:22 AM
Also you are reading way too much into the Green Lantern thing. And Hal Jordan was not in 'the right place at the right time'. He was without fear, and that is why he was chosen. I agree with the tagline being weak, but that doesn't mean anything at this stage. I still see this movie being great.
Posted By: Jusi Christo (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 05:22 AM
One truly horrible FUGLY you missed was the Batgirl/Ivy fight scene where Robin is being held underwater by Ivy's...um, ivy. Speaking of lazy, the camera shows Robin struggling up and out of the water against the vines, and then being "pulled back under".
The only problem is that the filmmakers apparently didn't shoot the second part of that, so they just quickly paused and reversed Chris O'Donnell coming up out of the water. It's the laziest scene of any big budget movie I've ever seen.
Posted By: Fierro (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 05:38 AM
There are soem great series for you to dissect. Star Wars, Star Trek, Evil Dead, Underworld, Highlander. Actually don't subject yourself to the alst one, as you'd have to watch the terrible terribleness of the final two movies. The others are all good to go though.
Posted By: AdamS (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 06:54 AM
I'd vote for the Indiana Jones films, just because of the awesome-shit-awesome-shit dichotomy of the four films.
You ake a good point about the Wayne/Alfred realtionship. The scene when Bruce asks if Alfred had any regrets and he said 'Only that I wasn't out there with you' was pretty sweet.
However, it does seem that Joel Schumacer is to movies what Vince Russo is to Wrestling.
Posted By: Loki (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 07:38 AM
While I thought Batman Forever was better than you gave it credit for, Batman and Robin was just plain awful--on just about every level. The scene that epitomized the horridness of this film was the one where Batman and Robin are under Ivy's spell, and they compete for her affections. At one point, Batman whips out a credit card in a moment that reminded me of the camp series from the 1960's. When you have a scene that could have been done by Adam West you know the franchise has jumped the shark in a big way.
Posted By: Michael L (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 09:53 AM
Let's not forget: "Freeze in Hell!" and "take two of these and call me in the morning." Yeech!
Posted By: thisisntme (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 11:36 AM
I got one for the "FUGLY" section, Tony! Ivy kisses Robin, then says, "Bad luck, I'm afraid. Time to die, little Robin!" Robin then says, "I hate to disappoint you, but..." HE PULLS OFF THE RUBBER LIPS! "... rubber lips are immune to your charms!" Why doesn't Ivy just KISS HIM AGAIN?! He just pulled the rubber lip off! It would have served him right, the cocky little shit.
Posted By: Sirois! (Registered) on June 07, 2010 at 11:51 AM
"Also you are reading way too much into the Green Lantern thing. And Hal Jordan was not in 'the right place at the right time'. He was without fear, and that is why he was chosen. I agree with the tagline being weak, but that doesn't mean anything at this stage. I still see this movie being great."
Technicly it was Right Place Right Time...it was shown that Guy was just as worthy but Hal was closer
Posted By: Gnome (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 12:09 PM
Batman and Robin was awesome...when I was 10.
Posted By: MBD (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 12:54 PM
The Shockmaster is a ruthless, some-what dumb-witted abomination created with steroids and venom. He tears down walls like nobody's business and stomps through thick cement. He is meant to be a freak, a massive man
Posted By: Coincidence??? (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 01:38 PM
I'm thinking you should do the jaws and poltergiest series'
Posted By: Adam! (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 01:42 PM
I, like the rest of the world no doubt, am itching for the Steve Guttenberg comeback but if Three Men and a Bride is successful, where will it end?
Three Men and a Grandchild
Three Men explaining divorce to a child
Two Men and a funeral
Two Men and an awkward conversation about Care Homes
Maybe Tony should cover the Three Men series next.
Posted By: Adam Hill (Registered) on June 07, 2010 at 04:30 PM
Don't forget the Schwarzenegger and Ventura were also in Predator together.
Posted By: Jody (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 04:31 PM
Great column as always. I vote Star Wars next...
Posted By: Marq (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 06:44 PM
Here's a good question:
Which movies are worse: Superman 3 & 4 or Batman Forever and Batman & Robin?
Posted By: Zingy (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 06:47 PM
Awsome question Zingy. My vote for worse would be Superman 3 & 4. As for Batman and Robin I liked the one liners. That's what Arnold did in all his movies. Yeah they were cheesy but they were supposed to be. It goes down as one of the movies so bad you have to watch it to laugh.
Posted By: Ryan (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 07:53 PM
It goes down as one of the movies so bad you have to watch it to laugh.
Posted By: Ryan (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 07:53 PM
Agreed.
Posted By: MBD (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 08:31 PM
Apparently that Green Lantern poster is meant for merchandisers, as is the tagline. Meaning anyone can be chosen to sell GL merch, or something like that. From what I've read, it's NOT the film's tagline. I hope not anyway.
Posted By: Rob (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 08:36 PM
dark knight kills christmas, youtube it
Posted By: youdonthavetothankme (Guest) on June 07, 2010 at 08:50 PM
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